AUTISM EMERGENCY for Tomahawk, Lincoln County!!! URGENT!!!

Posted in the Wisconsin Forum

“Cook County Mail Authority”

Since: May 13

Chicago, IL

#1 Jun 2, 2013
As it appears, we seem unable to keep an autistic POS trashface named Michael Crenshaw from leaving his quarantine in our west suburban service area of Cicero, and travelling the entire WORLD! An entire article of the slimeface can be found at http://www.mysuburbanlife.com/2012/01/18/out-...

We intercepted, opened, and examined two pieces of mail delivered to the creep's residence just a couple of days ago, one apparently containing some newspaper called the "Tomahawk Leader" and another which contained a letter from some weird-ass place called "Sure-Wood Forest Campgrounds."

As Michael is known to frequent bars, disco clubs, and other similar places, especially places with young and physically attractive females, we can not seem to locate this "Sure-Wood Campground" or whatever the heck it is, and we don't know which bar or bars he frequents, we are issuing an Autism Emergency for ALL areas within a 25 mile radius of the city of Tomahawk, Wisconsin. This includes ALL bars, restaurants, taverns, nightclubs, beaches, lakes, parks, and ALL public-use ways. Autistic people are the WORST disease to EVER happen to society. They are worse than the absolute worst PEDOPHILES and SEX PREDATORS in the world! Worse than Ted Bundy, worse than John Wayne Gacy, they are TOTALLY uncontrollable, requiring a takedown with maximum lethal force! If you don't believe us, you better take a good long look at one of numerous pictures we found located at http://www.facebook.com/photo.php...

Additionally, Autism is TREMENDOUSLY contagious! Autism is a viral disease of the brain and nervous system, transmitted by air, water, and most easily through surfaces (tables, chairs, walls, ceilings, floors, furniture, and such) that have been touched and/or breathed on by an autistic person. The Autism virus is easily capable of living up to 15 months on contaminated surfaces, depending on whether the surface is hard (such as a wooden table/chair) or soft/made of fabric (such as a couch.) Once infected with Autism, the virus ruthlessly attacks the entire brain and nervous system, turning otherwise normal people into psychopaths and zombies!

Dangit! He allready tried to relocate himself to freaking Fort Myers/Cape Coral, Florida! We know that because we intercepted and destroyed a letter mailed to the creep about a stinky-ass apartment that opened for him. We intercepted it just before it would have been delivered to the Cicero Post Office. And we are keeping a tight noose on the psychopath should he try something else to relocate to Florida! And now he is contaminating freaking rural NORTHERN WISCONSIN!!! And especially as all of Tomahawk's lakes are apparently connected, in one way or another, to the Wisconsin River, so now everyone has to fear Autism contamination on the Wisconsin River and possibly even most of the Mississippi River.

“Cook County Mail Authority”

Since: May 13

Chicago, IL

#2 Jun 3, 2013
Update; We looked up this Sure-Wood campground. And it is located right on the north shores of Lake Alice.

And Michael, if you happen to be reading this, guess what? We even heard that cameras are PROHIBITED within the campgrounds! Even that, not only are the campgrounds private property; they are also protected by Federal and International Copyright! That means, if you try to bring your camera into this Surewood Campground area, you can face up to five years in prison! Five years plus even possibly a $250,000 fine, for copyright infringement. And guess what else! Put them on the Internet (including Facebook), and you can also be charged with piracy!

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Wisconsin Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Ban on Gay Marriage in Wisconsin (Nov '06) Apr 16 Sneaky Pete 24
News Labor faces a moment of truth (Feb '11) Apr 13 Almost amish 20,668
News Wisconsic Agency Bans Talk of Climate Change Apr 11 SpaceBlues 2
News Scott Walker Appointee Suggests Volcanoes Might... Apr 10 SpaceBlues 1
News Steven Walters: E-cigarette popularity lights u... Mar 31 gravytrain 2
News 5Wisconsin's bar-to-grocery store ratio puts th... (May '14) Mar 30 Almost amish 7
News Scott Walker's gloomy pitch for the presidency Mar 30 Lamer 26
More from around the web