“suck”

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#459 Jul 31, 2012
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
lol Sorry, junior, I'm not in the habit of trusting total strangers, and that includes you.
You're free to believe whatever you like, of course. Thankfully, I know that belief and fact aren't the same thing.
So you have those teen pregnancy facts, whats next? I know them, i know that this is a huge issue in western countries, but how can we prevent it? What your plan then, enlighten me please.

Like i said earlier, children i believe from very young age need to taught some values, real priorities and self respect, it's all about dignity and knowledge.
Ocean56

AOL

#460 Aug 1, 2012
shivawia wrote:
So you have those teen pregnancy facts, whats next? I know them, i know that this is a huge issue in western countries, but how can we prevent it? What your plan then, enlighten me please.
Like i said earlier, children i believe from very young age need to taught some values, real priorities and self respect, it's all about dignity and knowledge.
My plan has always been to EDUCATE girls about the hard REALITIES of motherhood, and what they will lose by becoming mothers while they are still in middle and high school. Too many girls get the mistaken idea that having a baby in school will solve all their problems, which is a huge mistake. Having a baby in school will only ADD to those problems, in a very big way.

Obviously I'm not educating girls about the hardships of motherhood the way YOU say it "should" be done. Well, doing things YOUR way isn't something I'm interested in doing.
Ocean56

AOL

#461 Aug 1, 2012
Here's another sad story of a woman who deeply regrets becoming a mother at all. IMO there are far too many stories just like it, chiefly because girls and young women AREN'T told all the facts about motherhood until they actually HAVE a baby. I think it's high time that changed, and that more girls know what the hardships are before they even think of getting pregnant.

**********

I Hate Motherhood!

http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/694465/I...

Original Post:

"Why is it that we are conned into thinking that motherhood is a blissful, satisfying, and rewarding blessing? I attend a mothers group for young mothers and the other day one of the social workers asked..."Who hates being a mom?" Everyone looked at each other as if they were afraid of the question and that admitting to it is a mortal sin. My hand shot up. After a year of being a mother I can't hate it more. It just prevents me being truly happy. I know some women out there have invested time and money into having a child and think its the most glorious and officious thing in the world. But I think that from little girls we are brain washed into thinking that being a mother is what our duty is. Its evident by the toys marketed towards girls: baby dolls that poop and pee with their carriages, little tiny kitchens, even vacuum and broom sets. JESUS!

Needless to say my pregnancy was unplanned and unwanted. I was 21, unmarried, and still in college with hopes of attending medical school. I dreaded being pregnant and the permanent scars it would leave on my already flawed body. I thought that once I had the baby I would love being a mother and a wife. The truth is I hate it. I couldn't love my child anymore, his smile touches a part of my heart that no one else can, but I don't like being his mother.

It is just a burden I don't want to deal with at this point of my life. The feeding, the changing, the constant neediness, which I know will perpetuate until the day I die. I decided to breastfeed him and still do and regret every day I decided to do this. It has been 14mo since he was born and I still have no ownership of my body. I have tried to ween him, but he become unbearable."

[End quote]

Click on the link above to read the entire post.

“suck”

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#462 Aug 2, 2012
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
My plan has always been to EDUCATE girls about the hard REALITIES of motherhood, and what they will lose by becoming mothers while they are still in middle and high school. Too many girls get the mistaken idea that having a baby in school will solve all their problems, which is a huge mistake. Having a baby in school will only ADD to those problems, in a very big way.
Obviously I'm not educating girls about the hardships of motherhood the way YOU say it "should" be done. Well, doing things YOUR way isn't something I'm interested in doing.
That plan of yours is nothing special, i also was pointing about something similar.

What about the ones that receive huge amounts of support? Obviously those young mothers don't get on streets. Its not like they are in filthy 3rd world country, we are talking about civilized nations like USA. I know its bad, but yet people care about them, parents, relatives and such. If they take care of the baby then sure this young mother can educate herself. Don't speak like you know the majority of teen moms out there, of course there are ones who lose everything because of the pregnancy. If people are serious about achieving something in their life, nothing will become an obstacle not even a pregnancy.

