Men that are Not The Biological Fathe...
Jim

Bristol, CT

#22 Dec 17, 2012
I am in a similar situation and have to pay child support for the child of my ex girlfriend who I had dated for a year and a half. I'm 33. When I met her, she was 25 at the time and had a 4 year old daughter from another man who was abusive to her. Needless to say he eventually disappeared as she was pregnant and attempted to leave him.

She and I were very much in love with eachother and I felt that she needed help with her daughter. I would often babysit her, care for her when I was out with my girlfriend and helped with some expenses for her. Also, I bought her both birthday and Christmas presents. It didn't take that much to help and the expenses were pretty much taken care of by my girlfriend who worked part time.

It became apparent at one point that things in our life were not gelding as we would argue about the future. We eventually broke up and ended our relationship on a mutually respectful matter.

8 months later, I was served with a court order to assume child support responsibilities! My ex girlfriend had tried to apply for welfare assistance in raising her.

As she had never attempted to go after her ex for child support, when she applied for assistance, paternity support records were checked and it was determined that as I had been providing for her child financially as well as giving her "fatherhood" emotional support that I consented to legally assuming the role of father by default!

When I attempted to fight this case, even with DNA evidence proving I was not the father, the judge ruled that biological paternity was irrelevant in this case as it was based upon assuming responsibility for the "best interests of the child" not due to actually being the father.

I was ordered to pay 500 dollars a month plus all medical insurance expenses til she is 18! The most ironic part of this is that my ex didn't even want this, it was FORCED by the system. Also, if my salary increases, so do my child support amounts. Plus she can even apply for more if she deems it necessary.

Not to mention that the money I have been paying her does not have any restrictions on use! Despite her initial refusal of this money, she now is very enthusiastic about receiving it and gets on my case every now and then about it. I could go to jail if I miss payments and she'll once in a while remind me of this!

She has a decent job and was able to provide for her daughter well herself. She has moved across the country and now lives in a 1200 dollar a month apartment together with her new boyfriend and daughter.

Needless to say I now hate her with a passion and am forced to pay a large sum of my livelyhood to this single mother I dated for a year and a half! All I did was be a good boyfriend, help her with her daughter from time to time and watched her.

Being a nice guy cost me everything, while this complete asshole who knocked her up, beat her up and left her high and dry gets off scot-free.
govanny

Brooklyn, NY

#24 Jan 16, 2013
so my dad abandoned me and my mom after i was born,i came to the united stated and after that i haven't heard from him , my question is after all this year now that i am 21 can i get any money from him since i never received anything from him?. he lives in Ecuador.
stacy

United States

#25 Jan 29, 2013
My fiance have a girl saying that he father her child. They did da DNA test and went to court. But haven't told him that he's da father but he have to pay $235 every month. Can that happened without even knowing
Josh

United States

#26 Jan 30, 2013
Yea my name wasn't even on the DNA test, just the mother and the daughter...tell me how odd that is.... She tried to make me believe the company screwed up...ha right.
tom dick and harry

United States

#27 Jan 30, 2013
Steve wrote:
<quoted text>
Don't be too quick to praise California. There's a case where a minor boy was forced to pay child support to his statutory rapist. The rapist is raising the victim's child. Lovely world, no?
This happen to my cousin. At the tender age of twelve he got an older teen pregnant. It is not unfair. Any kid at that age should not be having sex, and should learn a lesson by paying child support once he turns 18. Where are your values and how would you hold this little asshs accountable?
tom dick and harry

United States

#28 Jan 30, 2013
A DNA test should ALWAYS be done, and the real father must support the child. Pretty soon men will have a contraception pill, and they will be able to decide who they want to have children with. Women like these will lose their power. Can't wait for that to happen.
JJS

Fenton, MO

#29 Feb 12, 2013
Ok so I have a question. When found out I was pregnant it was a possibility of 2 men. I was already 15 weeks preggo at the time. I was honest with both men about the situation, one of which was my ex but we had recently been seeing each other again. I really thought he was my sons father due to the fact he and I didnt use protection, and me and the other guy did...Anyway my ex decided that he was going to step up. The other guy made no attempt to do anything and refused a DNA test. My ex was there and still is for everything. To this day my ex is a wonderful father to my 3 year old. He even signed the birth certificate without getting a DNA test. No one in either of our families knows that there maybe a possibility of him not being the father. MY CONCERN IS THIS...I don't ask him for child support but it could really help me out. He see's our son everyother weekend and 1 or 2 time each week. If we went to court to establish custody rights what are the chances that the court would order child support? Everytime I bring up child support with him he gets very angry and says you don't want to take me to court. My fear is my son would lose in the end just because he doesn't want to pay? Any suggestions or advice would be great. I live in Missouri
JJS

