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61 - 80 of 94 Comments Last updated Wednesday Aug 20
poovaloop

Tyngsboro, MA

#64 May 3, 2012
Madge wrote:
I've been married to an engineer for almost three decades. You have to listen carefully to their detailed discussions, and you have to support their every endeavour - but you can create your own life (even thought they want you consistently immersed in their routine and efforts). I've always worked FT but I also volunteered for all of his activities - it was expected. Engineers can be demanding. My fellow is prone to overwork and I used to worry - I've learned to back off. Ultimately an engineer is a good find because they do seem to mean what they say, and when that saying is "I love you"... well, that is important.
Proves my point.

You just described an Asperger's to a T.
Ask and aspire

Los Angeles, CA

#65 May 11, 2012
By virtue of all of your comments, I am a textbook engineer. I am Aspergers (high function) have an intellectual iq over 183, have a social iq of 82 and a reverse engineer by hardwiring. Let me break some of these misconceptions down. Social situations for me are extremely difficult, but I am not unfeeling or uncaring, just need to learn them reading social cues can be tough, and some fly under the radar--imagine what it is like to be us at a party. Many tell a joke and we say "wot?" we tell a joke and burst out laughing while you all say we are too dry.. This is our struggle, our cross to bear. We may not be regilious, but can appreciate any religion or culture or language on the planet. We love solving puzzles, and will not rest until problems are solved. I am just saying,vthere is treasure here. We have a sense of egocentricism, but are still in a conte operations stage, functionally and socially, so we might not mean to be. I think many engineers try hard to find romance, but rather than a neurotypical trying to force us into their shoes, why not allow us to be ourselves and you will find a balance, groundi, and treasured gem you never thought you find.
Civilengineering is fun

Satellite Provider

#66 May 14, 2012
I'm an engineer i have some non tech friends too..... But most of the time i dont know wat to talk to them and its really akward
My Experience Dating Eng

Berthoud, CO

#67 May 18, 2012
I've dated engineers. A bunch of them. The ones I've dated don't really work for long term relationships. I came to realize that they'd never had a relationship that lasted longer than a few months. This has just been my experience. The ones I've dated don't want their routines upset, they're rigid, they don't seem to have any depth of feeling, they run from conflict, and they can't really communicate. They're pretty selfish, and all about them. They don't see how what they do affects you, only how it affects them. That's just been my experience. It's too bad, because I had feelings for them, but they didn't appreciate the love that was being offered. It was too much work. The first engineer I dated was not like that. He was loving, nurturing, and loyal. The deal breaker with him was he was jealous and possessive. And I'm not a gold digger. I just wanted to love someone, and to have that person love me back.
robin c

United States

#68 Jul 7, 2012
My husband is an engineer with a very high IQ (according to his mother). However I think my life would be easier if he had a little elss IQ and some basic common sense. I have never met anyone with such poor judgement who wasn't mentally impaired in some way. Trust me when I say---do yourself a favor and live together first to see if you have the patience to deal with someone completely devoid of common sense.
poovaloop

Tyngsboro, MA

#69 Aug 4, 2012
robin c wrote:
My husband is an engineer with a very high IQ (according to his mother).
LMFAO!!!

Since: Jun 12

Brewster, NY

#70 Aug 4, 2012
I think more people should date engineers.

It would be good to have more engineers & less illogical simpletons in our society.

Engineers are heroes!

People always say thank our heroes in the Army, Police, Fireman.

Where is the thanks for our Engineers as heroes?

The Army, Police & Fireman completely depend upon engineered technology to do what they do & so does almost every other aspect to our society.

Engineers are the greatest heroes!

Since: Jun 12

Brewster, NY

#71 Aug 4, 2012
Ask and aspire wrote:
By virtue of all of your comments, I am a textbook engineer. I am Aspergers (high function) have an intellectual iq over 183, have a social iq of 82 and a reverse engineer by hardwiring. Let me break some of these misconceptions down. Social situations for me are extremely difficult, but I am not unfeeling or uncaring, just need to learn them reading social cues can be tough, and some fly under the radar--imagine what it is like to be us at a party. Many tell a joke and we say "wot?" we tell a joke and burst out laughing while you all say we are too dry.. This is our struggle, our cross to bear. We may not be regilious, but can appreciate any religion or culture or language on the planet. We love solving puzzles, and will not rest until problems are solved. I am just saying,vthere is treasure here. We have a sense of egocentricism, but are still in a conte operations stage, functionally and socially, so we might not mean to be. I think many engineers try hard to find romance, but rather than a neurotypical trying to force us into their shoes, why not allow us to be ourselves and you will find a balance, groundi, and treasured gem you never thought you find.
I actually find people who aren't so good with social cues are generally more moral & cause less problems.

