Nettie's Pit Stop

“God Loves Ilks!”

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#28098 Dec 1, 2012
Decreased Socialization
The person may only want to be with a very few or even just one person. This is a sign of preparation for release and affirms from whom the support is most needed in order to make the appropriate transition. If you are not part of this inner circle at the end, it does not mean you are not loved or are unimportant. It means you have already fulfilled your task with your loved one, and it is the time for you to say Good-bye. If you are part of the final inner circle of support, the person needs your affirmation, support, and permission.

Unusual Communication
The person may make a seemingly out of character or non sequitur statement, gesture, or request. This indicates that he or she is ready to say Good-bye and is testing you to see if you are ready to let him or her go. Accept the moment as a beautiful gift when it is offered. Kiss, hug, hold, cry, and say whatever you most need to say.

Giving Permission
Giving permission to your loved one to let go, without making him or her guilty for leaving or trying to keep him or her with you to meet your own needs, can be difficult. A dying person will normally try to hold on, even though it brings prolonged discomfort, in order to be sure those who are going to be left behind will be all right. Therefore, your ability to release the dying person from this concern and give him or her assurance that it is all right to let go whenever he or she is ready is one of the greatest gifts you have to give your loved one at this time.

Saying Good-bye
When the person is ready to die and you are able to let go, then is the time to say good-bye. Saying good-bye is your final gift of love to your loved one, for it achieves closure and makes the final release possible. It may be helpful to lay in bed and hold the person, or to take his or her hand and then say everything you need to say.

“God Loves Ilks!”

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#28099 Dec 1, 2012
It may be as simple as saying, I love you. It may include recounting favorite memories, places, and activities you shared. It may include saying, I ’m sorry for whatever I contributed to any tension or difficulties in our relationship. It may also include saying, Thank you for...

Tears are a normal and natural part of saying good-bye. Tears do not need to be hidden from your loved one or apologized for. Tears express your love and help you to let go.

How Will You Know When Death Has Occurred?
Although you may be prepared for the death process, you may not be prepared for the actual death moment. It may be helpful for you and your family to think about and discuss what you would do if you were the one present at the death moment. The death of a hospice patient is not an emergency. Nothing must be done immediately.

The signs of death include such things as no breathing, no heartbeat, release of bowel and bladder, no response, eyelids slightly open, pupils enlarged, eyes fixed on a certain spot, no blinking, jaw relaxed and mouth slightly open. A hospice nurse will come to assist you if needed or desired. If not, phone support is available.

The body does not have to be moved until you are ready. If the family wants to assist in preparing the body by bathing or dressing, that may be done. Call the funeral home when you are ready to have the body moved, and identify the person as a Hospice patient. The police do not need to be called. The Hospice nurse will notify the physician.

“God Loves Ilks!”

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#28100 Dec 1, 2012
http://www.hospicenet.org/html/preparing_for....

Good morning, all.
I found that article so very helpful since I have already witnessed some of these things with my mother, which is why she is in the hospital getting fluids through IV right now.
I plan to have her returned home (and hopefully have a hospital bed waiting for her) for the time she has left to be with us.
I really believe the fact that mother has been with me for a few years now has prepared me for this, sure do.
Lots of folks lose their lives due to disease or accident; my mother has had a long life and came into the world naturally and is leaving completely naturally.

In the ER, two women were hooking her up to monitors and had to turn her and mother, who had appeared to be unaware for some time, told one of them "Stop doing that! Don't do that any more!". Still some spunk left!
:)
My mother was with her own mother, holding her hand, when she passed away.
I plan to do the same for my mother too.
Prayers are answered, folks!
My mother will slip peacefully away soon, maybe a week, maybe a month, and we family know this.
My mother was there when I came into the world.
I will be there when she leaves it.

“Wear white at night.”

