Familiar Complaints Aired At Hearing On DCF

Full story: Hartford Courant

Trina Porter flew to Connecticut from Maryland so she could show state legislators a picture of the niece she hasn't seen in more than a year.

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lovly2008

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#21
Dec 20, 2008
 

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help wrote:
How about the other side! Become a Foster parent and see what really happens. What these kids go thru at the hand of the parent. And where are the extended family when the child is born addicted.Where the the rest of the fammily when the child "Fell off the Swing" Where is the family when after a Visit I'm up all night with a Screaming Child trying to make them understand ANYTHING. DCF is not perfect But the do try.Stop Looking to blame DCF for all the problems and get Involved.You'll See both sides then. HELP!!!
Well now, foster parent, I guess this is the problem that you dont seem to be understanding. Being involved with DCF myself, what DCF is so very good at is seperating families. They seem to go out of their way to limit visitation by family members. As a matter of fact, it seems to me, what they have become is an adoption agency.

If this agency would spend half the money they spend helping families to stay together, their budget could probaby be cut in half. Instead they hire an unusual amount of workers, who are arrogant and willfully deny the rights of family members, as well as parents. State paid attorneys seem to work for the agency, rather than the parents and the judges in these cases are no better. You will get the impression that the judge has become the district attorney in many of the cases.

I say this agency needs an overhaul. It should be restructured to help the family, not the foster parents. My daughter lost her child when she became homeless. Do you think DCF lifted one finger to help her? No, but they will spend billions to give money to foster parents who do these jobs for a living. We all know what goes on here and something really needs to be done.

Since: Sep 08

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#22
Dec 20, 2008
 

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LMHtfd wrote:
<quoted text>
Suggest some action I should besides what they suggest, which is reporting to their "Child Help Line" and calling the police, who never arrive on a timely basis? Should DCF be held to their mandate or allowed to do as they please? The next time a story arises about a child being murdered or sexually abused by a foster parent or an endangered teen walking away from a group home will YOU be one of the "irrational" people trying to make excuses for the social workers oversights?
Since we've never met before (at least to my knowledge), I will clue you in on something about me.

I work for DCF.

I'm not a social worker.

And yes, DCF has both its good points and its bad points.

Problem on the other side of the equation is that all the Gruesome Twosome have to offer is stale and semi-unworkable solutions which they trot out every time they are in front of the camera.

If the OCA actually cared, she would be back at DCF working within the system to implement her "ideas".

But, we all know that certain people are all lip and no action. And she qualifies as all lip and no action.
Been There

South Hadley, MA

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#25
Dec 20, 2008
 

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Citizen Rosa wrote:
It's easy for the Child Advocate and the legislators to pile on against big bad DCF. But in EVERY SINGLE CASE
where a child is removed from family, the child has a free lawyer, the parents each have free lawyers, relatives are allowed to come to court and have their say, and a judge makes the final decision. There are also various advocates and court personnel who also are involved in the case and making sure the safest decision is made. If a parent or child's lawyer doesn't like the court decision, it can be appealed. And, of course, the Child Advocate is supposedly available to help these families as well. DCF is not the be all and end all of these cases. There are plenty of other layers of protection (or bureaucracy) for the families but we never hear about them. If kids are being kept from families due to DCF arrogance, why are these others letting it happen?
What have you been smoking lately? "relatives are allowed to come to court and have their say" I don't think so. Other than the legislative mandated notification in a case that I'm familiar with, the "relatives" had not heard one word from DCF, attorynies, social workers or anyone else for that matter.

Upon arrival at court for a hearing the folks were told that the Judicial Marshalls didn't even have to let them in the building, much less the courtroom.
Charlene N Gros CT

Storrs Mansfield, CT

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#26
Dec 21, 2008
 
We sure wish we could of been there. We have a story that would rip your hearts out. We have gone to State Reps, Darlene D, Jim B Jeannie M, and a lawyer who said "YOU CAN'T WIN" against DCF.
It it sure sad that it takes a death of a child...... "THE VERY ONES THEY ARE TRYING TO HELP" to make the state look at what they are doing! We have lost a child whom we loved very much... and another family lost 3 girls who THOUGHT they had a family.
We pray that whoever is looking into it looks with their hearts because there is stuff that is unbelievable,
We would not say this but .....
WE would not believe it ourselves... IF it didn't happen to us!!
bbb

