I'm in love with a jehovah's witness ...

I'm in love with a jehovah's witness boy. .

Posted in the Jehovah's Witness Forum

First Prev
of 2
Next Last
ohmehdang

Sparta, WI

#1 Jun 21, 2012
I have been friends with this boy for about 4 years, and he is a jehovah witness. So therefore, things with him are a little more different than normal high school relationships. I started getting feelings for him about two years ago. A year later, after we had classes together and became closer friends, I told him how I felt on a facebook message. At school the next day, he was really happy towards me and said "remember what you told me in that message?" and smiled. That was the last we talked about it. Then a month later we had to play husband and wife in a play for language arts. In a texting conversation he told me he would be a much better husband than the character he was portraying. We have soo many inside jokes, and he is always telling me to come to his basketball games. When he is with his one friend who i am also friends with, they call me and we stay on the phone all night. He sneaks out of his house with his sometimes to come walk around with me late at night, and I am the only girl he has EVER hung out with. If his parents knew he snuck out, or stayed up late talking on the phone with me he would be in huge trouble. He has said some flirtatious/sexual things to me in a joking matter. But; he hasn't ever kissed/dated anyone, but I have.. So i am more experienced than him. But I really like him. I have been in other relationships but I always go back to him, and at the end of the day, he's who i could see myself being with forever. I need to figure out if the feelings are mutual. But, I have no idea how to make a move if he does like me. HELP!
bumpy

Raymore, MO

#2 Jun 21, 2012
This boy has probably been raised a jw and therefore he is taught to not start dating until he is old enough for marriage. He is probably a very nice boy and taught strict morals and principles of the jw beliefs. I am not at all surprised he has never even kissed a girl because that is a no no, although many of them will go against the beliefs at times and do whatever they want. They are teens and have pressures put on them like all other teens face. Just as you said he has snuck out of the house to hang out. You are what jw's consider worldly association and they tell their kids to stay away from you and always try to keep their kids in that organization and to only associate with other jw kids. The jw's do not approve of their kids marrying anyone outside of the jw organization either. So, if this boy plans on staying in this jw organization then he will not permit himself to let things go too much further and you will probably never get a kiss from him. It sounds like he is enjoying the late phone calls and sneaking out and may decide on his own at some point to stray from the jw's.
UNchained

Sevierville, TN

#3 Jun 21, 2012
ohmehdang wrote:
I have been friends with this boy for about 4 years, and he is a jehovah witness. So therefore, things with him are a little more different than normal high school relationships. I started getting feelings for him about two years ago. A year later, after we had classes together and became closer friends, I told him how I felt on a facebook message. At school the next day, he was really happy towards me and said "remember what you told me in that message?" and smiled. That was the last we talked about it. Then a month later we had to play husband and wife in a play for language arts. In a texting conversation he told me he would be a much better husband than the character he was portraying. We have soo many inside jokes, and he is always telling me to come to his basketball games. When he is with his one friend who i am also friends with, they call me and we stay on the phone all night. He sneaks out of his house with his sometimes to come walk around with me late at night, and I am the only girl he has EVER hung out with. If his parents knew he snuck out, or stayed up late talking on the phone with me he would be in huge trouble. He has said some flirtatious/sexual things to me in a joking matter. But; he hasn't ever kissed/dated anyone, but I have.. So i am more experienced than him. But I really like him. I have been in other relationships but I always go back to him, and at the end of the day, he's who i could see myself being with forever. I need to figure out if the feelings are mutual. But, I have no idea how to make a move if he does like me. HELP!
If he can keep from getting caught leading a double life and stays a JW he will probably be appointed as a minsterial servant one day.

The single JW girls will be all over him then.

He still might see you on the side and may even progress to having intimate experiences with you.

However, he will eventually end up with one of those JW girls and dump you by the wayside so don't get your hopes up.

