Ocean56

AOL

#41697 Apr 25, 2013
Too many girls/women are PRESSURED into having children by family members and/or religious community, and purposely aren't told just how very HARD motherhood is until AFTER they have had a baby. I think it is high time that changed. Some of the hardships mothers of all ages will face once a baby arrives include -- but are not limited to -- the following:

HARDSHIP #1: LOSS OF FREEDOM - Having a baby really does change everything, including the freedom that girls and women used to have in abundance. Once the baby arrives, that freedom will be gone, for at least the next five or six years and possibly longer. Teen girls and young women who become moms can forget about going out with friends, whether to the movies, to hang out at their favorite restaurant or coffee shop, or anywhere else for that matter. If they do go out, they’ll have to take the baby with them if their parents refuse to babysit. If the baby is sick or very cranky for any number of reasons, girls will end up staying home instead of going out. Girls who are still in middle or high school will find it much harder to do their homework assignments or study for exams when they have to care for a baby as well. It will be a very long time before women/girls get any of their former freedom back.

HARDSHIP #2: LOSS OF SLEEP - The first thing girls and women have to know about motherhood is that newborn babies do NOT sleep eight hours a night. All mothers, myself included, can honestly say that babies can – and do – wake up during the night as many as two or three times. Each time the baby wakes up, mom has to get up with the baby, feed the baby, change the baby’s diaper (which could be a messy one), and then get the baby back to sleep. When my son was a newborn baby, there were nights where I got NO sleep whatsoever. Luckily for me, I had completed high school and post-high school education long before that, so I didn’t have to get up at 5:00am to go to school after having almost no sleep. Those who are teen moms will not be so lucky.

HARDSHIP #3: LOSS OF MONEY - Whatever money a girl/woman used to spend on herself will have to be spent on the baby, and that cost is far more than most girls could begin to anticipate. These costs include diapers, food, clothing, baby equipment (car seat, crib, stroller, baby carriers, baby and child toys, etc.) and so much more. Anyone who wants to do the math can begin their research now, by going to their local grocery store and checking out the baby food and diaper sections. Just make sure you have a notebook and calculator, because you will need to multiply those costs for each item several times per week. That’s just for food and diapers, you haven’t even started on the costs for clothing, baby equipment and toys. That will add a staggering amount to your calculations, and the sum will be far higher than you could imagine. If you plan to put the baby in day care for any amount of time during the week, you will have to add up those costs too. Get the picture now? Having a baby costs a HUGE amount of money, which many girls and young women simply do not have, unless they have wealthy parents.

(Continued in next post)
Ocean56

AOL

#41698 Apr 25, 2013
HARDSHIP #4: LOSS OF EDUCATION AND JOB/CAREER OPPORTUNITIES – As hard as it is to acknowledge, a working mother of any age cannot have the same kind of freedom, flexibility or mobility as a woman without children has. If a girl cannot complete high school due to the demands of motherhood, she will not be able to go to college or vocational school, as both typically require a high school diploma first. That automatically limits her ability to find good employment, and she may well have to settle for a minimum wage job, which pays far less than what is needed to raise a child comfortably. Girls and women who complete high school may find that many jobs require a college degree or vocational school certificate, and without those, she may still not be able to get a job that pays a decent salary. A high school diploma alone is no guarantee of good employment, but all girls need one if they hope to advance to higher levels of education that their chosen job or career requires.

HARDSHIP #5: LOSS OF MOBILITY – Those who don’t have children have a rather naďve idea that parents can just as easily take a baby with them whenever they go out. They are half right. Yes, parents can take a baby out with them, but it is far from easy. Even going to the grocery store with a baby can be a huge hassle. First they have to get the baby dressed, which can be difficult when the little one is happy being home and doesn’t want to be dressed to go out. After getting baby dressed, which can take much longer than mom expected, mom then has to put baby into the car seat, get baby out of the car seat when she arrives at the store, then carry baby around until she can find a cart with an infant carrier. Most grocery stores have very few of those, as I personally discovered long ago. Some may not have any. Going to a restaurant with a baby can also be very stressful, especially if baby suddenly begins crying or screaming for unknown reasons. Mothers who walk into restaurants with screaming or crying babies will find themselves the object of hostile stares, which usually last until they finally have to leave.

