i think that my husband is a pervert

“It is what it is”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#25 Jan 2, 2009
dizzyblonde wrote:
tell me what you think
he is addicted to porn on the net...he talks to other women and he thinks that is ok....i think that he needs to go to porn-anonymous..if there is such a thing...he gets all of these ideas and for the last 4 years has wanted to join swing clubs, have threesomes and foursomes, outrageous things that i will not do...wants to look in neighbors windows, it goes on and on. i hate him
Honey, you know the answer, and you know what to do. If your daughter, sister, neice or best girl friend ccame to you for advice , what would you advise them to do??? My grandmother once said " Anything that you are not born with, you don't need" True she had 4 husbands but, life is too short to be miserable with a man you don't trust, like or respect.
lwsciencejunkie

Lakebay, WA

#26 Jan 2, 2009
Mike wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm thinking that she lost her common sense along the way. What good is offering some elaborate advice? Maybe when she catches him humping the family dog she'll reevaluate the pros and cons of their relationship.
In domestic abuse (that's what this is) things don't start out full-blown. Its a "frog in boiling water" sort of situation. As the relationship deteriorates, an abused partner will try to adjust, try to "understand" and accommodate. This rewards the abusers behavior, and the behavior will escalate. This happens over time, and as time passes the victim loses her self-confidence and sense of perspective. She begins to doubt herself more and more. When the relationship with her husband was new, she would have known instantly that he was far from OK and would have run screaming. Now, she not only has been subjected to the situation to where she's lost her self-worth and her perspective, she is also feeling trapped by financial and family issues.
What happens in DV is that once the victim has finally left the situation for good and is making a new life for herself, she can't believe that she was so unsure of herself back when she was in the abusive relationship.

“WTF?”

Since: May 08

Leftists ruined my oatmeal!

#27 Jan 2, 2009
dizzyblonde wrote:
tell me what you think
he is addicted to porn on the net...he talks to other women and he thinks that is ok....i think that he needs to go to porn-anonymous..if there is such a thing...he gets all of these ideas and for the last 4 years has wanted to join swing clubs, have threesomes and foursomes, outrageous things that i will not do...wants to look in neighbors windows, it goes on and on. i hate him
Whether or not he is a perv is subject to UR personal interpretation.

What U call a perv, we here in beautifull Hammond Indiana call 'cheating on you',or outright infidelity.
lwsciencejunkie

Lakebay, WA

#28 Jan 2, 2009
Bob wrote:
<quoted text>
Troll alert
...huh?
Info

United States

#29 Jan 2, 2009
that old boy is sicker than a hydryphobic dog. get rid of him if you don't likehis ways. He is probably cheating on you also. how about the kids if you have any,kick him on down the road. Spends more on porno than food and housing.
Info

United States

#30 Jan 2, 2009
probably chasing prostitutes also to. has he also given you a STD dease also.
Chipmunk

Anchorage, AK

#31 Jan 2, 2009
Let's say she doesn't have any children, she doesn't have any sisters or a mother, maybe she has a mortgage, she is a married woman. With responsibilities to her community and husband. lwsciencejunkie has a good idea take his and you're, money and run with you're sanity. Leave him unable to afford the help he needs. Rich people can afford their problems. Everyone saying STD, but if you are not interested in sex or maybe never have been. You may not be aware of the horrible diseases there are. How old are you? 14?
Obama 08

Kahuku, HI

#32 Jan 2, 2009
NiftyWitch wrote:
<quoted text>
How do you make the leap of logic that she's trying to be controlling??
Because she got upset that he was even talking to other women at all.
raerae

Redmond, WA

#33 Jan 2, 2009
Depends on what kind of "talking" doesn't it.... I'd say it was the wrong kind going by his track record.

Are you the type that thinks you should be able to flirt with everybody? Are you married?
Chipmunk

Anchorage, AK

#34 Jan 2, 2009
Obama 08

Kahuku, HI

#35 Jan 2, 2009
raerae wrote:
Depends on what kind of "talking" doesn't it.... I'd say it was the wrong kind going by his track record.
Are you the type that thinks you should be able to flirt with everybody? Are you married?
She didn't say flirting. She said talking. That's a classic jealousy/control issue.
raerae

Redmond, WA

#36 Jan 2, 2009
I know she said talking...... but some people say "talking" in place of flirting.

Since: Jul 07

Lake Forest, CA

#37 Jan 2, 2009
lwsciencejunkie wrote:
<quoted text>
You have it backwards. FIRST comes the deviancy and THEN comes the porn.
What "sexual addiction" actually is, if there even is such a thing, let alone how to treat it is a huge mystery to the psychiatric community.
I don't think ANYONE should be obliged to live under such conditions in the hope that the deviant partner has a "problem" and needs "help".
The husband is, for whatever reason, a cruel, selfish, controlling individual that is not likely to change, or even see any need for change.
The husband is dangerous, and not worth wasting another tear over. She needs to take what legal control she can of finances and kids (if any) so that she can get the hell away from him as soon as possible.
I disagree as a man. See we all like sex and we all like porn. Deviancy comes from being aroused by more abnormal forms of sexual behavior, which (if it is a new development) usually happens after being overexposed to pornography. What I think is happening is the man is becoming so obsessed with porno that he's actually losing touch with reality and letting this media create false conceptions of what is acceptable.

