I'm a Catholic dating a Pakistani Muslim girl. How far can this go?

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sativ

Bridgewater, NJ

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#1
Dec 8, 2009
 

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Hello,

I've recently started to date a Pakistani Muslim girl. I myself am Catholic. We've been seeing each other close to two months and its really gotten "intense." She just turned 31 and I just turned 30 so we are mature adults. We've really grown to like each other. I'm trying to figure out of this is all real and it just feels right. In her culture things move quickly and she has already discussed marriage. I really would love to have her in my life but I can't convert to Islam. I'm open to learning the religion but I can't leave my religion behind. Its even a huge disrespect to my family as well. I don't know how I would feel about my kids being Muslim as well. I might be more open to that since from I know the Muslim religion raises good kids and teaches them good values/morals.

She is almost done with med school and comes from a family of doctors and lawyers. My family makes a decent living but we have no doctors or lawyers. I myself work in the IT field and just make a respectable living. Nothing I'm ashambed of but I'm not sure how that is looked upon when you are trying to date a Pakistani Muslim doctor.

At this point I'm just not sure how to proceed. We are crazy about each other but what can I do. If religion or her family stops us from being together I wouldn't know what I would do.

“The Defiant Dhimmi”

Since: Apr 08

Scholar of the Obvious

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#2
Dec 8, 2009
 

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If you are dating, she is not a good Paki Muslim girl.
sativ

Bridgewater, NJ

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#3
Dec 8, 2009
 
Wilberhum wrote:
If you are dating, she is not a good Paki Muslim girl.
not sure what that means. i'm not very familiar with the Muslim faith so you'll have to forgive me.
sativ

Bridgewater, NJ

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#4
Dec 8, 2009
 

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how was this post voted spam, funny and clueless?

maybe some would frown upon our relationship but it is real. we haven't done anything sexually yet has she has strong beliefs with that.

our feelings have gotten stronger as our relationship went on and this is why this is all coming out. i asked her all this in the beginning and she casually said if her mom was fine with it this would work. now she is singing a different tune.

i'd hope no one judges me or frowns upon us because we come from different religions. it is what it is. to me why would God frown upon two of his children being happy? we were all born into a lot of what we are.

“The Defiant Dhimmi”

Since: Apr 08

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Dec 8, 2009
 

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sativ wrote:
<quoted text>
not sure what that means. i'm not very familiar with the Muslim faith so you'll have to forgive me.
Are you trying to make Paki's or Muslims, or Catholics, or yourself look stupid?

I'm afraid only the later is working.
sativ

Bridgewater, NJ

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Dec 8, 2009
 

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Wilberhum wrote:
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Are you trying to make Paki's or Muslims, or Catholics, or yourself look stupid?
I'm afraid only the later is working.
Thanks for your replies. Sorry I can't be as smart as you.
Jonathan

Saint John, Canada

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#7
Dec 8, 2009
 

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The girl will coax you to convert to Islam. She will say her parents will kill her if she marries a infidel.This is a new trend in Islamic'" dawah"(propagation) in the west. Now ,the muslim ladies are after white men and then slowly try to convconvert them,saying that their parents are very strict.Be a manwith balls, and see that if she really loves you,she will accept you as you are and even your future children will not be forced in the islamic faith.
sativ

Bridgewater, NJ

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Dec 8, 2009
 

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Jonathan wrote:
The girl will coax you to convert to Islam. She will say her parents will kill her if she marries a infidel.This is a new trend in Islamic'" dawah"(propagation) in the west. Now ,the muslim ladies are after white men and then slowly try to convconvert them,saying that their parents are very strict.Be a manwith balls, and see that if she really loves you,she will accept you as you are and even your future children will not be forced in the islamic faith.
she has recently started discussing this. it really came as a shock to me since when we first discussed it this was not an issue. i don't even know if its so much her parents but her family. her family would frown upon her getting married to a non Muslim. from her description the mother seems a bit more liberal.

this is a new trend to convert guys to Islam?
sativ

Bridgewater, NJ

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#9
Dec 8, 2009
 

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Jonathan wrote:
The girl will coax you to convert to Islam. She will say her parents will kill her if she marries a infidel.This is a new trend in Islamic'" dawah"(propagation) in the west. Now ,the muslim ladies are after white men and then slowly try to convconvert them,saying that their parents are very strict.Be a manwith balls, and see that if she really loves you,she will accept you as you are and even your future children will not be forced in the islamic faith.
is it even possible for her family to accept me? she is asking for me to meet with at least her brothers soon.
Flying Paki

