Rachel

Portadown, UK

#61 Jul 14, 2011
florida native wrote:
<quoted text>
If it is a Biblical discussion, then there should be no arguement.
If you feel that some of the scripture is being taken out of context, then maybe you can discuss this with her (respectfully of course).
A nice talk about scripture with your Mom might clear up some misunderstandings on both sides.
Sorry,there was no discussion just a quote from mom.

Rachel
Good parent

AOL

#62 Jul 14, 2011
Its really up to your parents to decide until you turn eighteen. I personally think fifteen is a little too old to spank a child, but that is just my opinion.

When I was younger, I got spankings too. I remember one time I called my step mother a swear word because I was angry. My father dealt with that by pulling down my pants and giving me a hard spanking in my jockey shorts in front of my stepmother and my brother and sister. The shame of being spanked in my underwear was worse than the pain, but I remember it did hurt!

My best advice to you is you'll be eighteen in a few years, try to get along with your parents until than.
Ger

Sterling Heights, MI

#63 Jul 14, 2011
OP...
spanking your bare bottom at age 15 is highly inappropriate.
If you're old enough to accept the conditions of being baptised into this religion, then certainly you are old enough to be reasoned with and given appropriate consequences that will actually teach you something (discipline in its truest sense)..and not leave you emotionally hurt & confused.
My advice is to sit your mom down when she is calm & rational...and tell her that while you will respect her to your best ability from now on.. you will accept any non-violent consequence she metes out. But tell her that you will NOT accept violence, much less naked violence, as a consequence.
Make sure to remain very calm...and to stand your ground. This should be presented as non-negotiable ...and with as much diplomacy and tact as you can muster at your tender age.
You deserve a life free of physical violence disguised as "discipline".
My guess is that your mom doesn't know any other way, and is doing this out of ignorance. Its also likely she expects you to just accept the hitting. So be gentle young lady. There are many great articles from psychiatrists on the internet about this topic if it will help you. Including the prison statistics.
Best wishes.
TPMP 35

Huntington Station, NY

#64 Jul 14, 2011
Good parent wrote:
Its really up to your parents to decide until you turn eighteen. I personally think fifteen is a little too old to spank a child, but that is just my opinion.
When I was younger, I got spankings too. I remember one time I called my step mother a swear word because I was angry. My father dealt with that by pulling down my pants and giving me a hard spanking in my jockey shorts in front of my stepmother and my brother and sister. The shame of being spanked in my underwear was worse than the pain, but I remember it did hurt!
My best advice to you is you'll be eighteen in a few years, try to get along with your parents until than.
Is this post for real?

I never remember getting my pants pulled down...LOL!

I just got hit by whatever was handy....LOL!

Seriously.....Kids need discipline...not to be hit, though...NEVER!

We live in a much too permissive society, nowadays.

However, it is a question of what kind of discipline and how often parents should discipline.

There are also parents who need anger management.....The streeses of life are too much too beat, at times for parents....Kids get a raw deal, sometimes.

In an ideal world. There should be a "license" before one can become a parent....That is in an ideal world.

Unfortunately, we don't live in one.....That is becoming more and more apparent as we get closer to the end of this system of things.

==========

Question: Why in this "day and age" when there is more attention focused on the well being of children more than ever before.....Why is ther more discord and more people are less connected than ever before?.

I don't have an answer to that.....Just something that crossed my mind.....Hmmmmmmm

TPMP 35
dee lightful

Anderson, SC

#65 Jul 14, 2011
florida native wrote:
<quoted text>
Or, she could just move out.
Then she could curse as much as she wanted to.
A 15 yr old should not move out of the home. The mother should learn there are other ways to discipline a teenager and spanking is the worse way imaginable. What is wrong with just saying there will be no cursing in this house, and say like you mean it?
At what age does spanking become inappropriate? All it does is set up very strong anger and antagonism toward the parent and then they won't accept any kind of criticism.
The point is to teach not show how powerful you are.
TPMP 35

Huntington Station, NY

#66 Jul 14, 2011
dee lightful wrote:
<quoted text> A 15 yr old should not move out of the home. The mother should learn there are other ways to discipline a teenager and spanking is the worse way imaginable. What is wrong with just saying there will be no cursing in this house, and say like you mean it?
At what age does spanking become inappropriate? All it does is set up very strong anger and antagonism toward the parent and then they won't accept any kind of criticism.
The point is to teach not show how powerful you are.
Good post, Dee.