Since: Jun 09

Santa Fe, NM

#28101 Dec 1, 2012
Nettiebelle wrote:
http://www.hospicenet.org/html /preparing_for.html
Good morning, all.
I found that article so very helpful since I have already witnessed some of these things with my mother, which is why she is in the hospital getting fluids through IV right now.
I plan to have her returned home (and hopefully have a hospital bed waiting for her) for the time she has left to be with us.
I really believe the fact that mother has been with me for a few years now has prepared me for this, sure do.
Lots of folks lose their lives due to disease or accident; my mother has had a long life and came into the world naturally and is leaving completely naturally.
In the ER, two women were hooking her up to monitors and had to turn her and mother, who had appeared to be unaware for some time, told one of them "Stop doing that! Don't do that any more!". Still some spunk left!
:)
My mother was with her own mother, holding her hand, when she passed away.
I plan to do the same for my mother too.
Prayers are answered, folks!
My mother will slip peacefully away soon, maybe a week, maybe a month, and we family know this.
My mother was there when I came into the world.
I will be there when she leaves it.
Gee, Nettiebelle, I just spotted these comments but must read them later. It appears the best way to insure the Lord is worshipped round the clock from now 'till Christmans is to pray in shifts. I'm up in ten minutes. You and your mom and your family will be at the top of my prayers.

Lord love you, Nettiebelle.

“Wear white at night.”

Since: Jun 09

Santa Fe, NM

#28102 Dec 1, 2012
15th Dalai Lama wrote:
<quoted text>
Gee, Nettiebelle, I just spotted these comments but must read them later. It appears the best way to insure the Lord is worshipped round the clock from now 'till Christmans is to pray in shifts. I'm up in ten minutes. You and your mom and your family will be at the top of my prayers.
Lord love you, Nettiebelle.
Hi, Nettiebelle.

The nine o'clock shift didn't show up 'til past nine-thirty. That's a good thing. I know you're a real person in a real place dealing with the emotional and physical preparation for the passing of your mom. You are a pillar of strength of faith and reason in the forum and every bit as real in my heart.

I'll be making tamales again with a passel of women of great faith and I'm sure they will be happy to say a prayer for you and your mom.

God bless you.

“Howdy How”

Since: Jan 09

Hayward, CA

#28103 Dec 1, 2012
Good afternoon Nettie's Pit Stop! Keeping Nettie in our prayers.

Jazybird58

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#28104 Dec 1, 2012
wazzz up peoples.....Nettie love ya

“Wear white at night.”

Since: Jun 09

Santa Fe, NM

#28105 Dec 1, 2012
Jazybird58 wrote:
wazzz up peoples.....Nettie love ya
I'm off to church again to make eight hundred tamales and flirt with a room full of women that don't speak a word of English. I hope you enjoy your day as much as I will mine.

God bless you.

“Life Force One”

Since: Jul 07

The Spiritual Universe/God

#28107 Dec 1, 2012
Nettiebelle wrote:
http://www.hospicenet.org/html /preparing_for.html
Good morning, all.
I found that article so very helpful since I have already witnessed some of these things with my mother, which is why she is in the hospital getting fluids through IV right now.
I plan to have her returned home (and hopefully have a hospital bed waiting for her) for the time she has left to be with us.
I really believe the fact that mother has been with me for a few years now has prepared me for this, sure do.
Lots of folks lose their lives due to disease or accident; my mother has had a long life and came into the world naturally and is leaving completely naturally.
In the ER, two women were hooking her up to monitors and had to turn her and mother, who had appeared to be unaware for some time, told one of them "Stop doing that! Don't do that any more!". Still some spunk left!
:)
My mother was with her own mother, holding her hand, when she passed away.
I plan to do the same for my mother too.
Prayers are answered, folks!
My mother will slip peacefully away soon, maybe a week, maybe a month, and we family know this.
My mother was there when I came into the world.
I will be there when she leaves it.
I am deeply saddened to hear this Nettie. And I do hope there is as little suffering on her part as possible. I also hope that you can stay strong spiritually and mentally, for such matters are trying times and can take it's toll. Just hold on to knowing that her soul will always be, to "see" again someday, and her memories will always be with you.

