Parole denied for abused women jailed...

Parole denied for abused women jailed for killing husbands

There are 39 comments on the KSHB-TV Kansas City story from Sep 6, 2006, titled Parole denied for abused women jailed for killing husbands. In it, KSHB-TV Kansas City reports that:

Two Missouri women sentenced to life in prison without parole for killing their abusive husbands but later granted clemency by former Gov.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at KSHB-TV Kansas City.

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Once abused

Sullivan, MO

#24 Oct 20, 2006
I completely understand. Though I was the breadwinner, I had nowhere to go and two children. It's been over a decade, but still alot of people won't believe that he abused. People who knew me and know me came to believe. The worse part is that now he's married to someone else that apparently he doesn't abuse and she is stalking me all over the internet calling me names and trying to say what a liar I am, etc. Because I had the audacity to leave when someone was there to help me (whom,yes I ended up with, so that made me a "whore") and I didn't lie and say he wasn't abusive.
Now this crazy woman is going nuts writing crap about me and stalking me and she's abused the kids. He got the right woman for him I guess, but it never goes away. I'll never forget and my family won't forget. There were witnesses, but they were too chicken to stand up for me. Now I have to deal with this. She's probably reading this and will be coming after me for it too. I'm past caring. She'll get hers one day. Abusive people will have to face themselves at some point.
Joyce K wrote:
<quoted text>
I lived in my husband's home town too. Just blocks away from his mother, his brother and his friends. Do you think anyone would believe that he was abusive? He was Dr. Jeckl and Mr. Hyde. He even convinced the kids that none of what happened to me had any effect on them. For my kids's sakes, I never bring up what happened, but, even though this happened 28 years ago, it is still very fresh in my mind. I have tried therapy but I am still bitter, hurt and angry that this man took my house, 2 of my kids, and no one would believe that he was the abuser. I have a wonderful husband now, I have bought and paid for our home, I have been on wonderful trips and have a good life, but once you have been abused, it just never really goes away. He still lives in the same house where the abuse took place, the grandkids love him, and I have had occasion to see him at the grandkids birthday parties. I have tried to be civil to him but he completely ignores my presence. I don't want to see him anymore, but I won't hurt my daughter's feelings. He remarried as well. Since he never wanted anyone else to believe he was an abuser, I assume he has never beat up on her. He's cold, and controlling, but I was made out to be the one who was the lunatic!
Once abused

Sullivan, MO

#25 Oct 20, 2006
PS, I was tired of iniquity on here too. When we changed users, we forgot to change names. Sorry

Since: Mar 07

United States

#26 Mar 10, 2007
Whitetrashwithmoney wrote:
Burn the bitches at the stake lazy liberal women you know what they say can't turn a ho in to a housewife.
Shove it up your white trash butt moron!!

“http://www.image chef.com/ic/ri”

Since: Mar 07

Nunya, AR (Sugartown)

#27 Mar 10, 2007
black woman in missouri wrote:
To all the women of the world, well i have to tell you i am saddened by the comments of no way out, and to kill or to be killed, that is the poorest excuse i have ever heard, we have police and laws that protect us, but how can they protect us if at one time we call the police because we are getting beat up by our so called husbands, lovers, or men and then when the police come we make excuses for them, saying that if i had not done this or that he would not have hit me, or that it was a accident i walked into his fist,or we lie to the police, or we just dont call them at all. Well i believe if a man hits you 1 time you should be gone it only makes it easier for him to hit you again and again, some women go get exparates against their so called men and then the man still comes around them or continues to live in the house with them, to me that is saying you want him to beat on you and treat you like a dog. Why does it have to get to that point, why would you be willing to protect someone who hurts you, i know most women say i love him and he loves me, well you dont abuse someone you love. Why stick around til it comes to the point of where you have to kill. To all the women of the world get a job become self supporting where you dont have to depend on a man to pay the bills, and survive,and be subject to the abuse, there is always a way out without going thru the desperate measures of taking someones life, it makes you no better than the man that abused you.
First off what country are you in that follows and enforces every single law and legislation passed to defend these women or men from their abusers? Hun the reality of it is... that when the police are called in it is at their descretion whether or not this is a domestic dispute or an attempted murder or whatever. If at the time the husband/wife plays the good guy and they believe it well you can guess what happens. The abuse continues. I was in a relationship where it began to get violent, and fortunate for me my mother always told me that love doesn't hurt, and don't take and shit off any man. I left before it got bad enough for drastic measures. I understand your point, but when you are scared for your life or the lives of your children... well you tend to be more for your own life than that of a spouse. So what you are saying is is that if a woman is abused and can't get out, that they should just stay until they become just another statistic? I don't get it. Just so you know we get our ideas of how life should be from our family life. So if our fathers treat our mothers this way than it must be ok for our spouses to be this way with us. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
Elaine Parny

