Lets Kill Alan Harper

“Take It To The Limit”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#1 May 4, 2014
Have you ever seen a more worthless piece of trash than Alan Herper? Why do they let that pile of pigsh*t win? He is the lowest form of human being on the planet. Hell, he's almost a texan.(he hasn't killed any Indians that I know of, or he'd be right down there with 'em.)
How would you do the job?
Me? Death by a thousand cuts. Or drown him in a tub of dog feces. Better yet, Why not put him in a vat and fill it with pennies, up to his neck. The pressure would not let him breath, and the end would come ever so slowly.
Why Kill Alan Harper? Well, he scared off all of Charlie's friends, his poker buddies and his drinking buddies. That alone would be good enough. But the imposition of living there rent free and yelling at Charlie, well, I;d have clocked his ass and dragged him into the surf on the first night.
Then there's Walden. Such a sucker for a con man. Maybe he'll catch Alan embezzling money from him, and jail alan's monkey ass. How much would it take? Walden is a sucker, so it'd have to be in the millions, and Alan's excuse would be that, while he already had eight million of Waldens money, he only needed another ten million or so 'To get by'..
But prison would be like home for Alan. He's already flaming as a homosexual, so being locked up with a bunck of horny guys just might be an ideal situation for the likes of alan harper.
What would real justice be for a sh*thole of a human being like that be?

“Take It To The Limit”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#2 May 5, 2014
A sign of the times, I guess. Anyone can do anything and nobody gives a rip. From television to The White House. No rules no punishment for breaking them.
Look at the current resident of 1600 Pennsylvamia Avenue, Washington D.C. He's dumb as a rock when it comes to the ecomony, foreign policy, and anything else you care to mention. On top of that he lies every time he opens his mouth. What does america do about it?
Nothing.
Why should they? It's not their problem. Except that it is their problem, your problem, All Our problem. barry obama has done everything he can to sink the middle class. Eleven million people have quit looking for work because there is no work out there, and all the jobs that used to carry the average Joe through the tough times like this have all been taken by illegal aliens. With barry blessing. In fact, barry wants to throw the doors open and let in another twenty million "Immigrants" His big plan? He wants the 'new arrivals' to take the meanial jobs, and retrain Americans for the higher paying jobs. The problem is that there Are no higher paying jobs out there. We have a literal unemployment level of TWENTY percent. The worst since The Great Depression. The difference between now and then is food stamps. Didn't have them in 1929.
Looking at things that way, a whiney little bitch like alan harper is just like your neighbor.
I'd still like to kill him.

“Take It To The Limit”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#3 May 5, 2014
"Why do you hate him so much? He's only a tv character?"
Well, on just about every show, he gives you another reason to want to throttle his ass.
How about the episode where he bought Jake a copy of 'The Taming of The Shrew' in Elizabethan? Christ, I've known college students who couldn't make heads nor tails out of that language. Alan didn't really expect Jake to 'get it', he just wanted to show off his 'intellectual superiority' to an eleven year old child.
And how about all the times he has lectured the kid in front of everyone, topics that should have been handled in private, again just to show what a 'good dad' he is.
The way that kid was raised, he should have been caught in the produce section of the local market, humping a cantaloupe, with a banana stuck up his butt-crack.

“Take It To The Limit”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#4 May 16, 2014
So, what happened when alan finally confessed to Larry that he lied to him the whoile time and was banging his girl? That pussy larry Forgave Him. Chickensh*t bitch.
Who's writing this garbage, anyway? alan fricking harper? What a load of SH*T. This story line Must have a bloody ending for that crap-filled bag of skin. The writer may think that this shit is funny, but making a hero out of this garbage bin of humanity is just plain disgusting.
Humiliate the bastard. His neice is doing porn fior pay, so have her set up a gay porn shoot for alan, and have him gang-banged by a dozen guyss, with alan thinking he's getting fifteen hundred per 'shot', and then only have one caught on camera, which is the only way they pay. So alan gets money, but something he sdaid before it started cuts his money to almost nothing. When the directer says "It pays fifteen hundred per shot." alan then says,'Heck, I'd do it for half.' Then the directer tells the casting directer, who tells the paymaster, and by the time alan gets paid, he gets one hundred and eighty two dollars and fifty cents. He bitches about it to the directer, and the director tells him that because he lives in Malibu, they pay a special rate. So alan signs up for day two, He gets the same treatment, and when pay time comes, he is paid one dollar. the director tells him that Malibu residents do porn for the credit, and not money, since they're all rich anyway. alan smugly tells the director that he got one hundred and eighty two dollars the day before, just to rub salt in the directors face, but then the director tells him that it was OK because they recouped the money on his credit card, which puts alan over his credit limit. This can set alan up for fraud because he got the card illegally, and now the police are after 'Jeff Strongman' as well as alan harper. From there, you could set Walden up as the backer of the porn movie, and take as many turns as you want, as long as alan harper is tossed under the bus for the rest of the show's run.
Kill the worthless bastard in the end,

