Kokopelli's Place, too

“cat lover”

Since: Jul 07

Tucson

#23947 Apr 10, 2013
Jolly wrote:
<quoted text>
hiya Flowerchild: Happy HUMP Day to you, too! You certainly have busy days, lately!
D was sick in bed for several days with a bad cold, when we returned from CT, but he's fine now. O's doing OK; she's one tough old bird. She's been living alone for over a year now, so the transition hasn't been as difficult as it could have been. Thanks for asking.
Company is coming later today; a longtime family friend [as in: our grandparents were friends, long ago] drops by every-so-often, when he has a business trip in the area. D & he have become RC buddies (LOL), and will spend hours modifying and then flying their various aircrafts.*shaking head, laughing: boys-will-be-boys*
Trying to decide whether to drive or fly to FL this summer. We've done both already, and are weighing the pros & cons. De's got leftover vacation time from last year, so time isn't an issue. I'm opting for driving, because there's more flexibility (ie: we can stop & visit friends & family along the route). Decisions, decisions! Flying would get us down there much faster, but that has its hassles, too (hurry-up-and-wait-then-run-to -a-different-gate-at-the-last- minute! ARGGG) Which do you prefer: flying or driving on vacation?
Enjoy the day! We've been getting intermittent rain showers since last night and Joe-the-cat keeps coming in soaked & looking to be toweled off.
well have fun with you friends and take a mini vaction for your self :) purr purr
Jolly

Oneonta, NY

#23948 Apr 10, 2013
LuAnn D wrote:
<quoted text>well have fun with you friends and take a mini vaction for your self :) purr purr
hiya Kitten! <BOING! BOING!> A few ping pong balls for you!

Thanks! We always have fun, when our friends get together (which is why we're friends!*wink*)

Hope your day has been a good one.

:o )

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#23949 Apr 11, 2013
Good Morning Folks!

Back with us once again right here on Kokopelli's Place, too thread..........is our NOT so favorite squatty body, jiggly fat, baby bottle sucking, diaper wearing dwarf Voyeur!

