can a one off "mild" child molestation be forgiven?
Posted in the Palo Alto Daily News Forum
#1 Jun 23, 2010
My friend came to me to tell me something that her husband confessed to her... about 12 years ago, when he was married to his former wife, he had a child that at the time, she was 18 months old. The child was usually fixated when it came to suck on things, pacifier, finger, back of your hand, whatever... One day when he came out of the bath, he had a hard on and the kid came in the bathroom, he says that in a split of a second, he thought it would be funny to see if the child would see his willy like a sucking object, she came close and sucked on it for a split of a second and suddenly he realized it and thought "what the f*** have I done?" and he says it only lasted a second. He kept it a secret. He eventually divorced his first wife and married my friend. My friend had 2 kids with him, he was/is a great father, really nice guy, hard working, sweet, polite, etc... and one day, he was crying and confessed in his new partner that he felt like the scum of the earth for what he had done. He says that he never did it again. That he does not get aroused by little kids, that he would never ever do that again. That he has been carrying this for the last 12 years and that it has affected his life so much, the guilt was unbearable but he felt he could not tell anyone for he would be seen as a monster. His current wife (my friend) does not know what to think and feel. She loves him dearly. He loves her and his family dearly. Now the trouble here is that... is my friend crazy for thinking that was 12 years ago, that hopefully he is telling the truth and it was only once and he feels really bad about it? he is willing to go to therapy but is scared to go to jail. My friend thinks that she should feel more scandalized by it but she wants to believe in him. He has never touched his kids (or so he says) with his new wife. Is my friend crazy for not throwing him out? SHe is scared of telling someone (well other than me and I swore to secrecy!) and does not know what to do... Opinions please... thanks.
#2 Sep 5, 2013
I sure wish someone answered your question.
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