Fenton, MO

#30 Feb 12, 2013
CONTINUED...That is if its found he is NOT the father
ajr

Lincoln, NE

#31 Feb 19, 2013
My ex and I were not married when we had our son I was 18 wen I got pregnant and he was 20 I had been in a relationship right before I met him and had broken it off due to abue, well then we were pretty crazy inlove and then I was 4 weeks pregnnt and we were together then but it was close by all means and my ex husband knew that there was a chance it wasnt his but when the nurse came in and explained the paternity afidavit to him and me we both stupidly signed it with out getting a paternity test oh and this in Iowa, my son is 10 yrs ol and my ex and I did eventually get married 2yrs later but only lasted 11 months he had lost his sister and then became very abusive and was gone and drinking and then the last call was when he beat the living crap out of me in front of my son and then it was over and done we got ivoriced and at the beginning things were good for him to get my son and it has slowly dwindled away and he has paid child support 250 a month no medical nothing else and he only pays when it is convient which is fine with me I dont complain about it and or i have never kept him from seeing my son. two years ago he had a girlfriend who started pushing him to do more as a father and then he threatened to go to court to get all the things we had changed and then went crazy and then I spoke to him and things calmed down and we agreed on alot of stuff that he and his gf were wanting which were stupid things like time and what not and him calling and talking to my son more so on and so forth well I was fine with it it last one weekend and that was it then the girlfriend broke up and left him. Well now he has another new one and we are going to court for a modification which no I have no idea what the heck he is wanting to modify but hello I have always worked with him with anything but whatever. Iam married for 4years now to my wonderful husband and my son has called him dad for the past 5 years now on his own accord. My husband wants to adopt him and just have nothing to do with my ex because in the past two years his drinking problem has been an issue with him not having a drivers license, and then allowing his friends who are drinking to drive my son around and then safety wih my son not wearing a helmet to ride his four wheeler that he has and I bought a helmet and sent it down and he has already wrecked multiple times along with themany times he has not showed up anyways its just gettng to the point wher its old and I think we made a wrong decision with agreeing to sign the paternity affidavit and Iam more than willing to make the payments that he has pid in child support back to him not a problem but I do not want my son to get hurt or die along with my son commented to me a few days ago that he doesnt feel that my ex is his dad since he was like 7 and didnt know why he felt that way.Iam wanting to just have him sign his rights over and let my husband do a step parent adoption but im afraid he will fight a bit due to his girlfriend and want to do a paternity which is fine i will and if he is 100% or whatever then fine we will go through which ever but if he is not Idont want the court to not let him due to I dont care to inform the possible biological father due to he has his own life and family and I dont want to disturb that and my husband wants him I want to let him out and pay him back just want my son to have a good life and no more back and forth and I dont want him to get hurt or die anyone have any advice please help!! and all of this is in Iowa
James

Missouri City, TX

#32 Mar 3, 2013
I currently have to pay nearly $400,000 for arrearage or whatever they called and interest and a laundry list of other fees for a kid thats about 5 years old that I recently had a dna test confirm that im not the father of. The kicker is I never slept with the woman. She knew a friend of mine that I would let stay at my house. She filed it on me back when the child was born but I basically ignored the attempts to get me to court since I traveled and worked alot. Well now the state finally started cracking down and now it's affecting me I decided to try to go straighten everything out. Well the only thing they would tell me was that they would stop future payments but I still owe the old stuff. Yet she knows who the real father is she just told me she wouldn't get any money from him because he is broke. Wow. And the judge also treated me like im a dead beat father, yet I myself have no kids and think its ridiculous that all a woman has to do is put a name down and hope he doesn't come to court. I cant even afford the amount they want. I don't have that kind of money anymore and the state wont adjust it
TN NOT dad

