Questions regarding Shinto courtship

Posted in the Shinto Forum

John

North Conway, NH

#1 Sep 17, 2012
- Who initiates the courting process?
-What behaviors are considered appropriate for the couple?
-Is there an engagement announcement?
-Does the couple live together prior to the wedding?
-How is the wedding celebrated?
-Is there a dowry or a brides price?
-What are the community's expectations of marital behavior of the couple?
-Do they establish a separate household? If no,whose household do they join?
-Is divorce possible? If yes, how is it obtained?
Carianne

Athens, GA

#2 Nov 8, 2012
I would gladly help you out!
-Usually a Shinto priest will initiate the wedding. The weddings in Japan are more traditional than modern, so keep that in mind.
-Another important thing; couples in Japan are generally subtle in public. For example, kissing in public is very taboo, and is frowned upon. If you live in America or Europe, then that won't apply. Other than that, a couple of two Shinto practicers can behave like a usual, modern-day couple.
-I'm not exactly sure about engagement announcements. If I could take a guess, I would say that it is up to the couple whether or not they want to announce the marriage.
-I'm guessing it wouldn't matter either way.
-Money is extremely taboo in Japan, and is often wrapped in fabric when being gifted to have minimal contact with the money. Gifts at a wedding in Japan often burden the couple with the return of favor. At weddings, for example, gifts are given before or after the actual day, but never on that day. You give the couple a cash gift at the wedding to fund their honeymoon, but again because of the negative aspect of money it needs to be 'concealed' in an envelope. Traditional wedding gifts are functional ones - kitchen implements, pots and pans, etc.

That's really all I know! I hope it helps. Keep in mind that Shinto is a very passive practice, and it isn't very strict. Good luck to you, and best wishes.

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