False gods
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Jazybird58

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#1 Feb 12, 2013
I was told by Romans my god was false, why is my god false and the christian god not? If I believe in the great and wonderful FSM, then why is he a false god?? Embrace the Noodle, Ramen

In the name of the FSM, Meatball and Garlic Toast.

“Jesus=only way into Heaven”

Since: Nov 12

saved by grace through faith

#2 Feb 12, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
I was told by Romans my god was false, why is my god false and the christian god not? If I believe in the great and wonderful FSM, then why is he a false god?? Embrace the Noodle, Ramen
In the name of the FSM, Meatball and Garlic Toast.
Your god is real, he is a condemned fallen angel named Satan. He is doing his best to deceive and fool as many people as possible into following him to their eternal Damnation in Hell.

You say,'but I don't believe in Satan or Hell'.........that doesn't matter. I could cover my eyes with my hands and say,'I don't see anything'.........but everything is still there. Unbelief in Hell won't keep you from it.

But what will keep you from Hell? The answer is simple....Christ Jesus. Jesus left all the glory of Heaven, was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, offered up that sinless life to make atonement for sin, died on the cross, rose from the dead, showed His resurrected body to the apostles and over 500 personal eye-witnesses, ascended to the Father, and currently resides at the right hand of the Father.
----------
What the bible say about salvation?

Romans 10:9-10
9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
----------

Are you 100% sure that you will go to Heaven? If not, then check out this link:

http://www.swordofthelord.com/salvation.php

Jazybird58

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#3 Feb 12, 2013
Romans Road wrote:
<quoted text>
Your god is real, he is a condemned fallen angel named Satan. He is doing his best to deceive and fool as many people as possible into following him to their eternal Damnation in Hell.
You say,'but I don't believe in Satan or Hell'.........that doesn't matter. I could cover my eyes with my hands and say,'I don't see anything'.........but everything is still there. Unbelief in Hell won't keep you from it.
But what will keep you from Hell? The answer is simple....Christ Jesus. Jesus left all the glory of Heaven, was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, offered up that sinless life to make atonement for sin, died on the cross, rose from the dead, showed His resurrected body to the apostles and over 500 personal eye-witnesses, ascended to the Father, and currently resides at the right hand of the Father.
----------
What the bible say about salvation?
Romans 10:9-10
9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
----------
Are you 100% sure that you will go to Heaven? If not, then check out this link:
http://www.swordofthelord.com/salvation.php
why is my god false and the christian god not?
According to the FSM handbook, it says that my god is the one and only true god. Could you be mistaken?

“ ILKS r kewl ”

Since: Apr 09

Conch republic

#4 Feb 12, 2013
Romans Road wrote:
<quoted text>
Your god is real, he is a condemned fallen angel named Satan.
LMAO.. what a crock of bull manure!

2 Corinthians Chapter 11

13 For such [are] false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.

14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.

15 Therefore [it is] no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.

Sounds a lot like you!

“Jesus=only way into Heaven”

Since: Nov 12

saved by grace through faith

#5 Feb 12, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>why is my god false and the christian god not?
According to the FSM handbook, it says that my god is the one and only true god. Could you be mistaken?
What is the FSM handbook?

“Jesus=only way into Heaven”

Since: Nov 12

saved by grace through faith

#6 Feb 12, 2013
Troth for Leogere wrote:
<quoted text>LMAO.. what a crock of bull manure!

2 Corinthians Chapter 11
13 For such [are] false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.

14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.

15 Therefore [it is] no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.

Sounds a lot like you!
Please explain why?

“Darwin died for your sins”

Since: Aug 08

Nunya

#7 Feb 12, 2013
Romans Road wrote:
<quoted text>
What is the FSM handbook?
The truth, the light and the way for pastafarians.

John from Texas

“It's all in your head”

Since: Dec 12

United States

#8 Feb 12, 2013
False Gods??

The one inside my head seems pretty real.
Romans and Wayne would say it is Satan, but I don't know a Satan.
God manifests Himself in many ways. These folks cannot get their deluded brains around that.

Where is that lake of fire anyway?

“ ILKS r kewl ”

Since: Apr 09

Conch republic

#9 Feb 12, 2013
John from Texas wrote:
False Gods??
The one inside my head seems pretty real.
Romans and Wayne would say it is Satan, but I don't know a Satan.
God manifests Himself in many ways. These folks cannot get their deluded brains around that.
Where is that lake of fire anyway?
In wayne's front yard.