HARDSHIP #6: LOSS OF PRIVATE TIME – When a baby arrives, a mom will quickly find that she doesn’t have privacy any more. If she used to read books for hours with few or no interruptions, that will no longer be an option for her. If she is a teen mom who needs quiet time to complete her homework assignments or study for important final exams, that won’t be possible either. A baby will demand her attention many times during the day, so she won’t have private time for doing the things she enjoys or needs to complete.

HARDSHIP #7: DEALING WITH COLIC – For girls/women who are unaware, colic is a long period of crying, screaming and shrieking that can last for many hours a day, and even all night. It can begin when the baby is as young as three weeks old, and it can go on until the baby is five months old. My son had colic for almost two months as an infant. For me, it seemed more like two years. During that time, the crying usually began in the early evening and would last until past midnight. I would walk around the small apartment, carrying him in my arms, for hours trying to comfort him, but nothing I did really worked. He wouldn’t eat, and he most certainly didn’t sleep, and I was a wreck as a result. Being deprived of sleep, with a colicky baby on top of that, can really feel like torture for a mom after a while. I was no exception.

“ Impulsive, bone in her teeth”

Since: Mar 08

Location hidden

#41699 Apr 25, 2013
ocean56, sounds like you have that been there/ done that experience.
Only thing I can say is about the screaming, wailing babies in restaurants. That sounds like a problem with the child. I have seen both good and bad children in dining establishments. Worse still is when the busboy or waitress doesn't clean up the greasy paw prints or snot.
Ella

Rockford, MI

#41700 Apr 25, 2013
When a society gives consent to unlock the door to one evil act, another evil door always swings open:

Door #1: Abortion - Google this article:'Reuters promotes eugenics with 'abortion is safer than giving birth' headline'

Door #2: Sale of abort fetus parts - Google this article:'Fetal body parts used for reseach'( Written by iwishart on Wednesday, March 7, 2012 ), and fetal tissue request site - Agilent Technologies/Genomics.

Door #3: Consumption of fetus parts - Google these articles:'Pepsi, Nestle scandal – flavour ‘enhanced’ by aborted foetal cells'( Written by iwishart on Tuesday, March 6, 2012),'Pepsi and Dead Babies'(Bill Muehlenberg's commentary on issues of the day…Published: 6.3.12 ),'Avoid Any Products Containing Aborted Fetal Cells'(Written by Dave Mihalovic, Prevent Disease, March 9, 2012),'China's New Lucrative Business: Dead Babies Turned Into Stamina Booster Pills'(Aug. 5, 2011), and 'Aborted Babies Sold as Health Food for $10'(by Hong Kong Eastern Express on April 12, 19950.

Door #4: Born alive but left to die - Google these articles:'491 babies born alive after failed abortions, left to die: Statistics Canada confirms'(by PATRICK B. CRAINE, Wed Nov 28, 2012),'Aborted Child Born Alive, Left to Die; Obama Was Okay With That'
(by AWR Hawkins | Washington, DC | LifeNews.com | 5/24/12), and 'Babies survive abortion, left to die',(by Sheila Liaugminas | 10 Dec 2012/Sheila Reports/MercatorNet)

Door #5: Killing Babies - Google this article -'Killing Babies no different from abortion,...'( by Stephen Adams, Medical Correspondent, Feb. 29, 2012), and 'When is Killing Your Baby Okay?'(Thursday, March 01, 2012/ Mars Hill)

Door #6, Door #7 ...to be continued.....