A lot of very sociable people are generally bad people.

They maybe very sociable but a lot of them are just as likely to cause problems out of their sociability.

A lot of very sociable people seem far more likely to go to jail than people with more asperger tendencies.

Bars are filled with very sociable people who are often very bad people.
Generally the more sociable they are the worse they are as people.

I actually find often times very sociable people can be more selfish actually.

They are more manipulative & manipulate people for their benefit & selfishness.

A lot of very sociable people are needy. They lack intellectual stimulation.
So they are dependent on others to get this sort of stimulation.

Gangsters, Politicians, CEO's are almost always sociable & are often times horrible people.

Their social needs sometimes drives them to get excessive "greed" to impress others.

Gangsters are typically very sociable people who become gangsters to get greed to impress other people.
Thomas

Johannesburg, South Africa

#72 Aug 6, 2012
andet1987 wrote:
from the word engine, machine, not human, no heart.
Actually, "Engineer" stems from the Latin word "Ingenium", which directly translated means "cleverness".

Implying, even as a joke, that it stems from "Engine", makes you a TOOL. Metaphorically speaking... Not human, cold, stupid, etc.
poovaloop

Tyngsboro, MA

#73 Aug 11, 2012
HugeKielbasa wrote:
The Army, Police & Fireman completely depend upon engineered technology to do what they do & so does almost every other aspect to our society.
Engineers are the greatest heroes!
Well said,... and, uh, that kinda makes we want to jump on your huge kielbasa.
Natalie

New Delhi, India

#74 Aug 27, 2012
Well, ur all wrong...My engineer boyfriend is the most cutest thing ever.
He is into mechanical engineering, which makes him really physically active...he works out a lot and is TOTAL HUNK!

He's really sweet and understanding.
I have a lot of mood-swings, so, whenever he notices it, he's like..what can I do to entertain you..and he's super-romantic.

Please get ur perception correct.
It depends on the human ur dating, not the label of being an engineer....
btw, I'm an Economics graduate :-)

Hope that helps!!
Anonymous

Minneapolis, MN

#75 Nov 25, 2012
Raleighwood wrote:
I disagree! Engineers are affectionate and wonderful! My boyfriend's frugal, but I am too so its a good match. He's a total sweetheart to his pets, and not emotionless at all. That said, engineers do have their quirks, and maybe that's why this post cropped up. I've never known anyone who has to have a routine like my guy does. He has his own carefully defined structure, which puzzles me sometimes. For example, he's into things being clean, but he feeds his cats on the countertops where they spread kitty litter and flea droppings where we prepare food! I point out that filth is worse than a few books and magazines, and I'm the one whose backwards! Arggg. Engineers are also incapable of giving straight yes or no answers. This is a source of constant frustration for me in my relationship, because I'm a direct person. If you ask you engineer a yes or no question about something he hasn't thought about that day, like, "Would you like to have dinner with me around 7pm?", it really throws him off because he didn't put it in his routine for the day! A simple question. I told my mom about this once, and she was the one who pointed out the yes or no thing out. As a nurse, she asks patients simple questions all the time. She said she's gotten to the point she can pick out which ones are engineers in less than 5 minutes into the consultation based on the way they answer her. We decided to test this theory on my guy. Here is a verbatim transcript:
Mom: Would you like to have dinner with us tonight?
Engineer: I haven't really thought about it.
Mom: Well, it would be around 6, and we'd be having green beans, and mahi, etc.
Engineer: I'll have to see. I'll think about it.
My mom turned and gave me a secret smile when she was finished. It made me feel better. I love him, but man, it gets old doing this 10 times a day! This can also be a source of amusement when he is confronted by salespeople in public : D Engineers also justify everything when questioned, and they'll keep going no matter how illogical their answers get. It's frustrating, but he's a good guy so I try to stick it out.
Thank you... this made me feel a lot better. I have a really hard time knowing whether my engineer-boyfriend honestly cares about me sometimes because this all sounds very familiar. Whereas I'm the hopeless romantic who tosses routines out the window for a romantic evening, he prefers to stick to his routines. And the "no clearcut answer" thing? Yeah, that drives me nuts. I care about him a lot, but it remains to be seen whether I can truly get used to all of this. He does try to show me he cares, but his style is just really different from mine. We communicate affection very differently. As you say, he is a great guy, so I try to stick it out... Hopefully I can learn to recognize those affectionate modes of communication in time.
MECHENGR

United States

#76 Apr 4, 2013
[QUOTE who="Sage Engineer"Your engineer boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair, and even if he does, he is too dumb to lie to you about that. Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend that you will ever find rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and please you, has no time for affairs and too much confused to lie to you.[/QUOTE]

