what's behind instant, strong sexual ...

what's behind instant, strong sexual attraction?

Posted in the Psychology Forum


Aldie, VA

#1 Jun 7, 2012
A few years ago, I randomly met this guy who was in the same group of friends as my then-boyfriend. I was happy with my boyfriend at the time, so was very surprised at my reaction to this guy. I'm really not boy-crazy... I appreciate and enjoy guys but I'm not one who's always on the hunt, if you will. But, when I laid eyes on this guy, I felt like my entire body was melting, LOL. Literally, I could barely string a sentence together.

Him: Hi, so you're X's girlfriend
My inner monologue: I WILL HAVE YOUR BABIES.
Me: Yep.

Him: So, you go to University of Y?
Me: What? Oh, um, yup.

This is the silliest thing, first of all, this person is actually fairly average looking, but I've never had such a strong or instant reaction to any guy, even those whom I'd consider better looking than him. Second of all, this out-of-proportion urge to jump his bones came with little to know knowledge of him as a person.

After not seeing or talking to him in many years, we just became facebook friends, and yup, he's still got it....*sigh* LOL

WHY does this happen? I feel like it's so out of character for me!

United States

#2 Jun 9, 2012
I had similar reaction to a man once. I was in love just hearing his voice. We dated for a while but he was just not that into me. I wonder if I ran him off with my assertive sexuality. I could NOT keep my hands( or tongue) off him! I make a point to avoid anywhere I might run into him as I might become suddenly inappropriate.

I'd like to know too, what's up with that?

Edmond, OK

#3 Nov 18, 2012
I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I thought I was crazy. This guy is so not my type and I'm very much taken but I wanted to do things to him that made me blush and I'm pretty sure it was mutual.

Canton, GA

#4 Nov 28, 2012
I ran into him a couple months ago! Second time I had seen him in about 14 years!! On the way home I could SMELL him. Talked on the phone after that and the sound of his voice took my breath away. Anyone with any insight? Past life connection? Pheromones?

Wellsboro, PA

#5 Dec 2, 2012
I spray pheromones I get from a Columbia biochem graduate student in the air. I works only if you are 1 on 1, but gets the women horny.

Levin, New Zealand

#6 Mar 31, 2013
I am going through this at the moment and I have no idea how to deal with it! The guy I'm hot for is one of my mans best friend. Do I avoid him altogether? Or just try and pretend I dont want to jump him? So annoying. I find myself wondering if he wants me too, even though I shouldn't. I feel like a bad girlfriend for having these thoughts.

Wellington, New Zealand

#7 Jun 16, 2013
I just googled this cause my boyfriends friend just moved in with us and this is the first time I have meet him. He isn't even good looking but I just want to do stuff with him! Instant sexual attraction ! I don't know why though my boyfriend and I have no problems, we are happy and in love so I don't know why I feel like this.

Since: Apr 13

Scappoose, Oregon USA

#8 Jul 14, 2013
I've only had that kind of reaction meeting 2 guys and it was during my early teens (which I guess isn't that long ago since I'm 18 now), I was somebody's gf at the time of the first one and my bf objected to me seeing anyone else even recreationally, so I simply fantasized it was this new guy the next few times my bf and me were going at it. when I met the second guy my bf had no such objections, so I practiced the rule that sometimes the only way to beat a temptation is to get into it! We did the physical thing (there were no love emotions or anything involved it was just last) 5 times over the next month, and then that thrill was over. I don't know whether it's chemical/pheromone thing or what! Girls aren't usually turned on through the visual cortex like men are, although I have to admit he was gorgeous :-)

Portsmouth, UK

#9 Nov 28, 2013
single until the age of 41

Iíd had relationships sure.

Was single for a couple of years, this girl turns up at work as a temp.

Cut a long story short. We ended up on a random date (we never even spoke to each other at work).

After 10 minutes of being on the 1st date - we kissed. I knew instantly that she was the one.

Weíre now married. Iím still crazy about her and she is with me.

Im convinced that there is something at DNA level.

We canít explain it - In fact it doesnít matter! Iím having the time of my life!!!

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Psychology Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Hazleton honors city's first police psychologist 9 hr pussified police 1
News How to Choose the Right Therapist for Your Child 13 hr HumanSpirit 1
News Behavior Health Director Dr. Jera Stewart opens... May 29 HumanSpirit 8
News Psychologists required May 27 HumanSpirit 1
News Repeat rapist holds Michigan psychologist license May 27 HumanSpirit 1
News Suicide rates increase sharply among African-Am... May 27 HumanSpirit 1
I have a fear of elbows (Nov '06) May 26 Chase 82
More from around the web