How do Michigan students pass quizzes? They are given an online computer, and taught how to spell "Google."<quoted text>
Is that the best you can come up with? Probably so, Buckeye fans aren't known for their intelligence. You can do better though, I think. Give it your best shot.
Q. What's the difference between a Michigan education and an OSU education?
A. You actually learn something besides how to crumble under pressure at Michigan
Q. What happens when a blonde moves from Michigan to Ohio?
A. Both states get smarter
Q. Why do OSU grads hang their diplomas from their rear view mirrors?
A. So they can park in the handicapped spaces.
Q. What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbus?
A. Ann Arbor: 187 miles
An OSU alum and a UM alum are standing next to each other in the men's room. The UM grad finishes first and heads for the door. The OSU grad says, "At the Ohio State University, they teach us to wash our hands after we use the bathroom."
Unimpressed, the UM alum says, "At the University of Michigan, they teach us not to piss on our hands."
Q. What is 100 yards long and has 2 front teeth?
A. The front row at Ohio State Stadium.
Q. How many Ohio State freshmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. It's an upper-level course, with prerequisites.
Q. Why aren't OSU cheerleaders allowed to do splits?
A. They stick to the ground.
Q. Why does the wind blow South in Michigan?
A. Ohio sucks!
Q. Did you hear about the power outage at Ohio State's library?
A. A dozen students were stuck on the escalator for several hours.
Q. Did you hear about the fire at Ohio State's library?
A. Both books were destroyed. And what's worse, one of them hadn't even been colored in yet.
Q. Why do OSU students wear hats all the time?
A. So they know which end to wipe.
Q. You're stranded on a deserted island with three people: a cannibal, a mass murderer, and a guy in an Ohio State hat. You have a gun with only two bullets remaining. Whom do you shoot?
A. The Ohio State guy. Twice.
Q. What's a Buckeye?
A. A nut that always cracks under pressure.