“suck”

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#463 Aug 2, 2012
Also. You want to educate girls yet they are exposed to the internet and its dark side capable of destroying ones healthy mind, yet you have stupid lame reality shows like 16 and pregnant which clearly shows that its ok to fall pregnant at such young age, your media is also hugely to blame for this issue, for early sexualisation of teens, the pressure is big. Educate girls? What about educating boys also?
Ocean56

AOL

#464 Aug 3, 2012
shivawia wrote:
That plan of yours is nothing special, i also was pointing about something similar.
What about the ones that receive huge amounts of support? Obviously those young mothers don't get on streets. Its not like they are in filthy 3rd world country, we are talking about civilized nations like USA. I know its bad, but yet people care about them, parents, relatives and such. If they take care of the baby then sure this young mother can educate herself. Don't speak like you know the majority of teen moms out there, of course there are ones who lose everything because of the pregnancy. If people are serious about achieving something in their life, nothing will become an obstacle not even a pregnancy.
Ah, so you seem to be another person who thinks teen pregnancy/motherhood "isn't so bad." We're never going to agree on that point. I think teen motherhood STINKS, even for the girls who really love their children and who, to use your words "receive huge amounts of support."

To me, being a mother anywhere from 14-19 stinks because a girl has lost her chance forever at being a FREE teenager, free to do pretty much whatever she chooses, including of course, concentrating on all her studies, getting good grades in school, and graduating both middle and high school. All of that becomes extremely difficult, if not impossible, when a girl brings a baby into the picture.

IF she is able to graduate high school, a girl turned teen mom will find it very difficult to attend college or get vocational training. The logistics of having to do all this while having to take care of a baby makes life very HARD for a teenager when it all could have been avoided.

So you can go on with this "it's not so bad" nonsense all you want, but you'll never convince me that such is the case. When a teenage girl gets pregnant and has a baby, she is forced to put her EDUCATION, the foundation for well-paying employment, second. When a girl cannot get a good education, she is forced to settle for low-income or even minimum-wage employment, which is usually not nearly enough to support herself and a baby. Babies are EXPENSIVE, which is something teenage girls also don't realize, until after they get pregnant. By then, of course, it is too late.
Ocean56

AOL

#465 Aug 3, 2012
shivawia wrote:
Also. You want to educate girls yet they are exposed to the internet and its dark side capable of destroying ones healthy mind, yet you have stupid lame reality shows like 16 and pregnant which clearly shows that its ok to fall pregnant at such young age, your media is also hugely to blame for this issue, for early sexualisation of teens, the pressure is big. Educate girls? What about educating boys also?
I use the "16 and Pregnant" show to illustrate how HARD it is for the 16-year-old girl who GETS pregnant, and why it is very wise for teen girls to say a very loud NO to any guy who pressures her for sex. I don't recall ever saying that "it is okay" for girls to get pregnant.

Oh, and both girls AND guys to watch "16 and Pregnant," by the way. There's no gender restriction on it. It's a good idea for guys to watch as well, though, thanks for bringing that up. A guy who gets a girl pregnant will lose a lot of HIS freedom too, although not as much as the girl who has the 24/7/365 job of taking care of the baby.

“suck”

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#466 Aug 3, 2012
You see, there is no point arguing with someone who always sees his opinions right and others wrong. You are acting like a child. I believe you should try respect other people.
Ocean56

AOL

#467 Aug 4, 2012
shivawia wrote:
You see, there is no point arguing with someone who always sees his opinions right and others wrong. You are acting like a child. I believe you should try respect other people.
Fine, you have a right to believe whatever you like. It makes no difference to me. You were trying to convince me that teen pregnancy and motherhood "isn't so bad" and I just explained why you will never succeed in that effort. Sorry (not really) to disappoint you.

I'm for girls keeping all their freedom to BE teenagers, and that doesn't happen when a girl gets pregnant and has a baby. When a girl has a baby, all her freedom is GONE, for a very long time, and she will never get those lost teenage years back. All her chances for a good education may be gone as well.
Lyndi

Sarasota, FL

#468 Aug 4, 2012
shivawia wrote:
You see, there is no point arguing with someone who always sees his opinions right and others wrong. You are acting like a child. I believe you should try respect other people.
Like you coming onto a thread calling her an "idiot," a "sad lunatic" and tell her she's wasting her time? You mean THAT kind of respect?
Get a clue, kid.
You ain't no picnic and haven't earned any respect.

