Domestic violence,Custody and forced ...
Lisa

Littleton, CO

#21 Apr 27, 2009
The feminists lied to women. They have been telling us and pushing us to go forward using lies about what resources are available to us and what "rights" we have in the course of "liberating" ourselves. Most of these women are married, have never been through it themselves, but are eager to push those in vulnerable situations to get divorced so that we become the pioneers for them - and they end up watching the suffering from the sidelines. The unprotected children are the ones who suffer most from their selfishness. They are abusive in their own right. I put them in the same category as the abusers.

We still have no rights. The children have no rights. It is all words.

Hey, little "I-think-I'll-volunteer-f or-women's-rights" housewives who got tired of playing tennis all day (this includes nothing attorneys whose mommies and daddies paid for college to impress their friends). We don't need your ignorant advice messing up our lives. Go home and bake cookies for some schmuck and quit lying to women who need some intelligent counsel about their safety, and their childrens' futures.

Quit pushing us to the front of the line (that really ends up being "over the cliff"), you loser cowards.

As I said, you are as bad as the abusers. Try walking in our shoes, the ones you put out in front of us with no clue as to whether a person could really walk successfully in them.

Hate your guts (on behalf of my son and myself).
Holly

Auburn, MA

#22 May 20, 2009
Next time the police get involved you mention to them visitations are a civil matter that is addressed in the courts and not by them and they are criminal. Actually I am in the process of getting a petition going against forced visitations. Keep in mind woman out number men 5 to 1 ;-)
Holly

Auburn, MA

#23 May 20, 2009
[Get him for abandoment
Holly

Auburn, MA

#24 May 20, 2009
There is a petition site I am going to draft up one against forced visitations and post it and when I reach enough signatures I will mail it to President Obama. At one time woman were not allowed to ven vote well guess what we can now and we outnumber men 5 to 1. Remember united we stand divided we fall. We carried these babies, our life gave them life and I'll be damned if someone is going to destroy our babies.
PB from Texas

United States

#25 Jun 10, 2009
Every situation is different and unfortunately, there are custodial parents who indeed make sure that the child will not have a good relationship with the non-custodial parent; even if the non-custodial parent is an excellent parent. My stepdaughter has been part of our lives since she was 10 months old. The mother left my husband for another man and lied about baby's father. The paternity test proved differently. She is a narcissist and as a narcissist she will use her children to get her way. Now, my SD doesn't want to come visit for the entire parenting time and her mother is supporting her. What about in this case? Should the child be forced? Should the child have the right to change her mind everytime she doesn't feel like coming? She's 13th! Would you allow your child not to go school because she doesn't feel like it?
Unfortunately, some people are paying for others' mistakes. If the child is being abused then certainly something needs to be done about it. Sometimes we don't have control over situations like this but PRAYING and turning your struggles to GOD is better than doing nothing about it and most times it's the solution.
shannon kriska

Ashburn, VA

#26 Jun 20, 2009
I am going through the same thing. I agree that our kids need to bo heard. As mothers it is our job to protect our kids!!!!!
shannon kriska

Ashburn, VA

#27 Jun 20, 2009
My ex- husband came to pick up my child last night and she told him that she did not want to go with him.Then of course he started using profanity saying he was going to get an attorney and take me to court.Let him go ahead then just maybe my child wiil be heard.
Feminist

Buffalo, NY

#28 Jun 21, 2009
Lisa wrote:
The feminists lied to women. They have been telling us and pushing us to go forward using lies about what resources are available to us and what "rights" we have in the course of "liberating" ourselves. Most of these women are married, have never been through it themselves, but are eager to push those in vulnerable situations to get divorced so that we become the pioneers for them - and they end up watching the suffering from the sidelines. The unprotected children are the ones who suffer most from their selfishness. They are abusive in their own right. I put them in the same category as the abusers.
We still have no rights. The children have no rights. It is all words.
Hey, little "I-think-I'll-volunteer-f or-women's-rights" housewives who got tired of playing tennis all day (this includes nothing attorneys whose mommies and daddies paid for college to impress their friends). We don't need your ignorant advice messing up our lives. Go home and bake cookies for some schmuck and quit lying to women who need some intelligent counsel about their safety, and their childrens' futures.
Quit pushing us to the front of the line (that really ends up being "over the cliff"), you loser cowards.
As I said, you are as bad as the abusers. Try walking in our shoes, the ones you put out in front of us with no clue as to whether a person could really walk successfully in them.
Hate your guts (on behalf of my son and myself).
Please don't hate my screen name. My interests as a Feminist are primarily about abuse of women and families.
I'm not sure why you think that most feminists are tennis playing housewives that look at women's rights as a suburban hobby.