United States

#28 Mar 11, 2007
Definately, domestic abuse is rampant in our culture. And, it's a complex issue when you begin to truely study the subject. Due to my own experience with abuse for sixteen years, I attended numerous workshops and therapy groups with and without my abusive spouse. I felt sorry for him because he had been a victim of abuse as a child, as well. I paid a high price for having compassion for him. He sexually abused our two young daughters. Now I deal with the regret that I stayed in the marriage. When I did attempt to leave, I told the officers, "you really can't protect me, can you?" It took me two years and alot of planning to get myself and my children away from danger, even after I had moved out of his house.

Until there is a grassroots, community movement to deal with local issues involving domestic abuse, there will be no relief from this horrific crime. Remember, "experts" can only study and talk. It's up to an active public to take action. In the meantime, there are victims all around you and the problem is impacting every community.

Since: Jan 07

Binger, OK

#29 Mar 11, 2007
mee too wrote:
I don't condone murder but in some of these relationships, there is no way out. These women are beaten and kept down like mistreated dogs. And like you said, eventually both will snap. I hate that it has to come to that and it's sad that they go from one prison to another. These poor women are never truly free.
i agree mee too sometimes there is no other way out it really depends on the situation.

“http://www.image chef.com/ic/ri”

Since: Mar 07

Nunya, AR (Sugartown)

#30 Mar 11, 2007
To all of you strong ladies, way to go guys. It is really great to hear the success stories like yours. Be proud and hold your head up high! Heck pat yourself on the back for me. You go girls!

Since: Jan 07

Binger, OK

#31 Mar 13, 2007
Southernized wrote:
To all of you strong ladies, way to go guys. It is really great to hear the success stories like yours. Be proud and hold your head up high! Heck pat yourself on the back for me. You go girls!
we girls have to stick together or these big strong men will walk right over the top of us we have to be strong for our own good

“http://www.image chef.com/ic/ri”

Since: Mar 07

Nunya, AR (Sugartown)

#32 Mar 13, 2007
tinytot wrote:
<quoted text>we girls have to stick together or these big strong men will walk right over the top of us we have to be strong for our own good
AMEN GIRLS!!!!!
Kat

Smithville, TN

#33 Apr 8, 2007
Whitetrashwithmoney wrote:
Burn the bitches at the stake lazy liberal women you know what they say can't turn a ho in to a housewife.
another saying is, you cant change a boy into a man !
Kat

Smithville, TN

#34 Apr 8, 2007
black woman in missouri... The majority of abusive men do indeed move on into abusing another woman after he leaves, but, to many today come back and do KILL that former woman,,have you read the news lately ? One at CNN for heavensake,,I say defend yourself, if the smf ends up dead in self defense, its his problem ! It will save the women like these past two just this past week from getting killed after they leave. Restraining orders are no longer working, neither are the police, all out to lunch, corrupt, or in it together....please I encourage you to read the news about the nation around you, not just in missouri. Things are getting much much worse,,and when a man blocks you from leaving a public parking lot,,,well, its a pretty sure sign hes VERY DANGEROUS !!
I agree with self defense laws of our country, sometimes its just be killed, or kill first !! Unfortunately, safe houses arent working well anymore..
Just happy for you

