Proves my point.I've been married to an engineer for almost three decades. You have to listen carefully to their detailed discussions, and you have to support their every endeavour - but you can create your own life (even thought they want you consistently immersed in their routine and efforts). I've always worked FT but I also volunteered for all of his activities - it was expected. Engineers can be demanding. My fellow is prone to overwork and I used to worry - I've learned to back off. Ultimately an engineer is a good find because they do seem to mean what they say, and when that saying is "I love you"... well, that is important.
You just described an Asperger's to a T.