TPMP 35
earthling

Canberra, Australia

#67 Jul 14, 2011
Rachel wrote:
<quoted text>
My earlier reply seems to have got lost I will retype it.
Thanks to all for the advice,My mom has been having home visits from the jw and now attends the kingdom hall,my dad is not around
Our whole lifestyle has changed ive lost the fun mom I enjoyed.The spanking I got was not a little swat and the fact that my mom would punish me like that hurts just as much.
Reporting here would be a scary thing for me,it would tear me apart,she is still my mom,she is all ive got.Though knowing that option is there brings me some comfort cause when I read you'r post that (they will be told to remove their pants)it hit me like hey thats me next time I slip up and its to horrible to deal with.
Things are ok at the moment but its like walking on eggs right now and I just want my mom back like she used to be.
Thanks again all.
Rachel
hi rachel , maybe you could try writing your mom a letter (keep a copy for yourself to refer back to). Let her know how much you love her and how much what has happened has hurt you. Be respectful in the letter. Let her know what you said above about missing her and wanting her back. be honest with her and tell her you want to be able to confide in her without fear. Remind her of how much of a good daughter you are and that sometimes you do make mistakes because you are human, but you always try your best.
this is just a suggestion, ultimately you must do what you think is right for you.
Peace
earthling

Canberra, Australia

#68 Jul 14, 2011
Rachel wrote:
<quoted text>
Sorry,there was no discussion just a quote from mom.
Rachel
hi again rachel, sometimes quotes from the bible can be twisted and can mean many different things depending on their interpretation.
I think for a person your age the most important thing to learn is how to use reason and logic.(this really should be taught in all schools)
If you can use logic you are less likely to be fooled by what people say.
It is especially important in the internet age.

A great book to teach you how to reason is:

Thinking Clearly - A Guide to Critical Reasoning by Jill LeBlanc published by W.W. Norton & Company Inc.

If u can't get it online you may find it in a university book shop.
This book helps you to use logic in your life but also will do wonders for your studies. Its great for writing better essays, makes writing them real easy.
You'll also have the edge over other students as not many know how to think clearly in their school work.
Best of all you will use the wonderful mind you have to its fullest and think for yourself and gain confidence in your decision making.
Good luck :)
Peace
Rachel

Portadown, UK

#69 Jul 14, 2011
Hi all.
I'd just like to say thanks again to all who have responded,there has been conflicting views and some heated exchanges i'm sorry if anyone has felt hurt on my behalf,I never thought my question would create such a heated response.It will take a while for me to digest but my feelings now are calmer and I can think clearer about my options. bye for now.

Rachel

“Why do Jw's LIE?”

Since: Oct 09

Me And The Love of My Life,Jay

#70 Jul 14, 2011
dee lightful wrote:
<quoted text> A 15 yr old should not move out of the home. The mother should learn there are other ways to discipline a teenager and spanking is the worse way imaginable. What is wrong with just saying there will be no cursing in this house, and say like you mean it?
At what age does spanking become inappropriate? All it does is set up very strong anger and antagonism toward the parent and then they won't accept any kind of criticism.
The point is to teach not show how powerful you are.
I Love and agree 100% with YOUR EXCELLENT POST!
SO many Different ways a Parent can be firm and Punish to TEACH Their blessing a good solid lesson, BY laying their Hands on them is NOT the way...But to be a GOOD PARENT, it takes so much MORE to TEACH than a firm HAND,belt, or whatever...SO much More...
dee lightful