My thoughts will be for you and your mother Nettie. Stay strong.

Cookie_Parker

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#28108 Dec 1, 2012
Nettiebelle wrote:
http://www.hospicenet.org/html /preparing_for.html
Good morning, all.
I found that article so very helpful since I have already witnessed some of these things with my mother, which is why she is in the hospital getting fluids through IV right now.
I plan to have her returned home (and hopefully have a hospital bed waiting for her) for the time she has left to be with us.
I really believe the fact that mother has been with me for a few years now has prepared me for this, sure do.
Lots of folks lose their lives due to disease or accident; my mother has had a long life and came into the world naturally and is leaving completely naturally.
In the ER, two women were hooking her up to monitors and had to turn her and mother, who had appeared to be unaware for some time, told one of them "Stop doing that! Don't do that any more!". Still some spunk left!
:)
My mother was with her own mother, holding her hand, when she passed away.
I plan to do the same for my mother too.
Prayers are answered, folks!
My mother will slip peacefully away soon, maybe a week, maybe a month, and we family know this.
My mother was there when I came into the world.
I will be there when she leaves it.
My prayers go with you. It really is a privilege to be with a person when they die. You are the one to help guide them to the otherside by letting them go. It's not easy....but it really is a privilege.

I pray for your strength and comfort, Nettiebelle.

“God Loves Ilks!”

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#28109 Dec 1, 2012
My sis and I spent a great deal of time at the hospital today.
We both talked with mother, who seemed to not hear us. She is at the Glasgow Coma stage now (hope I spelled that right), BUT, when I spoke in her ear and said we were waiting to talk with her dr. about her coming home, and did she want to come home, she made the sound 'uh-huh- twice.:) She wants to come home.
And, I just got a call from the nurse saying they are making arrangements for the ambulance service to bring her home.
:)
I really plan to take the advice within that Hospice article that I posted with mother.
And, she is in absolutely no pain at all.
:)

Jazybird58

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#28110 Dec 1, 2012
15th Dalai Lama wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm off to church again to make eight hundred tamales and flirt with a room full of women that don't speak a word of English. I hope you enjoy your day as much as I will mine.
God bless you.
dO ENJOY the season, err night. Pick up a pocket translator.

Jazybird58

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#28111 Dec 1, 2012
Nettiebelle wrote:
My sis and I spent a great deal of time at the hospital today.
We both talked with mother, who seemed to not hear us. She is at the Glasgow Coma stage now (hope I spelled that right), BUT, when I spoke in her ear and said we were waiting to talk with her dr. about her coming home, and did she want to come home, she made the sound 'uh-huh- twice.:) She wants to come home.
And, I just got a call from the nurse saying they are making arrangements for the ambulance service to bring her home.
:)
I really plan to take the advice within that Hospice article that I posted with mother.
And, she is in absolutely no pain at all.
:)
Love the mom, Nettie. Just remember its ok for her to go.

Since: Oct 07

Wigan, UK

#28112 Dec 1, 2012
Nettiebelle wrote:
My sis and I spent a great deal of time at the hospital today.
We both talked with mother, who seemed to not hear us. She is at the Glasgow Coma stage now (hope I spelled that right), BUT, when I spoke in her ear and said we were waiting to talk with her dr. about her coming home, and did she want to come home, she made the sound 'uh-huh- twice.:) She wants to come home.
And, I just got a call from the nurse saying they are making arrangements for the ambulance service to bring her home.
:)
I really plan to take the advice within that Hospice article that I posted with mother.
And, she is in absolutely no pain at all.
:)
Awww Nettie I am sorry to hear all this but glad you have shared it with us .You have shared your Mother with us in all the years I have been here and though I dont know her I have gotten to love her through all the things youve posted and I am deeply saddened for you all .I cant be with you to hold your hand in body but please know I am not the only one here who will be holding your hand in spirit .God bless you all . Big snotty teared cyber-hugs sent your way Nettie

“Wear white at night.”