Dallas, NC

#35 Apr 8, 2007
I am happy for you and your new life, above all I am grateful that you have your life and by your words you still have a good heart.
Once abused wrote:
White trash is apparently just that, unless the comment was made in sarcasm.
I lived with an abusive husband. He was the only man I had ever had relations with, so I don't guess you could call me a ho. I supported the family because he was too convinced that he was too special to have to work. That's what he had me for. Each day was a living hell. I didn't kill him, but I thought I was going to have to. I finally got out and he came after me to kill me for the sin of leaving. He tried three times, including shooting at me and taking the lug nuts off of my vehicle. Apparently God was looking out for me, because I'm still alive. It was terrifying, and there was no help. I hear all the time how people say a woman should leave the man's sorry ass, but when they have control over your every move, it's not that simple. The law doesn't like to get involved in domestic disputes. They leave a woman to fend for herself. I didn't have to kill that evil man, and for that I'm grateful. But I can certainly see how a woman can be in the position of having to. If it were anyone but her husband, it would be called self defense. Unfortunately, too many people still consider a woman to be the property of her husband for him to treat as he wishes.
If it hadn't been for the help of one decent person that helped me escape and gave me a safe place to go and helped watch out for my safety, I have no doubt that either I would be dead, or he would be. I would have had to kill him to save my own life and the lives of my children. Until you've lived in that kind of a situation, you have no right to judge. I can assure you, most men would never consider it to not be their right to protect their own lives. But will condemn a woman for it. I'm very grateful to be married to a good man now, and to have a quality life. I am hard hearted enough to hope that my ex husband gets the karma he deserves.

Since: Mar 07

DONIPHAN

#37 Apr 24, 2007
I understand where You are coming from...its been 17 yrs in the same relationship for me...I have 3 kids...I am stuck, I tried to leave once and the school in his hometown told him where I re-listed the kids in school...he found me..and told me that I would never leave him again or he would kill me..
larry

Ponte Vedra Beach, FL

#38 Apr 25, 2007
It's easy & socially popular to claim abuse when the accused is no longer around to defend themselves. Abuse is wrong of course & should be punished, but I don't believe being shot in the back of the head with a shotgun or being set on fire while sleeping is usually the court ordered punishment. And to say "sometimes there's no other way" is just not true, there's all kinds of of places set up for women to get help, or they can divorce the guy since the laws are set for the children(the women)

“In Ur Thread, Eatin Ur Serious”

Since: Apr 07

CarutherSteele MO

#40 Apr 28, 2007
The only grass roots movement that will stop domestic abuse is one aimed at teaching girls... from the time they are born... that they should never ever stay with a man who hits them or is mean to them. Not even if you are with him 5 years before he hits you.. Even if you were in the middle of an argument and were calling eachother names, etc... once he touches you out of anger in ANY way.. hit, grabs, shakes. etc... it's over... goodbye. The End.

Abuse starts out small and builds. It doesn't start with a violent bloddy beating on the 3rd date. It usually starts with mild possessiveness that we women initially take as *flattering*... then it becomes controllying and guilt-tripping... trying to make the girl feel bad because she did something he didn't want her to do or talked to someone he doesn't like... then separating her from her friends and others who love her and look out for her... then the *it was just one punch... I am so sorry... look what you made me do to you...* incident that leaves the girl feeling guilty for making the guy hit her.

It is our job to teach our girls how to set clear and healthy boundaries for what is appropriate in relationships and what is not. It is our duty to teach them how to recognize flattery from obssession and a feeling of ownership. Possessiveness should never be taken as flattery. There is nothing flattering about being viewed as a peice of property. When our daughters start dating.. it is our job to get to know their boyfriends and their families. If they have been on two dates and the guy is calling every minute of every day.. that is a BAD sign. We should teach them those things while they are still too young to date.. so that they will know the signs of an abusive relationship and they will avoid the relationships all together... instead of spending years of their lives being used as punching bags and crutches for dysfunctional and abusive men.