All too true, sports fans. We engineers love our spouses and mistresses equally cuz when we aren't spending time with one they are pissed off thinking we are spending time with the other, allowing us to spend some quality time in the shop or office! The other woman is our job, boat, car, airplane, or whatever else we happen to be consumed with at the time!!
gareth

Swansea, UK

#77 Jun 25, 2013
I am an engineer, I paint and I love my girlfriend. People can be emotionally detached regardless of their profession.
Be more open minded and try not to stereotype people. Its pathetic.
Meeee

Flower Mound, TX

#78 Aug 26, 2013
Oh, now engineers are good people. The social skills me be a bit atrophied, but the average engineer will fall all over himself to please someone he loves. He may stutter a bit, he may have problems vocalizing what he feels. But he'll go all out for someone he loves, even if he is a bit awkward in doing so.
Most engineers are incredibly kind. Golden hearts, willing to help anyone.
We may lack social skills. But we also pride ourselves in doing good.
Meeee

Flower Mound, TX

#79 Aug 26, 2013
Anonymous wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you... this made me feel a lot better. I have a really hard time knowing whether my engineer-boyfriend honestly cares about me sometimes because this all sounds very familiar. Whereas I'm the hopeless romantic who tosses routines out the window for a romantic evening, he prefers to stick to his routines. And the "no clearcut answer" thing? Yeah, that drives me nuts. I care about him a lot, but it remains to be seen whether I can truly get used to all of this. He does try to show me he cares, but his style is just really different from mine. We communicate affection very differently. As you say, he is a great guy, so I try to stick it out... Hopefully I can learn to recognize those affectionate modes of communication in time.
***
Ok. You have realize. Engineers are dorks. We have a tin ear when it comes to social skills. If you want/need him to do something, TELL HIM!!! Be very explicit. Be very detailed. But butter him up first. Pay a little attention to him. Compliment him. Smile at him. His heart will melt, and he'll be putty in your hands.

Good luck!
prince singh

Mumbai, India

#80 Sep 1, 2013
thats not fare
natalie

Makati, Philippines

#81 Sep 29, 2013
i date engineer guy for 10 month. at the 1st 3 month it was crazy, heartless dork!! but after he feel comfortable and trusting me, he's become the sweetest and caring boyfriend ever, and the smartness. sometimes i have no idea what he talked about. hes a industrial engineer and im from mass media communication. kind of hard though to equate our perspective. i like to party, dressing up, make-up, meet a new people and talking shit. but, i earn more than him, may be because of that he never look down at me.
Lisa

Stanwood, WA

#82 Dec 27, 2013
I always said I'd never date an engineer because of the whole logic>love deal, but my boyfriend is an engineer and he's like the exception. He's freakishly logical and the biggest Type A personality I've ever met(not saying all engineers are Type A, it just really benefits him as an engineer.), yet he's the most passionate person I've ever met, so it works out. Yet he's still an engineering major, so he has no life. I tend to find this to be the biggest universal drawback to dating an engineer. He always says "If an engineering student says they have free time, he's lying to you." Seriously the only time we spend together is at meals and study time in the evenings and weekend dates. I live for my Friday nights and Saturdays. It doesn't bother me because he's the most ambitious person I've ever met, but dating an engineering student is rough and not for everyone. My friends talk about their week day dates, and I generally just have study dates, which usually mean we sit side by side doing nothing but homework (romantic, I know -_-), and life slightly revolves around his different engineering projects and exams, but I wouldn't trade it for any other boyfriend. I'd rather have someone brilliant and dedicated. Also, if you date an engineer, they know how to be dedicate and devoted because they put all that time into being a successful engineering student. Boy, is life fun when the semester is over and that focus transfers to you. ;) Engineers are definitely worth it if you find the right one.
blazeblinkster

Bellville, South Africa

#83 Jan 6, 2014
I'm an engineer. My ex and my current boyfriend are both engineers. With my ex the relationship was cold and emotionless, he was far too strategic and worked constantly, I felt like he cared more for his work than for me. He also had to think about everything before giving an answer, it annoyed the hell out of me and I was very unhappy.

My current boyfriend is completely the opposite, even though his mind is intricate and beautiful, he puts our relationship first and puts effort in trying to express his emotions. He is very loving and I'm so inlove every single day. With him I can play intense mind games, or work or just have fun and be in love. It's absolutely perfect.

It really comes down to the type of person and not his career choice. Thinking rationally can be applied to a relationship, for example: He would rather say things like 'you mean more to me than making a point' when we get in a bit of an argument, this way he is being very time efficient because I won't be angry for hours.

If engineers solved relationship problems like they deal with industry problems life would be a lot simpler (and that applies for all non-engineering couples too).

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