OK Health Care Freedom Amendment, Sta...

OK Health Care Freedom Amendment, State Question 756

Created by CitizenTopix on Oct 11, 2010

1,604 votes

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Maddy

Dallas, TX

#37647 Apr 2, 2013
A woman called a local hospital. "Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected or getting worse."

The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room number?" "Mary Fallin, room 302." "I'll connect you with the nursing station."

"3rd floor Nursing Station. How can I help you?" "I'd like to know the condition of Mary Fallin in room 302." "Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Mrs. Fallin is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she's to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, Dr. Colburn is going to send her home Tuesday at noon."

The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic... that's wonderful news!" The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!" "Neither!... I'm Mary Fallin in 302!... Nobody tells me anything!"
Packing Heat

Dallas, TX

#37648 Apr 2, 2013
Marcus, a trucker, who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Oklahoma City. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a Baloney sandwich!!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen Darlin, I ain't horny, I'm homesick."
TAMARA

Dallas, TX

#37649 Apr 2, 2013
A beautiful, well endowed, young lady, called Misty, went to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looked about the store, she noticed a box full of frogs. The sign said: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! Comes with complete instructions." The girl excitedly looked around to see if anybody was watching her and whispered softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man packaged the frog and said, "Just follow the instructions carefully." The girl nodded, grabbed the box, and quickly went home.

As soon as she closed the door to her apartment, she read the instructions thoroughly and carefully. Then she followed the instructions to the letter:
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice-smelling perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy teddy.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog in the bed.

She quickly got into bed with the frog. To her surprise, nothing happened. The girl was totally frustrated and quite upset. She reread the instructions and noticed that, at the bottom of the page, there was a note. It said, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." So, the lady called the pet store. The man said, "I had some other complaints earlier today. I'll be right over."

Within five minutes, the man was ringing her doorbell. The lady welcomed him and said, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn frog just sits there." The man, looking very concerned, picked up the frog, stared directly into its eyes, and sternly said, "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"
Jangles

Dallas, TX

#37650 Apr 2, 2013
An aeroplane was taking off from Riverside Airport for Sin Island. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the Captain made an announcement over the intercom: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 666 for Sin Island. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY God!"

The passengers snapped to focused attention with a hint of terror on their faces. Silence followed.

After a few moments the Captain came back on the intercom and said "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry if I scared you earlier but, while I was talking to you, the flight attendant bought me a cup of coffee and accidentally spilled the hot coffee on my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

Stephen on a buying trip said to his travelling companion: "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"
Steven

Dallas, TX

#37651 Apr 2, 2013
My take on life---------

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
----------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
----------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
----------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
----------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
----------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
----------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
----------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
----------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
----------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
----------
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
----------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
----------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle the truth
Maddy

Dallas, TX

#37652 Apr 2, 2013
I am a woman and am not offended, it takes a sense of humor. Most don't have one, but what the hell, why try to humor something like that.
Jangles

Dallas, TX

#37653 Apr 2, 2013
Republicans like McCain truly care about you and other average Americans.

Haaaaa ha ha ha ha ha

Haaaaa ha ha ha ha ha

Haaaaa ha ha ha ha ha...
Jangles

Dallas, TX

#37654 Apr 2, 2013
Tulsa, Ok - I spent a year there one weekend working on a proposal. Actually I got selected for a "Career Advancement Opportunity" that ran for 18 months. What a dump. And I thought Mississippi stripped too many rights from an individual. I was wrong. I'm sure it was a nice place at one time, but the politicions (Repug idiots) have killed the place. What a shame, it must suck to be from there.
Maddy

United States

#37655 Apr 2, 2013
Fake Maddy wrote:
A woman called a local hospital. "Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected or getting worse."
The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room number?" "Mary Fallin, room 302." "I'll connect you with the nursing station."
"3rd floor Nursing Station. How can I help you?" "I'd like to know the condition of Mary Fallin in room 302." "Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Mrs. Fallin is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she's to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, Dr. Colburn is going to send her home Tuesday at noon."
The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic... that's wonderful news!" The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!" "Neither!... I'm Mary Fallin in 302!... Nobody tells me anything!"
Please don't post in my name I don't post in yours justaminute.
Maddy

United States

#37656 Apr 2, 2013
Fake Maddy wrote:
I am a woman and am not offended, it takes a sense of humor. Most don't have one, but what the hell, why try to humor something like that.
Fake Maddy aka Justaminute
Jangles

United States

#37657 Apr 2, 2013
Jangles wrote:
What do you get when you mate a Iranian Muslim to a overweight progressive liberal atheist?
A immigrant husband settling for the easiest way to stay in America so he can enjoy living in the TOP 5 FREEDOM LOVING STATES in the world.
Side effects for this union:
Late night posting from a lonely sasquatchy wife.
Husband who rather watch t.v. than talk to her.
No sex between them, that stopped when he gagged.
Husband spending more time at work or the goat shed
Read this post I posted earlier....to be continued.
Jangles

