“Wear white at night.”

Since: Jun 09

Albuquerque

#41 Feb 20, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>You have a Demon infestation. I will think about praying for you. Have you made a donation to church this week? Your answer can have a direct impact on my prayer.
I'm out fifteen bucks; five in the Sunday basket, five for tamale raw material and five in the prayer group basket. I'm not sure what they do with that but I sure hope they don't burn it along with our petitions to the Lord that we write on little pieces of paper. No, wait, ten bucks in the Sunday basket. I usually just put five but a ten spot was all I had. That and one half of a twenty dollar bill which I carry in my wallet so it looks like I'm actually solvent.

“God Loves Ilks!”

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#42 Feb 20, 2013
15th Dalai Lama wrote:
<quoted text>
The truth is stanger than fiction, my darling, but the truth is I was being probed by aliens.
Dear, you have always told me that you do not believe in aliens.
I just don't know what to do or what to believe anymore.

“God Loves Ilks!”

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#43 Feb 20, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>Woman get a hold of your self. Are you in jail or at home. Have you been hitting the wine already? What is clear is this. Your husband has been neglecting his duty. If you where my wife, you would not be sitting right now. Repeating myself would result in a black eye.
A complete stranger had paid for my bail. I do not know why or who, but somehow something is fishy.

“Wear white at night.”

Since: Jun 09

Albuquerque

#44 Feb 20, 2013
Nettiebelle wrote:
<quoted text>Dear, you have always told me that you do not believe in aliens.
I just don't know what to do or what to believe anymore.
Trust me, sweetheart, I'm always right and I never lie.

“God Loves Ilks!”

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#45 Feb 20, 2013
15th Dalai Lama wrote:
<quoted text>
Trust me, sweetheart, I'm always right and I never lie.
I have always trusted you but this story about these aliens is too hard to believe.
Where were you all this time, really?

“God Loves Ilks!”

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#46 Feb 20, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>Woman get a hold of your self. Are you in jail or at home. Have you been hitting the wine already? What is clear is this. Your husband has been neglecting his duty. If you where my wife, you would not be sitting right now. Repeating myself would result in a black eye.

I wrote:
A complete stranger had paid for my bail. I do not know why or who, but somehow something is fishy.

And, don't think I didn't see your threat here.
And, to think this threat is coming from a man who goes downtown with only an unbuttoned trench coat on in 15 degree weather.
Who has REALLY been hitting the wine, huh?

I need my husband that I remember back!
My broken finger hurts because my husband's dog bit it and I am out of pain meds and the car is in the shop!
~sob~

Since: Dec 09

Chicago, IL

#47 Feb 20, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>Do you know how long it will take to get to HELL? There is no round trip ticket! Get right with Jesus!
What a coincidence! You're in luck. Ms. Nettibelle's 'Jet Packs and Sundries Emporium' has a special this week on disposable Get Out of Hell Quick mini-teletransporters.
But you'd better hurry if you want one - supplies are limited - and Nettiebelle's has a strict policy of first come, first served.
_an anonymous Good Samaritan.
Lordofnuts

Matthews, NC

#48 Feb 20, 2013
Cookie_Parker wrote:
<quoted text>
LOL!!!!
Ah, foiled again. The preacher man is "exposed".
But who will help Nettiebelle and 15th get together at last?
A preacher can never be exposed, only reclassified as a fake Christian. A real Christian would NEVER do that! Then of course he can be forgiven and be a real Christian again until next time!
Lordofnuts

Matthews, NC

#49 Feb 20, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>You have a Demon infestation. I will think about praying for you. Have you made a donation to church this week? Your answer can have a direct impact on my prayer.
You're getting a little to comfortable in this new role, after a few more pages of this you could pass as a real preacher! God knows you're smarter than most of the real ones anyway!

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#50 Feb 20, 2013
Lordofnuts wrote:
<quoted text> You're getting a little to comfortable in this new role, after a few more pages of this you could pass as a real preacher! God knows you're smarter than most of the real ones anyway!
Oh stop(((( blush)))

Since: Sep 08

Anderson, IN

#51 Feb 20, 2013
What?

Oh, no!!! You're kidding me!!! It can't be.

<puts down phone>

Oh, what to do? That was the town drunk who said he saw the alien, a really svelty looking lady who resembles the town bitch, at the diner waiting for 15th...and she's "packing" a lazer gun.

