CunningLinguist

Lady Lake, FL

#126 Apr 23, 2013
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

The second commandment tells us that Yahweh is a jealous God, punishing not just those who make graven images, but also their innocent children and children's children, down to the fourth generation.

Imagine the universal denunciation that would accompany the enactment of such policies in the modern world, say a policy that punishes the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren of thiefs, for example.

The whole premise that innocent people should be deliberately punished for the actions of their ancestors is both absurd and morally indefensible.

Especially interesting is the fact that almost no Christian in the entire world obeys or even attempts to obey the first sentence, which states clearly that making images and likenesses of anything in heaven or earth is forbidden.

C.S. Lewis and G.K. Chesterton, wherefore art thou whenst I needeth thee for explanation?
CunningLinguist

Lady Lake, FL

#127 Apr 23, 2013
Attention Christians!!!!

Your God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions. Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.

1. How did you find out about your Deity?
___ Newspaper
___ Bible
___ Torah
___ Book of Mormon
___ Koran
___ Divine inspiration
___ Dead Sea Scrolls
___ My mama done tol' me
___ Near-death experience
___ Near-life experience
___ National Public Radio
___ Tabloid
___ Burning shrubbery
___ Other (specify):________

2. Which model Deity did you acquire?
___ Yahweh
___ Father, Son & Holy Ghost [Trinity Pak]
___ Jehovah
___ Jesus
___ Krishna
___ Zeus and entourage [Olympus Pak]
___ Odin and entourage [Valhalla Pak]
___ Allah
___ Satan
___ Gaia/Mother Earth/Mother Nature
___ God 1.0a (hairy thunderer)
___ God 1.0b (cosmic muffin)
___ None of the above; I was taken in by a false god

3. Did your God come to you undamaged, with all parts in good working order
and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes?
___ Yes
___ No

If no, please describe the problems you initially encountered here. Please
indicate all that apply:
___ Not eternal
___ Finite in space/Does not occupy or inhabit the entire cosmos
___ Not omniscient
___ Not omnipotent
___ Not infinitely plastic (incapable of being all things to all creations)
___ Permits sex outside of marriage
___ Prohibits sex outside of marriage
___ Makes mistakes (Geraldo Rivera, Jesse Helms)
___ Makes or permits bad things to happen to good people
___ When beseeched, doesn't stay beseeched
___ Requires burnt offerings
___ Requires virgin sacrifices
___ Plays dice with the universe

4. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a Deity? Please
check all that apply.
___ Indoctrinated by parents
___ Needed a reason to live
___ Indoctrinated by society
___ Needed focus in whom to despise
___ Imaginary friend grew up
___ Wanted to know Jesus in the Biblical sense
___ Graduated from the tooth fairy
___ Hate to think for myself
___ Wanted to meet girls/boys
___ Fear of death
___ Wanted to piss off parents
___ Needed a day away from work
___ Desperate need for certainty
___ Like organ music
___ Need to feel morally superior
___ Thought Jerry Falwell was cool
___ My shrubbery caught fire and told me to do it

5. Have you ever worshipped a Deity before? If so, which false god were you
fooled by? Please check all that apply.
___ Mick Jagger
___ Rajanish
___ Baal
___ The almighty dollar
___ Bill Gates
___ Left-wing liberalism
___ The radical right
___ Ra
___ Beelzebub
___ The Great Spirit
___ The Great Pumpkin
___ The sun
___ Elvis
___ The moon
___ TV news
___ Burning shrubbery
___ Other:_________

6. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God?
Please check all that apply.
__ Tarot __ Lottery __ Astrology
__ Television __ Fortune cookies __ Crystals (not including Crystal Gayle)
__ Psychic Friends Network __ Dianetics __ Palmistry
__ Biorhythms __ Alcohol
__ Tea leaves __ ESP
__ Mantras __ Jimmy Swaggert
__ Human sacrifice __ Pyramids
__ Burning shrubbery Other:_________
__

If you are able to complete the questionnaire and return it to one of our conveniently located drop-off boxes by October 31 you will be entered in
the One Free Miracle of Your Choice drawing (chances of winning are approximately one in 6.023 x 10 to the 23d power, depending on number of
beings entered).
CunningLinguist

Lady Lake, FL

#128 Apr 23, 2013
A serious reader cannot truthfully deny that multitudes of curious occurrences are readily observable in the Bible.

To a Christian believer, these strange events are nothing more than the mysterious ways of God.

