Teens' responses show profound lack of respect

[resident]

LW1, you two were even when you hit him back (which, by the way, I applaud). You should have just given him some time to get over his wounded pride, but instead you jumped the gun, trying to get a rise out of him by insulting him. Well, it "worked." If you learn a lesson about the male ego from this, it will be well worth it.(Though I think any girl would have been angered by your "teasing," as well.) The lesson is: let these unpleasant things die, don't keep nurturing them. Now that he has called you an insulting word (though these days name-calling barely means a thing), consider you and him to be even once again, and let this go.

[Terri at home]

resident wrote:

LW1, you two were even when you hit him back (which, by the way, I applaud). You should have just given him some time to get over his wounded pride, but instead you jumped the gun, trying to get a rise out of him by insulting him. Well, it "worked." If you learn a lesson about the male ego from this, it will be well worth it.(Though I think any girl would have been angered by your "teasing," as well.) The lesson is: let these unpleasant things die, don't keep nurturing them. Now that he has called you an insulting word (though these days name-calling barely means a thing), consider you and him to be even once again, and let this go.

I agree resident -- it's a natural thing to have to learn at 14. You are just learning how to deal with the world and relationships. I think she's just in part of the learning process. The fact that she's reaching out asking about the situation is a good thing. The young boy probably also is just learning his way. Hopefully, they'll get there in their mid 20's.

[Angelique]

Terri at home wrote:

<quoted text>
Sure. Who do you have in your office that I can beat the crude out of?

Terri, I'm still laughing. OMG!! That is so funny. You get to hit my futon and pretend it's someone like your ex.

[Terri at home]

Angelique wrote:

<quoted text>
Terri, I'm still laughing. OMG!! That is so funny. You get to hit my futon and pretend it's someone like your ex.

Naw. Believe it or not I'm done being mad at him a long time ago. I like telling the stories so I can keep the truth in my head. He likes to rewrite history. It's to keep me sane.

Um, how about my boss? Or my 17 year old son on those days when he is acting like, well, a teenager and knows everything and I'm just stupid.(All my friends go through the same thing with their teenagers -- geesh). Or Imus b/c he's just stupid. Okay, I'm thinking of others and the list is long. I'll come in one day a week and get through the list.

[Now that is not nice]

JimR wrote:

Don't you realize that the Queens who run these boards have determined that parents can do no wrong!

Jim, you are free to promote your website all you want, but please refrain from insulting the sexual orientation of posters on this board! ;>)

[jlp]

"I don't know when gift-giving (and receiving) got so out of hand, but your neighbor's attitude is representative of a prevailing mind-set that the recipient (or a child's parents) should be able to choose their own gift—or take the money and run.

You are right to let your children choose what to give. "

Please remember this before you again express approval of a Bridezilla wanting to tell people to what to give her. You do that constantly. The rules are the same.

[Tough Love]

Terri at home wrote:

Any male who doesn't realize how bad it is to call a woman the c word is going to get himself in deep trouble.

Better tell that to John McCain. I'm surprised his beer princess didn't send him packing when he called her that...in public no less.

[Jay]

LW1
Ask Amy is such a loser!
These 14 year olds can work it out themselves.
Teenagers call each other names. They are mean. They are ridiculous. This is what teens do! This is how you grow up. It isn't easy. You don't get a free pass. Being a teenager is hard; and you have to fight to survive.
Ask Amy is an old woman who doesn't have any dates. there are no men who would ever want to sleep with her. So, here she is. She writes crappy advice to stupid letters.
DO NOT take her seriously.

[reader1]

LW1...the girl should have walked away after her apology for hitting the boys eye. That would have been the end of it. Then the name calling would have never happened.
LW2....the neighbor was wrong to confront like that but if a gift receipt wasn't included what other avenue did she have? I bet it was all misinterpreted wrong. Once a gift is passed on, there should be no strings attached anyway.

[blue]

reader1 wrote:

LW1...the girl should have walked away after her apology for hitting the boys eye. That would have been the end of it. Then the name calling would have never happened.
LW2....the neighbor was wrong to confront like that but if a gift receipt wasn't included what other avenue did she have? I bet it was all misinterpreted wrong. Once a gift is passed on, there should be no strings attached anyway.

The other choice she had was to accept the gifts graciously.

[Britni]

I have a friend who makes a list of all the things she wants her daughter to receive at her birthday and then asks you which one you would like to give. I've actually seen the list-items get checked off along with the givers name next to it. I gave in to it one year-but the next I thought "no way" and showed up with a huge bouquet of helium balloons instead. That was three years ago-and I haven't been invited to another birthday since. Now me and my "friend" are merely phone buddies and don't mention these incidents, but we obviously both think the other is ridiculous in their thinking. So I just let it be. I would much rather give to those in need or to friend's children who appreciate it.

[Laura]

jlp wrote:

"I don't know when gift-giving (and receiving) got so out of hand, but your neighbor's attitude is representative of a prevailing mind-set that the recipient (or a child's parents) should be able to choose their own gift—or take the money and run.
You are right to let your children choose what to give. "
Please remember this before you again express approval of a Bridezilla wanting to tell people to what to give her. You do that constantly. The rules are the same.

I completely disagree. The gifts that brides (and the grooms - remember them? They're getting married, too) receive are gifts that they are going to be using around their home for the next decade or two. Dinner sets, towels, kitchen appliances... etc. I don't want to get married and end up with a bunch of flouncy floral patterned fluff that I absolutely hate, because I'll have to look at it for the next ten years, which is when I'll probably be able to afford a whole new set of everything. A few gifts for a child's birthday party is nowhere close to being on the same scale.

[Laura]

blue wrote:

<quoted text>
The other choice she had was to accept the gifts graciously.

Completely agree. My mother would throttle me if she ever knew that I expressed the tiniest displeasure at any gift that I received from someone else, for any occasion, whether I hated it, didn't need it, or already had two of the exact same thing sitting on my shelf at home. There is absolutely no excuse for being so rude.