Domestic violence is still a very under reported abuse. The postings here are very upsetting. You are right, the "help" available to abused women doesn't seem to help at all. The system in many ways "fails."
Feminist

Buffalo, NY

#29 Jun 23, 2009
At least Chris pleaded guilty. I hope probation means that if he batters again that he immediately goes to jail.

Community service? He needs counseling and anger management. Notice how the media downplays this news.

Convictions are rare, penalties light.
Concerned mom

AOL

#30 Jun 27, 2009
shannon kriska wrote:
I am going through the same thing. I agree that our kids need to bo heard. As mothers it is our job to protect our kids!!!!!
It seems it's all about being politically correct anymore. The children have no rights. The courts say they will do what is in the best interest of the child, but how can forcing a child to visit a father whose behavior has done nothing but cause the child stress be in the best interest of that child? My son's anxiety has sky rocketed while his alcoholic father threatens him with taking me to court when my son doesn't want to see him. And he wonders why he doesn't want to see him.@@
Dallas Father

Austin, TX

#31 Jun 29, 2009
Hi,

I'd like to get some advice from a father's perspective. My wife and I separated about 2 years ago. For a while the children stayed at her place for a week and then my place for a week and no one paid any children support. Due to a lot of stress from the relationship and job problems I became depressed and had to take medication. I explained to my ex about my diagnosed condition. Also the counselors advised me to take a break from the kids until the medication kicked in. Let me tell you, those 2 months of depression was the worst days of my life. During the whole process I continued to stay in contact with the kids by taking them to lunch at school, sending emails, and videos. After about 4 months I was ready to resume the week on week off but I wanted to make everything legal just in case she or I married someone else. My ex flatly refused to do this through a lawyer or free mediation. I started sending her money every month for a whole year and not once did the children want to see me or return my phone calls. I continued to email and asked her about working with me to find out what do the children want as far as visitation and legalize it. Again, she flatly refused. I told her I did not feel it's right to keep sending her money if she doesn't want to work with me. I received a letter from the Texas Attorney General to come in for mediation. But when I got there, they did a DNA swab and told me I'd have to come back when the results are in. Now I never ever denied the children were mines. They said they did this because legal custody had not been determined. In the meantime, my ex told the kids I was trying to prove they are not mines. After the lady at the child support office told her it was a mistake, she went back in apologized to the kids ... but the damage had been done! I refused to sign any child support documents because I still want to do want the kids want and not the court ordered "best interest" of the child. As I've continued to explain to my ex. In court, they gave temporary orders and are "forcing the children" to be with me for the summer. What's more interesting is she asked them if the visitation can start immediately. So Friday she dropped the kids off for the summer and they "hate" my guts and are misearable. They go to their rooms and stay. They don't speak, say hello, or anything. They treat me like I've been convicted of child abuse or molestation. I'm feeling angry, hurt, sad, and confused. I want to be the best father that I am with them but I also want to be a best father that I am if they don't want to be with me. I simply don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel like taking back to the mother and just pay the child support regardless if they want to see me or not. Other times I want to work to reclaim the wonderful relationship we once had. Right now everyone in the house is suffering. Would I be a bad father if I take the kids back to the mother and end the suffering they are having now? Thank you in advance for any and all advice.
supportmyhusband

Moss Point, MS

#32 Jun 29, 2009
it seems there are alot of messages against the fathers on here. I am dealing with being able to see my stepkids.
their mother is apparently having a hard time moving on and denys us any right to talk to or see the kids. we have been going to court over 2 years. every time we have a child born to my husband and i she keeps the kids from us. we cant talk to them. she even said we need a phsyc eval. and now that she has to pay for it because it is not founded..she refuses to do so. All we wanted was to see and talk to the kids when we wanted. but just like she said ..she loves him and always will the only problem now is she says she doesn't but pr0ves other wise.
Mike