OH!!! WHERE is 15th? Where is Nettiebelle? Where is the remote to the TV?

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#52 Feb 20, 2013
Cookie_Parker wrote:
What?
Oh, no!!! You're kidding me!!! It can't be.
<puts down phone>
Oh, what to do? That was the town drunk who said he saw the alien, a really svelty looking lady who resembles the town bitch, at the diner waiting for 15th...and she's "packing" a lazer gun.
OH!!! WHERE is 15th? Where is Nettiebelle? Where is the remote to the TV?
Some guy named Allen is looking for Nettie? OMG just wait untill her husband finds out. I bet she won't sit for a week.

Since: Sep 08

Anderson, IN

#53 Feb 20, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>Some guy named Allen is looking for Nettie? OMG just wait untill her husband finds out. I bet she won't sit for a week.
OMG, you wing nut. I said Alien..not Allen. Can't you quote anything correctly?

<ponders>

No, I guess not.

“God Loves Ilks!”

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#54 Feb 20, 2013
Cookie_Parker wrote:
What?
Oh, no!!! You're kidding me!!! It can't be.
<puts down phone>
Oh, what to do? That was the town drunk who said he saw the alien, a really svelty looking lady who resembles the town bitch, at the diner waiting for 15th...and she's "packing" a lazer gun.
OH!!! WHERE is 15th? Where is Nettiebelle? Where is the remote to the TV?
Well, I just got a phone call, something about aliens and my husband, and I am getting my taser gun and the whole church to go down there to this diner and zap him and let the whole church then do, I dunno, something.
I can't believe this, though, this alien stuff.
I think still that it is HER.
And, no, I have not seem my husband for a long while now and I don't know where he is.
~sob~

“God Loves Ilks!”

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#55 Feb 20, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>Some guy named Allen is looking for Nettie? OMG just wait untill her husband finds out. I bet she won't sit for a week.
That was Allen who called me!
I didn't get most of what he said because we had a bad connection and it sounded like 'bulk wrap', but now, putting two and two together...AHA!
It was just misleading stuff all along.
I am going, instead, to a support group meeting made up of women whose husbands claimed this 'alien' thing and they don't know where their husbands are either!
This can't be happening to me, not now.
I broke a nail.

“God Loves Ilks!”

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#56 Feb 20, 2013
Cookie_Parker wrote:
<quoted text>
OMG, you wing nut. I said Alien..not Allen. Can't you quote anything correctly?
<ponders>
No, I guess not.
So, Allen is the alien!
Now, things make sense!
No, wait.
Who is my husband meeting at that diner then?
I am getting that support group over there ASAP!

Since: Sep 08

Anderson, IN

#57 Feb 20, 2013
Oh, no. The town preacher man figured out 15th's alibi. He'll kill me for that. It IS Allen..there is NO alien...and now nettiebelle is going to kill him, too.

Allen just needed a 4th for poker for about 3 weeks...nothing more.

“God Loves Ilks!”

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#58 Feb 20, 2013
Cookie_Parker wrote:
Oh, no. The town preacher man figured out 15th's alibi. He'll kill me for that. It IS Allen..there is NO alien...and now nettiebelle is going to kill him, too.
Allen just needed a 4th for poker for about 3 weeks...nothing more.
That preacherman is making that up!
I KNOW my husband would never GAMBLE.

Wait a minute.

Since: Sep 08

Anderson, IN

#59 Feb 20, 2013
Nettiebelle wrote:
<quoted text>That preacherman is making that up!
I KNOW my husband would never GAMBLE.
Wait a minute.
Preacherman is crazy and off his rocker...but my dear dear Nettiebelle. I'm afraid Allen is the one who has occupied your husbands time with gambling.

And I THINK I heard the town bitch was there, too...but I could be wrong...

“Shoot for the stars”

Since: Dec 10

Planet Earth

#60 Feb 20, 2013
Cookie_Parker wrote:
<quoted text>
Preacherman is crazy and off his rocker...but my dear dear Nettiebelle. I'm afraid Allen is the one who has occupied your husbands time with gambling.
And I THINK I heard the town bitch was there, too...but I could be wrong...
I'm waiting here at this diner for Nettie's husband. I got my laser gun in my garter holster just in case an alien shows up too.

"Oh waiter, a Martini with 2 olives puhleeze!" I wonder where that man is at?

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