Why Should Jesus Love Me?

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#500134 Mar 8, 2013
River Tam wrote:
<quoted text>
Can you explain it to me and hold up under my extensive questioning?
Let's start with the idea of faithful.
Understand that traditional gender roles play no part in this. I only date girls and if I marry, I will only marry a girl.
Splain it.
Sure, extensively question away, if you don't play games I won't either.

Traditional gender roles have zero to do with loyalty and commitment.

Ok. We get married, make promises and VOW to one another, you know what that means right? I'm guessing from your posts that you do.

I left my siblings, a promising career and everything I knew to marry this man and move to a strange place where I knew no one, fair enough, I loved him and would have followed him anywhere and done anything for him, I wasn't religious at the time but I meant my vows, with all my heart and I was not the marrying kind either. To me, marriage meant forever, no matter what.

He's a Soldier.
Year 1 of marriage, I get pregnant. He cheats whilst away on an 'Exercise', which I find out later on was no Exercise, just a nice getaway for two, for a month, with our savings.
I'm shattered, I forgive him and choose to just believe his lies and we have a son.

Year 2 of marriage. We decide I should not return to work and be a SAHM. He didn't like me working and I'm too protective of my kids to let strangers spend more time with them than me. I go to work for my last week as he gets a few weeks leave and can care for our son. My last day turns out to be on the 3rd day instead of the 5th. I get home and find him on the couch with one of his mate's wives.[Insert graphic 'pornea' here]. Our son was asleep.
There's some drama, the woman ends up on her bare butt in front of my house and has to go find a phone, he follows her with her things, gets her home safe and comes back to some more of my fury.
I'm angry, then shattered then a little numb. I forgive him and again decide to believe his promises and his lies. Six months later he confesses that woman he was seeing is pregnant. I accepted and loved his little daughter when he had access, not her fault.

Year 3. We have another son and when the baby is 6 months old, my 'husband' decides that he doesn't love me anymore and I should move out of his army house so the other woman he loves can move in. By this stage we had moved twice and are in WA, on the other side of the country. All this follows me hardly ever seeing him because he was 'working' long hours and had his new woman on his lap, in front of me and many others, the day before, at an Anzac day BBQ.
That separation lasted 1 year, I moved back to be close to his family, studied, became a bit less shattered and went on with life. Did not even so much as flirt with another man. His affair breaks down, he comes back and wins me over (I still loved him). I choose to believe him and forgive him.

Year 4. We have our third son. I put on more weight than usual and have some complications throughout the pregnancy. He starts to go out again, coming back drunk, hardly ever around. One of his sisters starts to spend time with me and helps me when she can. By the time my baby son is 10 months old, I've become a Christian which brought me peace, which is a good thing as otherwise I might have killed him that time. The affair had been going on for a year. I found out and had to move out with my three boys. My boys had to stay with their Grandparents for 11 weeks because I had a miscarriage, found out about the affair a week later and was moved out by a week after that. Then, a few days later I found out his mistress was pregnant. I had a complete nervous breakdown.

That was in April 2009. I have been alone and celibate this whole time and have just been enjoying my boys and studying again. His relationship with his mistress is over and he's had 2 others since and moved himself to a different state, barely even calls his sons. He has not tried to divorce me nor I him but I am numb.

Bring it.

Since: May 09

Location hidden

#500135 Mar 8, 2013
It aint necessarily so wrote:
<quoted text>
As ye rip, so shall ye sew.
Book of Tailors.(whole chapter)

“Runner John Green disqualified”

Since: Aug 12

4 Bible Scripture on headband

#500136 Mar 8, 2013
River Tam wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm not trying anything.(When I try to trip you up, you won't have a chance :)
Do you still love her? Does the pain and injustice destroy the love?
I like this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =EiOmhOumh-wXX
I love her as a fellow human being who I once had a past with... but as a lover or someone I passionately miss? Nope.

My wife of 21 years is my lover and my passion.

“Runner John Green disqualified”

Since: Aug 12

4 Bible Scripture on headband

#500137 Mar 8, 2013
TIM958 wrote:
<quoted text>
If one is a true believer then abandonment is not an option.
We agree on this per the scripture.
TIM958 wrote:
<quoted text>
If I (a believer) leave my wife because we can't get along then I remarry I am an adulterer.
We already agree on that also.