Kinston, NC

#33 Jun 30, 2009
Dallas Father wrote:
Hi,
I'd like to get some advice from a father's perspective. My wife and I separated about 2 years ago. For a while the children stayed at her place for a week and then my place for a week and no one paid any children support. Due to a lot of stress from the relationship and job problems I became depressed and had to take medication. I explained to my ex about my diagnosed condition.
Alot of times the ex will turn the kids completely against the father. I did go through a divorce(ah, memories)but I dont have kids so I cant speak to a scientific certainty about this. But my best friend went through a nasty split and sure 'nuff he has two kids. He was just as shitty of a husband as she was a wife but all signs pointed to a great father. I would actually see those two start at it and he would be the one try and move it away from the kids. She, on the other hand, insisted on bringing the kids into it. That seems to be whats going on with him right now. She informs the kids about what a horrible husband he was while he doesnt even mention the marriage or what led up to its failing. And surprise, surprise: last I heard the kids are now acting very resentful towards him and bringing up stuff that their mother must have told them from when they were married. Stuff that they never would've known nor needed to. Same story from most of the ex-husband/fathers according to him and the few I've talked to echo his statements. So your problem here might be that their mother is seeking validation in her anger towards you by eliciting support from your kids. If you're kids have bought it then there may not be a whole lot you can do other than try your damnest to convey to them that whatever happened between you and their mother has NOTHING to do with them. Thats the only sound course of action I can think of.

Since: Apr 09

Eldon, MO

#34 Jun 30, 2009
Sometimes, the children are actually being abused by the 'non-custodial' parent. More often than not though, the kids are just hearing negative things about the other parent from whichever parent they have to be with at the time. THIS is what causes all of the emotional trauma and insecurity.

Adults/Parents need to grow up and set their resentments for their ex aside in order to spare their child a messed up and confused sense of emotional security (or non-security).

In my family, I've seen this happen both ways:

One of my brothers got divorced and the ex-wife turned into a coke addict and a criminal (who did jail time). However, my brother never tried to keep his kids from loving their mother. He also encouraged and supported their relationships with her side of the family. These two kids are pretty well adjusted and successful college graduates.

Another brother of mine got divorced in a situation where he and the ex-wife are bitter towards each other and talk sh-t about each other to their son. This kid is F-cked up. None of his teachers can handle him, and he has to get special ed services for the emotionally disturbed as well as see therapists and a psychiatrist. This has been my experience with the issue.

So...

All of you parents who are trying to turn their kids against their other biological parent--->KNOCK IT OFF. You're F-cking your kids up. My niece and nephew with the coke addict mother know their Mom is sick, but they were NEVER told that she was bad or evil, simply that she was sick. Try to learn from this.
Ticked Off

Mount Juliet, TN

#35 Jul 24, 2009
I have been in and out of litigation for a little over four years now. It started with my ex-husband kidnapping our child ( 3 years old ). Of course I got our child back. Crazy girlfriend of his comes out of nowhere in the middle of the divorce to threaten me, and threaten me to my child. It has been 3 years of my child coming back with bruises, angry, nightmares, and scared of this woman. My child doesn't even want to talk to her father on the phone. CPS did nothing, so because I denied two days of visitation that weren't court ordered that daddy demanded when I brought up the abuse, I got $10,000 in fines, have to drive my child roughly 5,000 miles a month for every other weekend visits, not allowed to talk to my child during her fathers ENTIRE summer visitation schedule. Apparently, me going after the girlfriend once-according to the other attorney makes me jealous and petty. Then, stupid me, file for more child support-as he makes over 100k a year. I'm re-married to an incredible man who happens to be the best father my child could hope for. Yes, one week after school ends, until "within" one week before school resumes. My ex-husband has her now for summer visit. I imagine as soon as I tell him school starts early this year, I'll be punished again with an emergency hearing and more financial ruin, on top of my daughters emotional abuse. But hey, since the daddy doesn't think our child needs to see a psychologist, the Judge agrees and shame on me for taking my child to one-THAT AGREED with my child. WTH is wrong with the judicial system. I think the courts have taken "father's rights" to extremes and to the detriment of our children. The Judge actually made some biased comments before my attorney got to speak. My daughters behavior is notably different-school officials have noticed! I can't do anything though. If I even say anything offensive to the father or his girlfriend, the judge will put me in jail for 180 days. I'm so mad and I want so badly for all truly screwed over parents and children to be heard! Anyone want to start an organization???? I'm game! I had to create an email address that the crazy girlfriend doesn't know about-as she has hacked into everything, including my bank accounts-thanks to courts allowing an ex to give out my identity info but Judges don't want to hear it-amazing isn't it?!:
wecanjustpretend@gmail.com is how I can be reached.
Cathryn