By promoting a women's right to abortions, abortion advocates are doing their part to help big business make their record profits and further foster the dissensitization of society at large; just in time for the next door of evil to open. Take a good look at the bigger picture abortion activists, you have become willing pawns in their game.....Your freedom can only come through Jesus now - John (chapters 1-20), Acts 2:38-39.
Ocean56

AOL

#41701 Apr 26, 2013
Ed Teach wrote:
ocean56, sounds like you have that been there/ done that experience.
Only thing I can say is about the screaming, wailing babies in restaurants. That sounds like a problem with the child. I have seen both good and bad children in dining establishments. Worse still is when the busboy or waitress doesn't clean up the greasy paw prints or snot.
Yep, I sure have. As a happy "done after one" (DAO for short) of a grown-up son, I remember all the HARD parts of motherhood that the right-wingers and militant religionists would prefer NOT to be mentioned.

I think they only want to see the "warm and fuzzy" moments of motherhood be mentioned to girls and young women, not the parts I outlined above. THOSE parts of motherhood shouldn't be mentioned until later. The "later" being AFTER they've had babies, not before, when they can decide NOT to have children at all. For regressive imbeciles who believe in the nonsensical "cult of true womanhood" so popular in the 19th century, the idea that women can decide for themselves NOT to have children is anthema. So they avoid mentioning the hardships to girls and women who aren't married or pregnant yet.
Ocean56

AOL

#41702 Apr 26, 2013
Ella wrote:
When a society gives consent to unlock the door to one evil act, another evil door always swings open:
Oh PLEASE. You obviously skipped over the part where I said girls and young women need to know about these hardships of motherhood NOW, which means long BEFORE a pregnancy happens.

Personally, I'd like to see more girls recognize that being sexFREE (meaning free FROM sex) is in their best interests until they have completed all their levels of education. That means avoiding all forms of sexual activity in middle school, high school, and while attending college or vocational school. Girls who know the advantages of being sexFREE don't have to worry about STD's, unwanted pregnancies or abortion. They're free to enjoy being normal teens and young women without any of those worries.

Why you or anyone else would have a problem with that is beyond me.
Ocean56

AOL

#41703 Apr 26, 2013
From Post #1695:

Ocean56: "Girls and young women who have no children now need to know about these hardships NOW, long before a pregnancy ever happens, so they can PREVENT unwanted pregnancy to the best of their ability. If some girls/women decide they don't ever want the hardships of motherhood, that is fine. The choice for a woman to be childfree (no kids by choice) is just as valid and respectable as the choice to be a mother."

**********

I thought this part of post #1695 needs repeating, especially for those who purposely LIE about what I said previously.
Ocean56

AOL

#41704 Apr 26, 2013
Many teens do not realize that being sexFREE is a winning advantage. This is why I think it’s important to give teens a list of the freedoms that being sexFREE provides. The top ten winning advantages of being SF (sexFREE) are:

1. Freedom from unwanted teen pregnancy and teen motherhood.

2. Freedom from incurable STDs like Herpes and fatal STDs like AIDS.

3. Freedom to concentrate on school work and participate in school activities.

4. Freedom to get all homework assignments and studying done and maintain or improve grades.

5. Freedom to participate in learning programs for future jobs and careers.

6. Freedom to graduate with classmates and receive a high school diploma.

7. Freedom to move on to college or vocational school with no restrictions.

8. Freedom to complete a college or vocational program with a degree or certificate.

9. Freedom to look for and accept good jobs with higher salaries.

10. Freedom to get valuable job experience in a chosen career and take courses to learn more job skills.

Getting pregnant and becoming a teen mother will, most likely, take away most of these freedoms, if not all of them. A teen mom has to put the care of her baby first, which means putting her education second. If she has to study for an important test and the baby is sick, the studying may not get done because she has to care for the baby. That may result in her doing poorly on the exam instead of doing well. If a teen mom wants to attend her junior or senior prom but has no one to watch the baby for her, she can’t go to the dance and has to stay home. If a teen mom is going to college, she may fail one or more classes because caring for her baby or child took priority over completing all her course requirements. A teen mom may even have to drop out of high school or college because she could not take care of her baby and do all her school work at the same time.