Since: Jun 09

Santa Fe, NM

#28113 Dec 1, 2012
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>dO ENJOY the season, err night. Pick up a pocket translator.
Dude, we're talking flirting with a room full of women. We don't need no stinking translator.

Anyway, I think we knocked out a thousand tamales.

Since: Apr 07

Location hidden

#28114 Dec 1, 2012
My husband and I have met Nettie's Mom and she truly is a treasure. I think all of us, on Topix, know that Nettie has taken the very best care of her and will continue to do so, until she passes.
I'm sure that most of our thoughts and prayers go out to her and her Mom. I love you, Nettie!

“Shoot for the stars”

Since: Dec 10

Planet Earth

#28115 Dec 1, 2012
Nettiebelle wrote:
http://www.hospicenet.org/html /preparing_for.html
Good morning, all.
I found that article so very helpful since I have already witnessed some of these things with my mother, which is why she is in the hospital getting fluids through IV right now.
I plan to have her returned home (and hopefully have a hospital bed waiting for her) for the time she has left to be with us.
I really believe the fact that mother has been with me for a few years now has prepared me for this, sure do.
Lots of folks lose their lives due to disease or accident; my mother has had a long life and came into the world naturally and is leaving completely naturally.
In the ER, two women were hooking her up to monitors and had to turn her and mother, who had appeared to be unaware for some time, told one of them "Stop doing that! Don't do that any more!". Still some spunk left!
:)
My mother was with her own mother, holding her hand, when she passed away.
I plan to do the same for my mother too.
Prayers are answered, folks!
My mother will slip peacefully away soon, maybe a week, maybe a month, and we family know this.
My mother was there when I came into the world.
I will be there when she leaves it.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom. You're a good and loving daughter, Nettie.

Since: Oct 07

Wigan, UK

#28116 Dec 2, 2012
tickedoffchic wrote:
My husband and I have met Nettie's Mom and she truly is a treasure. I think all of us, on Topix, know that Nettie has taken the very best care of her and will continue to do so, until she passes.
I'm sure that most of our thoughts and prayers go out to her and her Mom. I love you, Nettie!
Amen

Since: Aug 08

Somewhere in Ireland

#28117 Dec 2, 2012
Nettiebelle wrote:
My sis and I spent a great deal of time at the hospital today.
We both talked with mother, who seemed to not hear us. She is at the Glasgow Coma stage now (hope I spelled that right), BUT, when I spoke in her ear and said we were waiting to talk with her dr. about her coming home, and did she want to come home, she made the sound 'uh-huh- twice.:) She wants to come home.
And, I just got a call from the nurse saying they are making arrangements for the ambulance service to bring her home.
:)
I really plan to take the advice within that Hospice article that I posted with mother.
And, she is in absolutely no pain at all.
:)
Sorry to hear about your mother Nettie, but it is good to know that she is in no pain and coming home to a place where she is most happy and where she will receive the loving care a mother deserves. You know I don't pray, but my thoughts are with your mother, you and your family at this difficult time.

Cookie_Parker

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#28118 Dec 2, 2012
Nettiebelle wrote:
My sis and I spent a great deal of time at the hospital today.
We both talked with mother, who seemed to not hear us. She is at the Glasgow Coma stage now (hope I spelled that right), BUT, when I spoke in her ear and said we were waiting to talk with her dr. about her coming home, and did she want to come home, she made the sound 'uh-huh- twice.:) She wants to come home.
And, I just got a call from the nurse saying they are making arrangements for the ambulance service to bring her home.
:)
I really plan to take the advice within that Hospice article that I posted with mother.
And, she is in absolutely no pain at all.
:)
What a hard thing to do for you. It cannot be easy posting it all here....but you know you have friends here and people who have grown to respect you, as well.

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