OK Health Care Freedom Amendment, Sta...

OK Health Care Freedom Amendment, State Question 756

Created by CitizenTopix on Oct 11, 2010

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Packing heat

United States

#36927 Mar 20, 2013
Two deer hunters, JAG and Jesse were standing on a ridge near a highway in rural Oklahoma on the opening day of deer season. They both saw a trophy-class buck meandering towards them. JAG raised his gun to shoot, a funeral procession came slowly by.

JAG lowered his gun, took off his hat, and stood with his head bowed until the procession was past. Of course by then, the deer was long gone.

Jesse exclaimed "Wow! That was the most sportsmanlike act I've ever seen! You allowed this trophy buck to escape while showing such compassion and kindness toward someone's dearly departed. You are a great humanitarian and a shining example to sportsmen throughout the world!"

JAG nodded and said; "Well, it's the least I could do. We were married for 42 years."

United States

#36928 Mar 20, 2013
Packing Heat, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. Packing Heat suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act.

For $100, the cabby agreed. Quietly arriving at the house, Packing Heat and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the light, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man. Packing Heat put a gun to the naked man's head.

The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Hummer I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for your Green Bay Packer season tickets. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"

Shaking his head from side-to-side Packing Heat slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?" The cabby replied, "I'd cover his azz up with that blanket before he catches a cold!"

United States

#36929 Mar 20, 2013
Sister Mandy, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, there was a gas station was just a block away.
She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mandy was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.
She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mandy carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Hardshelled Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm turning Catholic."

United States

#36930 Mar 20, 2013
Little Mary Fallin was the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.'Tell me Mary Fallin, who created the universe?'

When Mary Fallin didn't stir, little Donnie who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

'God Almighty!' shouted Mary Fallin.
The Nun said,'Very good' and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Mary Fallin,'Who is our Lord and Savior?'

But Mary didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Donnie came to her rescue and stuck Mary Falline butt.

"Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Fallin and the Nun once again said,“Very good,” and Mary Fallin fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'

Again, Donnie came to the rescue.
This time Mary MFallin jumped up and shouted,'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted..........

United States

#36931 Mar 20, 2013
A 90-year old man, Donnie, said to his doctor, "I've never felt better... I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think of that?"

The doctor replied, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day he was in a hurry and picked up his umbrella by mistake.

When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver. He raised his umbrella and went "bang, bang, bang", and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year old Donnie said, "I'd say somebody else shot the beaver."

The doctor said, "My point exactly."

United States

#36932 Mar 20, 2013
n the back woods of Oklahoma, Mr. Packing Heat's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world.

"Whoa there Packy!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down... I think there's yet another wee one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby.

"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man... It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor.

The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor. "Do ye think it's the light that's attractin' them?"

United States

#36933 Mar 20, 2013
A very elderly JAG (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a
good after-shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.

Seated at the bar is an elderly Mandy, about mid

The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

United States

#36934 Mar 20, 2013
Sitting in a bar in Okie City are a Mexican, an Arab and a lovely, young Okie Governor, all enjoying a cool beer on a warm afternoon. The Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico, we make our glasses so cheap we don't need to drink from the same glass twice."

An Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."

The Okie Governor, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer and drinks it, throws her glass into the air, pulls out her gun and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi and catches her glass as it falls. She smiles sweetly and says, "In Okie land, we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice."
Packing Heat

United States

#36935 Mar 20, 2013
Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin was in Boston Monday to deliver the keynote address at Harvard University's conference on education, workforce development, and Marketing.

Buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING

However, people often ask her for a simple explanation of "Marketing" and she practices it very well.

Well, here it is:

1.You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Direct Marketing

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed."

That's Advertising.

3. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Telemarketing.

4. You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Public Relations.

5. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."

That's Brand Recognition.

6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.

That's a Sales Rep.

7. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

That's Tech Support.
Packing Heat

United States

#36936 Mar 20, 2013
Do nations learn from mistakes?

Today the United States is in deep debt, in part from the Iraq war, the continued fighting in Afghanistan and the general fight against terrorism. Then there’s the cost from the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression.

A decade ago the United States and it allies invaded Iraq because the Bush administration wanted to stop Saddam Hussein from building nuclear weapons, prevent the transfer of chemical or biological agents to terrorists, or end general support of terrorists, including al-Qaeda. Some officials just thought it was time to end the dictatorial regime. Take your pick.

Economic sanctions had not worked, and the Bush White House had convinced a majority of Americans that Saddam had ties to Osama bin Laden and the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.
“The truth is that for reasons that have a lot to do with the U.S. government bureaucracy, we settled on the one issue that everyone could agree on, which was weapons of mass destruction as the core reason,” Wolfowitz said more than a year later about the justification for the war, according to a Pentagon transcript of an interview he gave to Vanity Fair.

The fact is neither Wolfowitz nor Bush nor other senior policymakers knew much about Iraq’s culture and domestic politics. The result was that they totally underestimated the task being undertaken, which meant the loss of 4,400 U.S. service personnel and 32,000 wounded.