Orono, ME

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#27
Dec 29, 2008
 

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I hope that all states will take a look at this situation and stop the lies and deceits of CPS. I have an idea
on http://www.change.org/ideas/search... hope you will vote for my idea. I am in hopes that the new administration coming in will see the corruption within this system and make some changes...They are needed badly..The children in this nation have become a part of a child lottery to which the workers are taking children away from their families for job protection and are rewarded with monies from the federal government for children that are taken away from their parents and adopted...THIS SHOULD BE ADDRESSED IMMEDIATELY!!
jenna

Lansing, MI

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#29
Dec 31, 2008
 
CPS has been in my home 4 times. I am disgusted with the allegations being made against me. This last time I had my boyfriend now husband of 6 years pick my 13 yr. old up from where she was not suppose to be. Reason being my daughter hits me and fights me. So I asked him to help me get her back home. When she refused to come home he grabbed her by her hair and escorted her to the vehicle. CPS says you can spank but cannot leave marks so my daughter gets the back of her little hairs pulled. Now he was arrested for this and is being charged with assault. I never let him disipline before until now. Look what happened. SHe is rebelling out of control and I am in trouble.
Yawnee

Hartford, CT

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#31
Jan 5, 2009
 

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jenna wrote:
CPS has been in my home 4 times. I am disgusted with the allegations being made against me. This last time I had my boyfriend now husband of 6 years pick my 13 yr. old up from where she was not suppose to be. Reason being my daughter hits me and fights me. So I asked him to help me get her back home. When she refused to come home he grabbed her by her hair and escorted her to the vehicle. CPS says you can spank but cannot leave marks so my daughter gets the back of her little hairs pulled. Now he was arrested for this and is being charged with assault. I never let him disipline before until now. Look what happened. SHe is rebelling out of control and I am in trouble.
She is rebelling out of control as a result of her upbringing. This is your responsibility and no one else's. Why not work with your state's DCF? They can refer you both to services where you can work on having a more positive mother/daughter relationship.

Since: Jan 09

Bloomfield, CT

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#32
Jan 16, 2009
 

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Honestly I AM a therapeutic foster parent and DCF has lied on me, lied to me, distorted the facts and caused more harm than good to not only myself and my husband but most importantly the child. In addition DCF has allowed the private foster care agency to totally cause major havoc on my family. DCF only cares about DCF and forget making a complaint because no one is EVER held accountable within the agency. It's a very sad thing. No wonder there are over 3,000 children waiting for foster care placements!

Since: Jan 09

Bloomfield, CT

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#33
Jan 16, 2009
 

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Georgie B wrote:
<quoted text>Since we've never met before (at least to my knowledge), I will clue you in on something about me.
I work for DCF.
I'm not a social worker.
And yes, DCF has both its good points and its bad points.
Problem on the other side of the equation is that all the Gruesome Twosome have to offer is stale and semi-unworkable solutions which they trot out every time they are in front of the camera.
If the OCA actually cared, she would be back at DCF working within the system to implement her "ideas".
But, we all know that certain people are all lip and no action. And she qualifies as all lip and no action.
Sorry but DCF makes their own problems because they refuse to cooperate to make decisions in the best interest of the child. Stop making excuses for them. They are appointed to protect children and serve the families and they don't do that!

Since: Jan 09

Bloomfield, CT

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#34
Jan 16, 2009
 

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Sick-O-Congress Blowhards wrote:
DCF is a typical useless govt agency. All about rules and no accountability. Get rid of this useless t_rd of an agency and start over. Main requirement - anyone working there now is banned from the new agency. To "help" - the foster families do their best and very few look badly at them. It is the agency that stinks - replace it.
Amen to that! Will never happen but sounds wonderful!

Since: Jan 09

Bloomfield, CT

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#35
Jan 16, 2009
 

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Yawnee wrote:
<quoted text>
She is rebelling out of control as a result of her upbringing. This is your responsibility and no one else's. Why not work with your state's DCF? They can refer you both to services where you can work on having a more positive mother/daughter relationship.
Yawnee, now really...please tell me you are NOT serious! I really have to believe that you're just talking out your ______! You MUST not have any children and if you do they either have NOT reached adolescent stage or you're deaf, dumb, blind or just plain ignorant because kids will be kids regardless of their upbringing. Stop fooling yourself. Unless you have them on a leash they WILL misbehave. Get a grip!