To a freethinker, the alleged phenomena are an indicative subset of the widespread superstitious beliefs held by our ancestors.

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of ridiculous statements made by the authors of the Bible. Whether you enjoy reading about plumb lines or talking donkeys, the Christian religion carries more than its fair share of absurdities.

In fact, some of the biblical reports are illogical enough to disqualify explanations through the supernatural.

For Instance...

Moses and Aaron are apparently well known throughout the region for the magic tricks that God teaches them. God demonstrates to Moses how to cast his rod to the ground in order to make it become a serpent. The transformation frightens him, but the serpent becomes a rod again when he grabs it by the tail. God also shows Moses how to make his hand become leprous. He can reverse the spell by touching the leprous hand to his body (Exodus 4:2-7).

When the hour arrives for Moses and Aaron to impress the Egyptian Pharaoh, they perform the rod trick. However, the Pharaoh’s magicians are able to follow suit by transforming their rods into serpents. Aaron’s serpent rod then eats all the other serpent rods (Exodus 7:10-12).

In a second attempt to outperform the Pharaoh’s magicians, Moses and Aaron transform an entire river into blood by touching it with their rods. Again, the Pharaoh’s magicians are able to replicate the feat.

Moses and Aaron, refusing to give up, induce an aggregation of frogs to emerge from the waters and occupy the land. Yet again, the Pharaoh’s magicians demonstrate the same gimmick.

In a fourth attempt to demonstrate God’s overwhelming power over Egypt, Moses and Aaron are able to create lice out of dust.

Since the creation of life ex nihilo proves too difficult for the magicians, they concede that Moses and Aaron have the true power of God.

As an encore, the victorious couple produces plagues of flies, cattle death, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, and the eventual killing of all the firstborn male children previously mentioned in The Darker Side Of God (Exodus 7-11).

Even after the unprecedented accomplishments in Egypt, Moses still has a few tricks remaining up his sleeve.

He’s able to satisfy the water requirements of millions by tapping a rock with his rod (Exodus 17:6).

Moses also accomplished the construction of a serpent statue capable of preventing people from dying of snakebite, provided the victims were looking at it while bitten (Numbers 21:6-7). He even supports Joshua’s army in its war against Amalek by simply keeping his hand aloft.

Whenever Moses raises his arm, Joshua gets the better of Amalek in the battle; whenever his hand falls from fatigue, the fates reverse.

Eventually, Moses begins to rest his arm by propping it on a rock. This ingenious tactic enables Joshua to defeat Amalek (Exodus 17:11-13).

Remember, those verse references that you see after each statement mean you can find all this nonsense in the Bible.

The Bible would not lie would it????????
CunningLinguist

Lady Lake, FL

#129 Apr 23, 2013
PARTING SHOT

Horus/Osiris of Egypt

In the Egyptian myth, Horus and his once-and-future Father, Osiris, are frequently interchangeable, as in “I and my Father are one.” Concerning Osiris, Walker says:

Of all savior-gods worshiped at the beginning of the Christian era, Osiris may have contributed
more details to the evolving Christ figure than any other. Already very old in Egypt, Osiris identified with nearly every other Egyptian god and was on the way to absorbing them all.

He had well over 200 divine names!

Osiris’s “son” or renewed incarnation, Horus, shares the following in common with Jesus:

--Horus was born of the virgin Isis-Merion December 25 in a cave/manger with his birth being announced by a star in the East and attended by three wise men.
--His earthly father was named “Seb”(“Joseph”).
--He was of royal descent.
--At at 12, he was a child teacher in the Temple, and at 30, he was baptized having disappeared for 18 years.
--Horus was baptized in the river Eridanus or Iarutana (Jordan) by “Anup the Baptizer”(“John the Baptist”), who was decapitated.
--He had 12 desciples, two of who were his “witnesses” and were named “Anup” and “Aan”(the two “Johns”).
--He performed miracles, exorcised demons and raised El-Azarus (“El-Osiris”), from the dead.
--Horus walked on water.
--His personal epithet was “Iusa,” the “ever-becoming son” of “Ptah,” the “Father.” He was thus called “Holy Child.”
--He delivered a “Sermon on the Mount” and his followers recounted the “Sayings of Iusa.”
--Horus was transfigured on the Mount.
--He was crucified between two thieves, buried for three days in a tomb, and resurrected.
--He was also the “Way, the Truth, the Light,”“Messiah,”“God’s Anointed Son,”“the “Son of Man,” the “Good Shepherd,” the “Lamb of God,” the “Word made flesh,” the “Word of Truth,” etc.
--He was “the Fisher” and was associated with the Fish (“Ichthys”), Lamb and Lion.
--He came to fulfill the Law.
--Horus was called “the KRST,” or “Anointed One.”