Lahore, Pakistan

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Dec 8, 2009
 

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sativ wrote:
<quoted text>
she has recently started discussing this. it really came as a shock to me since when we first discussed it this was not an issue. i don't even know if its so much her parents but her family. her family would frown upon her getting married to a non Muslim. from her description the mother seems a bit more liberal.
this is a new trend to convert guys to Islam?
Let me suggest you a win win solution, why don't both of you convert to hindu and get maried in front of Rabbi? no one of your familly will get hurt in the feeling ,right ?

Since: Nov 09

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#11
Dec 8, 2009
 

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sativ wrote:
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is it even possible for her family to accept me? she is asking for me to meet with at least her brothers soon.
You have to get a feel of whether her family is liberal or not. You can be honest with her. The main tenet in Islam is for a believer to state his belief in one God and that Muhammad was his prophet.If you don't believe in that, and you convert, you'll be lying to yourself. Tell this to her. No one should ever revert to Islam if you're not comfortable with it. Your intentions count.

If her family is liberal, you guys can opt for a civil marriage.

Let me ask you this...are you ready for marriage?

“I love my total freedom..do u?”

Since: Nov 08

Jellystone National Park.

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#12
Dec 8, 2009
 

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If you wanted to marry her... you would have to convert to Islam .. unless she leaves Islam .. its that simple.

She maybe 31 but she knows the rules of her faith .... but its only been for 2 months.

But in replying ... I do think its a bit of spam. Only because we have had this type of thing on here before. This person does not sound 30 in the way they write....

this guy wrote:** this is a new trend to convert guys to Islam?.... oh please... has this person been hiding under a rock????? and also about to meet her brothers..... if you are true.... they will just turn around and say.. if you want to date our sister or even marry her... you will convert to Islam ... no ifs or buts about it.....

its only been 2 months....
bmz

Singapore, Singapore

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#13
Dec 8, 2009
 

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cairene wrote:
<quoted text>
You have to get a feel of whether her family is liberal or not. You can be honest with her. The main tenet in Islam is for a believer to state his belief in one God and that Muhammad was his prophet.If you don't believe in that, and you convert, you'll be lying to yourself. Tell this to her. No one should ever revert to Islam if you're not comfortable with it. Your intentions count.
If her family is liberal, you guys can opt for a civil marriage.
Let me ask you this...are you ready for marriage?
Get her to convert instead and live happily ever after. Why subject the next generations to these cultish rules.
Salomon

Saint Louis, MO

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Dec 8, 2009
 

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Jonathan wrote:
The girl will coax you to convert to Islam. She will say her parents will kill her if she marries a infidel.This is a new trend in Islamic'" dawah"(propagation) in the west. Now ,the muslim ladies are after white men and then slowly try to convconvert them,saying that their parents are very strict.Be a manwith balls, and see that if she really loves you,she will accept you as you are and even your future children will not be forced in the islamic faith

Jonathan,

you are absolutely right having been through this experience myself many years ago and this is exactly what the girl and her family said: if you dont convert to islam before marrying our daughter any muslim has the right to kill you both. I then asked: can I convert to islam for the sake of the marriage and then leave it? Their answer was: NO cause any muslim can kill you for apostasy. I walked out of the situation convinced that islam is a death cult which I will never join
Tim Harry

Saint John, Canada

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Dec 8, 2009
 

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Salomon wrote:
Jonathan wrote:
The girl will coax you to convert to Islam. She will say her parents will kill her if she marries a infidel.This is a new trend in Islamic'" dawah"(propagation) in the west. Now ,the muslim ladies are after white men and then slowly try to convconvert them,saying that their parents are very strict.Be a manwith balls, and see that if she really loves you,she will accept you as you are and even your future children will not be forced in the islamic faith
Jonathan,
you are absolutely right having been through this experience myself many years ago and this is exactly what the girl and her family said: if you dont convert to islam before marrying our daughter any muslim has the right to kill you both. I then asked: can I convert to islam for the sake of the marriage and then leave it? Their answer was: NO cause any muslim can kill you for apostasy. I walked out of the situation convinced that islam is a death cult which I will never join
Bravo Salomon! Before,only the Muslim males were after Western ladies,and pose as if they are not very much into Islam.The reality comes only after marriage.She will be forced to be a Muslim,wearing a purdah,prevented from seeing her parents and friends,and turned out as a mere 'baby factory'. Now, the Muslim ladies too got into this business of 'catching 'clients for Islam
bmz