I myself have gone through certain phases with different forms of media that cause me to think differently and have changed my view of reality. Thank God I've never seen porno as that entertaining. But I think anyone who has obsessively watched some form of media has seen the effects it has on their thought process. I think that is the point here, if the man is filling his mind with 4 hours of porno a day it's gonna completely fuck up his view of acceptable sexual situations.

I had an old friend who recycled scrap metal, he'd always say "garbage in, garbage out."
Gigi

Colorado Springs, CO

#38 Jan 3, 2009
dizzyblonde wrote:
tell me what you think
he is addicted to porn on the net...he talks to other women and he thinks that is ok....i think that he needs to go to porn-anonymous..if there is such a thing...he gets all of these ideas and for the last 4 years has wanted to join swing clubs, have threesomes and foursomes, outrageous things that i will not do...wants to look in neighbors windows, it goes on and on. i hate him
There is something terribly selfish and sick about a man who prefers deviant sexual images over the love of his own wife. The sooner you accept the fact that your husband is unable to attach emotionally to anyone (not just you), and probably will not ever desire normal sex again, the better off you’ll be.

If you are not employed, get a job ASAP! If you have children, see an attorney before leaving regarding custody. The morning you leave, be at the bank when the doors open and empty all of your joint accounts. As long as it is a joint account, there isn’t a darn thing he can do about it. Be sure the bank account is as large as possible. In other words, time the withdrawal for maximum funds. Don’t empty the account the day before a major check is deposited or the day after major bills are paid. DON’T TELL ANYONE WHAT YOU ARE DOING OR WHY YOU ARE DOING IT UNTIL YOU HAVE ACTUALLY LEFT.
Sugg

Seaside, CA

#39 Jan 3, 2009
Are you serious?
Bugg

United States

#40 Jan 3, 2009
Are you?

“WOOH!!”

Since: May 08

Vallejo, CA

#41 Jan 3, 2009
Obama 08 wrote:
<quoted text>
Because she got upset that he was even talking to other women at all.
She mentioned him talking to other women in the context of his sexual behavior. I don't mind my husband talking to other women online; it's normal for people to have friends of the opposite sex. But if I caught him having cybersex, I'd hand him his balls on a platter.

“i am stressed out”

Since: Jan 09

kenton

#43 Jan 3, 2009
lwsciencejunkie wrote:
<quoted text>
Get out. Yesterday.
Nothing is worth staying in the situation you're in. He is probably dangerous, not just a "pervert". Looking through windows is "voyeurism", and is a sex offense. If he is caught, you will be both humiliated and the legal costs will burden you.
You also run the risk of STDs, and any minor girls that live in your household are at risk.
Everything you describe could be a part of the case histories of men who are finally caught and prosecuted as sex offenders.
Get out.
he is having cybersex and i am out of there, he is living with my next door neighbor, which i am sure he looked in her windows, he always bugged me to do it with him, even to the woman that lived there before the current one, one time he wanted to get into her house. i did put software on our computer to watch him and when i left i took the harddrive, it is getting put onto a cd for me right now. the neighbor is a doctor at my doctors office, to make things worse she got into my personal information with my doctor and started threatening me to stay away from the office, i had 2 meetings with the office manager that got me no where, my hippa was violated and i don't know where to report her behavior, she is in her residency, she has my dog, my furniture, and the list goes on, then she has the nerve to call and tell me to leave her out of our divorce, i have a big folder of internet stuff i am sending her today, i bet that bursts her bubble.
i do not want him back he's not all that and i hope that his parents enjoy the reading material that i send them, he plays with himself all of the time. i don't know how many times i came home from work to see him naked in front of the computer.. it made me sick....

“i am stressed out”

Since: Jan 09

kenton

#44 Jan 3, 2009
Cio wrote:
Too bad! she thinks her husband is pervert, or the other way around *Chuckles*
i am not the pervert here..this isn't funny, i wouldn't wish this on anyone

“i am stressed out”

Since: Jan 09

kenton

#45 Jan 3, 2009
Obama 08 wrote:
<quoted text>
You both have issues. He wants out of monogamy, and you want to control him.
i definitely don't want to control him, he is a mommas boy and there aint no controlling them, i think he would like to be married to his mom

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Top Stories Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
The Christian Atheist debate (Jun '15) 15 min Bongo 104,910
News Roman Catholic church only true church, says Va... (Jul '07) 21 min kent 673,430
News Michael Jackson broke down racial barriers (Jun '09) 1 hr Spotted Wee 1,563
Why I’m no longer a Christian (Jul '08) 2 hr Peter Ross 445,807
crystal bottoms former charm on SouthernCharms (Sep '09) 5 hr Ann 36
How old is "old enough" for sex? (Jun '15) 6 hr Breadcrumb Trail 29
Bush is a hero (Sep '07) 9 hr bad bob 184,629
Prove there's a god. (Mar '08) 9 hr nanoanomaly 981,409
More from around the web