Since: Jan 09

Bloomfield, CT

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#36
Jan 16, 2009
 
Borris Badenov wrote:
DCF is operated by people that could and should be be prosecuted using RICO statutes. That agency is one step removed from domestic terrorist status.
I'm thinking Homeland Security should have oversight over DCF because they are a threat to the homeland!

Since: Jan 09

Bloomfield, CT

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#37
Jan 16, 2009
 
Observer wrote:
DCF is too big, has too many disparate responsibilities and an arrogant staff culture that has resisted correction for many, many years.It even has the same ineffective critics year after year.
It should be broken up into it's three core functions, child protection, mental health and juvenile justice. Each one would have plenty to do.
Most importantly, the administration has not been effective in the 40 years I've observed. Maybe the rumored golden handshake would release their grip. Maybe the faux critics would go too.
The bible says anyone who causes harm to a child will be handled accordingly. I do believe for every person within DCF agency who acts out of their own flesh instead of for the benefit of the child will have their own crosses to bear as a result! Remember, they have children too and it would really stink for them to have to be on the receiving end of their own wickedness!

Since: Jan 09

Bloomfield, CT

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#38
Jan 16, 2009
 

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help wrote:
How about the other side! Become a Foster parent and see what really happens. What these kids go thru at the hand of the parent. And where are the extended family when the child is born addicted.Where the the rest of the fammily when the child "Fell off the Swing" Where is the family when after a Visit I'm up all night with a Screaming Child trying to make them understand ANYTHING. DCF is not perfect But the do try.Stop Looking to blame DCF for all the problems and get Involved.You'll See both sides then. HELP!!!
DCF is a government agency - a whole entity full of a whole lot of people who are supposed to be trained professionals! Our tax money pays for DCF to mess up messes. If DCF is going to mess up a mess I'm not really thinking this is effective in the scope of things. How exactly do you expect people to get involved when DCF does not allow them to get involved without being labeled a troublemaker! Face it. DCF doesn't give a ______ what you think unless you are praising them! Wake up! Who do you suggest we blame when they are pulling the strings?

Since: Jan 09

Bloomfield, CT

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#39
Jan 16, 2009
 
help wrote:
How about the other side! Become a Foster parent and see what really happens. What these kids go thru at the hand of the parent. And where are the extended family when the child is born addicted.Where the the rest of the fammily when the child "Fell off the Swing" Where is the family when after a Visit I'm up all night with a Screaming Child trying to make them understand ANYTHING. DCF is not perfect But the do try.Stop Looking to blame DCF for all the problems and get Involved.You'll See both sides then. HELP!!!
You became a foster parent by your own choosing. Stop complaining. As a foster parent myself take a word of advice. People like you who make excuses for an agency that in most cases makes life miserable for anyone who goes against their ideas, beliefs or practices REALLY makes things pathetic! Have you ever noticed that other states have Foster Parents Bill of Rights to protect them. Not Connecticut. God help you if you run into an issue with DCF. You're gonna need some divine intervention. Otherwise you'll be crushed! Mistake number one.....trusting DCF!

Since: Jan 09

Bloomfield, CT

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#40
Jan 16, 2009
 
lovly2008 wrote:
<quoted text>
Well now, foster parent, I guess this is the problem that you dont seem to be understanding. Being involved with DCF myself, what DCF is so very good at is seperating families. They seem to go out of their way to limit visitation by family members. As a matter of fact, it seems to me, what they have become is an adoption agency.
If this agency would spend half the money they spend helping families to stay together, their budget could probaby be cut in half. Instead they hire an unusual amount of workers, who are arrogant and willfully deny the rights of family members, as well as parents. State paid attorneys seem to work for the agency, rather than the parents and the judges in these cases are no better. You will get the impression that the judge has become the district attorney in many of the cases.
I say this agency needs an overhaul. It should be restructured to help the family, not the foster parents. My daughter lost her child when she became homeless. Do you think DCF lifted one finger to help her? No, but they will spend billions to give money to foster parents who do these jobs for a living. We all know what goes on here and something really needs to be done.
I happen to be a foster parent who advocated for the child placed in my home be returned to his biological mother. After all, she has another biological child with her so why not? DCF crushed the idea without even attempting to make this happen. Ultimately the child placed in my home does not want to go back to his mother but yet and still....I tried. Speaking as foster parent please understand that my life has been a living _____ dealing with DCF and dealing with the private foster care agency my child is affiliated with! It is NOT easy for foster parents either. Like anything else in life there are good foster parents and there are bad ones! I happen to be one who really cares about the child and do this for reasons other than just collecting a stipend! I'm sorry about what happened to your daughter. I am definitely a foster parent who advocates helping the biological parent to keep their child in cases where abuse is not an issue. I agree. Give the money to the biological mother. It totally makes more sense. Won't happen though. The State of Connecticut will never pay biological mothers a stipend in any form to raise their own children. As a matter of fact this same idea is why the lawmakers wanted changes in the old structure of the welfare system. They were tired of paying mothers money to keep having children without being financially able to care for them.