“Paradise Earth”

Since: Sep 11

Location hidden

#4 Jun 21, 2012
ohmehdang wrote:
I have been friends with this boy for about 4 years, and he is a jehovah witness. So therefore, things with him are a little more different than normal high school relationships. I started getting feelings for him about two years ago. A year later, after we had classes together and became closer friends, I told him how I felt on a facebook message. At school the next day, he was really happy towards me and said "remember what you told me in that message?" and smiled. That was the last we talked about it. Then a month later we had to play husband and wife in a play for language arts. In a texting conversation he told me he would be a much better husband than the character he was portraying. We have soo many inside jokes, and he is always telling me to come to his basketball games. When he is with his one friend who i am also friends with, they call me and we stay on the phone all night. He sneaks out of his house with his sometimes to come walk around with me late at night, and I am the only girl he has EVER hung out with. If his parents knew he snuck out, or stayed up late talking on the phone with me he would be in huge trouble. He has said some flirtatious/sexual things to me in a joking matter. But; he hasn't ever kissed/dated anyone, but I have.. So i am more experienced than him. But I really like him. I have been in other relationships but I always go back to him, and at the end of the day, he's who i could see myself being with forever. I need to figure out if the feelings are mutual. But, I have no idea how to make a move if he does like me. HELP!
The best way to understand him is to understand what he believes. So do your homework :)

What Does the Bible Really Teach?
http://download.jw.org/files/media_books/bh_E...

Questions Young People Ask—Answers That Work, Volume 1
http://www.jw-media.org/rus/publications/yp_e...

Questions Young People Ask—Answers That Work, Volume 2
http://www.jw-media.org/rus/publications/yp2_...
little lamb

Australia

#6 Jun 21, 2012
ohmehdang wrote:
I have been friends with this boy for about 4 years, and he is a jehovah witness. So therefore, things with him are a little more different than normal high school relationships. I started getting feelings for him about two years ago. A year later, after we had classes together and became closer friends, I told him how I felt on a facebook message. At school the next day, he was really happy towards me and said "remember what you told me in that message?" and smiled. That was the last we talked about it. Then a month later we had to play husband and wife in a play for language arts. In a texting conversation he told me he would be a much better husband than the character he was portraying. We have soo many inside jokes, and he is always telling me to come to his basketball games. When he is with his one friend who i am also friends with, they call me and we stay on the phone all night. He sneaks out of his house with his sometimes to come walk around with me late at night, and I am the only girl he has EVER hung out with. If his parents knew he snuck out, or stayed up late talking on the phone with me he would be in huge trouble. He has said some flirtatious/sexual things to me in a joking matter. But; he hasn't ever kissed/dated anyone, but I have.. So i am more experienced than him. But I really like him. I have been in other relationships but I always go back to him, and at the end of the day, he's who i could see myself being with forever. I need to figure out if the feelings are mutual. But, I have no idea how to make a move if he does like me. HELP!
Well you don't think much of yourself

So you are quite prepared to have a guy ,who is not honest and upfront

There must be something wrong with you that you settle for being treated as something that has to be hidden, rather then proudly presented to his parents

Really you allow yourself to be treated like something to be ashamed of..

You really need to expect a bit more respect for your own person.

Your putting up with being treated wrong to start with..personally it is a turn off...that you allow it.
TPMP

Riverhead, NY

#7 Jun 21, 2012
ohmehdang wrote:
I have been friends with this boy for about 4 years, and he is a jehovah witness. So therefore, things with him are a little more different than normal high school relationships. I started getting feelings for him about two years ago. A year later, after we had classes together and became closer friends, I told him how I felt on a facebook message. At school the next day, he was really happy towards me and said "remember what you told me in that message?" and smiled. That was the last we talked about it. Then a month later we had to play husband and wife in a play for language arts. In a texting conversation he told me he would be a much better husband than the character he was portraying. We have soo many inside jokes, and he is always telling me to come to his basketball games. When he is with his one friend who i am also friends with, they call me and we stay on the phone all night. He sneaks out of his house with his sometimes to come walk around with me late at night, and I am the only girl he has EVER hung out with. If his parents knew he snuck out, or stayed up late talking on the phone with me he would be in huge trouble. He has said some flirtatious/sexual things to me in a joking matter. But; he hasn't ever kissed/dated anyone, but I have.. So i am more experienced than him. But I really like him. I have been in other relationships but I always go back to him, and at the end of the day, he's who i could see myself being with forever. I need to figure out if the feelings are mutual. But, I have no idea how to make a move if he does like me. HELP!
LOL!