You don't want to gain any information. You didn't come on here to have a pleasant exchange of ideas and thoughts.
You wanted to stir up shi#.
Congratulations.
You successfully stirred up shi#.
Now, SIT in it.
Lyndi

Sarasota, FL

#469 Aug 4, 2012
Medical Risks
According to the National Institutes of Health, teens are at a higher risk for developing medical complications during pregnancy than pregnant females older than 20. Infants born to teens are also at a higher medical risk for low birth weight, prematurity and inadequate fetal growth. The Mayo Clinic indicates that pregnant teens are at higher risk due to a lack of knowledge about the kind of prenatal care required for healthy pregnancy. Teens are also more likely to be unaware of the health risks associated with substance use or unprotected sex. Pre-eclampsia, a condition in which the pregnant mother experiences dangerously high blood pressure, and high protein in the urine related to poor diet are common complications in first pregnancies. Pre-eclampsia may result in early delivery of the baby due to the risk of harm or potential death to the mother or baby.
==
Emotional and Psychological Risks
Adolescence is naturally a time of emotional turmoil in the development process. In addition to the normal trials of development, a teenage pregnancy may add emotional stress. The Mayo Clinic recognizes that pregnancy may often result in the teen feeling alienated from peers due to decreased likelihood of graduating with her high school class, increased potential for poverty due to lack of stable employment, and depression. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry further indicates that pregnant teens often have conflicting emotional reactions related to not wanting the baby, having unrealistic expectations about motherhood, or being overwhelmed by anxiety and fear of a future with a baby. The emotional turmoil may negatively impact the pregnancy causing undue stress. It could also potentially lead the teen mother to neglect her child.
==

Social Risks
Pregnant teens may be challenged with choices about the future and often there is a social cost to these choices. Teen moms often drop out of high school to raise their child; without a proper education, however, financial stability is unlikely. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy indicates that society pays the cost for teen pregnancy, especially in regard to the required public health care for pre- and post-natal medical follow up. If the teen is not fortunate enough to have a solid support system, the stress of financial instability and lack of peer support may lead to additional barriers in teen parenting success.
Lyndi

Sarasota, FL

#470 Aug 4, 2012
http://www.childwelfare.gov/can/factors/paren...

Teen Parenting
Some studies of physical abuse, in particular, reveal that teenage mothers exhibit higher rates of child abuse than older mothers do. Other factors such as lower economic status, lack of social support, and high stress levels contribute to the link between young parents and child abuse. Resources include State and local examples.

Journal of Aggression Maltreatment and Trauma, 14(3), 2007

Physical Abuse of Children Born to Adolescent Mothers

Examines teen mothers and their relationships with the child welfare system after they enter adulthood to determine if their children are still at a greater risk of child maltreatment than children who are not born to teen mothers. Results support the hypothesis that children of teen mothers are more likely to experience child abuse and neglect.

The Potential for Child Neglect: The Case of Adolescent Mothers and Their Children

Child Maltreatment

Assesses 100 teen-mother–child to determine causes for child maltreatment. Results show that histories of maternal neglect and the quality of interactions between mother and child were indicators of neglect during middle childhood.

State and local examples
Consequences of Teen Childbearing for Child Abuse, Neglect and Foster Care Placement

In Kids Having Kids: Economic Costs and Social Consequences of Teen Pregnancy

Compares literature on teen childbearing with maltreatment. Data from Illinois indicated that early childbearing resulted in more substantiated reports to child welfare agencies and having children in the foster care system for longer periods of time.

Is My Baby Safe?: Straight Talk to Teen Parents on Child Abuse
Public Counsel Law Center (2008)
Provides information for teen parents on what could cause them to harm their child. The brochure includes a definition of child abuse and neglect, mandating reporting, and the investigation procedure for Los Angeles County, California.