“Take It To The Limit”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#5 Jun 1, 2014
How 'bout this? Say Interpol shows up at the house, looking for Charlie Harper because they found out that he faked his death. Turns out that Charlie ran away to Europe to get away from loan sharks, and reports say that he is in Belgium. Alan spreads this news all over the city anmd then takes Charlie's name, thinking that it's sfe because everyone thinks that Charlie is still in Europe. Rose inadvetantly tells the wrong people that Charlie is back at the Malibu house, and hit men come after 'Charlie'.
But, was Rose's slip of the tongue an accident, or was she setting Alan up to take the fall for Charlie?
Let alan get away a couple of times before they drop the double hammer on his face with a twelve guage shotgun. Then 'Alan Harper comes home. Charlie takes alan's identity and lives happily ever after with Rose. Walden makes Charlie his new best friend and everybody joins in. happy to finally be free of the scumbag known as 'alan harper.'
If that don't work, how about Charlie winning the Australian lottery and living in Sydney with fi8ve hundred million dollars, all tax free and alan finding out about it and hanging himself because he can't raise the money to get thewre to mooch off his big brother. I like that one, too., Of course, Rose is still with Charlie, their love turning out to be the real thing after all.
Oh, and Walden can 'turn' Charlie's daughter with his charm, money and huge apparatus.
Wait What

Blacklick, OH

#6 Jun 2, 2014
wtf are you talking about?

“Take It To The Limit”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#7 Jun 2, 2014
Wait What wrote:
wtf are you talking about?
Retirement is boring. I'm thinking up ways to kill 'alan harper', that worthless POS of 'Two And A Half Men'. You know, the mooch, disgusting loser who thinks he's better than anyone and everyone. The jerk who bought a book in Elizabethan' just to feel superior to his eleven year old sn. The a$$hole who moved in on his brother and tried to take over the house.
So things to hate about a character who, fortunately is only on television. If I met a rel alan harper type, I think I'd kill him on the spot.
Is that so hard to understand?
Wait What

Blacklick, OH

#8 Jun 2, 2014
Oh, television. Except for Formula One races I don't watch it

“Take It To The Limit”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#10 Jun 2, 2014
PDX Dave wrote:
I actually have no problem with [TV show character] Alan Harper. The fictional character I would like to deal with is Sheldon Cooper, on The Big Bang Theory. Not quite sure what he needs, other than to be put in a social situation where he has no access to this technology, and silly damn sci-fi predilections. Physical beatings obviously won't do it since you received lots of those growing up, know his problem is mental. Perhaps he needs to be raped by two beautiful young women? Something to get him over his phobia being touched!
I know what you mean about 'the big bang theory'. I call it 'the gang bang theory' Why? Because I think that if those idiots got in line of a hooker being 'trained' by a dozen guys,'got lost in the action' as it were, then all their problems would be solved. You know, losing their cherry and all. I thought guys like that went the way of the do-do bird back in '94. You know, when four million trekkies went through puberty overnight when they introduced 'Seven of nine' on ST Voyager.
No problem with alan harper??? You must have thick skin, or a relative like that jerk. For awhile I thought that one of Walden's friends would show up and throw alan out, but then they made Walden an ex 'BBT' guy.
The good news is that the producers have announced that there will only be half a season this year because they're going to close the show. I'm hoping something heinus will happen to alan because they let his worthless ass slide on his deception with Larry. I was actually giggling, thinking of what Larry was gonna do to alan when he found out that 'jeff strongman' was alan harper and doing his wife-to-be.
DenverGQ303

Colorado Springs, CO

#11 Oct 17, 2016
Rudyard Kiplingesque wrote:
Have you ever seen a more worthless piece of trash than Alan Herper? Why do they let that pile of pigsh*t win? He is the lowest form of human being on the planet. Hell, he's almost a texan.(he hasn't killed any Indians that I know of, or he'd be right down there with 'em.)
How would you do the job?
Me? Death by a thousand cuts. Or drown him in a tub of dog feces. Better yet, Why not put him in a vat and fill it with pennies, up to his neck. The pressure would not let him breath, and the end would come ever so slowly.
Why Kill Alan Harper? Well, he scared off all of Charlie's friends, his poker buddies and his drinking buddies. That alone would be good enough. But the imposition of living there rent free and yelling at Charlie, well, I;d have clocked his ass and dragged him into the surf on the first night.
Then there's Walden. Such a sucker for a con man. Maybe he'll catch Alan embezzling money from him, and jail alan's monkey ass. How much would it take? Walden is a sucker, so it'd have to be in the millions, and Alan's excuse would be that, while he already had eight million of Waldens money, he only needed another ten million or so 'To get by'..
But prison would be like home for Alan. He's already flaming as a homosexual, so being locked up with a bunck of horny guys just might be an ideal situation for the likes of alan harper.
What would real justice be for a sh*thole of a human being like that be?
.........DENVERGQ303 Here...I AGREE...Alan Harper Is Garbage. Worthless Ass Mooch..POS

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Top Stories Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Plurality of Americans think Trump is failing (Mar '17) 2 min Bongo 59,378
Sad Songs That Make You Cry 3 min marvin 4
"You Might Be A Liberal If..." 6 min truth 4
News Roman Catholic church only true church, says Va... (Jul '07) 9 min Chuck 695,416
How would you know if a woman is worth it? 16 min jordanv2 1
God is REAL - Miracles Happen! (Jun '11) 28 min Tony 6,783
Prove there's a god. (Mar '08) 38 min CIA Agent 994,034
wierd situation with my mom. (Jul '14) 4 hr Pimpy 23
More from around the web