--Like Jesus,“Horus was supposed to reign one thousand years.”

Furthermore, inscribed about 3,500 years ago, 1500 years before Jesus’ alleged advent, on the walls of the Temple at Luxor were images of the Annunciation, Immaculate Conception, Birth and Adoration of Horus, with Thoth announcing to the Virgin Isis that she will conceive Horus; with Kneph the “Holy Ghost,” impregnating the virgin; and with the infant being attended bh three kings, or magi, bearing gifts.

In addition, in the catacombs at Rome are pictures of the baby Horus being held by the virgin mother Isis—the original “Madonna and Child.”
CunningLinguist

Lady Lake, FL

#130 Apr 23, 2013
There are five things that you cannot recover in life:

(1) The Stone..........after it's thrown,
(2) The Word..........after it's said,
(3) The Occasion......after it's missed,
(4) The Time..........after it's gone.
(5) A person..........after they die

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#131 Apr 23, 2013
Reason Personified wrote:
<quoted text>I suspect that an actual human being found a way to sneak into that school cafeteria.
Perhaps.

Or it could have been that one of the institutionalized cooks was new-- and had not realized that adding actual spices to the food was strictly rationed.

:)

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#132 Apr 23, 2013
Andre wrote:
<quoted text>If I am mistaken, you must correct me with fact. Care to look at Dead Sea scrolls, Ebla finds, Archaeological finds that confirm Biblical record.
I have. They don't. NEXT!

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#133 Apr 23, 2013
Andre wrote:
<quoted text>You make the assumption that I am Arminian? Nope! Consider what the Bible tells us about sin - not one without sin (Read the Ten Commandments and you will realise this.
Take even your own "standards" of right and wrong (such as lying, it seems). Have you ever lied? If you are honest, you will agree that you have, and on more than one occasion. So you are "guilty".
I did not bother with the rest of your word-salad. Sorry. Too busy.

But I will point out the following.

The >>only<< thing I recognize as authority over me, is the US Constitution.

That's it.

The Constitution does not forbid casual lying in conversion.

It only forbids it under specific circumstances, and on specific forms and such.

Apart from that? The US Constitution is silent on lying.

A good thing, too-- as 100% of the Politicians in Washington have lied at least once.

So no, I don't consider lying a sin--unless lying would cause harm to another person.

That's the bottom line: to sin, is to deliberate harm to another.

Of course, you'll need to specify what constitutes harm...

So no-- I have never sinned. Not by ANY authority that I recognize.

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#134 Apr 23, 2013
-Skeptic- wrote:
<quoted text>
We're not sure why you lie about god. Maybe its because you don't have any morals?
Without a doubt, he has no morals.

No one with morals would deliberately cause as much harm as he has obviously done.

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#135 Apr 23, 2013
Such an elegant and clear summary deserves repetition.

So I did.
spudgun wrote:
The Dead Sea Scrolls have been radiocarbon dated to the last two centuries BCE and the first century CE. Scholars think the OT was written when the Jews returned from the babylonian captivity. In other words what you have are hundredth hand accounts which are highly dubious in origin. They report legendary characters of the distant past and can be considered little more than camp fire tales and fiction.

"The Bible's language is not an historical language. It is a language of high literature, of story, of sermon and of song. It is a tool of philosophy and moral instruction."

The first 11 chapters of Genesis are complete fiction, the rest of the Bible can also be considered non historical, it is essentially a collection of literature.

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#136 Apr 23, 2013
Andre wrote:
I suggest you then never do something that only benefits others at your own expense. I do not think I would really like to be a friend.
I already >>know<< I do not wish to be associated with you in any way.

You are supremely dishonest-- and as such, apt to do... anything.

That is not good.

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#137 Apr 23, 2013
CunningLinguist wrote:
There are five things that you cannot recover in life:
(1) The Stone..........after it's thrown,
(2) The Word..........after it's said,
(3) The Occasion......after it's missed,
(4) The Time..........after it's gone.
(5) A person..........after they die
(6) A Life.... after it's wasted.
CunningLinguist

Lady Lake, FL

#140 Apr 23, 2013
Bob of Quantum-Faith wrote:
<quoted text>
(6) A Life.... after it's wasted.
#6 APPLIES TO BELIVERS IN THE SUPERNATURAL for the most part!