By contrast, a teen girl who realizes that being sexFREE (or SF for short) in high school and college is a clear winning advantage will avoid sex with partners during those years. She will keep her freedom to enjoy all the advantages that the SF choice offers. She is free to concentrate in school, get all her class and homework assignments done, attend any dances she wishes, and take part in school activities like working on the school newspaper or yearbook. Best of all, she will graduate with her class and go on to college or vocational school afterward. If she avoids sexual activity with partners during her college or vocational school years, she will continue to enjoy the advantages indefinitely. She may even decide at some point that she prefers the career world over marriage and children, which is a perfectly valid choice. Not all women wish to be wives and mothers.

It is my firm belief that there is nothing good about getting pregnant as a teenager. Teen pregnancy and teen motherhood can impair or even destroy a girl’s ability to get a good education, which is the foundation for good employment. If a girl cannot get a good job because she doesn’t have a high school diploma, poverty may become inevitable. Sadly, many teen girls don’t know how very hard teen motherhood is until it is too late. They don’t know because no one ever told them, either at home or at school. It is about time that changed.

The “just say no” approach to abstinence-only sex education programs is miserably inadequate because it doesn’t explain WHY teens, especially girls, should say no to sex. The top ten list of winning advantages is a good informational tool to start off with. When a large majority of teens have this information, they may soon begin to realize that enjoying the advantages of the SF choice is a much better option for them than being trapped by the burdens of teen motherhood.

“ Impulsive, bone in her teeth”

Since: Mar 08

Location hidden

#41705 Apr 26, 2013
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
Yep, I sure have. As a happy "done after one" (DAO for short) of a grown-up son, I remember all the HARD parts of motherhood that the right-wingers and militant religionists would prefer NOT to be mentioned.
I think they only want to see the "warm and fuzzy" moments of motherhood be mentioned to girls and young women, not the parts I outlined above. THOSE parts of motherhood shouldn't be mentioned until later. The "later" being AFTER they've had babies, not before, when they can decide NOT to have children at all. For regressive imbeciles who believe in the nonsensical "cult of true womanhood" so popular in the 19th century, the idea that women can decide for themselves NOT to have children is anthema. So they avoid mentioning the hardships to girls and women who aren't married or pregnant yet.
so true, and they most certainly do not mention all those sickly drug adicted babies born to prostitutes and crack freaks. Then there's the desperate poverty level of some. Some who aren't there but will be because of childbirth.
Ocean56

AOL

#41706 Apr 26, 2013
http://sojo.net/magazine/2010/07/persistence-...

THE PERSISTENCE OF PATRIARCHY

by Anne Eggebroten | July 2010

Hard to believe, but some churches are still talking about male headship.

Today I’m attending a megachurch—Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California—where God is male, all the pastors, deacons, and elders are male, and women are taught to live in submission to men. My husband, visiting Phoenix for a week, texts me that a woman is preaching in the Episcopal church he found near his motel.

These two different worlds exist side by side: congregations where men and women are equal partners in service of Jesus Christ, and others where gender hierarchy is taught as God’s will and the only truly biblical option. On Sunday morning we all drive past one flavor of gender teaching to worship in another. And those in egalitarian churches often have no idea of the wide reach of “complementarianism”—the term, so much nicer-sounding than “hierarchy,” used these days by neo-patriarchalists to describe their view of men’s and women’s different roles.

In Sun Valley, the sermon by Pastor John MacArthur, comparing the accounts of walking on water in different gospels, is excellent; I guess that’s how megachurches get started. After church, in the crowded visitors’ room, I’m welcomed by a friendly woman about my age, a physical therapist with a degree from the college where I teach religion.

I ask her,“Is women’s submission to their husbands stressed in this church?”

