Cardinals fail to elect pope after th...
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“Wear white at night.”

Since: Jun 09

Albuquerque

#21 Mar 13, 2013
Jammercolo wrote:
<quoted text>
ROFLMAO yet we are the fastest growing and atheist numbers grow from non atheist too.
We have a Pope, Papa Pancho Primero, from Buanas Aires, Argentina.

I went to the mission to repair one of the kneeler stands because it is only held together by a prayer and I don't want to launch Belinda into the stratosphere when the thing finally comes apart. I assumed it was two by six, which is actually two by five and a half but it was two by five so it didn't fit. Having a bit of time on my hands I stopped in the sanctuary to pray for a while.

There were all kinds of cars but not a soul in site so I figured Don Ricardo was working on something in the annex but as I was walking that way, I was invited into Padre's residence because everyone about ten faithful plus the two Padres was watching the live coverage. Trip on that. I was praying in the sanctuary when they elected the new Pope. When Papa Francisco blessed everybody we all knelt to receive that blessing.

Trip on this. My middle name is Francis and it is not at all uncommon in Spanish communities to go by your middle name so you can call me Francisco or Pancho. It makes no difference to me.

You can even call me 15th Dalai Pancho Lama if that tickles your fancy.

Oh yeah, there's always food. Today was beans, spanish rice, macaroni salad, chicken salad, tortillas and green chile salsa.

God bless everybody.

“Wear white at night.”

Since: Jun 09

Albuquerque

#22 Mar 13, 2013
He is Coming Soon wrote:
Vote in an Italian and get it over with, already!
I'm going to see if I can get the kneeler strut replaced before the Stations of the Cross, might even stop in to confession if I can catch Padre in a slow moment.

Later.

“Wear white at night.”

Since: Jun 09

Albuquerque

#23 Mar 13, 2013
15th Dalai Lama wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm going to see if I can get the kneeler strut replaced before the Stations of the Cross, might even stop in to confession if I can catch Padre in a slow moment.
Later.
OK, I did get that kneeler fixed and the trimmed piece fits perfectly. It's not even square but slopes a bit forward so it was a bit touch and go on the cutoff saw taking a half inch plus three degrees along the grain of an eight inch two by six.

I don't know why I chose a black tie for Mass this morning, I just did. It was no coincidence, however, that I wore a white tie to the stations and I did get to confession but not my regular confessor but our visiting Padre from India. Theoretically, Padre was hearing confession in Spanish and Visiting Padre was hearing confession in English. I was getting mixed signals and ended up confessing to visiting Padre. I'll tell you what, his Indian accent is so strong I probably would have done better with regular Padre.

I got three Hail Marys. Regular Padre would have told me something like visit Jesus Christ Incarnate in the sanctuary for an hour a day for the rest of my life.

God bless the Padres and Papa Francisco Primero de America Latino.
Thinking

Winsford, UK

#24 Mar 14, 2013
After everything that has happened, this pope should've been a woman.
15th Dalai Lama wrote:
<quoted text>
OK, I did get that kneeler fixed and the trimmed piece fits perfectly. It's not even square but slopes a bit forward so it was a bit touch and go on the cutoff saw taking a half inch plus three degrees along the grain of an eight inch two by six.
I don't know why I chose a black tie for Mass this morning, I just did. It was no coincidence, however, that I wore a white tie to the stations and I did get to confession but not my regular confessor but our visiting Padre from India. Theoretically, Padre was hearing confession in Spanish and Visiting Padre was hearing confession in English. I was getting mixed signals and ended up confessing to visiting Padre. I'll tell you what, his Indian accent is so strong I probably would have done better with regular Padre.
I got three Hail Marys. Regular Padre would have told me something like visit Jesus Christ Incarnate in the sanctuary for an hour a day for the rest of my life.
God bless the Padres and Papa Francisco Primero de America Latino.

“Wear white at night.”

Since: Jun 09

Albuquerque

#25 Mar 14, 2013
Thinking wrote:
After everything that has happened, this pope should've been a woman.
<quoted text>
If memory serves, there are only two requirements of the papacy.

1) The Pope must be Catholic.
2) The Pope must be male.

Not necessarily in that order.
Thinking

Winsford, UK

#26 Mar 14, 2013
3) It must suppress all talk of pope Joan (1099)
4) It must have a dodgy back story - in this case, collusion with the junta
5) It must sh!t in the woods
15th Dalai Lama wrote:
<quoted text>
If memory serves, there are only two requirements of the papacy.
1) The Pope must be Catholic.
2) The Pope must be male.
Not necessarily in that order.

“Wear white at night.”

Since: Jun 09

Albuquerque

#27 Mar 14, 2013
Thinking wrote:
3) It must suppress all talk of pope Joan (1099)
4) It must have a dodgy back story - in this case, collusion with the junta
5) It must sh!t in the woods
<quoted text>
I don't know much about (3) but (4) and (5) are kind of the same. Aren't they?

As previously reported, we have been ending Mass with prayers for Benedict XVI and an inspired decision from the College of Cardinals since Benedict announced his impending resignation. I fully expect we will end Mass this evening with a totally new prayer and it should be a real humdinger.

I'll keep you posted.
Thinking

Winsford, UK

#28 Mar 14, 2013
Do you think it was a mistake not to elect Jorge when he was eight years younger?
15th Dalai Lama wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't know much about (3) but (4) and (5) are kind of the same. Aren't they?
As previously reported, we have been ending Mass with prayers for Benedict XVI and an inspired decision from the College of Cardinals since Benedict announced his impending resignation. I fully expect we will end Mass this evening with a totally new prayer and it should be a real humdinger.
I'll keep you posted.

“Invisible Pink Unicorn”

Since: May 08

Location hidden

#29 Mar 14, 2013
NDanger wrote:
<quoted text>
ROFLMAO? Really Old Fart Left Mother At Outhouse?
AAAHH yes the republican retirement plan.

NDanger

“Third Eye”

Since: Nov 10

You can't get there from here.

#30 Mar 14, 2013
Jammercolo wrote:
<quoted text>
AAAHH yes the republican retirement plan.
Say what?

NDanger

“Third Eye”

Since: Nov 10

You can't get there from here.

#31 Mar 14, 2013
15th Dalai Lama wrote:
<quoted text>
If memory serves, there are only two requirements of the papacy.
1) The Pope must be Catholic.
2) The Pope must be male.
Not necessarily in that order.
The local radio station was advertising the Papal opening.

In a thick Italian accent, he states the Criteria:

Must know Roman Numerals
Must know Latin (not the pig latin typa)
Must tolerate white smoke
Be available on Sundays

It was pretty hilarious...

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