Packer Jokes
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reed

Duluth, MN

#1 Mar 1, 2010
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php... (good definition)

What do you call a packer fan with half a brain?

Gifted

* Why did Milwaukee get turned down to have a professional football team?

The comissioner said,"sorry but then Green Bay will want one too."

* What do the Green Bay Packers (SLAKERS!!) and weed have in common?

They both get smoked in bowls!

* What is the difference between lambeau field and a porcipine?

The pricks are on the outside of the porcipine.

Packer fans make British soccer fans look like choir boys.

Cheese causes blocked arteries and heart disease

Drunk, fat,ugly Fans

Out of date "G" logo

Green and yellow colors...Yellow?

Lambaue...Packers have lived on this faux legend since 1970

Same old Same old

A viking player, a bills player and a packer player were eating together.
The viking player said,

If i have meatballs for lunch again ill jump from the top of this stadium!

The Bills player said the same about pizza, and the packer said the
same about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

The next day the viking player got meat balls and jumped to his death.
Then the bills player got pizza and jumped to his death.
Then the packer player got peanut butter and jelly sandwich and jumped
as well.

At the funeral the viking and bills wives were crying and said
If only we had known this i wouldnt have packed then that lunch!

The Packer wife said-

That's strange, my husband always packs his own lunch!

The Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are to become one team.
Their name will be changed to the Green Bay Tampacks, as they are
only good for one period and have no second string!
reed

Duluth, MN

#2 Mar 1, 2010
38 hints you may be a packer fan

1) Your mother is also your sister and girlfriend.

2) Your favorite movie is deliverance.

3) Packers favorite quote "I... uh... I was just helping the sheep over the fence...
honest!"

4) Your richest relative buys a new house, and you have to help take the wheels off.

5) Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State
trooper to "kiss my ass".

6) Your geek ass packer flag hangs higher than the U.S. Flag.

7) The primary color of your car is " Green Bondo".

8) Your family tree does not fork.

9) You have Packer flags on each side of your car.

10) Your Fat ass mother has ever been involved in a fist fight at a Packer game with
your dad.

11) You consider Outdoor Life deep reading.

12) Your mother uses her Cheesehead as a spit-cup also.

13) Ever black person you see, you ask for an autograph.

14) Your wife has a beer gut, and you think it's attractive.

15) Your dad walks to school with you because you're both in the same grade.

16) You're Gay!

17) Bill Clinton is your role model.

18) Your Hair is Shaved on the sides and long in back(Men), your hair is so puffy it
blocks the sun (Women).

19)You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

20) That billboard that says, "SAY NO TO CRACK" reminds you to pull up your jeans.

21) Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

22) You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

23) You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.

24) Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare Center.

25)You've got more than three cousins named 'Bubba'.

26)You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.

27) Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

28) Your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.

29) Your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin.

30) You never learned to swim because your gene pool is to small.

31) You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit"
was snubbed for best picture.

32) The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

33) The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas
it has in it.

34) You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".

35) You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.

36) You've painted a car with house paint.

37) Anyone in your family died right after saying "Hey, Y'all watch this!".

38) You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.

“it takes a lot to laugh”

Since: Oct 09

St Paul

#3 Mar 1, 2010
Hilarious posting Reed, but lets not forget Don Riley, who in my humble opinion did more to flame the Vikings/Packers rivalry for years. The old Eye Opener column was the source of Packers jokes, shots at the Green&Gold along with just great bad mouthing by Mr. Riley!
Jimmy

Milwaukee, WI

#4 Mar 1, 2010
Wow! This is easy ... No 38 hints ... No lame jokes ... REAL EASY fellas ...

What do the Minnesota Vikings and a car thief have in common ????....

NO TITLE!! YES, one more time NO TITLE!!

Hey, you guys pitched the slow curve ball over the plate ... I just hit it out of the park ... LOL

“Wher's dem turkey necks?”

Since: Dec 08

Palm Desert, CA

#5 Mar 1, 2010
Jimmy wrote:
Wow! This is easy ... No 38 hints ... No lame jokes ... REAL EASY fellas ...
What do the Minnesota Vikings and a car thief have in common ????....
NO TITLE!! YES, one more time NO TITLE!!
Hey, you guys pitched the slow curve ball over the plate ... I just hit it out of the park ... LOL
And Rodgers got sacked so many times last season his nickname is now Spuds and Idaho potato growers are naming a potato in honor of your non-existent offensive line. It's called a SpudPucker. Problem is it grows up mashed just like the Vikes did to your team and QB this past year.
Jimmy