Ooltewah, TN

#34 Mar 27, 2013
My wife and I were married for 9 years. Unbeknownst to me, she had two affairs during the marriage resulting in two children. We separated and she lost custody of the children to her mother due to substance abuse issues, after which her mother sued me for child support (successfully) and immediately quit her job as an RN after she was awarded child support. I took a DNA test proving I was not the father of either child. However, the court says that I was a "de facto" father since all children are assumed to be products of the marriage whether it is proven false or not. The mother (my ex) was also sued for child support by her own mother. Because of her substance abuse issues, she has not held a job and paid, and thus will soon be jailed on contempt charges, while I am left holding a steady job as always, paying for my former mother-in-law's daughter's illegitimate children. Cute.$1000 a month for the next 10 years, then $500 a month for 5 years following that. I'll never be involved with another woman again as long as I live because the system allows women to have affairs on their faithful husbands, live off social services, develop chemical addictions, then their family can take over where they left off and soak you for life.
Equality for women

Gainesville, GA

#37 Jun 14, 2013
JJS wrote:
Ok so I have a question. When found out I was pregnant it was a possibility of 2 men. I was already 15 weeks preggo at the time. I was honest with both men about the situation, one of which was my ex but we had recently been seeing each other again. I really thought he was my sons father due to the fact he and I didnt use protection, and me and the other guy did...Anyway my ex decided that he was going to step up. The other guy made no attempt to do anything and refused a DNA test. My ex was there and still is for everything. To this day my ex is a wonderful father to my 3 year old. He even signed the birth certificate without getting a DNA test. No one in either of our families knows that there maybe a possibility of him not being the father. MY CONCERN IS THIS...I don't ask him for child support but it could really help me out. He see's our son everyother weekend and 1 or 2 time each week. If we went to court to establish custody rights what are the chances that the court would order child support? Everytime I bring up child support with him he gets very angry and says you don't want to take me to court. My fear is my son would lose in the end just because he doesn't want to pay? Any suggestions or advice would be great. I live in Missouri
Share the child with equal time - that way everything is equal and there is no need for either of you to pay child support to the other.
Roger rabbit

Moreno Valley, CA

#38 Jun 26, 2013
I'm also a victim in California lied to bad thing is 3 other guys was also but I got stuck with the bill he had 3 sets of grand parents within a 3 mile radius go figure I will continue to fight ill never stop pissed in California
f l p

Morrisville, PA

#41 Aug 21, 2013
So how do we stand against this? The US judicial system is such that it devalues fathers. No wonder fathers don't want to step up. How do we battle this bogus law?
joy

Kenmore, WA

#44 Sep 22, 2013
My mother in law hate me so much that she wanted me out of my husband house because i have been unable to give her a grandchild i never knew what to do one day when i was at my working place a friend of my told me about how she had a spell cast on her by this man named Adodo and after which her life came back to normal so i chosen to give him a trier which i did contacted him on his email: [email protected] after which he get back to me and told me what i need to do and also how my problem was going to be solve and after 1month i started seeing changes in me i and so happy now that i can now give birth to my own child and my mother in law is now happy with me since i have been pregnant for her son.
Bryan

Culver City, CA

#46 Oct 2, 2013
I believe I can assist you. I'm originally from TN myself. I live in California at the moment. I've live in California for 25 years. If you are interested email me at: [email protected]
TN NOT dad wrote:
My wife and I were married for 9 years. Unbeknownst to me, she had two affairs during the marriage resulting in two children. We separated and she lost custody of the children to her mother due to substance abuse issues, after which her mother sued me for child support (successfully) and immediately quit her job as an RN after she was awarded child support. I took a DNA test proving I was not the father of either child. However, the court says that I was a "de facto" father since all children are assumed to be products of the marriage whether it is proven false or not. The mother (my ex) was also sued for child support by her own mother. Because of her substance abuse issues, she has not held a job and paid, and thus will soon be jailed on contempt charges, while I am left holding a steady job as always, paying for my former mother-in-law's daughter's illegitimate children. Cute.$1000 a month for the next 10 years, then $500 a month for 5 years following that. I'll never be involved with another woman again as long as I live because the system allows women to have affairs on their faithful husbands, live off social services, develop chemical addictions, then their family can take over where they left off and soak you for life.
Bryan

Culver City, CA

#47 Oct 2, 2013
Hello Sir,

I believe I can assist you. Feel free to email me at: [email protected]
Roger rabbit wrote:
I'm also a victim in California lied to bad thing is 3 other guys was also but I got stuck with the bill he had 3 sets of grand parents within a 3 mile radius go figure I will continue to fight ill never stop pissed in California
In Texas