This is the scripture I was referring to in I Cor 7:

"To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else BE RECONCILED to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife."

What are some reasons a believing wife would leave her believing husband?
TIM958 wrote:
<quoted text>
You see.... the first post I put this morning really does apply here too. If I am subjected to God because what He has done for me then I will serve Him out of love. If I serve Him because I want His love then I am serving out of compunction. Marriage between believers follows the same principle. If I love my wife because she loves me then I will serve her out of love. If I love my wife so she will love me then I will serve her out of compunction. Which is the best kind of love? In other words Christian marital love is a choice and not a feeling.
We agree on this also.

“Bacon Bacon ”

Since: Dec 06

SW Burbs Chicago

#500138 Mar 8, 2013
Qu_innocence wrote:
<quoted text>Yes... Salvation is of the Lord but it would not have been needed had Adam and Eve trusted and obeyed God...
No, God did plan for Adam and Eve to sin. They chose sin and the results of their decision (like sometimes our own parents decisions) has affected mankind since Adam let sin into the world.
God wants every man to be saved...not just a select few. But few will be saved because not every man wants to be saved.
We'll go deeper into pre-destination some time later. Don't forget that some Calvinists also believe that some are predestined to hell... and they would use Judas as an excuse. Get into that also, Lordwilling.
I left regular posting here at topix because I just am too busy with life in general. I look in from time to time and this is one of my favorite threads to look in on. It has been polluted by non topic discussion and foolish logic in the past couple years. I wish I had the time to get into this deeper but really don't. There is so much to explore from Calvin to Jacobus Arminius to Augustine and Pelagius as they relate to the Gnostics. These are real interests of mine and I long for the day I can retire and look into them at a deeper level. You seem to have a good grasp of the history here and know that these things are important. Live like a citizen of Heaven and be ready always to answer for the hope that is in you. I will try to look in later today but have many tasks to attend to. TTYL and have a great day. I have added you to my daily prayer list.

Col 3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
Col 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

“Life may be sweeter for this”

Since: Nov 08

Fennario

#500139 Mar 8, 2013
simplyput wrote:
I know a Church has to pay their electric bills and heating bills, that should be why we Tithe, and of course material for teaching Sunday School and Bible School for the childen.
From http://www.secularhumanism.org/index.php...

"The home in the photo (above) is the $1.75 million mansion of the Reverend Randy White, the former head pastor of Without Walls International Church in Tampa, Florida. While some people may be bothered by the fact that there are pastors who live in multimillion dollar homes, this is old news to most. But here is what should bother you about these expensive homes: You are helping to pay for them! You pay for them indirectly, the same way local, state, and federal governments in the United States subsidize religion—to the tune of about $71 billion every year."

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#500140 Mar 8, 2013
TIM958 wrote:
<quoted text>
If one is a true believer then abandonment is not an option. If I (a believer) leave my wife because we can't get along then I remarry I am an adulterer. You see.... the first post I put this morning really does apply here too. If I am subjected to God because what He has done for me then I will serve Him out of love. If I serve Him because I want His love then I am serving out of compunction. Marriage between believers follows the same principle. If I love my wife because she loves me then I will serve her out of love. If I love my wife so she will love me then I will serve her out of compunction. Which is the best kind of love? In other words Christian marital love is a choice and not a feeling.
What if you don't even get a choice? My husband has made it abundantly and heartbreakingly clear that he's not coming back. I do agree with you to an extent but if he did change his mind, because I've lost all the weight or he's bored or wants to torture me some more or whatever, I would not take him back.

“Runner John Green disqualified”

Since: Aug 12

4 Bible Scripture on headband

#500141 Mar 8, 2013
TIM958 wrote:
<quoted text>
I left regular posting here at topix because I just am too busy with life in general. I look in from time to time and this is one of my favorite threads to look in on. It has been polluted by non topic discussion and foolish logic in the past couple years. I wish I had the time to get into this deeper but really don't. There is so much to explore from Calvin to Jacobus Arminius to Augustine and Pelagius as they relate to the Gnostics. These are real interests of mine and I long for the day I can retire and look into them at a deeper level. You seem to have a good grasp of the history here and know that these things are important. Live like a citizen of Heaven and be ready always to answer for the hope that is in you. I will try to look in later today but have many tasks to attend to. TTYL and have a great day. I have added you to my daily prayer list.
Col 3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
Col 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
Thanx Tim... have a good day. About to head out myself.