Anderson, SC

#71 Jul 14, 2011
earthling wrote:
<quoted text>
hi rachel , maybe you could try writing your mom a letter (keep a copy for yourself to refer back to). Let her know how much you love her and how much what has happened has hurt you. Be respectful in the letter. Let her know what you said above about missing her and wanting her back. be honest with her and tell her you want to be able to confide in her without fear. Remind her of how much of a good daughter you are and that sometimes you do make mistakes because you are human, but you always try your best.
this is just a suggestion, ultimately you must do what you think is right for you.
Peace
That is a wonderful suggestion, earthling,, i hope Rachel will consider it.
dee lightful

Anderson, SC

#72 Jul 14, 2011
TPMP 35 wrote:
<quoted text> Good post, Dee.
TPMP 35
Thanks, TPMP! i think we are all guilty of hitting out in anger and frustration with a swat on the butt but I can't even imagine the indignity of putting a 15 yr over my knee and spanking them. I think that is way out of line and the mental pain can be so damaging to a young adult in those difficult teen years.
Hmmm

Carpentersville, IL

#73 Jul 15, 2011
dee lightful wrote:
<quoted text> Thanks, TPMP! i think we are all guilty of hitting out in anger and frustration with a swat on the butt but I can't even imagine the indignity of putting a 15 yr over my knee and spanking them. I think that is way out of line and the mental pain can be so damaging to a young adult in those difficult teen years.
It crosses the line doesn't it??
Children in cults have high rates of abuse, especially sexual abuse, and spanking a teenager over the knee has a sexual component doesn't it???
This is one sick cult, and a danger to the children of its brainwashed members.
We as a society suffer over and over, when we look the other way when children are abused.

“Tight lines”

Since: Jun 07

Location hidden

#74 Jul 15, 2011
Hmmm wrote:
<quoted text>
It crosses the line doesn't it??
Children in cults have high rates of abuse, especially sexual abuse, and spanking a teenager over the knee has a sexual component doesn't it???
This is one sick cult, and a danger to the children of its brainwashed members.
We as a society suffer over and over, when we look the other way when children are abused.
1: Only YOU would think that a Mother spanking her teenage daughter as some kind of sexual componet. Maybe YOU incorportae spankings into sex? Nevermind.. that is an image I don't want burned into my head.

2: In the posters family, NOBODY in the family is a Witness so, IF you think this is some kind of abuse, it is NOT from a Witness family.
dee lightful

Anderson, SC

#75 Jul 15, 2011
florida native wrote:
<quoted text>
1: Only YOU would think that a Mother spanking her teenage daughter as some kind of sexual componet. Maybe YOU incorportae spankings into sex? Nevermind.. that is an image I don't want burned into my head.
2: In the posters family, NOBODY in the family is a Witness so, IF you think this is some kind of abuse, it is NOT from a Witness family.
There is a sexual component with spanking a teenager over one's knee- esp a father doing it to a daughter.
Witness or not it is abuse of authority.
The poster said her mother has changed since studying with the witnesses. My impression is she now uses pain and fear for punishment, which is what is taught by the WTS. yOU KNOW ...SPARE THE ROD !!!!
unlisted

Greensboro, NC

#76 Jul 15, 2011
i would not want to live in a home that a father says the child can always move out. that to me is the brainless attitude of a jw--why do i say this? because this is the impression i am getting being here.

a 15 year old girl over the knee of a parent is bizarre. there are so many other ways to discipline a child.

it takes only a split second to hit a child and do serious damage. we see it and read it time after time on tv and the papers.

this org is beginning to sound dangerous with what they believe in and what they do in their lives.

and to FN suppose (hypothetical ok not making accusations nothing) you have a child who is 15 she says one curse word... you pull her pants down over her knee and spank her.. she is hurting. you accidentally hit her in the tail bone. she is taken for treatment because of the pain-- how do you explain to drs. what happened?

do you not think someone is going to think that is sort of bizarre?

do you have children and if so a teen? no need to answer that is your business but think about it..

have a good day

“Tight lines”