But before he starts his act, he wants to everyone he loves you almost as much as Donkey!

~~~~~~~~~~

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#23950 Apr 11, 2013
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Luke, a k a Houdini.

I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Duh!!!!!

What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#23951 Apr 11, 2013
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A FRIEND WiTH 2 BLACK EYES...
(NOTHING, SOMEBODY DONE TOLD 'EM TWICE...)

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#23952 Apr 11, 2013
This Brit gets off work and goes to the local pub, and stays there until closing time. As he staggers down the street he knows he's in deep trouble at home. So he stops by an all night florist and buys a bunch of flowers. When he staggers in the front door there's his wife, arms folded, tapping her foot. He hands her the flowers and says "There ya go shweety jush for you!" She replies "Now I suppose ya want me to spread my legs!" His reply was, "Washamatter shweety, aintcha got a vase?"

He is due to be released from the hospital in a week.

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#23953 Apr 11, 2013
Blonde Kidnapper:

A blonde woman with financial troubles decided to kidnap a child and demand ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a paper bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 AM. Signed, The Blonde
She pinned the note to the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note:
Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#23954 Apr 11, 2013
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then
when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and
have his shoes.

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#23955 Apr 11, 2013
A Guide to the Identification and Classification of North American Farts

Learning- or better still, thinking up- names for fart types is a
traditional early-adolescent ritual. Similarly, methods of identifying
the source of a fart are a subject of peer-group, or tribal,
speculation, the usual rule of thumb being "Who smelled it, dealt it,"
or "The smeller's the feller."

Occasionally, this oral tradition has acheived the level of Xerox
publication, but never before has a systematic analysis, along the lines
of Jane's Fighting ships or A Field Guide to the Birds, been attempted
in print. Tentatively, then, we present the following.

Blind Farts: Traditional noiseless reekers.(Expression since circa
1880 - see also "SBD's").

Boomers: Full-throated, rousing explosions; the parent orginism
frequently betrays his or her authorship with a smile of ill-conceled
pride.

Carpet Creepers: Heavier- than- air creations, these linger and
permeate the atmosphere at or near ground level; source invariably
anonymous, having left the room.

Fizzles: Efforts at first promising, but eventually unsatisfactory, at
least to the donor; often effective upon bystanders. Often the last of a
series; originator betrays disappointment.

Fudgies: See Wet Ones.

One-Cheek Sneaks: Attempted surreptitous contributions, usually
signified BY the the artist's "tilting". Ricocheting off metal "bridge
chairs" or church pews, they posses satisfactory resonance, produce
blushes, giggles, glares.

Poohs: Open-spincter donations, gusty and full-bodied, but lacking
sonority; popular on buses; customarily unaknowledged.

SBD's:(Silent But Deadly type). Consistant with the Law of
Conservation of Energy, what SBD lacks in audible qualities is
compensated for in a semi-lethal olfactory intensity. The mechanism
responsible is usually the innocent-looking person glancing about
suspiciously.

Screamers: High-pitched, tight-spincter offerings, often of astonishing
duration and tonal variations; most pleasuribly exchanged among roomates
or frat brothers, or inspired by presence of officious bureaucrat.

Sliders: See One-Cheek Sneaks.

Squeegies: Small, immature, and moist products. Humiliating for all
concerned.

Wet Ones:(aka Brewer's Farts, Fudgies, Playing Misty). Samples are
accompnied by gutteral, rasping, or lisping sound, indicating vaporous
content. Originator registers astonishment, dred, then departs, walking
funny.

Whiffers: see Poohs.
Jolly

Oneonta, NY

#23957 Apr 11, 2013
Voyeur wrote:
Blonde Kidnapper:
A blonde woman with financial troubles decided to kidnap a child and demand ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a paper bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 AM. Signed, The Blonde
She pinned the note to the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note:
Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!
Funny!

:o )

“cat lover”

Since: Jul 07

Tucson

#23958 Apr 11, 2013
Voyeur wrote:
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then
when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and
have his shoes.
so true and give donkey a pat on the neck for me :)

“TEXAS ... SECEDE”

Since: Feb 08

REPUBLIC OF TEXAS

#23959 Apr 11, 2013
Silly donkey, lol ...

“TEXAS ... SECEDE”

Since: Feb 08

REPUBLIC OF TEXAS

#23960 Apr 11, 2013
Morning, Kitten >smiles<

“TEXAS ... SECEDE”

Since: Feb 08

REPUBLIC OF TEXAS

#23961 Apr 11, 2013
Jolly wrote:
<quoted text>
hiya Flowerchild: Happy HUMP Day to you, too! You certainly have busy days, lately!
D was sick in bed for several days with a bad cold, when we returned from CT, but he's fine now. O's doing OK; she's one tough old bird. She's been living alone for over a year now, so the transition hasn't been as difficult as it could have been. Thanks for asking.
Company is coming later today; a longtime family friend [as in: our grandparents were friends, long ago] drops by every-so-often, when he has a business trip in the area. D & he have become RC buddies (LOL), and will spend hours modifying and then flying their various aircrafts.*shaking head, laughing: boys-will-be-boys*