Teenage Births: Outcomes for Young Parents
Schuyler Center for Analysis and Advocacy (2008)
Provides information on data from New York on teen births and negative outcomes for children of teen parents. Results include higher rates of child abuse and neglect.
==========

Teen parenting is a BAD idea.
Ocean56

AOL

#471 Aug 5, 2012
Lyndi wrote:
Like you coming onto a thread calling her an "idiot," a "sad lunatic" and tell her she's wasting her time? You mean THAT kind of respect?
Get a clue, kid.
You ain't no picnic and haven't earned any respect.
You don't want to gain any information. You didn't come on here to have a pleasant exchange of ideas and thoughts.
You wanted to stir up shi#.
Congratulations.
You successfully stirred up shi#.
Now, SIT in it.
Exactly, Lyndi! Funny how some folks start insulting a poster as soon as it becomes clear the poster isn't going to back down.:-)

good wife

San Antonio, TX

#472 Aug 5, 2012
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
Exactly, Lyndi! Funny how some folks start insulting a poster as soon as it becomes clear the poster isn't going to back down.:-)
Exactly, Ocean, old girl. Funny how you just described what you seem to do to posters that don't agree with you.:-)
Ocean56

AOL

#473 Aug 6, 2012
Here's an easy way for a teen girl to remember why it's in their best interests to say NO to any guy who pressures her for sex. It's just four quick words, followed by four quick phrases.

Sex--->pregnancy--->baby --->TRAP

No sex, no pregnancy, no baby...NO TRAP.

Ocean56

AOL

#474 Aug 7, 2012
Another good reason for girls to say NO to any guy who pressures them for sex is:

Babies are EXPENSIVE. And any girl or guy under 18 who hasn't graduated high school will find it very hard, if not impossible, to get a well-paying job.
Ocean56

AOL

#475 Aug 7, 2012
More excellent statements from http://www.nobaby.org/

"No way, no how, no baby."

"I make ALL the rules. ALL of 'em."

"My girls know what's up. We stick together."

"My future deserves protection."
Ocean56

AOL

#476 Aug 8, 2012
Something else for girls to think about:

A girl who enjoys the benefits of being sexFREE (meaning free FROM sex) will be free to do everything she needs to as a high school student, and free to have fun outside school as well.

- She DOESN'T have to worry about paying for diapers and formula.

- She DOESN'T have to watch or hear about her friends having fun without her.

- She DOESN'T have to miss out on things like prom, graduation, college, and her dream career.

- She doesn't have to miss out on anything because she DIDN'T have sex and therefore she didn't get pregnant.

Given the choice between being sexFREE and being pregnant, I'd say the decision for any teen girl is an easy one. It certainly was an easy one for ME when I was a teenager. I enjoyed all the benefits of being sexFREE, which meant keeping all my freedom too, during high school and after graduation.

No sex, no pregnancy, no baby = FREEDOM.
Ocean56

AOL

#477 Aug 9, 2012
Lyndi wrote:
Girls need to THINK SEX THROUGH. Think past the moment before you are IN the moment.

- Think about how you'll feel losing your virginity.
- Think about missing your period.
- Think about having to tell your parents that YOU ARE PREGNANT.
- Think about having to give away a baby so you can go on with your plans.
- Think about giving birth.
- Think about having an abortion
- Think about putting your plans on hold maybe forever.
- Think about how much it will cost ($100,000 or more)
- Think about what you'll be giving up (FREEDOM)
- Think about colic (anywhere from 1 to 6 months of it)
- Think about trading in your cute teenage outfits for dumpy maternity clothes
- Think about painful, drippy breasts
- Think about a child with a disability
- Think about changing lots of stinky diapers, day AND night.
- Think about losing lots of sleep
- Think about "What if he leaves me."

Ocean56 added:
- Think about getting a HUGE belly and gaining a lot of weight
- Think about morning sickness, anywhere from 1 to possibly 6 months of it
- Think about suffering through painful hours (possibly days) of labor
- Think about getting almost no sleep at night after bringing the baby home
- Think about a baby possibly vomiting all over you (that happened to me more than once when DS was an infant)
- Think about listening to a crying, screaming baby instead of being out having fun with your friends
- Think about missing out on prom, graduation, college and dream career
- Think about the next 18 years of GIVING THINGS UP

The more girls THINK about the very real hardships of motherhood before having sex in the first place, they might be far LESS likely to take the risk of having sex and possibly ending up pregnant.
Ocean56

AOL

#478 Aug 14, 2012
Here's another thought; girls who spend time learning and doing an enjoyable craft or career-building skill for the future may find it much easier to say NO to any guy who pressures them for sex.

I know if I were a teenage girl again, I would much rather make bracelets than babies.:-)

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