I doubt most of the first time posters who introduce themselves with these long stories.

But, i believe everyone should be given the benefit of the doubt.

==========

If you are going to date him. You better get yourself accustomed to his beliefs.

It will not work in the end if you don't.

You will only corrupt him. So get packing and move on.

“GOD IS LOVE”

Since: Aug 09

WE ARE ALL ONE

#8 Jun 21, 2012
ohmehdang wrote:
I have been friends with this boy for about 4 years, and he is a jehovah witness. So therefore, things with him are a little more different than normal high school relationships.
My suggestion is to continue to be his friend as he may very well be having a lot of second thoughts and emotionally fighting against the red flags that he is seeing in the religion he is being raised in.

Due to the WTS teachings...he HAS TO keep your friendship a secret from his family but the fact that he does want to spend time with you...says so much. Be there if and when he needs a friend who does not share the WTS mindset and let HIM decide what he will do with all the do nots, cannots, shall nots and must nots that his religious leaders heap upon him.

He is young, as you are, and you both have a lot of living and learning to do yet. There is no harm in being a friend to him....but PLEASE be very cautious of possibly being sucked into the Watchtower's unique beliefs as these can...and will....be the source of much heartbreak and associations with ANY who are not JWs.

I wish you the best there is in this sticky situation you are faced with.

“John 4:23,24”

Since: Oct 09

Location hidden

#9 Jun 21, 2012
ohmehdang wrote:
I have been friends with this boy for about 4 years, and he is a jehovah witness. So therefore, things with him are a little more different than normal high school relationships. I started getting feelings for him about two years ago. A year later, after we had classes together and became closer friends, I told him how I felt on a facebook message. At school the next day, he was really happy towards me and said "remember what you told me in that message?" and smiled. That was the last we talked about it. Then a month later we had to play husband and wife in a play for language arts. In a texting conversation he told me he would be a much better husband than the character he was portraying. We have soo many inside jokes, and he is always telling me to come to his basketball games. When he is with his one friend who i am also friends with, they call me and we stay on the phone all night. He sneaks out of his house with his sometimes to come walk around with me late at night, and I am the only girl he has EVER hung out with. If his parents knew he snuck out, or stayed up late talking on the phone with me he would be in huge trouble. He has said some flirtatious/sexual things to me in a joking matter. But; he hasn't ever kissed/dated anyone, but I have.. So i am more experienced than him. But I really like him. I have been in other relationships but I always go back to him, and at the end of the day, he's who i could see myself being with forever. I need to figure out if the feelings are mutual. But, I have no idea how to make a move if he does like me. HELP!
This boy is going against his parents and everything he knows God has said in his Word, the Bible. He should be setting an example for you and helping you to get to know God too.

This can go one of two ways:

The boy can continue going against the Bible and his own conscience and you can have a relatively short fling (since you are so young) and both move on to something else.

The boy can get caught or he can allow his own conscience to put an end to his wrongdoing and the fling will end sooner. He will probably then avoid you completely.