United States

#37658 Apr 2, 2013
Jangles wrote:
Ray the muslim Iranian Perry's Restaurant owner strokes his lovely partner. Their special time together doesn't last long enough he looks forward to seeing her and can't wait till work is over for the day. As he gently runs his hands down her legs his fingers massaging all her favorite places, his breathing intensifies, his pulse quickens. He grows excited for what he knows will happen.
She rubs against his hands accepting his caresses. Her gentle eyes look straight ahead waiting. Picking up a Velcro strap lined with soft material, he quickly bounds her legs, he smiles with anticipation. Mating with her never grows old. She has everything he needs, she understands his desires and is tolerant of he experiments. Legs strapped and spread enticingly, he grabs her soft hips firmly. Totally naked nothing but pure pleasure lies ahead for him. He feels like he will burst.
Suddenly, the quiet peace of the night is shattered by a grating discordant voice.
"Ray? Raaaaaaaaaay? Make sure you secure the gate when you leave the barn. Don't forget it took me 3 hours to catch that damn nanny goat last time she got out!"
The backdoor to the house slams shut. His wife sits back down in front of her computer and gazes with love and affection. Her favorite Rachel Maddow re-runs, life doesn't get any better!
Ray sighs, but refocuses his efforts, hurrying he mounts her, but his eagerness has made him less gentle than usual, she begins pulling from her bindings. Ray applies more pressure to her buttocks and hips to control her movement but she's young and not as experienced as the others. She panics not understanding why he is restricting her so forcefully. Ray is determined to not be denied, he prepares to force his way into her. As he lowers his body for her to receive him, she is overwhelmed by fear, she jerks one leg free. Ray grabs the leg and tries to enter her again. Leaning over her small body he doesn't notice her panic is increasing. His head lower focused on forcing his way into her small body he doesn't notice her head jerk up as she rears. Their heads collide in a vicious crack. Nearly knocked out Ray begins to fall toward the barn floor. Her leg finally released she kicks her slender leg hitting Ray solidly in the groin. Stars flash in front of his eyes. He retches grabbing himself, his hardness leaving him like a deflated balloon.
Story to be continued.....
Then I posted this one since justaminute likes to make personal attacks I decided every time she wants to engage in these practices then she can expect it back. I hope no one is offended. This post is in hopes justaminute can have a teachable moment and engage this thread not try to dominate will personal attacks. Or use other establish usernames as her own ghost riders.

We'll see how it goes...
Justaminute

Oklahoma City, OK

#37659 Apr 2, 2013
Jangles wrote:
<quoted text>
Then I posted this one since justaminute likes to make personal attacks I decided every time she wants to engage in these practices then she can expect it back. I hope no one is offended. This post is in hopes justaminute can have a teachable moment and engage this thread not try to dominate will personal attacks. Or use other establish usernames as her own ghost riders.
We'll see how it goes...
Says the guy that called me every name in the book, then he started in on my daughter as her and I as 'bull dykes."

And I'm sure he has said more since the name "Jangle' just appeared in the last couple of days.

Excuses, excuses from the wingnut wing that screams 'Family values, personal responsibility!

I have posted mainly politics your the hack that can't keep one name and has to go to another name over and over again because he doesn't want to be pinned with the words that he said before.
Justaminute

Oklahoma City, OK

#37660 Apr 2, 2013
Maddy wrote:
<quoted text>
Fake Maddy aka Justaminute
Because those posts sure do benefit the screamers. What else have you got if you didn't have that? You all are not very good at political arguments, that's for sure. All you have left are personal attacks.
Justaminute

Oklahoma City, OK

#37661 Apr 2, 2013
Maddy wrote:
<quoted text>
Please don't post in my name I don't post in yours justaminute.
I don't post in your name. What's funny if you look at the times of Justaminute posts and the 'other', I must never sleep, work or do anything else. But no body as ever said that you all are very bright.
Jangles

United States

#37662 Apr 2, 2013
Justaminute wrote:
<quoted text>
Says the guy that called me every name in the book, then he started in on my daughter as her and I as 'bull dykes."
And I'm sure he has said more since the name "Jangle' just appeared in the last couple of days.
Excuses, excuses from the wingnut wing that screams 'Family values, personal responsibility!
I have posted mainly politics your the hack that can't keep one name and has to go to another name over and over again because he doesn't want to be pinned with the words that he said before.
If the shoe fits your going to wear it. Welcome to Oklahoma where if you ask for it you just might get it with interest.

:-)
Jangles

United States

#37663 Apr 2, 2013
Justaminute wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't post in your name. What's funny if you look at the times of Justaminute posts and the 'other', I must never sleep, work or do anything else. But no body as ever said that you all are very bright.
You are a political hack who works with at least one partner I know of because I've traced the exact same posts using our threads usernames along with your special dialogue syntax to other threads in Oklahoma.

Go ahead an say you're sick with MS and sleep 20 hrs of every day but I know better.
Justaminute

Oklahoma City, OK

#37664 Apr 2, 2013
Plus if you all were the least bit computer literate, you would have noticed on a couple of occasions a big word filled post by the 'other' and a Justaminute's posted at the same time. How does that happen?


You'll never answer that but just go on and on. I go on vacation for a week and you geniuses think I spent it posting as the 'other.' Or at my business. That's why you don't have your own business that you think even at work, like I was on Sunday, I can spend it at the computer. It's a restaurant on Easter Sunday. So sad to be you.
Jangles

United States

#37665 Apr 2, 2013
Fake Jangles wrote:
Tulsa, Ok - I spent a year there one weekend working on a proposal. Actually I got selected for a "Career Advancement Opportunity" that ran for 18 months. What a dump. And I thought Mississippi stripped too many rights from an individual. I was wrong. I'm sure it was a nice place at one time, but the politicions (Repug idiots) have killed the place. What a shame, it must suck to be from there.
Alias justliar
Justaminute

Oklahoma City, OK

#37666 Apr 2, 2013
Jangles wrote:
<quoted text>
If the shoe fits your going to wear it. Welcome to Oklahoma where if you ask for it you just might get it with interest.
:-)
I've been in Oklahoma a lot longer than you been alive Jingle Jangle Jesse. If according to you that your 30 years old. Mentally it's more like 15, I'd say.

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