“What?”

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#500142 Mar 8, 2013
Illuminatrix wrote:
<quoted text>
Sure, extensively question away, if you don't play games I won't either.
Traditional gender roles have zero to do with loyalty and commitment.
Ok. We get married, make promises and VOW to one another, you know what that means right? I'm guessing from your posts that you do.
I left my siblings, a promising career and everything I knew to marry this man and move to a strange place where I knew no one, fair enough, I loved him and would have followed him anywhere and done anything for him, I wasn't religious at the time but I meant my vows, with all my heart and I was not the marrying kind either. To me, marriage meant forever, no matter what.
He's a Soldier.
Year 1 of marriage, I get pregnant. He cheats whilst away on an 'Exercise', which I find out later on was no Exercise, just a nice getaway for two, for a month, with our savings.
I'm shattered, I forgive him and choose to just believe his lies and we have a son.
Year 2 of marriage. We decide I should not return to work and be a SAHM. He didn't like me working and I'm too protective of my kids to let strangers spend more time with them than me. I go to work for my last week as he gets a few weeks leave and can care for our son. My last day turns out to be on the 3rd day instead of the 5th. I get home and find him on the couch with one of his mate's wives.[Insert graphic 'pornea' here]. Our son was asleep.
There's some drama, the woman ends up on her bare butt in front of my house and has to go find a phone, he follows her with her things, gets her home safe and comes back to some more of my fury.
I'm angry, then shattered then a little numb. I forgive him and again decide to believe his promises and his lies. Six months later he confesses that woman he was seeing is pregnant. I accepted and loved his little daughter when he had access, not her fault.
Year 3. We have another son and when the baby is 6 months old, my 'husband' decides that he doesn't love me anymore and I should move out of his army house so the other woman he loves can move in. By this stage we had moved twice and are in WA, on the other side of the country. All this follows me hardly ever seeing him because he was 'working' long hours and had his new woman on his lap, in front of me and many others, the day before, at an Anzac day BBQ.
That separation lasted 1 year, I moved back to be close to his family, studied, became a bit less shattered and went on with life. Did not even so much as flirt with another man. His affair breaks down, he comes back and wins me over (I still loved him). I choose to believe him and forgive him.
Year 4. We have our third son. I put on more weight than usual and have some complications throughout the pregnancy. He starts to go out again, coming back drunk, hardly ever around. One of his sisters starts to spend time with me and helps me when she can. By the time my baby son is 10 months old, I've become a Christian which brought me peace, which is a good thing as otherwise I might have killed him that time. The affair had been going on for a year. I found out and had to move out with my three boys. My boys had to stay with their Grandparents for 11 weeks because I had a miscarriage, found out about the affair a week later and was moved out by a week after that. Then, a few days later I found out his mistress was pregnant. I had a complete nervous breakdown.
That was in April 2009. I have been alone and celibate this whole time and have just been enjoying my boys and studying again. His relationship with his mistress is over and he's had 2 others since and moved himself to a different state, barely even calls his sons. He has not tried to divorce me nor I him but I am numb.
Bring it.
You made me cry.

You selfish woman, you.

I want to hug you. I guess when I come here to learn, I should be better prepared.

<3

“Life may be sweeter for this”

Since: Nov 08

Fennario

#500143 Mar 8, 2013
Peace_Warrior wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm sorry I missed this.
Ja... it is a tragedy. How many have we not seen, just in our passing alone.
But for the many whose memory remains...
A bikey in my arms in the gutter who knew in his dying seconds, that Love Cares.
A little bird when holding it's last breath in my hands.
An elderly soul – treated like an animal in a Home for the Aged – in her final moments of clinging to life on the floor of human dignity.
A brave soldier whose flesh still clings to my face...
An endless list... never forgotten... means Love is evidence of more than just a difference when in their presence alone.
Thank you again for Caring
Sorry for your loses.

“Life may be sweeter for this”

Since: Nov 08

Fennario

#500144 Mar 8, 2013
LAWEST100 wrote:
do you have an aversion to honest hard work?
I do now.

What's honest about your work? What do you do?

