OK Health Care Freedom Amendment, Sta...

OK Health Care Freedom Amendment, State Question 756

Created by CitizenTopix on Oct 11, 2010

1,604 votes

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Donnie

United States

#37522 Mar 31, 2013
Jesse wrote:
I was talking about MistyGirl and her family!!!!
More sexual perversions like we don't know exactly who is behind the ghost riders....predictable and pathetic.
Marcus

United States

#37523 Mar 31, 2013
TAMARA suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redheaded Bluebird. Well, TAMARA is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

Donnie yells, "No, honey, don't do it."

TAMARA replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
Bluebird

United States

#37524 Mar 31, 2013
Mary Fallin was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead and ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

Mary Fallin replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
Bluebird

United States

#37525 Mar 31, 2013
Little Mary Fallin walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you sell wittle wabbits?"
And the shopkeeper smiles and gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, then asks, "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fwuwwy black wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle brown wabby over there?"
The little girl in turn puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pyfon weally gives a phuck"
Bluebird

United States

#37526 Mar 31, 2013
A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; it wouldn't be as much work as say a dog, and it would be fun to hear it speak.

She went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. She went to the owner of the store and asked how much. The owner said it was $50. Delighted that such a rare looking and beautiful bird wasn't more expensive, she agreed to buy it. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a whorehouse. Sometimes it says pretty vulgar stuff." The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird. She said she would buy it anyways. The pet shop owner sold her the bird and she took it home.

She hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad." A couple hours later, the woman's two teenage daughters returned from school. When they inspected the bird, it looked at them and said, "New house, new madam, new whores." The girls and the woman were a bit offended at first, but than began to laugh about the situation.

A couple of hours later, the woman's husband came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "New house, new madam, new whores; same old faces. Hi Marcus!"
Jesse

United States

#37527 Mar 31, 2013
Donnie wrote:
<quoted text>
More sexual perversions like we don't know exactly who is behind the ghost riders....predictable and pathetic.
No joke. I wonder if justaliar is a rape victim. She posted how much she disliked her Dad to Tamara and remember all the perverted accusations she throws towards people who aren't progressive liberal loons like her. Makes you wonder if part of her craziness isn't a result from abuse by the hand of a parent...a male parent.
JAG

United States

#37528 Mar 31, 2013
After being away on business, Donnie thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.
"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.
"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.
Maddy

United States

#37529 Mar 31, 2013
There was a German, an Italian and a
Republican on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:
1 To be shot.
2 To be hung.
3 To be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." (Boom, he was dead instantly).
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." (Snap, he was dead).
Then the Republican said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff."
They gave him the shot, and the Republican fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy. Then the Republican said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did.
Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over. Finally the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Republican replied, "You guys are so stupid.....I'm wearing a condom!"
Packing Heat

Vinita, OK

#37530 Mar 31, 2013
Jesse wrote:
<quoted text>
She's a lot smarter than most isn't she? I'd really like to meet her and her family one day bet their neat people!


Yes MistyGirl is by a long shot. MistyGirl has a lot more patience than I do as well. You can peek back around page 125 on this thread and see where I use to cuss Justanidiot like a bitch dog. MistyGirl has taught me how to behave better since I met her.

She is a very itteligent women to say the least.
Jesse

United States

#37531 Mar 31, 2013
Packing Heat wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes MistyGirl is by a long shot. MistyGirl has a lot more patience than I do as well. You can peek back around page 125 on this thread and see where I use to cuss Justanidiot like a bitch dog. MistyGirl has taught me how to behave better since I met her.
She is a very itteligent women to say the least.
She just so classy. Look at her posts then read just one of justaliar. Both females absolutely polar opposites!

Justaliar tried to make a big deal about me being 30 and never married, she tried to imply I was homosexual which I'm not and I told her,I hadn't been a virgin since early teen years. Doubt there are many males or females nowadays thats a virgin. See no reason to marry someone just because I'm a little older than someone thinks I should be. Stupid if you ask me. I'd rather wait find the right one, be lucky like my parents and married only one time..and happy :-)
Maddy

United States

#37532 Mar 31, 2013
A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to Packing Heat, JAG and TAMARA, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took Packing Heat to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." Packing Heat looked horrified and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."

So they brought JAG to the same door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to JAG. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." JAG looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. JAG came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her; I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."

"No," the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Now they only had TAMARA left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him." The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood TAMARA. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a bi*tch to death with the chair!"
TAMARA

United States

#37533 Mar 31, 2013
Donnie pulled over the Pickup by the side of the road and showed Zane where he'd first had sex.
"It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours," Donnie recalled.

"That sounds wonderful," said Zane.

"Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us."

"Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?"

"Baaaaa..."
Packing Heat

United States

#37534 Mar 31, 2013
A ventriloquist walked up to an Okie Repug and said "I'll bet I can make your horse talk."

Okie: "Horse no talk"

Ventriloquist: "Sure watch this. Hi horse. How does you master treat you?"

Horse: "Oh, he is good to me. He gives me food, water and he keeps me out of the sun."

Ventriloquist: "I'll bet I can make you dog talk."

Okie: "Dog no talk."

Ventriloquist: "Sure watch this. Dog, how are you? Does your master treat you good?"

Dog: "Oh! He treats me good. He gives me food, water and he plays ball with me."

Ventriloquist: "I'll bet I can make your sheep talk."

Okie: "Sheep Lie! Sheep Lie!"
Donnie

United States

#37535 Mar 31, 2013
Jesse wrote:
<quoted text>
No joke. I wonder if justaliar is a rape victim. She posted how much she disliked her Dad to Tamara and remember all the perverted accusations she throws towards people who aren't progressive liberal loons like her. Makes you wonder if part of her craziness isn't a result from abuse by the hand of a parent...a male parent.
The words sex and justaliar are not compatible. Nightmare instead of wet dream....just keepin it real!
Zane

United States

#37536 Mar 31, 2013
Why doesn't Mary Fallin wear a short dress?

Her balls would show.
Maddy

United States

#37537 Mar 31, 2013
Donnie was packing for a business trip, his 3 year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, he reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in his mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.

When he returned, his daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

He said, "What's wrong, honey?"

She replied, "What happened to my booger?"
JAG

United States

#37538 Mar 31, 2013
Marcus came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts." "That's it!" She blew her top! "You bas*tard! You waltz in here, flop your fat azz down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"

Marcus sighed, "Sh1t, it started..."
Marcus

United States

#37539 Mar 31, 2013
A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements.

He tells her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub your nipples and say,'Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies.'"

Maddy did this every day faithfully, and after several months, it worked. She grew great boobies!

One morning, she was running late. She was on the bus, when she realised she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point, she loved her new boobies and didn't want to lose them, she got up right in the middle of the bus and said "Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies!"

Donnie sitting nearby asked her, "Do you go to Dr. Smith, by any chance?"

"Why, yes, I do! How did you know?"

"Hickory dickory dock..."
TAMARA

United States

#37540 Mar 31, 2013
A doctor walks into his office to find a Marcus leaning heavily against the wall. "What's wrong with that man?" he asks his assistant.

"Well," the assistant replies. "He came in this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative!"

"You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" splutters the doctor.

"Yes, you can. Look at him... now he's afraid to cough!"
Maddy

United States

#37541 Mar 31, 2013
One day, Donnie came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before.

Curious, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying here on a cloud.

She spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Donnie figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.

She also spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Donnie saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.

She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Donnie really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.

"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Donnie couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed got the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar.

Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400-pound, 6'8" hairy biker-looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Donnie.

Apprehensively, Donnie whispers, "Who are you?" The biker answers, "I'm Cess."

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