Either way, you probably will be sorry you ever got involved. If you are a smart girl, you will end it.
guest

United States

#10 Jun 21, 2012
ohmehdang wrote:
I have been friends with this boy for about 4 years, and he is a jehovah witness. So therefore, things with him are a little more different than normal high school relationships. I started getting feelings for him about two years ago. A year later, after we had classes together and became closer friends, I told him how I felt on a facebook message. At school the next day, he was really happy towards me and said "remember what you told me in that message?" and smiled. That was the last we talked about it. Then a month later we had to play husband and wife in a play for language arts. In a texting conversation he told me he would be a much better husband than the character he was portraying. We have soo many inside jokes, and he is always telling me to come to his basketball games. When he is with his one friend who i am also friends with, they call me and we stay on the phone all night. He sneaks out of his house with his sometimes to come walk around with me late at night, and I am the only girl he has EVER hung out with. If his parents knew he snuck out, or stayed up late talking on the phone with me he would be in huge trouble. He has said some flirtatious/sexual things to me in a joking matter. But; he hasn't ever kissed/dated anyone, but I have.. So i am more experienced than him. But I really like him. I have been in other relationships but I always go back to him, and at the end of the day, he's who i could see myself being with forever. I need to figure out if the feelings are mutual. But, I have no idea how to make a move if he does like me. HELP!
He will either have to leave the JW religion or you will need to join. If either of these things are not satisfactory to either of you, then remain friends.

If he is "breaking the rules" already, he may be looking for a reason to leave, he obviously has deeper feelings for you than just a friendship.

You should just ask him if he considers you as someone he could spend a lifetime with, and start a discussion on the details.

Both of you being very young, none of the decisions you make will be unredeemable in the future, if things don't work out.

Make sure you know if he wants to step outside the bounds of his faith before taking any actions that would cause him to feel too much guilt for what he's doing!

That's not good for anybody.
TPMP

Riverhead, NY

#11 Jun 21, 2012
guest wrote:
<quoted text>
He will either have to leave the JW religion or you will need to join. If either of these things are not satisfactory to either of you, then remain friends.
If he is "breaking the rules" already, he may be looking for a reason to leave, he obviously has deeper feelings for you than just a friendship.
You should just ask him if he considers you as someone he could spend a lifetime with, and start a discussion on the details.
Both of you being very young, none of the decisions you make will be unredeemable in the future, if things don't work out.
Make sure you know if he wants to step outside the bounds of his faith before taking any actions that would cause him to feel too much guilt for what he's doing!
That's not good for anybody.
LOL!

What does he know?... What does she know?.

Him leaving the org and making a conscious decision about that?...I don't think that is even on the table..... YET.

They are simply both young and the hormones are flowing.

That is why this is DANGEROUS!.

==========

I know you mean well....But, they can't remain friends in the long run.

They can end it amicably. If that is what you mean.
Open minded bible student

Canada

#12 Jun 21, 2012
ohmehdang wrote:
I have been friends with this boy for about 4 years, and he is a jehovah witness. So therefore, things with him are a little more different than normal high school relationships. I started getting feelings for him about two years ago. A year later, after we had classes together and became closer friends, I told him how I felt on a facebook message. At school the next day, he was really happy towards me and said "remember what you told me in that message?" and smiled. That was the last we talked about it. Then a month later we had to play husband and wife in a play for language arts. In a texting conversation he told me he would be a much better husband than the character he was portraying. We have soo many inside jokes, and he is always telling me to come to his basketball games. When he is with his one friend who i am also friends with, they call me and we stay on the phone all night. He sneaks out of his house with his sometimes to come walk around with me late at night, and I am the only girl he has EVER hung out with. If his parents knew he snuck out, or stayed up late talking on the phone with me he would be in huge trouble. He has said some flirtatious/sexual things to me in a joking matter. But; he hasn't ever kissed/dated anyone, but I have.. So i am more experienced than him. But I really like him. I have been in other relationships but I always go back to him, and at the end of the day, he's who i could see myself being with forever. I need to figure out if the feelings are mutual. But, I have no idea how to make a move if he does like me. HELP!
You guys are young!