Singapore, Singapore

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#16
Dec 8, 2009
 
Salomon wrote:
Jonathan wrote:
The girl will coax you to convert to Islam. She will say her parents will kill her if she marries a infidel.This is a new trend in Islamic'" dawah"(propagation) in the west. Now ,the muslim ladies are after white men and then slowly try to convconvert them,saying that their parents are very strict.Be a manwith balls, and see that if she really loves you,she will accept you as you are and even your future children will not be forced in the islamic faith
Jonathan,
you are absolutely right having been through this experience myself many years ago and this is exactly what the girl and her family said: if you dont convert to islam before marrying our daughter any muslim has the right to kill you both. I then asked: can I convert to islam for the sake of the marriage and then leave it? Their answer was: NO cause any muslim can kill you for apostasy. I walked out of the situation convinced that islam is a death cult which I will never join
Good on you. But there is always the probability of marrying one, have children, divorce her/him, take away the children and save them from ISLAM forever... Like muslims using birth for an islamic cause the world can do the same to save humanity. No more Muslim emission.
sativ

Bridgewater, NJ

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#17
Dec 8, 2009
 

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i'd love for her to convert to my religion but that doesn't even seem fesible. if it's as cut and dry that if I don't convert we can't marry than I'm not sure what to do.

as far as marriage i'm not sure if i am ready for it. i think this girl is great so far and yes its early. to me dating should end up in marriage and i think she sees that too. so when we first started seeing each other i thought me being Catholic was fine. i personally would have not brought up this marriage topic but it seems to be a concern of hers. if we can't get married why even date? i think her and I share that same view.

and no, i have not really been truly exposed to the Muslim faith till this year. i have Muslim friends but they never seemed comfortable talking aout their religion. i met another Paki Muslim girl in the summer and she seemed very liberal. and even as liberal as she was she still was very loyal to her parents. i started to learn of the rules of being Muslim from that relationship. so yes, i have to admit if people are dating and converting their religions just to marry that is completely new to me.
sativ

Bridgewater, NJ

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#18
Dec 8, 2009
 

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i'm being completely truthful and honestly seek any advice on this matter. trust me i have much better things to do than make up stories on a msg board. I went to Catholic school for a good part of my life and have not much been involved in my church since.

i appreciate all the genuine replies.
bmz

Singapore, Singapore

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#19
Dec 8, 2009
 

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sativ wrote:
i'd love for her to convert to my religion but that doesn't even seem fesible. if it's as cut and dry that if I don't convert we can't marry than I'm not sure what to do.
as far as marriage i'm not sure if i am ready for it. i think this girl is great so far and yes its early. to me dating should end up in marriage and i think she sees that too. so when we first started seeing each other i thought me being Catholic was fine. i personally would have not brought up this marriage topic but it seems to be a concern of hers. if we can't get married why even date? i think her and I share that same view.
and no, i have not really been truly exposed to the Muslim faith till this year. i have Muslim friends but they never seemed comfortable talking aout their religion. i met another Paki Muslim girl in the summer and she seemed very liberal. and even as liberal as she was she still was very loyal to her parents. i started to learn of the rules of being Muslim from that relationship. so yes, i have to admit if people are dating and converting their religions just to marry that is completely new to me.
I think you should not get involved with Islam at all. Whoever out there wants to get involved with Islam need to make it very clear to from the beginning your faith will not allow you to convert or you will not convert for marriage. Don't succumb to their brainwashing. Just think about the jeopardy you put your children and their children into. Sharia will be IMPOSED on them as one Muslim girl has already declared.
bmz

Singapore, Singapore

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#20
Dec 8, 2009
 

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sativ wrote:
i'd hope no one judges me or frowns upon us because we come from different religions. it is what it is. to me why would God frown upon two of his children being happy? we were all born into a lot of what we are.
Warning sign .. it is this sort of thinking that will sway you into accepting Islam. It is your belief that God is good, but once you are into Islam there are no more a charitable God. There is only Allah and mohammad his last messenger and the only charity in your heart is only for the ummah. The love you speak of will no longer exist. It will be supplanted by a fear for man - muslims.

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