Since: Jun 07

Location hidden

#77 Jul 15, 2011
dee lightful wrote:
<quoted text> There is a sexual component with spanking a teenager over one's knee- esp a father doing it to a daughter.
Witness or not it is abuse of authority.
The poster said her mother has changed since studying with the witnesses. My impression is she now uses pain and fear for punishment, which is what is taught by the WTS. yOU KNOW ...SPARE THE ROD !!!!
Again.. I am not sure how spanking comes into play in YOUR bedroom but, that you YOUR business, not mine.
My impression is that "time outs" and "groundings" have not worked in the past so there was a need to take it to the next level.
The girl even said that she usually gets other kinds of punishments.
Obviously, those are not working.

“Tight lines”

Since: Jun 07

Location hidden

#78 Jul 15, 2011
unlisted wrote:
i would not want to live in a home that a father says the child can always move out. that to me is the brainless attitude of a jw--why do i say this? because this is the impression i am getting being here.
a 15 year old girl over the knee of a parent is bizarre. there are so many other ways to discipline a child.
it takes only a split second to hit a child and do serious damage. we see it and read it time after time on tv and the papers.
this org is beginning to sound dangerous with what they believe in and what they do in their lives.
and to FN suppose (hypothetical ok not making accusations nothing) you have a child who is 15 she says one curse word... you pull her pants down over her knee and spank her.. she is hurting. you accidentally hit her in the tail bone. she is taken for treatment because of the pain-- how do you explain to drs. what happened?
do you not think someone is going to think that is sort of bizarre?
do you have children and if so a teen? no need to answer that is your business but think about it..
have a good day
I am a firm believer if the "My house, my rules" motto.
I was raised like that and I am carrying it on.
While I am not opposed to spankings, I am not a spanker myself.
My son got to eat soap once for cursing.
Addressing your "tail bone" senerio. I fail to see how an open palm can cause damage to a tail bone. If you are using a paddle or a fist, I would agree but, an open palm is too soft to cause damage to bone. I suppose if you are a professional Martial Artist intent on hurting bone but, I am highly doubting that is the case.
And I LOVE how you assume that "the org" is to blame for this.
Dpending on what you read, somewhere between 31 and 60% of households use spanking as a form of dicipline in America.
Less then 1% OF Americans are Witnesses.
Do you plan on blaming "the dangerous org" for all of those other spanking households?
Hmmm

Carpentersville, IL

#79 Jul 15, 2011
dee lightful wrote:
<quoted text> There is a sexual component with spanking a teenager over one's knee- esp a father doing it to a daughter.
Witness or not it is abuse of authority.
The poster said her mother has changed since studying with the witnesses. My impression is she now uses pain and fear for punishment, which is what is taught by the WTS. yOU KNOW ...SPARE THE ROD !!!!
Yes, it is.
The truth is, the twisted mother was attracted to the cult, in part due to the horrible way the cult abuses children, and condones abuse.
I saw many disgusting things with JW parents and the way they abused my friends.
I was so blessed to spend lots of "worldly" friends with functional families and loving parents.
I saw what works for teens, and the Jehovah's Witness way which turns teens to alcohol, drugs and promiscuous sex.
Hmmm

Carpentersville, IL

#80 Jul 15, 2011
shel54401 wrote:
<quoted text>
I Love and agree 100% with YOUR EXCELLENT POST!
SO many Different ways a Parent can be firm and Punish to TEACH Their blessing a good solid lesson, BY laying their Hands on them is NOT the way...But to be a GOOD PARENT, it takes so much MORE to TEACH than a firm HAND,belt, or whatever...SO much More...
Bottom line, the wBTS is running a cult.
The cult breaks family ties, all emotional ties must be to the WBTS.
Loving discipline takes time, patience and enforcement.
Much quicker to just slap, kick, belt the kid, and get right back to "studying" your Watchtower.

Nice to see the Jehovah's witnesses on this forum all in full support of child abuse.
Just keep proving what all of us who had the sad reality of growing up in this evil cult state.

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