What many forget is that Iraq and Afghanistan also mark the first U.S. wars in which a president, first Bush and now President Obama, has not sought a war tax. The result: nearly $2 trillion in war expenditures put on the nation’s credit card.
Have those pushing for military action against Iran, North Korea or involvement in Syria mentioned asking taxpayers to support paying for such operations?

“There is a lot of money to pay for this that doesn’t have to be U.S. taxpayer money, and it starts with the assets of the Iraqi people. We are talking about a country that can really finance its own reconstruction and relatively soon,” Wolfowitz told the House Appropriations defense subcommittee on March 27, 2003, a week after the invasion began.

He certainly was wrong about that.

Lubbock, TX

#36939 Mar 21, 2013
Days after 9/11, 22-year-old Tomas Young enlisted to fight the enemies who had attacked America and killed 3,000 civilians.

Young's deployment was not to Afghanistan as he'd hoped, but to Iraq. Less than a week after he arrived, his vehicle was attacked by insurgents with AK-47s. His spine was severed. He lost the use of both legs, was in constant pain, and suffered erectile disfunction. A blood clot in 2008 deprived him of the use of much of his upper body and meant that his colon had to be removed and replaced with a colostomy bag.

His experience made him one of the most vocal critics of the Iraq war. He recently made the decision to stop taking nourishment, and die in a hospice, but not before unleashing a devastating blast against the architects of the war.

His 'Last Letter: A Message to George W. Bush and Dick Cheney From a Dying Veteran' has gone viral and been read and shared by hundreds of thousands of Americans.

I write this letter, my last letter, to you, Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney. I write not because I think you grasp the terrible human and moral consequences of your lies, manipulation and thirst for wealth and power. I write this letter because, before my own death, I want to make it clear that I, and hundreds of thousands of my fellow veterans, along with millions of my fellow citizens, along with hundreds of millions more in Iraq and the Middle East, know fully who you are and what you have done. You may evade justice but in our eyes you are each guilty of egregious war crimes, of plunder and, finally, of murder, including the murder of thousands of young Americans - my fellow veterans - whose future you stole.
My day of reckoning is upon me. Yours will come. I hope you will be put on trial. But mostly I hope, for your sakes, that you find the moral courage to face what you have done to me and to many, many others who deserved to live. I hope that before your time on earth ends, as mine is now ending, you will find the strength of character to stand before the American public and the world, and in particular the Iraqi people, and beg for forgiveness.

Lubbock, TX

#36941 Mar 21, 2013
At least Bush has to keep his brush cutting in Texas. If he leaves country he goes on trial -like the ones at Nuremburg . Shock and awe was the 21srt century blitz - attacking civilian populations in an open city ..

Lubbock, TX

#36942 Mar 21, 2013
Absolutely!----I am thinking of sending him a ticket to "The Hague"---I'll tell him that he & Cheney won some kind of "ruler of the century award or something"---Then as soon as he gets off of the plane........The handcuffs go on!!!
Packing Heat

Lubbock, TX

#36943 Mar 21, 2013
Yeah - As a patriot he should have done like Dick Cheney, Mitt Romney and Ted Nugent - avoided military service. Or if he was a real patriot he could have done like GW Bush did and have his daddy get him into the air national guard. This guy just went out and served his country and got maimed and now expects people to think he is a patriot. The nerve of him. Being horribly disabled in the service of his country and then actually using his first amendment rights to voice his opinion. Thanks God Mitt Romney's sons would never do something like that.

United States

#36944 Mar 21, 2013
Justaliar keeps posting about Cheney and Bush and totally ignores what's happened in the last 4 going on 5 years.

How about prez who draws a paycheck of $400k a year but doesn't even do his job? But somehow he never misses a golf game or vacation date? Always has his pick of teams in March Madness.

Justaliar is a liberal lying hack!

United States

#36945 Mar 21, 2013
Colorado passes gun control bill and Hickenlooper signed it yesterday. Today Magpul announces it's moving out, LOL.

Connecticut is in process of passing gun control bill. Colt which has been there for 175 years says it no longer feels welcomed. Approximately 700 jobs if this company relocates.

None of the legislation addresses what the REAL ISSUE is in what happened in Colorado, Connecticut,Gabby Giffords case, the real issue is mental health. Crazy people and cars,plane,guns,or any other "tool" isn't a good combination.

Arlington, TX

#36946 Mar 21, 2013
Most, if not all, repugs are batshit crazy and do not need a gun.
Packing Heat

Arlington, TX

#36947 Mar 21, 2013
""""Magpul announces it's moving out!!!!!""" "

Let them move to Texas or Arizona or Oklahoma and join the batshit crazies there.

Colt needs to move there also. Batshit crazy gun nuts.

Plano, TX

#36948 Mar 22, 2013
That would sure be a lot of fertilizer moving to ARizona.
Packing Heat

Vinita, OK

#36949 Mar 22, 2013
Obama rated 5th Best U S President

Of the total of 44 US Presidents: Obama rated 5th best president ever. I was just reading a Democratic publicity release that said...
"after a little more than 4 years, Obama has been rated the 5th best president ever."

These are the details according to the White House:

* Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and 7 others tied for first,

* 15 presidents tied for second,

* 17 other presidents tied for third,

* Jimmy Carter came in 4th, and

* Obama came in fifth

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