New Words for the Workplace Vocabulary
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal and maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that is all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast & take a diet pill.
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada shoes & carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.