"Love" at this age is just your hormones... Been there... Done that... Your better off waiting until your older... Or at least have your life figured out (somewhat)...
ohmehdang

Sparta, WI

#13 Jun 21, 2012
TPMP wrote:
<quoted text> LOL!
What does he know?... What does she know?.
Him leaving the org and making a conscious decision about that?...I don't think that is even on the table..... YET.
They are simply both young and the hormones are flowing.
That is why this is DANGEROUS!.
==========
I know you mean well....But, they can't remain friends in the long run.
They can end it amicably. If that is what you mean.


I MUST add that when asked if he is a Jehovah's Witness, he says that his family isn't really "into" it and that they just don't celebrate holidays. What does that mean?
Yknot

Vincennes, IN

#14 Jun 21, 2012
Awww.......

Young love...

Every JW has a different approach to our beliefs...

Be his friend right now....

Go slow....

Building a mutual friendship forms a stronger foundation for a future relationship.

Let him make the first move kiss wise.... its a boy thing.

Be romantic--- hold hands, gaze into each others eyes, take long walks in knowing silence, talk about yall's goals and desires. Ask how he feels about our religion....63% of JW children leave the faith permanently. You can share your feelings about your faith too.

Beyond this.... don't make him the focus of your life. Continue in your school work, plan further education and if things are going to happen they will happen organically and with respect to each other's beliefs and needs.

As far as our 'beliefs'.... traditionally you would be encouraged to start a 'bible study' with his mom/aunt or close female relative/family friend but since he is doing the 'double life' thing I suspect he isn't interested in you studying right now.

One step at a time....don't rush.

If you want to speak to an 'Elder' in our faith I suggest you join www.jehovahs-witness.net instead as there are more born/raised JWs on that site. More sharing of experience and less debating. Your first post could be 'Elders, advice for a nonJW girl in love with a JW boy?"...

Best wishes sweety.... stay in school, be yourself and pursue your dreams.
Yknot

Vincennes, IN

#15 Jun 21, 2012
Awww.......

Young love...

Every JW has a different approach to our beliefs...

Be his friend right now....

Go slow....

Building a mutual friendship forms a stronger foundation for a future relationship.

Let him make the first move kiss wise.... its a boy thing.

Be romantic--- hold hands, gaze into each others eyes, take long walks in knowing silence, talk about yall's goals and desires. Ask how he feels about our religion....63% of JW children leave the faith permanently. You can share your feelings about your faith too.

Beyond this.... don't make him the focus of your life. Continue in your school work, plan further education and if things are going to happen they will happen organically and with respect to each other's beliefs and needs.

As far as our 'beliefs'.... traditionally you would be encouraged to start a 'bible study' with his mom/aunt or close female relative/family friend but since he is doing the 'double life' thing I suspect he isn't interested in you studying right now.

One step at a time....don't rush.

If you want to speak to an 'Elder' in our faith I suggest you join www.jehovahs-witness.net instead as there are more born/raised JWs on that site. More sharing of experience and less debating. Your first post could be 'Elders, advice for a nonJW girl in love with a JW boy?"...

Maybe ask him to look at topix and www.jehovahs-witness.net with you....talk about what yall read or post questions that yall have!

Best wishes sweety.... stay in school, be yourself and pursue your dreams.

Since: Feb 07

RI

#16 Jun 21, 2012
ohmehdang wrote:
<quoted text>
I MUST add that when asked if he is a Jehovah's Witness, he says that his family isn't really "into" it and that they just don't celebrate holidays. What does that mean?
It sounds like his family might be having second thoughts about the religion...or that he is somewhat embarrassed about it and doesn't want to frighten you off.

In any event, what others have told you is correct. If you continue in this relationship, either he will break from the JWs altogether, or you will be compelled to join the religion.

It won't be an easy path. Best of luck to you.
guest

Brookfield, CT

#17 Jun 21, 2012
TPMP wrote:
<quoted text>LOL!

What does he know?... What does she know?.

Him leaving the org and making a conscious decision about that?...I don't think that is even on the table..... YET.

They are simply both young and the hormones are flowing.

