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1 - 12 of 12 Comments Last updated Jul 17, 2013
jst

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#1
Feb 20, 2013
 
Me and my daughters father were never married. When she was born he wasn't around. I gave her my last name. At 2 he took me to court for DNA test and visitation. He sees her but now at 7 years old he wants her last name changed. What are the chances of a judge going with him? When she has had the same name for 7 years and has so many documents, a savings account, life insurance policies, medical records, school records, everything that would have to be changed?

Since: Feb 13

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#2
Mar 14, 2013
 
jst wrote:
Me and my daughters father were never married. When she was born he wasn't around. I gave her my last name. At 2 he took me to court for DNA test and visitation. He sees her but now at 7 years old he wants her last name changed. What are the chances of a judge going with him? When she has had the same name for 7 years and has so many documents, a savings account, life insurance policies, medical records, school records, everything that would have to be changed?
If he has stepped up to the plate and she knows that he's her father....he has that right even though you aren't married.
jst

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#3
Mar 14, 2013
 
Even if at age 7 she wants her name to stay the way it is? I have tried to prepare her for the change but she's not taking it well. She gets very upset about it and just pops in here head. Random thoughts of it she bursts into tears. I mean its just alot of work for me but its not what she wants.

Since: Feb 13

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#4
Mar 26, 2013
 
jst wrote:
Even if at age 7 she wants her name to stay the way it is? I have tried to prepare her for the change but she's not taking it well. She gets very upset about it and just pops in here head. Random thoughts of it she bursts into tears. I mean its just alot of work for me but its not what she wants.
Maybe you and the biological dad could sit down together and talk with her. Let him see how she feels about her last name being changed. Most good dads are gonna love their children enough to put their feelings and emotional well being above their own sense of pride and egotistical thinking. Explain to him that as she gets older that he can suggest the "name change" situation to her again. Right now she is only a child...as she gets older and spends more time with him, she may change her mind. Just inform him that you are not against it and the two of you talk rationally while discussing it with her.
Woman Be Known

Steelville, MO

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#5
May 29, 2013
 
jst wrote:
Me and my daughters father were never married. When she was born he wasn't around. I gave her my last name. At 2 he took me to court for DNA test and visitation. He sees her but now at 7 years old he wants her last name changed. What are the chances of a judge going with him? When she has had the same name for 7 years and has so many documents, a savings account, life insurance policies, medical records, school records, everything that would have to be changed?
What of you? Are you planning to change your name? If so then the child should have the fathers last name. Also ever tried asking the father what the child says about her changing last name. It might be different if she feels like she "has to act a certain way" for you. Just saying I've seen it.
tell the truth

Steelville, MO

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#7
Jun 6, 2013
 
jst wrote:
Me and my daughters father were never married. When she was born he wasn't around. I gave her my last name. At 2 he took me to court for DNA test and visitation. He sees her but now at 7 years old he wants her last name changed. What are the chances of a judge going with him? When she has had the same name for 7 years and has so many documents, a savings account, life insurance policies, medical records, school records, everything that would have to be changed?
Nichole tell the truth. YOU kept him away bc he didn't want to be in a "relationship" with someone like you. YOU gave her your last name bc YOU wanted control. When she was 2 YOU went after childsupport and paternity to get childsupport bc you ran out of state aid. He MORE than sees her, he does everything for her. Documents can be changed. You act like you know how she feels about her name, but you don't. YOU are responsible for putting her in this position. Try telling the truth and quit acting like a fool.
tell the truth

Steelville, MO

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#8
Jun 6, 2013
 
jst wrote:
Even if at age 7 she wants her name to stay the way it is? I have tried to prepare her for the change but she's not taking it well. She gets very upset about it and just pops in here head. Random thoughts of it she bursts into tears. I mean its just alot of work for me but its not what she wants.
Te the truth. YOU aren't preparing her, YOU are making her feel bad about it. She comes home where she gets real support of all of her family and tells everyone what is said and done to her. You just want to keep trying to control. It just bites your ass doesn't it?
tell the truth

Steelville, MO

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#9
Jun 6, 2013
 
Woman Be Known wrote:
<quoted text>What of you? Are you planning to change your name? If so then the child should have the fathers last name. Also ever tried asking the father what the child says about her changing last name. It might be different if she feels like she "has to act a certain way" for you. Just saying I've seen it.
She supposedly is engaged AGAIN. So more than likely she will change her name IF she ever gets married. NO she has NOT asked. In fact she can't talk to the father about ANYTHING with out trying to make sure she has some control. She still can't get over her anger. It's sad. The poor child has to act one way with her and gets to be free to be herself with her father. You should hear the stuff the child says!
bearded betty weinkein

Ballwin, MO

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#10
Jul 12, 2013
 
go see a mediator
the other woman

Steelville, MO

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#11
Jul 13, 2013
 
bearded betty weinkein wrote:
go see a mediator
Mediation has been done 7 times. Mother will not honor or obey any custody agreement.(Mediation always gets signed by judge)
Hmm

Jackson, MO

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#12
Jul 14, 2013
 
jst wrote:
Me and my daughters father were never married. When she was born he wasn't around. I gave her my last name. At 2 he took me to court for DNA test and visitation. He sees her but now at 7 years old he wants her last name changed. What are the chances of a judge going with him? When she has had the same name for 7 years and has so many documents, a savings account, life insurance policies, medical records, school records, everything that would have to be changed?
He can only have her name changed if he adopts her. Been there with my own son.
the other woman

Steelville, MO

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#13
Jul 17, 2013
 
Hmm wrote:
<quoted text>He can only have her name changed if he adopts her. Been there with my own son.
He doesn't have to adopt. For legal purposes it can be requested. He had joint legal and physical custody and is more involved with the child than the custodial parent. He also takes care of all the expenses. That he doesn't take care of her mom is on welfare for. The reason for the name change is 1. The child wants her name to reflect both parents. 2. There have been SEVERAL mess ups on the child and the fathers names on documents and medical prescriptions due to the presumption that child carry the fathers surname. 3. A judgement can be passed at paternity setting both parents last names if need be. It was an error on the first attorneys part that it was not done.

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