“Runner John Green disqualified”

Since: Aug 12

4 Bible Scripture on headband

#500145 Mar 8, 2013
Illuminatrix wrote:
<quoted text>
Sure, extensively question away, if you don't play games I won't either.
Traditional gender roles have zero to do with loyalty and commitment.
Ok. We get married, make promises and VOW to one another, you know what that means right? I'm guessing from your posts that you do.
I left my siblings, a promising career and everything I knew to marry this man and move to a strange place where I knew no one, fair enough, I loved him and would have followed him anywhere and done anything for him, I wasn't religious at the time but I meant my vows, with all my heart and I was not the marrying kind either. To me, marriage meant forever, no matter what.
He's a Soldier.
Year 1 of marriage, I get pregnant. He cheats whilst away on an 'Exercise', which I find out later on was no Exercise, just a nice getaway for two, for a month, with our savings.
I'm shattered, I forgive him and choose to just believe his lies and we have a son.
For Space
God is near those of a broken heart Sis. There is a book which I read that helped me A EXTREMELY GREAT deal through that time. I just looked at the price and I can hardly believe that it shot up that high. They have the used ones if interested.
But it's called "When The One You Love Wants to Leave".

http://www.amazon.com/When-One-Love-Wants-Lea...

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#500146 Mar 8, 2013
River Tam wrote:
<quoted text>
You made me cry.
You selfish woman, you.
I want to hug you. I guess when I come here to learn, I should be better prepared.
<3
(((hugs))) don't cry... I don't anymore :-)

“What?”

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#500147 Mar 8, 2013
Qu_innocence wrote:
<quoted text>I love her as a fellow human being who I once had a past with... but as a lover or someone I passionately miss? Nope.
My wife of 21 years is my lover and my passion.
Did you love her when you married her? Was there a question about that when you married her?

Can you just think you love somebody and then, later, realize that you were wrong? If so, at the point of realization, can you just dump her?

At what point do you just say, fuckit, this ain't workin?

Would it be different if the children were yours? Just asking.

“Life may be sweeter for this”

Since: Nov 08

Fennario

#500148 Mar 8, 2013
RiversideRedneck wrote:
<quoted text>
They don't need to simply "go to church". There's too many "Sunday Christians" as it is (that's the gutter tramp getting down n dirty with 6 guys on Saturday night, then goin to church and pretending to grandma that she's a good christian girl).
I remember a pastors daughter at a church I went to, she gave quite a few sermons in Sunday school (SUNDAY SCHOOL!) about premarital sex and love and happiness and blah blah de f_cking blah. She wound up pregnant at 16 years old by the 17 year old pastors "assistant"'s son. The church quietly hid them and protected them and anytime anyone brought it up, we were shunned out.
Just like the God damned Catholic Church does with their pedophiles.

To hell with churches.
What is your complaint with my message? That is all that I am saying. Enjoy your private walk with your god, and to hell with organized religion. Aren't we pretty close on this?

“Bacon Bacon ”

Since: Dec 06

SW Burbs Chicago

#500149 Mar 8, 2013
Illuminatrix wrote:
<quoted text>
What if you don't even get a choice? My husband has made it abundantly and heartbreakingly clear that he's not coming back. I do agree with you to an extent but if he did change his mind, because I've lost all the weight or he's bored or wants to torture me some more or whatever, I would not take him back.
One more before I get going here. My heart aches for you and I will add you to my daily prayer list too as "Illuminatrix" How can we love someone who isn't there? WOW I can't imagine....
I have been married for almost 33 years and my Nancy is the BEST! Hang in there and email me if you need to vent. My email is in my profile.:^\

“Runner John Green disqualified”

Since: Aug 12

4 Bible Scripture on headband

#500150 Mar 8, 2013
Qu_innocence wrote:
<quoted text>Yes... Salvation is of the Lord but it would not have been needed had Adam and Eve trusted and obeyed God...
No, God did plan for Adam and Eve to sin. They chose sin and the results of their decision (like sometimes our own parents decisions) has affected mankind since Adam let sin into the world.
God wants every man to be saved...not just a select few. But few will be saved because not every man wants to be saved.
We'll go deeper into pre-destination some time later. Don't forget that some Calvinists also believe that some are predestined to hell... and they would use Judas as an excuse. Get into that also, Lordwilling.
Edit... No "God DID NOT plan for Adam and Eve to sin". Sorry Lord!