Milwaukee, WI

#6 Mar 1, 2010
Da Crusher_RIP wrote:
<quoted text>
And Rodgers got sacked so many times last season his nickname is now Spuds and Idaho potato growers are naming a potato in honor of your non-existent offensive line. It's called a SpudPucker. Problem is it grows up mashed just like the Vikes did to your team and QB this past year.
Really? Is that da best ya got dere Crusher??
Jimmy

Milwaukee, WI

#7 Mar 1, 2010
Ah, yes ya beat da Pack twice last year ... still ... NO TITLE !... so much fer yer savior ...
Vet-owned

Minneapolis, MN

#8 Mar 2, 2010
Jimmy wrote:
Ah, yes ya beat da Pack twice last year ... still ... NO TITLE !... so much fer yer savior ...
That would be three straight Viking' victories over the Fudge. Take #4 out of 1996 and the Packers are winless in 40 years also.

Vikings > Packers.

Remember that for life.
Hey Jimmy

Prior Lake, MN

#10 Mar 2, 2010
How many Packer fans does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to change the bulb while the other four stand around swigging cheap beer and talk about how good the old one was.
reed

Duluth, MN

#11 Mar 2, 2010
Jimmy wrote:
<quoted text>
Really? Is that da best ya got dere Crusher??
oh yes because your responsce is so intelligent
reed

Duluth, MN

#12 Mar 2, 2010
more jokes

Packer Fart Football in Bed
On the eve of a Sunday kickoff, this old Green Bay Packer fan couple went to bed at the Super 8 on Oneida street- just a mile or so away from Lambeau. The old guy farted and yelled out "7".

The old lady said what was that. He said he got a touchdown. I'm playing Fart Football. The old lady farted and yelled 7-7. The old man farted again 14-7. The old lady farted again tied 14-14.

The old lady sqeeked a little fart 17-14. The old man said what was that? She replied,

"I just kicked a field goal".

The old man layed there trying to push out another fart. He pushed so hard he shit the bed. The old lady said what was that? The old man replied it's 1/2 time and time to switch sides.
reed

Duluth, MN

#13 Mar 2, 2010
more jokes

Packer Truck Driver

The truck driver of the Green Bay Packers Equipment Semi was driving along on the I 94 Interstate on his way to Minnesota. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,

"Got stuck, huh?"

With a the strong smell of Miller Lite on his breath, the driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
reed

Duluth, MN

#14 Mar 2, 2010
more jokes

Aaron Rogers Other Wife?
Aaron Rogers walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says..."Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have headaches."

His wife is lying in bed and replies..."I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

Aaron says..."I think you'll find that I wasn't talking to you."
reed

Duluth, MN

#15 Mar 2, 2010
more jokes

Cheesehead Teacher: Who's a Moron?

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cheesehead. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Cheeseheads too. No one really knowing what a Cheesehead was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen who has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I'm not a Cheesehead."

Then, asks the teacher, what are you?

“Why, I'm a proud Vikings Fan," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.

She asks Kristen why she is a rebel.

“Well, my mom and dad are Vikings Fans, so I'm a Vikings Fan too."

The teacher is now angry.

"That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron,
and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile.

“Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Cheesehead"
reed

Duluth, MN

#16 Mar 2, 2010
more jokes

Three Fans
A Jewish Giants Fan, a Hindu 49ers Fan and a Packer Fan were
driving in the country one night when their car broke down.
They walked to a nearby farm house and asked if they could
spend the night. The farmer told them yes, but he only had
two extra beds but he had a clean barn full of fresh straw
and one of them would have to spend the night there.

The Jewish Giant fan said he had spent several years on a
kibutz in Israeland sleeping in a barn wouldn't bother him.
Out to the barn goes the Jewish man and everybody else went to
bed. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door and
there stood the Jewish man. He said he couldn't sleep in the
barn because there was a pig in the barn and his religion forbid
it.

The Hindu 49er fan said no problem, he had grown up in Bombay
and he wouldn't have a problem sleeping in a clean barn with
a pig. Out to the barn goes the Hindu and everybody else went
to bed. Fifteen minutes later there was a knockat the door and
there stood the Hindu 49er fan. He said he couldn't sleep in
the barn because there was a cow in the barn and his religion
forbid it.