Clarksville, MD

#36 Aug 10, 2009
I have been caring for my cousin's daughter since she was 7 months old she will be 3yrs old in march. The Biological father is unknown on her birth certificate. The mother of the child has mental illness. Me and my husband have provided the child with a loving home and medical school needs. The mother recently signed adoption papers over to us. The maybe bio dad decided that he wants to fight for custody after all this time. When the child came to live with us the bio father knew she was living with us. We offered to pay for the dna test he never wanted anything to do with her. If anyone has any insight or may have been through this please fill me in

Cathryn
Holly

Webster, MA

#37 Aug 10, 2009
It is true that every situation is different. However children are human being and they have feelings and they have rights. Our own Constitution did not exclude them. As far as the statement "if they did not want to go to school" Ha ha ha. That is why they have other options and are not confined to a box with no way out. We have public, private; Catholic, Home Schooling .....So my answer to that is no. They have other options. I rest my case on a totally different topic at hand here. Forced visitations will "NOT" build a bond and certainly not a healthy bond. It builds resentment, mistrust, future problems as an adult. Children become adults sooner or later and yes they will rebel. Children "SHOULD" have a voice. They need room to grow and develop and we should be encouraging them to be proactive and allow them to develop critical thinking skills yet they are not allowed to. This is essential in growth and development. Perhaps if one took the initiative to follow with some research they would see that children are now reaching out with their own petitions, an increase in run aways, unwanted pregnancies, rehabs and therapy and drugs, alcoholism, prostitution, fatalities such as suicide and see that some of the children actually kill the parent. The list goes on and on and it is all over the United States. No state is exempt!!!
PB from Texas wrote:
Every situation is different and unfortunately, there are custodial parents who indeed make sure that the child will not have a good relationship with the non-custodial parent; even if the non-custodial parent is an excellent parent. My stepdaughter has been part of our lives since she was 10 months old. The mother left my husband for another man and lied about baby's father. The paternity test proved differently. She is a narcissist and as a narcissist she will use her children to get her way. Now, my SD doesn't want to come visit for the entire parenting time and her mother is supporting her. What about in this case? Should the child be forced? Should the child have the right to change her mind everytime she doesn't feel like coming? She's 13th! Would you allow your child not to go school because she doesn't feel like it?
Unfortunately, some people are paying for others' mistakes. If the child is being abused then certainly something needs to be done about it. Sometimes we don't have control over situations like this but PRAYING and turning your struggles to GOD is better than doing nothing about it and most times it's the solution.
Holly

Webster, MA

#38 Aug 10, 2009
Make sure you tell the judge he is discussing court to the child and that is a no no and also a sure sign he has control issues perhaps he needs therapy.
shannon kriska wrote:
My ex- husband came to pick up my child last night and she told him that she did not want to go with him.Then of course he started using profanity saying he was going to get an attorney and take me to court.Let him go ahead then just maybe my child wiil be heard.
Holly

Webster, MA

#39 Aug 10, 2009
Most states allow the biological father to step up to the plate by the age of 2. His name does nto appear on the birth certificate, there is no bond and no support. Decline the DNA.
Cathryn wrote:
I have been caring for my cousin's daughter since she was 7 months old she will be 3yrs old in march. The Biological father is unknown on her birth certificate. The mother of the child has mental illness. Me and my husband have provided the child with a loving home and medical school needs. The mother recently signed adoption papers over to us. The maybe bio dad decided that he wants to fight for custody after all this time. When the child came to live with us the bio father knew she was living with us. We offered to pay for the dna test he never wanted anything to do with her. If anyone has any insight or may have been through this please fill me in
Cathryn
cathryn

Clarksville, MD

#40 Aug 11, 2009
Most states allow the biological father to step up to the plate by the age of 2. His name does nto appear on the birth certificate, there is no bond and no support. Decline the DNA.

Re: Can we decline the DNA test if the maybe father goes through our lawyer. And we have a custody hearing date set can he get involved. I was thinking we can get him for parental unintrest if he is the father and have his rights taken away. Do you know if that is possible.

Cathryn

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