“Life may be sweeter for this”

Since: Nov 08

Fennario

#500151 Mar 8, 2013
RiversideRedneck wrote:
To hell with churches.
LAWEST100 wrote:
On the contrary that is going to be YOUR destination if you don't get it turned around in time.
Careful. He seems just as disgusted with all of you as he does with us.

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#500152 Mar 8, 2013
Qu_innocence wrote:
<quoted text>God is near those of a broken heart Sis. There is a book which I read that helped me A EXTREMELY GREAT deal through that time. I just looked at the price and I can hardly believe that it shot up that high. They have the used ones if interested.
But it's called "When The One You Love Wants to Leave".
http://www.amazon.com/When-One-Love-Wants-Lea...
Thank you but I'm ok now, only took 3 and a half years too...LOL. I guess I haven't divorced him because of that passage you know, that I have to remain alone. Maybe I will, who knows, but I flirted for the first time in years the um, other day... it was fun and tells me I'm over it. I'm rather pathetically loyal, like a dog. Even to friends and family, but even I have limits. I'd be a great protective warrior or something, LOL.

Since: May 09

Location hidden

#500153 Mar 8, 2013
Illuminatrix wrote:
<quoted text>
Sure, extensively question away, if you don't play games I won't either.
Traditional gender roles have zero to do with loyalty and commitment.
Ok. We get married, make promises and VOW to one another, you know what that means right? I'm guessing from your posts that you do.
I left my siblings, a promising career and everything I knew to marry this man and move to a strange place where I knew no one, fair enough, I loved him and would have followed him anywhere and done anything for him, I wasn't religious at the time but I meant my vows, with all my heart and I was not the marrying kind either. To me, marriage meant forever, no matter what.
He's a Soldier.
Year 1 of marriage, I get pregnant. He cheats whilst away on an 'Exercise', which I find out later on was no Exercise, just a nice getaway for two, for a month, with our savings.
I'm shattered, I forgive him and choose to just believe his lies and we have a son.
Year 2 of marriage. We decide I should not return to work and be a SAHM. He didn't like me working and I'm too protective of my kids to let strangers spend more time with them than me. I go to work for my last week as he gets a few weeks leave and can care for our son. My last day turns out to be on the 3rd day instead of the 5th. I get home and find him on the couch with one of his mate's wives.[Insert graphic 'pornea' here]. Our son was asleep.
There's some drama, the woman ends up on her bare butt in front of my house and has to go find a phone, he follows her with her things, gets her home safe and comes back to some more of my fury.
I'm angry, then shattered then a little numb. I forgive him and again decide to believe his promises and his lies. Six months later he confesses that woman he was seeing is pregnant. I accepted and loved his little daughter when he had access, not her fault.
Year 3. We have another son and when the baby is 6 months old, my 'husband' decides that he doesn't love me anymore and I should move out of his army house so the other woman he loves can move in. By this stage we had moved twice and are in WA, on the other side of the country. All this follows me hardly ever seeing him because he was 'working' long hours and had his new woman on his lap, in front of me and many others, the day before, at an Anzac day BBQ.
That separation lasted 1 year, I moved back to be close to his family, studied, became a bit less shattered and went on with life. Did not even so much as flirt with another man. His affair breaks down, he comes back and wins me over (I still loved him). I choose to believe him and forgive him.
Year 4. We have our third son. I put on more weight than usual and have some complications throughout the pregnancy. He starts to go out again, coming back drunk, hardly ever around. One of his sisters starts to spend time with me and helps me when she can. By the time my baby son is 10 months old, I've become a Christian which brought me peace, which is a good thing as otherwise I might have killed him that time. The affair had been going on for a year. I found out and had to move out with my three boys. My boys had to stay with their Grandparents for 11 weeks because I had a miscarriage, found out about the affair a week later and was moved out by a week after that. Then, a few days later I found out his mistress was pregnant. I had a complete nervous breakdown.
That was in April 2009. I have been alone and celibate this whole time and have just been enjoying my boys and studying again. His relationship with his mistress is over and he's had 2 others since and moved himself to a different state, barely even calls his sons. He has not tried to divorce me nor I him but I am numb.
Bring it.
Here.

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