So long as we are neglecting out duty to teach that... we will always have this problem. Women who are accepting of even the mildest form of abuse in a relationship will always be abused.

We can't change the men we meet. We can only change their access to us.
Chuck Brauer

Linneus, MO

#41 Mar 18, 2008
First of all you idiots. We just can't allow chicks to kill guys just because they get slapped around a bit. They should learn to keep their mouth shut, make supper, do laundry, and stop nagging all the time. Good women don't get hit.

“Just Me!!”

Since: Oct 07

Moberly shhhhhhh

#42 Mar 25, 2008
All a woman has to say is (I was abused). Lots of these women are liars. I one who ran to an abuse shelter for women, when in fact she was the abuser. Beating up children. These women make me sick. Yes women get abused yes. But does one wrong, make another wrong right?
Meredith

Greenbrier, AR

#43 Apr 16, 2008
I know this thread was started over a year and a half ago, but I'm just reading it for the 1st time tonight and I'm amazed at some of these posts. If you are a woman that has no job, no money, no skills or education, and no family or friends that will support and help you make a plan to leave, then that is terrible and I just can't imagine anything worse.
But if you are an educated woman, go to work everyday, thereby leaving the house, have a car, are the breadwinner, thereby having first access to the money, I just don't understand this situation. Why didn't you just go to work one day and never come back? If the cops were buddies with your husband, that sucks, but still report it every single time he abused you so there are police reports on record. Also when he would abuse you, go to the emergency room EVERY SINGLE TIME, so it would also be in medical records. And at the hospital they would get a social services consult for you which would help you devise a plan. When you do leave and go for that restraining order, you have several police reports and medical records documenting what you say is true. If you had no family in the area, did you have any friends? People at work who could assist you in leaving or least testify in court that you came to work black and blue? Anyone at church who could help like a pastor? I read every single day in the newspaper: "police called to such and such address with report of domestic abuse. Suspect arrested and taken into custody, victim later dropped charges." Same address comes up time after time. I do feel sorry for women who are victims of abuse but sometimes you gotta stand up and take some responsibility. Hit me once, shame on you. Hit me twice, shame on me. If you stay in an abusive marriage and never call the police for fear they won't do anything, don't go to the ER, don't press charges, and never tell a soul at work or to a friend, if you have money and a car, can you honestly blame the system for not helping you?
The reply over and over again is "if I leave, he will track me down and kill me." So the answer is staying, where you know you will get abused, and very likely killed? And those who stay "because you have kids?" You LEAVE because you have kids! If you choose to stay and get daily beatings that's your choice, but those babies didn't ask for it and don't deserve it. Whether or not they are being abused, if they see their mommy getting beat up, that is abuse too. Boys who watch their dads abuse their moms are very likely to become abusers themselves and girls who watch it are likely to grow up and marry an abuser. You stay for the kids? So they live a childhood in fear, a childhood that should be the best time of their lives, to grow up and either become an abuser or marry one? That is child abuse, pure and simple, and if you stay in that situation, changing who those beautiful children are and what they will become, you are just as guilty of child abuse than your husband is. As a mother, my first and only priority is my 2 girls. I would risk everything to give them a better life. If they grew up to marry abusers themselves because they watched me get abused, I would wish that SOB would have killed me because I failed them as their mom.
Most women abused by their husbands don't leave because they can't. No education, no job, no money, no car, no support system. I understand this situation, but if you have all of the above? I feel sorry for you the first time you're abused, but if you continue to stay when you have the resources to leave and you subject your babies to this abuse, you are no better than he is in my book.
Blank

Clintwood, VA

#44 Apr 13, 2012
Why don;t you all just admit the truth!! That is, that women often CHOOSE the losers, CHOOSE to stay with the and often CHOOSE to make babies with them! Meanwhile, they have probably have passed up a hundred decent guys!!! Take some responsibilty and quit your whining!!!

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