It is a personal journey for each of us to be sure.
I have only been OUT LOUD for God for 7 years~ as THAT was when I truly had NO choice but t know that all the many times I felt led- really were NOT all in my head (c:
Over a series of several days -starting with a car trip up to see my mom----when she was in the hospital and accidentally finding a Christian radio station while scanning the channels- I NEVER listened to those stations before then except for a minute in case God was watching <smile> The message that started "Perhaps YOU have a family member that's dieing" - I also experienced PRAYING out loud in the emergency room - with out caring or knowing all I was saying. To which people responded with tears due to the condition of oloved ones there- and the feeling of peace the prayer brought. I had NEVER EVER prayed out loud other than at my brief attempts at church...
My mom died- in fact her boyfriend hurried it along right IN the ER aand also had a hand in poisoning her so that she ended up there.
The man also assaulted me the night before her funeral- There is much much more- but my point in telling you is so that I can say - Through EVERY single moment of that couple week span- I saw the path I had to take and what needed to be done in order for others to NOT fall- and I implemented any and every thing that was needed.
Each person that lives on the planet- searches for a truth or something to help them to feel whole and alive- When we live with out thinking there IS a God- life seems different. When we live with that feeling of "THERE MUST BE MORE"- it is a natural choice to wonder..."God ? Are you for real?" HOW AMAZED people are when they find out that HE is what was missing all along!
THAT is when people get the bigger picture and understanding to what they once tried to read and see IN the bible.
That is the MOMENT that has transferred EVERY single REAL Christian friend.
My condolences to you and yours.
However, the bible is only made up of mss. that were chosen by mortal men.
The bigger picture is to see the purpose of its canonization and to understand its background history.