Trying to decide whether to drive or fly to FL this summer. We've done both already, and are weighing the pros & cons. De's got leftover vacation time from last year, so time isn't an issue. I'm opting for driving, because there's more flexibility (ie: we can stop & visit friends & family along the route). Decisions, decisions! Flying would get us down there much faster, but that has its hassles, too (hurry-up-and-wait-then-run-to -a-different-gate-at-the-last- minute! ARGGG) Which do you prefer: flying or driving on vacation?
Enjoy the day! We've been getting intermittent rain showers since last night and Joe-the-cat keeps coming in soaked & looking to be toweled off.
Good afternoon, Jolly! Just barely turned to you ... it's 1100 here, just barely turned ... The floor guy is here re-doing what the initial "floor" guy did, "improperly" ... he's going to have to let the "floor prep" stuff dry OVERNIGHT and it's in THE HALLWAY, grrrrrrrr ... which means I'm going to have to barricade the area and keep the pups out of that area ... speaking of pups, PoohBear is very ill ... "allergies and upper respiratory infection" ... I called the vet yesterday and told her he's wheezing more, panting more and having difficulting breathing ... she said to up his Tramadol (anti-inflammatory/pain pills) to 1 1/2 per day 3 times a day ... that didn't help ... he kept me up all night ... he's now looking for places to hide, in between the sofa and sofa, between the bed and the dresser, he's not sleeping on the floor beside my bed at night and he's not eating ... I put some deli turkey in front of him just now and he turned his head away from him, yep, he's ill ... makes me feel really bad for him ... I hope the flooring guy leaves real soon so I can get PoohBear in the car and head straight for the vet ... Please say a prayer for him and I hope you and yours have a great day! xoxo
Jolly

Oneonta, NY

#23962 Apr 11, 2013
Flower-Child wrote:
<quoted text>
Good afternoon, Jolly! Just barely turned to you ... it's 1100 here, just barely turned ... The floor guy is here re-doing what the initial "floor" guy did, "improperly" ... he's going to have to let the "floor prep" stuff dry OVERNIGHT and it's in THE HALLWAY, grrrrrrrr ... which means I'm going to have to barricade the area and keep the pups out of that area ... speaking of pups, PoohBear is very ill ... "allergies and upper respiratory infection" ... I called the vet yesterday and told her he's wheezing more, panting more and having difficulting breathing ... she said to up his Tramadol (anti-inflammatory/pain pills) to 1 1/2 per day 3 times a day ... that didn't help ... he kept me up all night ... he's now looking for places to hide, in between the sofa and sofa, between the bed and the dresser, he's not sleeping on the floor beside my bed at night and he's not eating ... I put some deli turkey in front of him just now and he turned his head away from him, yep, he's ill ... makes me feel really bad for him ... I hope the flooring guy leaves real soon so I can get PoohBear in the car and head straight for the vet ... Please say a prayer for him and I hope you and yours have a great day! xoxo
hey there FC: So sorry to hear about Pooh Bear's health troubles! Hopefully the vet will find the perfect treatment to make PB feel better.

A thought: With all the updates being done around your home (and they sound wonderful), is it possible that the workmen used some sort of chemical agent that PB's allergic to? Just a thought. Hope you find out what's troubling the poor dog.

I've got 2 of my pets on meds for chronic conditions. Poor little guys. It's always something...

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Since: May 07

Location hidden

#23963 Apr 12, 2013
Flower-Child wrote:
Silly donkey, lol ...
You don't want to upset Voyeur! lol

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Since: May 07

Location hidden

#23964 Apr 12, 2013
LuAnn D wrote:
<quoted text>so true and give donkey a pat on the neck for me :)
I will do that just for you LD!

“cat lover”

Since: Jul 07

Tucson

#23965 Apr 12, 2013
Ricky F wrote:
<quoted text>I will do that just for you LD!
you would like that Ricky ha ha how are you :)

“TEXAS ... SECEDE”

Since: Feb 08

REPUBLIC OF TEXAS

#23966 Apr 18, 2013
Jolly wrote:
<quoted text>
hey there FC: So sorry to hear about Pooh Bear's health troubles! Hopefully the vet will find the perfect treatment to make PB feel better.
A thought: With all the updates being done around your home (and they sound wonderful), is it possible that the workmen used some sort of chemical agent that PB's allergic to? Just a thought. Hope you find out what's troubling the poor dog.
I've got 2 of my pets on meds for chronic conditions. Poor little guys. It's always something...
Good afternoon, Jolly! We've emailed since this post so you know the situation ... Urine specimen still not back from Texas A&M at Bryan-College Station to prove or disprove Cushing's Disease ... couple more days of antibiotics ... you will read about last nights storm and WHERE I found PB this morning ... Miracle, I tell you ... very moving and brought tears to my eyes ... but so did the choir singing America the Beautiful following the prayer after Obama gave his speech regarding the Boston bombing ... Goodness, so much in the news these days including the explosion at West, Texas ... It's no wonder I don't watch the news ... Presently the Brewers, Gallardo just pommeled a home run out of the park ... his first 2 RBI's of the year ... yes, I'm watching baseball, what do you expect, LOL ... sure beats the bad news on regular stations ... none of that on Major League Channel, YES!...They're playing SFO and one of my favorite players, Hunter Pence who played, at one time, for the Houston Astros but that probably means zip to you, LOL ... just a little bit of trivia you can throw out at D sometime, to surprise him, haha ... whatwith his love for R/C toys, he'd probably say, "say what?" LOL ... Hope your day is good ... Enjoy it! xoxo

“TEXAS ... SECEDE”

Since: Feb 08

REPUBLIC OF TEXAS

#23967 Apr 18, 2013
>>waves to Kitten, Ricky and Voyeur<<

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