OK Health Care Freedom Amendment, State Question 756

Created by CitizenTopix on Oct 11, 2010

1,512 votes

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Donnie

United States

#38002 Apr 5, 2013
Repigs are a crude lot. Rude, crude, and socially unacceptable.

You repigs lost the election and are a racist bunch of slobs and you will never run anybody off this foruma, dumbazzes.
Jesse

United States

#38003 Apr 5, 2013
Donnie walks in to a bar and orders 10 shots. The bartender asks him, "Are we celebrating something special today?"

To which Donnie replies, "Yeah - my first blow job."
The bartender then says, "Congrats! The 11th one is on me!"

To which Donnie answers, "No thanks - if the taste ain't outta my mouth by then forget it."
Zane

United States

#38004 Apr 5, 2013
If shrimp come off of a shrimp boat, then where do crabs come from?

A_: Off the Packing Heat's dingy.
JAG

United States

#38005 Apr 5, 2013
Two men died and went to Heaven.

St. Peter greeted them, and said "I`m sorry, gentlemen, but your mansions aren`t ready yet. Until they are, I can send you back to Earth as whatever you want to be."

"Great!" said Elohimsokie, "I want to be an eagle soaring above beautiful scenery!"

"No problem," replied St. Peter, and POOF! The guy was gone.

"And what do you want to be," St. Peter asked Zane

"I`d like to be one cool stud!" was the reply.

"Easy," replied St. Peter, and the other guy was gone.

After a few months (must be Repigs in heaven), their mansions were finished, and St. Peter sent an angel to fetch them back.

"You`ll find them easily," he says, "One of them is soaring above the Grand Canyon, and the other one is on a snow tire somewhere in Detroit!"
Justic

United States

#38006 Apr 5, 2013
Two men from Oklahoma were sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger
.
She gasped and gagged, and one Okie turned to the other and said, "That little gal is havin' a bad time. I'm a gonna go over there and help."

Packing Heat ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his big, Okie hands, and asked, "Kin ya swaller?"
Gasping, she shook her head no.

He asked, "Kin ya breathe?" Still gasping, she again shook her head no.

With that, he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her panties and licked her on the butt.

Misty was so shocked that she coughed up the piece of hamburger and began to breathe on her own.

The Okie sat back down with his friend and said, "Ya know, it's sure amazin' how that hind-lick maneuver always works."
Packing heat

United States

#38007 Apr 5, 2013
Three women worked in the same office with the same female boss.

Each day, Jesse left work early.

One day, the women decided that when Jesse left they would leave too. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?

Misty was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, had some playtime with her son, and went to bed early.

TAMARA was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.

Maddy was happy to get home early and surprise her husband. But when she got home, she heard a muffled noise coming from inside her bedroom.

Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss!

Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, Misty and TAMARA said they planned to leave early again, and they asked Maddy if she was going to go with them.

"No way," Maddy said. "I almost got caught yesterday!"
Stephen

United States

#38008 Apr 5, 2013
Maddyn started to work at a school as a teacher.

It came to break time, and while she was on duty she noticed a girl standing on her own and thought nothing of it.

Later in the day when lunch time came she noticed the same girl on her own again, while other children were enjoying a game of soccer.

She decided to go over to the girl and asked her if she was alright, the girl replied "Yes" and the teacher said "Why are you always on your own here?" to which the girl replied "Because I'm the goalie!"
Marcus

United States

#38009 Apr 5, 2013
TAMARA had just gotten a new sports car.

She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff.

The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does.

The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it.

Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling.

So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing.

He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down.

He demands, "What's so funny?"

She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
Marcus

United States

#38010 Apr 5, 2013
Maddy goes to work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"

Maddy replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the Old Hen, "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off and go relax."

Maddy very calmly states, "No I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. "If you need anything just let me know" says the boss.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Maddy. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically. He rushes over and asks, "What's the matter now? Are you going to be ok?"

Maddy breaks down in tears. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!"
Zane

United States

#38011 Apr 5, 2013
Misty was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?"

Misty replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex."

The man responds "Huh... that's interesting... Why did you name them such names?"

Misty sighs and shakes her head "Everyone keeps asking me the same thing... duhh, what else can you name your watch dogs??"
Donnie

United States

#38012 Apr 5, 2013
Jesse had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.

Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.

"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"

"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" Jesse chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" Jesse began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."

"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
TAMARA

United States

#38013 Apr 5, 2013
Little Donnie walked into his parents' bedroom while they were making love.

"What're you doing?" asked the child.

"Why,'er, we're playing poker, son," replied his father.

"What's mama doing?" "She's my partner."

Bobby ambled out of the bedroom, and as he walked down the hall, he heard noises in his sister Maddy's bedroom. He stopped, opened the door and discovered the girl having intercourse with her boyfriend.

"What're you doing?" asked Donnie.

"We're playing poker," replied his sister.

"And what about him?" asked the child, pointing to her sister's pal.

"He's my partner." The youngster left the room and went down the hall to the room of Packing Heat, his teenage brother, who was masturbating furiously.

"What are you doing?" asked the child.

"I'm playing poker," replied Packing heatr.

"Where's your partner?"

"Listen," said Packing Heat, "when you've got a good hand, you don't need a partner!"
Jesse

United States

#38015 Apr 5, 2013
There was three Repig Women at the University of Oklahoma. The Dean gave them the job of measuring the height of the new flagpole.

So they put the flag pole in the base and are then on ladders trying to measure the flagpole.

Finally an architect walks by and sees they are having trouble so he takes the pole out of the ground and lays it down and pulls out his tape measure and measures the pole. He writes the measurement on a piece of paper and walks away.

The Repig Women look at each other and say "Just like those damn architects, give us length when we wanted height.
Packing heat

United States

#38016 Apr 5, 2013
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only."

Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left.

Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
Zane

United States

#38017 Apr 5, 2013
Donnie wrote:
<quoted text>
Since that is the most likely explanation I hope her hemorrhoids which no doubt she has, develop into thrombosed and clotted. May a million Iranian fleas infest her armpit hair which I also have no doubt and may her vagina of rot and decay facilitate her early demise.
Let's hope it itches like hades before she expires!
Maddy

United States

#38018 Apr 5, 2013
Two couples were playing cards.

Marcus accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Zane's wife wasn't wearing any underwear!

Shocked by this, Marcus hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, Marcus went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Zane's's wife followed him and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"

Marcus admitted that, well, yes, he did.

She said, "You can have it, but it will cost you $100."

After a minute or two, Marcus indicates that he is interested.

She tells him that since Zane works Friday afternoons and Marcus doesn't, Marcus should come to her house around 2:00 pm on Friday.

Friday came and Marcus went to her house at 2:00 pm. After paying her $100 they went to the bedroom, had sex and then Marcus left.

Zane came home about 6:00 pm. He asked his wife, "Did Marcus come by this afternoon?"

Reluctantly, she replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes."

Next Zane asked, "Did Marcus give you $100?"

She thinks, "Oh hell, he knows!"

Finally she says, "Well, yes... he did give me $100."

"Good," Marcus says. "Zane came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me. He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back."
Misty

United States

#38019 Apr 5, 2013
Packing heat was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.

His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, "Some things you just can't explain.

This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was filled, the cow kicked it down with her left foot so I tied up her left foot to a pole.

I began to fill up the bucket again and she kicked it down with her right foot, so I tied her right to a pole too.

As soon as I finished milking her again she knocked down the bucket with her tail so I took off my belt and tied up her tail with my belt.

As I was tying up her tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain!
Zane

United States

#38024 Apr 5, 2013
Wonder what she named the baby she aborted?

Boy : Hezza Goner Janbaz
Girl: Sheza Goner Janbaz
Donnie

United States

#38025 Apr 5, 2013
Whoa, bet it's burning like hell, LOL
Justaminute

Oklahoma City, OK

#38029 Apr 6, 2013
Oh and all of you, my daughter has my tablet which I gave her as a gift when she got her full time job out of state and my husband's laptop is in the shop being fixed. All recorded proof. Don't think I don't think that this 'other' is not being used to incite you. That's the plan. Heat's plan. He said that he would take care of Justaminute two posts up from my troups and the General Overheated posts. This is his plan. And I reported it and his 'she has 2 laptops. I wonder how many times you have used those IP addresses Heat, because they will show.

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