“Yes, it is,” she says.“A ship can have only one captain. But it’s not enslavement.” She tells me she’s fortunate that her husband is “not the domineering type. We take a difficult issue to God in prayer. I rarely have to let him decide.”

**********

Why ANY woman would want to subject herself to such subservience and yes, ENSLAVEMENT, to a man, a "god," or a religion/church is beyond me. Luckily for me, that kind of nightmare isn't part of MY life, and it reminds me that my decision to kick the toxic baggage of gods, religions, and churches to the curb over 20 years ago was the right one.
mztza

Mesa, AZ

#41707 Apr 26, 2013
for what ever finer reason,
anybody can justify, in what they decide
for or against
as scientists say, when life began was cells began to divide and multiplies
why would they say that,
as some have said, some too lazy, it broke, for revenge, inconvenient, cramp lifestyle, rape,
but it comes down to only one thing
NO LOVE, NO MERCY,
depression when you get an abortion,
depression when you adopt it out
but at least, your conscience would be clear from killing
some think it's a blob, it's ok cause it doesn't have a little face yet, but it would have if given a few weeks more
don't live with that kind of regret
because it goes against everything a woman is

“Calling Out The Hermits”

Since: Apr 13

At Ricky Dicky land

#41708 Apr 26, 2013
There is nothing wrong with abortion? Only the devil's advocate would say that.....

“IMAGINE no religion!”

Since: Feb 09

usa

#41709 Apr 29, 2013
mztza wrote:
it's kind of strange some women,
how some women find out their pregnant for only two weeks,
and they run around, celebrating,
calling everybody their having a BABY, go figure!
how strange, they don't call it a blob or a fetus, i wonder why
and yet, some women,
even when they don't want the BABY, for reasons like rape, or economics, don't know who the father is
oops, i mean, the blob or fetus
they give it a chance to live, and then let it be adopted, to a good family
interesting, how some think how inconvenient it is to have a child,
goes against life style, hates kids, don't know who the father is, into promiscuity, had 3 other abortions, no love for child, tooo embarrassed that it might be an ethic baby, family knowing,
i would assume these are valid reasons,
now, for those who goes for abortions, go watch
how they do it, and if you feel nothing
then stand by your DECISION
thats too bad, you just never know, that little blob could have had an answer for cancer, heart problems, maybe the first to travel to mars
i wonder what a future, they, the blobs would have had,
if given a chance ?????
i was an ob/gyn nurse for many years. i have seen how pregnancies are terminated.

i have also seen severly handicapped, deformed babies born and struggle to live but die within a few minutes after being born.

it doesn't change my mind. i still believe that every woman should have a choice. to either continue a pregnancy or terminate it, if that is what she wants.

and the arguement about what the aborted fetus would turn out to be can be argued both ways. what if that child turns out to be another hitler? jeffry dahmer? btk killer..........the list goes on.

“IMAGINE no religion!”

Since: Feb 09

usa

#41710 Apr 29, 2013
Ella wrote:
<quoted text>
Take it up with GOD, it is His Word! Oh wait, you'll get that chance because you will have to give an account for every idle word
you have and will speak as well as any of your actions you haven't repented for.
not everyone believes in your god. thank goodness!!!!!!!

stick your god where the sun don't shine.

“IMAGINE no religion!”