Mother Teresa as the 'prime' example.

How have you been?
I've been away for a while. Anything new?
CunningLinguist

Lady Lake, FL

#141 Apr 23, 2013
TrumpetCallofGodOnline wrote:
The Text in My previous comment can be found Here: http://trumpetcallofgodonline.com/index.php5...
Along with Many MORE letters From God and His Christ, for all those who have ears to hear
http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/

NO SALE! Boring Story, H G Wells wrote better fiction

And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?.--Numbers 22:28-29

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#142 Apr 23, 2013
TrumpetCallofGodOnline wrote:
[The Lord answered] To My son James....
The Voice of Truth.
SPAM reported.

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#143 Apr 23, 2013
TrumpetCallofGodOnline wrote:
The Text in My previous comment can be found Here: http://trumpetcallofgodonline.com/index.php5...
Along with Many MORE letters From God and His Christ, for all those who have ears to hear
SPAM reported.

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#144 Apr 23, 2013
CunningLinguist wrote:
<quoted text>
#6 APPLIES TO BELIVERS IN THE SUPERNATURAL for the most part!
Mother Teresa as the 'prime' example.
How have you been?
I've been away for a while. Anything new?
Indeed it does-- is why I posted it. I knew people who's brains were still fully functional, would spot that immediately.

:)

Doing great-- my van's got a flat tire, and I'm waiting on a friend to come pick up the tire & have the valve stem replaced. A bother-- and it's raining, more bother.

Other than that? It's been... >>great<<...(no sarcasm intended)l.

I am currently enjoying a nice mug of iced tea-- Constant Comment flavor, one of the best in the world.

:)
CunningLinguist

Lady Lake, FL

#145 Apr 23, 2013
Bob of Quantum-Faith wrote:
<quoted text>
Indeed it does-- is why I posted it. I knew people who's brains were still fully functional, would spot that immediately.
:)
Doing great-- my van's got a flat tire, and I'm waiting on a friend to come pick up the tire & have the valve stem replaced. A bother-- and it's raining, more bother.
Other than that? It's been... >>great<<...(no sarcasm intended)l.
I am currently enjoying a nice mug of iced tea-- Constant Comment flavor, one of the best in the world.
:)
tea?
Hmm I'm beginning to worry about you...

I THINK THAT I SHALL NEVER HEAR
A POEM AS LOVELY AS BEER
THE BREW JOE'S BAR HAS ON TAP
wWTH A GOLDEN BASE AND SNOWY CAP
THE MELLOW STUFF I DRINK ALL DAY
UNTIL MY MEMORY MELTS AWAY
POEMS ARE WRITTEN BY FOLLS I FEAR
BUT ONLY (FILL IN FAVORITE BREWSKI) CAN MAKE A BEER

“Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.”
&#8213; W.C. Fields

“There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.”
&#8213; W.C. Fields
CunningLinguist

Lady Lake, FL

#146 Apr 23, 2013
Bob of Quantum-Faith wrote:
<quoted text>
Indeed it does-- is why I posted it. I knew people who's brains were still fully functional, would spot that immediately.
:)
Doing great-- my van's got a flat tire, and I'm waiting on a friend to come pick up the tire & have the valve stem replaced. A bother-- and it's raining, more bother.
Other than that? It's been... >>great<<...(no sarcasm intended)l.
I am currently enjoying a nice mug of iced tea-- Constant Comment flavor, one of the best in the world.
:)
dON'T START WITH MY SORRY SPELLING... I FAT FINGER EVERYTHING THESE DAZE!:-(

Like leaving stupid caps lock on

I think Satan has possessed my keyboard - what incantation can I use?

BTW - I've already asked ZEUS
He said "Piss Off"

He apologised later, said some concubines kept him up all night and Mercury was late with the new stash.
Thinking

Reading, UK

#147 Apr 23, 2013
My summary, for what it is worth, is:

Altruism develops because we are a collaborative species. The most successful strategy appears to be trusting to begin with, quick to respond to a negative outcome, but not to bear a grudge for too long.
Andre wrote:
<quoted text>Thank you for the link. As time is a bit of a problem for me, can you just briefly summarize for me? Thanks

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