Voyeur & Donkeys Joke Thread Free For...
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“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#149 Feb 28, 2011
Two women friends had gone for a girls' night out.

Both were very faithful and loving wives, however

They had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.



Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to Pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.



One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought

She would take off her panties and use them.



Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive

Pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.



She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave

That had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she

Proceeded to wipe with that.



After the girls did their business, they proceeded to Go home.



The next day, the husband of one of the women was concerned

That his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said:

"These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!"



"That's nothing," said the other husband,

"Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said.....



'From all of us at the Fire Station.

We'll never forget you.' "

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#150 Feb 28, 2011
Confucius Says:
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who run in
front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who run behind
car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man with one
chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who scratch butt
should not bite fingernails.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who eat many
prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~
Baseball is wrong:
man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~
War does not
determine who is right, war determine who is
left.
*~*~*~*~*~
Wife who put
husband in doghouse soon
find him in Cathouse.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who fight with
wife all day get no piece at night.
*~*~*~*~*~
It take many nails
to build crib,
but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who drive like
hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who live in
glass house should
change clothes in
Basement.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who fish in
other man's well
often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~
Crowded elevator
smell different
to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~

“TEXAS ... SECEDE”

Since: Feb 08

REPUBLIC OF TEXAS

#151 Feb 28, 2011
lol;)

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#152 Feb 28, 2011
Flower-Child wrote:
lol;)
That wasn't funny? Okay maybe it was, lol

_Virginia_

Since: Apr 10

Location hidden

#153 Feb 28, 2011
Voyeur wrote:
After several "beers," men will have sex with even unattractive women. Often men awaken with only hazy memories of the night before, a horrible headache, and a vague feeling that something bad happened.
Dang! I thought they liked me!
SuckPuppeteer

Puyallup, WA

#154 Feb 28, 2011
Ricky F wrote:
Confucius Says:
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who run in
front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who run behind
car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man with one
chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who scratch butt
should not bite fingernails.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who eat many
prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~
Baseball is wrong:
man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~
War does not
determine who is right, war determine who is
left.
*~*~*~*~*~
Wife who put
husband in doghouse soon
find him in Cathouse.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who fight with
wife all day get no piece at night.
*~*~*~*~*~
It take many nails
to build crib,
but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who drive like
hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who live in
glass house should
change clothes in
Basement.
*~*~*~*~*~
Man who fish in
other man's well
often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~
Crowded elevator
smell different
to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~
Confucius say:

Man with hand in pants
Feel cocky all day

_Virginia_

Since: Apr 10

Location hidden

#155 Mar 1, 2011
SuckPuppeteer wrote:
<quoted text>
Confucius say:
Man with hand in pants
Feel cocky all day
Confucius say:

Suck Puppeteers suck.

“MAY THE HOOKERING BE WITH YOU”

Since: Apr 11

AOL

#156 Jan 29, 2012
I LAUGH!

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#157 Feb 7, 2012
LMAO!
andet1987

Chicago, IL

#158 Feb 7, 2012
Ricky F wrote:
LMAO!
hi Ricky :)
bump

Nashville, TN

#160 Nov 9, 2012
anyone seen voyeur?

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#161 Nov 12, 2012
bump wrote:
anyone seen voyeur?
I think so...*I'll see if I can find him again?

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#163 Nov 12, 2012
bump wrote:
anyone seen voyeur?
Sorry I's been riding slow ass Donkey an I's not able get to library computer very much, you's come to see me? Oh thanks you! Donkey say hi to you's

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#164 Nov 19, 2012
SuckPuppeteer wrote:
<quoted text>
Confucius say:
Man with hand in pants
Feel cocky all day
I's always feel cocky

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#165 Mar 28, 2014
Beaware wrote:
<quoted text>
So are you saying Voyeur found his ass? LOL
It in same place as always right under him!

Donkey not think that very funny?

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#166 May 6, 2014

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#167 Jan 14, 2015
One day a hillbilly walks into a police station because he wants to get a job as a deputy, which he's wanted to be his whole life. So he goes over to the sheriff's desk and says to the sheriff,'I'm here to be a deputy.'

The sheriff laughs and says,'Well let's see if you're qualified, son. The sheriff asks him a question and the hillbilly gives him an answer. The sheriff says,'Close enough Hillbilly

The sheriff then asks him,'What are two days of the week that begin with 'T'?'
'Today and tomorrow,' says the hillbilly.

'Not what I was looking for but I'll give it to ya,' says the sheriff.

'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' the sheriff asks.
The hillbilly just stands there with a blank look on his face.

'Why don't you go home, think about it and come back tomorrow,' the sheriff says to the hillbilly.
So the hillbilly goes home and his wife says to him,'So sweetpea, did you get the job?'

'I think so, they've already put me on a murder case..

“..A little kingdom...”

Since: Aug 14

Location hidden

#168 Jan 14, 2015
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#169 Jan 26, 2015
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelrystore one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."

At that statement, The jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000" the jeweler said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."

"I know," said the old man, "But let me tell you about my weekend!

Don't mess with Old People.

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#172 Oct 6, 2016
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.

Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a ***** on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

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