OK Health Care Freedom Amendment, Sta...

OK Health Care Freedom Amendment, State Question 756

Created by CitizenTopix on Oct 11, 2010

1,604 votes

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Jimbo

United States

#38863 Apr 27, 2013
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me... her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate, because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is: ALWAYS keep your condoms in your car.
Stephen

United States

#38864 Apr 27, 2013
One year, Marcus decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When his wife asked him why, he replied, "Well, she still hasn't used the gift I bought her last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....
Misty

United States

#38865 Apr 27, 2013
Zane's wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"

Zane replied "Dust".

And that's how the fight started.....
TAMARA

United States

#38866 Apr 27, 2013
Misty is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies,'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's how the fight started.....
TAMARA

United States

#38867 Apr 27, 2013
Stephen's wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said,'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.

He bought her a scale.

And that's how the fight started.....
Jimbo

United States

#38868 Apr 27, 2013
Packing Heat asked his wife,'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'

It warmed his heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

So he suggested,'How about the kitchen?'

And that's when the fight started....
Maddy

United States

#38869 Apr 27, 2013
Marcus and wife are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while they were in bed. He turned to her and said,'Do you want to have sex?'

'No,' she answered.

He then said,'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at him this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So he said,'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's when the fight started....
Packing Heat

United States

#38870 Apr 27, 2013
Dempsey tried to talk his wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. He told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's when the fight started.....
Dr Jones

United States

#38871 Apr 27, 2013
Zane took his wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took his order first.

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

The waiter said,'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's when the fight started.....
Dempsey

United States

#38872 Apr 27, 2013
What do you get when you cross the Pillsbury Doighboy and Mary Fallin ?


An ugly biotch with a yeast infection...
Stephen

United States

#38873 Apr 27, 2013
FAKE Jimbo wrote:
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me... her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate, because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is: ALWAYS keep your condoms in your car.
What morals?
Stephen

United States

#38874 Apr 27, 2013
The GOP no longer has a fringe. The lunatic fringe is now the center. The John Birch loons are running the show, racism is in the open and FDR is a demon.
Stephen

United States

#38875 Apr 27, 2013
Yeah. But if you can get yourself in a certain frame of mind, it is actually funny. We have a local "call in" talk show that brings out the crazy. They listen to "Power Hour" and then call in. Some of them regurgitate what Joyce Riley said, and others are just naturally batshit nuts. We have one gentleman who calls in daily to complain about the local sheriff putting a chip in his brain, a woman who calls, initially very calmly, and then escalates into apocalyptic eschatology, and, my personal favorite, who opens up with, "Halooooo? Is this me?" After this, we get an hour of Stephanie Miller (?) then "Sell-a-thon," then Alex Jones, followed by Ed Schultz. There has got to be a TV show in this somewhere.
Jimbo

United States

#38876 Apr 27, 2013
The right are pitch men, similar to Billy Mays.

You want a racist newsletter, well then subscribe.

You want government is the enemy and you need guns, then subscribe.

We will throw in a bonus Obama is a secret alien free with subscription.

Why think for yourself when for only $19.95 you don't have to.
Dr Jones

United States

#38877 Apr 27, 2013
Capitalism "is now a cynical money-making 'racket'," and all these right wing nuts whatever else they are, are straight up capitalists! Just like all those other right wing religious nuts and their mega-churches! The same people who won't pay union dues flock into the mega-churches and give more than what their union dues would be to try to feel better about getting what are now unlivable wages.
Marcus

United States

#38878 Apr 27, 2013
The Right will scam anyone for a buck, then blame it on Democrats.
Maddy

United States

#38879 Apr 27, 2013
"When fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in the flag and waving a cross." -- Sinclair Lewis

It's here, folks!
TAMARA

United States

#38880 Apr 27, 2013
Sooner or later every religious figure understands that there's big money in religion. Some of them are able to keep the corrosive influence of raw greed from affecting them, but most seem to give in to the temptation.

Reichwing political beliefs, especially during the resurgence of Bircherism under the name of "The Tea Party", are nothing more than a form of religious belief. It was completely predictable, from the very beginning, that there would be people who would figure out how to take advantage of the rubes who were lining up just to be fleeced...
Packing Heat

United States

#38881 Apr 27, 2013
The teabaggers were an invention by rich republicans. Desperate people fall for this bullshit.
Dempsey

United States

#38882 Apr 27, 2013
I get Tea Party and other emails for rt wingers like Bachmann all trying to sell emergency food, gold. bomb shelters. generators. solar panels, t shirts, bumper stickers...you name it...

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