Since: Nov 10

Location hidden

#10 Feb 12, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
I was told by Romans my god was false, why is my god false and the christian god not? If I believe in the great and wonderful FSM, then why is he a false god?? Embrace the Noodle, Ramen
In the name of the FSM, Meatball and Garlic Toast.
hmmm, If you wonder why you were never successful irl, just read your post. Its as simple as that Jay. You sound like a kid with ADHD!

LMAO!!!

Jazybird58

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#11 Feb 12, 2013
Romans Road wrote:
<quoted text>
What is the FSM handbook?
Well its kinda like the bible. You know Basic Instructions before what ever.
Here it is.

1.

8 id realy rather you didnts

In an effort to educate and to promote understanding of our faith, I will recount the story of The Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts, the sacred commandments that were given to Mosey the Pirate by the Flying Spaghetti Monster Himself. This is the story that has been handed down for hundreds of years by generations of the Pastafarian faithful:
While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he cannot find a Pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten I'd Really Rather You didn'ts, two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards." The Flying Spaghetti Monsters commandments address worship of Him, the treatment of people of other faiths, sexual conduct, and nutrition.

THE EIGHT I'D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN'TS

1.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.
2.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia.
4.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build multi million-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.
7.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
8.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

Jazybird58

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#12 Feb 12, 2013
Continued.( damn hard drive space)

Christian: I love God and I follow the Bible to the letter... Oh yeah thats right all 10 commandments baby.

Pastafarian: Ummm well I'm not Christian, but I have about 8 id realy rather you didnts that I like to stick with. Though they are less intrusive and less asinine and aren't just meant for adults with the reasoning skills that of kids in preschool, it gets the idea across.

Christian: Well all those strippers and beers are going to send you straight to hell

Pastafarian: Hey now, I'd really rather you didn't say that.

Since: Apr 07

Location hidden

#13 Feb 12, 2013
Romans Road is an abomination as are the rest of the fundies on this forum.

Jazybird58

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#14 Feb 12, 2013
Huntington Guy wrote:
<quoted text>hmmm, If you wonder why you were never successful irl, just read your post. Its as simple as that Jay. You sound like a kid with ADHD!
LMAO!!!
Really Huntington Guy, I am trying to have a civil conversation here, I don't need your grade school asinine comments. If you can not join in the debate with out that crap just stay out OK? Great FSM, please help me, I can not fix stoopid, You know that I have tried but damn it its busted.

Bless the great FSM, Meatball and Garlic bread.

Jazybird58

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#15 Feb 12, 2013
tickedoffchic wrote:
Romans Road is an abomination as are the rest of the fundies on this forum.
Hi TOC, why is my god a false god? I believe n him, dang he has shown me the way to Beer volcanoes and Stripper poles, what more can a humble man ask fore?

Jazybird58

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#16 Feb 12, 2013
John from Texas wrote:
False Gods??
The one inside my head seems pretty real.
Romans and Wayne would say it is Satan, but I don't know a Satan.
God manifests Himself in many ways. These folks cannot get their deluded brains around that.
Where is that lake of fire anyway?
Why cant others accept the great FSM as god?

Since: Apr 07

Location hidden

#17 Feb 12, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>Hi TOC, why is my god a false god? I believe n him, dang he has shown me the way to Beer volcanoes and Stripper poles, what more can a humble man ask fore?
Fundies are an abomination. They're the ignorant outcasts of Christianity.

John from Texas

“It's all in your head”

Since: Dec 12

Buda, TX

#18 Feb 12, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>Why cant others accept the great FSM as god?
It's an enigma.

Jazybird58

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#19 Feb 12, 2013
Huntington Guy wrote:
<quoted text>hmmm, If you wonder why you were never successful irl, just read your post. Its as simple as that Jay. You sound like a kid with ADHD!
LMAO!!!
Why are you so upset? I am trying to share the word of my lord the great FSM. Hey its a public forum, why cant I spread the word of his exalted noodlness? Why do you feel the need to stylefile my religion? America was founded upon religious beliefs. Do you hate America? Do you also hate Meatball the son of my lord and savior? That's just wrong, hey I don't hate yours( albeit He is a zombie), who am I to stop you from worshiping a dead guy. So what I am asking is this, why are your picking on me?

Jazybird58

“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#20 Feb 12, 2013
tickedoffchic wrote:
<quoted text>
Fundies are an abomination. They're the ignorant outcasts of Christianity.
How sad is that? I thought we are to love each other. I love you ( I mean that with out any sexual connotations)

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