Since: Jan 09

Bloomfield, CT

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#41
Jan 16, 2009
 
Georgie B wrote:
<quoted text>Since we've never met before (at least to my knowledge), I will clue you in on something about me.
I work for DCF.
I'm not a social worker.
And yes, DCF has both its good points and its bad points.
Problem on the other side of the equation is that all the Gruesome Twosome have to offer is stale and semi-unworkable solutions which they trot out every time they are in front of the camera.
If the OCA actually cared, she would be back at DCF working within the system to implement her "ideas".
But, we all know that certain people are all lip and no action. And she qualifies as all lip and no action.
I'll clue you in on something about you! The COMMISSIONER is mandated to do a job! If she can not or will not be accountable in other's eyes than she should make herself accountable in her OWN EYES! Leadership starts at the TOP! If the head is positioned correctly than the tail and all in between will line up! Give me a break! There's no accountability by the head so the rest of the agency is a three ring circus at the expense of children and families! The OCA is not involved in direct care of children and families. No, she's not innocent and yes she may be a useless set of babbling lips but the Commissioner I hope has a full understanding of right and wrong. We are all responsible for our own actions or lack of them!

Since: Sep 08

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#42
Jan 17, 2009
 

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Habs wrote:
<quoted text> Sorry but DCF makes their own problems because they refuse to cooperate to make decisions in the best interest of the child. Stop making excuses for them. They are appointed to protect children and serve the families and they don't do that!
Actually they do.

I can't help it if you're having a bad experience with an OUTSIDE AGENCY THAT IS SIMPLY LICENSED BY DCF.

If you're having that problem, then stop moaning about it and cut your losses.

One more thing: I don't make excuses for them. I may work for DCF, but that doesn't mean I'm an apologist for them.

I'll praise when necessary and I'll condemn when necessary.

Since: Sep 08

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#43
Jan 17, 2009
 

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So take responsibility for your actions.

If you're having problems with an outside agency or with DCF, then leave.

Return the child to whence it came and move on with your life.
Habs wrote:
<quoted text> I'll clue you in on something about you! The COMMISSIONER is mandated to do a job! If she can not or will not be accountable in other's eyes than she should make herself accountable in her OWN EYES! Leadership starts at the TOP! If the head is positioned correctly than the tail and all in between will line up! Give me a break! There's no accountability by the head so the rest of the agency is a three ring circus at the expense of children and families! The OCA is not involved in direct care of children and families. No, she's not innocent and yes she may be a useless set of babbling lips but the Commissioner I hope has a full understanding of right and wrong. We are all responsible for our own actions or lack of them!
Yawnee

Hartford, CT

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#46
Jan 20, 2009
 
Habs wrote:
<quoted text>You MUST not have any children and if you do they either have NOT reached adolescent stage or you're deaf, dumb, blind or just plain ignorant because kids will be kids regardless of their upbringing. Stop fooling yourself. Unless you have them on a leash they WILL misbehave. Get a grip!
Well, I guess I stand corrected. Apparently kids will turn out the same regardless of who raises them. This is a relief to thousands of parents, I suspect. No more worrying about who your kids are hanging out with, how they're doing in school, etc. According to Habs, you can just drop your kids off with anyone rather than screen people that will be in contact with your children. Heck, they're going to turn out the same regardless of who raises them, apparently.

This is going to be tough to break to my Mom, though. All that time and money and nurturing and worry while she was raising me was totally unecessary, it appears. To think that I thought that I was incredibly lucky to have a caring, nurturing mother who, through her own tough love, sacrifices, etc., made me the man I am today. She would probably be upset to learn that I would have turned out the same regardless of who raised me. Now that I think about it, I probably shouldn't tell her that it was a waste of time.

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