Katy, TX

#48 Oct 12, 2013
I have a boyfriend who I have been with for almost 9 years. since we met, he and I have done dna on both of his kids. the son was proven not to be his at age 11 and the daughter was. but the courts say since he raised the child and his name is on the birth certificate he has to pay child support and medical insurance til he is 18 or graduates, which he turns 18 on nov 30th and yet he wont graduate til june...so we have to pay til he has paperwork stating he actually graduated high school. so it doesnt just stop at 18 or graduation! and in our case we have to keep paying the same amount due to circumstances til the daughter graduates in 2017 and so we arent able to remove the son from child support...the mom wont let us have our visitation because we did dna on the son (she got mad her secret got exposed!) we havent seen the kids in 5 years. she has also moved 12x in 9 years and refuses to give us a address...but if we dont pay child support he goes to jail. the son has another man listed as his father on facebook and yet he doesnt have to pay a dime for his son...if he is even his...the moms family told us she slept with over 100 black men and my boyfriend isnt black...that should have been his 1st clue but he was stupid and believed her when she said oh its your baby! personally i think the law sucks..I think if you are proven NOT to be the father...then you shouldnt have to pay! i think it should fall back on the mother. and for those of you who had the nerve to comment and say the man is stupid...dont judge til you walk these steps...its been a nightmare raising someone else's child and paying on a kid that isnt ours! I worked for a lady a few yrs ago, her husband got a notice to be in court for him to pay child support on a boy. he blew it off and said i dont have a kid with her...turns out his high school sweetheart got pregnant and never told him for 12 years...since he didnt show up in court the judge said he has to pay back child support, then child support til age 18 and medical insurance and had never known or seen the child and didnt even do dna..and he was screwed too. so it happens in Tx also!!! I feel for others going thru what we are!
Keisha

San Jose, CA

#49 Nov 4, 2013
I MADE A PROMISE TO PRIEST JAYEMA THAT IF HE CAN PROVE HIMSELF TO ME THAT HE IS REAL BY MAKING MY EX TO COME BACK TO ME I WILL MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW OF HIS GREAT POWER AND HOW GOOD HE IS, I'M HERE TO SHARE WITH YOU OUT THERE THAT HE IS REAL HE HAS PROVEN HIS SELF TO ME HE BROUGHT EX BACK TO ME WITHIN THE PERIOD OF 48HOURS AND I MAKING SURE I KEEP MY PROMISE TO HIM BY PUTTING IT TO WORK BY LETTING THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW THAT HE IS REAL AND HE CAN FIX YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITHIN THE PERIOD OF 48HOURS JUST AS HE BROUGHT MY EX BACK TO ME, BE SURE HE WILL BE PLEASED TO HELP YOU BECAUSE HE IS REAL AND HE WANT THE WHOLE WORLD TO KNOW THAT HE IS REAL. HERE HIS CONTACT [email protected]

I AM REALLY PLEASED I FINALLY GOT MY EX BACK ALL THANKS TO PRIEST JAYEMA FOR HIS HELP ( [email protected] )
Outraged

Branson, MO

#58 Dec 23, 2013
I am a single mother ... I am outraged ... Women that do this to a man are a disc race and should be accountable for the lives they ruin. The money should be returned with interest and they should go to jail if they do not pay . This madness has to end ... We all must own our past ... I have three children my oldest son's father is unknown ... So what ya I made a mistake one day and my son has never known his biological father because in big enough to admit that I don't know ... But it doesn't matter he is loved and taken care of. My girls father loves him like his own but I have never made that man adopt him which is good because we divorced ... I could not look at my self in the mirror knowing I was forcing a man to pay child support for a child he adopted in a marriage that didn't last ... If there apart of the child's life because they want to be it is far more meaningful then if they have to be held to a fire they didn't start. My current relationship he is being held to that fire to support a child through a marriage that didn't last ... A second that might not be his and a third that was just born that has no father... even though he has had no intimate contact with this loon for 6 years !!! Women need to be held to the fire as well ... Appeal any judge that says otherwise ... Fight for your personal rights ...take them to civil court as well sue then for your back support ... Appeal the discussion that is not just ... Write congress write the Supreme Court this thred should be pasted on their desk ... No more will American hard working men be held accountable for someone else's responsibility ... I'm a women and think other women that shame themselves this way are the reason out society has problems ... You slept with someone ... Or someones ...(at least 85% did knowing they could get pregnant by not us using both control...the other 15 improperly used birth control) You got pregnant ... You had a baby ( your choice right or wrong your religion does not matter.. You had a baby) decided to keep that baby as your own ... And after all those choices that led to this little person in your arms you falsely maliciously obligate someone you know may not be the father of this child to take care of it financially. How in the world did this happen to the justice system ... Demand a change !!!

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