That is why this is DANGEROUS!.

==========

I know you mean well....But, they can't remain friends in the long run.

They can end it amicably. If that is what you mean.
I am very happily married to an ex JW.
We met in high school and had a friendship from our freshman year until our junior year, we have 18 years behind us and no regrets.

I left the LDS religion at the same time she left the JW's and we both started attending a nondenominational church.
I feel closer to God and my family than I ever felt as a kid with my parents, and in our discussions I understand, she feels the same way.

To say that "kids" don't have the wherewithal to think ahead because they are too young, is not supported by the facts that they can join the military, or vote in our elections.

Considering all "kids" to immature to make difficult decisions is what causes many of them to rebel and make the "wrong" ones.

If you want your children to be decent adults, treat them as such. Many "adults" that were continuously told how to live and what to do as teenagers, grow into adults unwilling or unable to make decisions for themselves. I don't wish that for my children, I expected the best from them and they have delivered in the good decisions they make.

Is that the case here? I don't know that it is, but I also don't know that it isn't.

“John 4:23,24”

Since: Oct 09

Location hidden

#18 Jun 21, 2012
ohmehdang wrote:
<quoted text>
I MUST add that when asked if he is a Jehovah's Witness, he says that his family isn't really "into" it and that they just don't celebrate holidays. What does that mean?
If what he says is true, it means he has probably not been carefully taught the scriptures from infancy, as he should have been. That is why it was so easy for him to disobey the scriptures. Still, this is a dead end situation for you.
unlisted

Greensboro, NC

#19 Jun 21, 2012
go with your heart slowly.. if he is showing the same feelings and is worried about this org... let him explain what the org believes..

i wish you the best.. if it happens you end up as a couple... you will be happy and no real god will punish you.

take care and as i said my feelings are to go slow and discuss what his org believes and what they would do..
SOS

Yonkers, NY

#20 Jun 21, 2012
eagleeye2 wrote:
<quoted text>
If what he says is true, it means he has probably not been carefully taught the scriptures from infancy, as he should have been. That is why it was so easy for him to disobey the scriptures. Still, this is a dead end situation for you.
Shut YOUR TRAP YOU ARSE,

ALL YOU HAVE IS NEGATIVE REMARKS TO DOLE OUT,

TALKING ABOUT HOW HE WAS RAISED AND ALL,

YOUR SON WOULD NOT OF COMMITED SUICIDE IF HE WAS RAISED PROPERLY YOU SELF RIGHTOUS ARSE.

I GREW UP IN A VERY STRICT JW FAMILY FROM BIRTH AND EVEN I DID NOT KILL MYSELF,
YOUR SON REALLY MUST HAVE GOTTEN IT GOOD FROM YOU.....
SOS

Yonkers, NY

#21 Jun 21, 2012
ohmehdang wrote:
<quoted text>
I MUST add that when asked if he is a Jehovah's Witness, he says that his family isn't really "into" it and that they just don't celebrate holidays. What does that mean?
Do NOT LISTEN TO EE,

SHE IS NOT A GOOD EXAMPLE OF A JW PARENT AS EVIDENT FORM THE SUICIDE OF HER SO,

PAY NO MIND TO HER HAUGHTY ATTITUDE.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Jehovah's Witness Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Jehovah (Yehovah) WAS in the NT, but REMOVED! 5 min the Mad JW 159
Is God our high priest pleading before God for... 6 min the Mad JW 166
What does "abstain from blood" mean? 9 min red blood relative 303
YES-Jesus WAS once known as Michael (Sep '14) 9 min rsss11 11,860
Believing Your Church = Being an Antichrist 24 min the Mad JW 157
Why we JWs are so HAPPY! (Apr '15) 50 min the Mad JW 2,663
CHURCHianity: Jesus Pretended to Die for you! (Aug '16) 51 min the Mad JW 1,593
ONE God 1 hr rsss11 2,079
Fallibility of the WT/GB 1 hr staphisagria 62