The Packer Fan said no problem, he had grown up in Green Bay
and there was no way a pig or a cow was going to keep him
from a good nights sleep. Out to the barn goes the Packer
Fan and everybody else went to bed. Fifteen minutes later
there was a knock at the door and there stood the pig and
the cow
reed

Duluth, MN

#17 Mar 2, 2010
more jokes

Why Packer Fans are so Stupid

Packer fans are so stupid it takes them 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Packer fans are so stupid that they put lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
Packer fans are so stupid they hear it's chilly outside so they get a bowl
Packer fans are so stupid they'd get locked in a grocery store and starve!
Packer fans are so stupid that they tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Packer fans are so stupid they buy a solar-powered flashlights!
Packer fans are so stupid they think a quarterback is a refund!
Packer fans are so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Packer fans are so stupid they took a spoon to the superbowl.
Packer fans are so stupid they thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Packer fans are so stupid they sit on the TV, and watch the couch!
Packer fans are so stupid they took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Packer fans are so stupid that under "Education" on their job application, they put
"Hooked on Phonics.
Packer fans are so stupid they thought the Nazis were saying "Hi! Hitler"

Packer Convention
A Packer fan was annoyed how every Vikings fan always made fun of him and picked on him due to his stupidity in being a packer fan. He had enough and decided to get every Packer fan in the neighborhood and prove their intelligence. They had a convention to show their intelligence. There were many events in the convention. One being a quiz show. So a Packer fan was being quized. "Question number one. What is two plus two?"

packerfan: "umm, 3"

crowd: "give him another chance, give him another chance!"

packerfan: "umm, 5"

crowd: "give him another chance, give him another chance!"

packerfan: "umm, 4?"

crowd: "give him another chance, give him another chance!"
reed

Duluth, MN

#18 Mar 2, 2010
more jokes

PACKER AND VIKING CAR ACCIDENT

There's a Packer Fan driving from Green
Bay to Minneapolis, and a guy from
Minneapolis driving from Minneapolis to
Green Bay. In the middle of the
night, with no other cars on the road,
they hit each other head on and
both cars go flying off in different
directions. The Packer manages to
climb out of his car and survey the
damage. He looks at the twisted car
and says, "Man, I am really lucky to
be alive!" Likewise, the Viking
scrambles out of his car, and looks
at his wreckage. He says to himself,
"I can't believe I survived this wreck!"
The Packer walks over to the
Viking and says, "Hey man, I think
this is a sign from God, that we
should put away our petty differences and
live as friends instead of arch rivals."
The Viking thinks for a minute and says,
"You know, you're absolutely
right! We should be friends. Now, I am
gonna see what else survived this
wreck." So the Viking pops open his
trunk and finds a full unopened bottle
of Jack Daniels. He says to the Packer,
"I think this is another sign from
God, that we should toast to our new
found understanding and friendship."
The Packer says, " You're damn right!"
and he grabs the bottle and starts
sucking down Jack Daniels. After
putting away nearly half the bottle,
the Packer hands it back to the Viking
and says, "Your Turn!" The Viking
twists the cap back on the bottle and
says' "Nahhh, I think I'll wait for
the cops to show up!!!"
reed

Duluth, MN

#19 Mar 2, 2010
more jokes

Why Green Bay Packers Use High School Cheerleaders

-Packer women are so ugly they look out the window and get arrested for mooning.
-Packer women are so ugly they put them in the monkey cage to make the monkeys
stop jacking off.
-Packer women are so ugly when they were born the doctor took a look at them and
spanked their Parents.
-Packer women are so ugly even Freddy Krueger has nightmares of them
-Packer women are so ugly they push their face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
-Packer women are so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in their shower
-Packer women are so ugly their moms had to be drunk to breast feed them
-Packer women are so ugly their moms had to tie a steak around their necks to get the
dogs to play with them.
-Packer women are
so ugly they tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
-Packer women are so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Purple Power

Prior Lake, MN

#20 Mar 2, 2010
reed wrote:
more jokes
Why Green Bay Packers Use High School Cheerleaders
-Packer women are so ugly they look out the window and get arrested for mooning.
-Packer women are so ugly they put them in the monkey cage to make the monkeys
stop jacking off.
-Packer women are so ugly when they were born the doctor took a look at them and
spanked their Parents.
-Packer women are so ugly even Freddy Krueger has nightmares of them
-Packer women are so ugly they push their face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
-Packer women are so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in their shower
-Packer women are so ugly their moms had to be drunk to breast feed them
-Packer women are so ugly their moms had to tie a steak around their necks to get the
dogs to play with them.
-Packer women are
so ugly they tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
-Packer women are so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Hey reed, get a life already.
PostFix

Pennsauken, NJ

#21 Mar 2, 2010
Reed - it looks like you have absolutely no life, or you are secretly in love with the Packers. No wonder everyone thinks Minnesota is a joke. Keep up the great work der hey.

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