I think you're mixing a little reason and compassion in with dogma, which is a good thing.No, of course not. I know they're gonna have sex. I know it's a sin, they know it's a sin. I just want them to be absolutely certain about the woman before they get married. I think I might be mixing a little secularism with Christianity. I have no doubt I'll be answerable for it when my judgement comes.
The doctrine of sin - the arbitrary pronouncement and faith based acceptance of an activity as being in conflict with a perfect god and its objectively true moral values - is really a terrible thing. It's got you doing ethical calisthenics in an effort to be a loving father to your sons.