The apostle John, writing his first general letter over 60 years after Jesus death and resurrection, counseled that Christians should not believe every inspired expression, but test the inspired expressions to see whether they originate with God.(1 John 4:1)<quoted text>
You have fallen into a typical mind control cult. I cannot help you. You have to make a choice to help yourself. Do HONEST investigation of what your cult tells you. Don't look at THEIR research (what do you think it will say?). Look for the truth.
I have, and so should you!