Since: Feb 09

usa

#41711 Apr 29, 2013
mztza wrote:
<quoted text>
congratulations, you use contraceptives,
why, didn't get you abort the children that you have
is it because you thought them as babies
not a blob
thats because these other women, won't admit it's a baby,
no love for that child, besides it's easier to get rid of it
they don't have to see it in pieces, or whether it's a boy or little girl
besides, they don't want to see the PIECES still moving around and still fighting for life
even the head still, its mouth is still gasping for AIR
thats really strange, for just a said blob
trying to survive, in pieces
for one thing, when it started out as a blob, it already had its characteristic of the parents, as it grows to have a blend of physical from both parents
it has already been determined if that child would have been a blessing in this world
this little blob had a SOUL,
it doesn't have a soul, just when its born
from the moment, the cells, gathered and multipled
it was set, boy, girl, look like parents, smart or smarter, sweet or naughty, loving or alittle brat, athelete, scholar, take care of you in old age, even give you sweet grandchildren
all, i ask of these ladies, is give the child a chance,
give it to someone, who would adore it, who can't even have a blob
because, these women who can't have babies, think this blob as a baby to love
for the ones, who truly don't want, get an operation, thats 100% guarantee
the other way, well sometimes it doesn't work
or be celibate
most intelligent women know what to call the concepts in their womb. the medical term that is, not some childish dumbed down term.

during all of my pregnancies.....my ob/gyns always referred to it as THE FETUS. they didn't have to call it some cutsie name. and all my pregnancies were wanted. tho not all were planned. but that is just me. and i do not have the need to force my beliefs and feelings onto another. what is right for me is not right for another.

and no "an operation" is not 100% guarnteed! i had a tubal after my last child. i got pregnant twice after that. both pregnancies ended in miscarriage.

and no one should be celibate just to please you womb nazi fetus lovers.

“IMAGINE no religion!”

Since: Feb 09

usa

#41712 Apr 29, 2013
and mzta, a fetus inutero do not "gasp for air" they move the mouth in response to stimuli, like when their hand brushes their cheek.... ever witnessed a newborn babe have its cheek stroked? it will instantly turn its head and start "rooting" in other words looking for a food source. its a survival instinct.

as a fetus reaches the third trimester of the pregnancy it may suck its thumb.

i have seen many newborns with a blood blister on their hand or thumb, when born. from sucking so much while in the womb.

also a fetus will drink the amnio fluid. which is where the meconium comes from.

meconium is the earliest stools of a mammalian infant. unlike later feces, meconium is composed of materials ingested during the time the infant spends in the uterus: intestinal epithelial cells, lanugo, mucus,_amniotic fluid_, bile, and water. meconium, unlike later feces, is viscous and sticky like tar, its color usually being a very dark olive green; it is almost odorless. when diluted in amniotic fluid, it may appear in various shades of green, brown, or yellow.

please seek an education. your ignorance is astounding!
Doctor REALITY

Benton, AR

#41713 Apr 29, 2013
Abortion is EVIL, abortion is MURDER, abortion is OF THE DEVIL!!
Atheits and spinter

Medford, MA

#41714 Apr 29, 2013
Mackenzieee wrote:
Pregnancy and parenting takes a HUGE toll on the females embryo.
.
Before you do that go and shave your genitals.
Thom Tanner

Medford, MA

#41715 Apr 29, 2013
Doctor REALITY wrote:
Abortion is EVIL, abortion is MURDER, abortion is OF THE DEVIL!!
I love to use you s a toilet!
Doctor REALITY

Benton, AR

#41716 Apr 29, 2013
Thom Tanner wrote:
<quoted text>
I love to use you s a toilet!
Unless you REPENT and turn to Christ Almighty, you will have HELL as your 'toilet'. A 'toilet' were the worm never dies!

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Top Stories Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Prove there's a god. (Mar '08) 5 min sweets2360 739,791
Bush is a hero (Sep '07) 6 min Tealiban Fascists 173,746
Atheism requires as much faith as religion? (Jul '09) 7 min Dave Nelson 227,690
Hot gays in Abu Dhabi (Nov '13) 25 min Roger 874
Is homosexuality a sin? (Oct '07) 48 min KiMare 95,524
jawan bhanji ki chudai kaise karu (Apr '13) 1 hr raj 37
xxx(ngoanana o nyoo e metsi) (Apr '10) 2 hr ohk 17
Roman Catholic church only true church, says Va... (Jul '07) 6 hr truth 542,873
Sims 4 Key Generator (Oct '13) 14 hr ms simmer 153

Top Stories People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

•••