Rick Perry Totally Going To Fight Satan Now

Sep 19, 2012 Full story: Wonkette 6

Demented pill addict and mannequin afficionado Rick Perry, who is still Governor of the State of Texas for reasons that modern science cannot explain, would still like to be Commander in Chief of something, even if it's not the United States.

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“Reason's Greetings!”

Since: Feb 11

Pale Blue Dot

#1 Sep 19, 2012
What costume should this superhero wear?

“Citizen_Patriot_ Voter_Atheist!”

Since: May 09


#2 Sep 19, 2012
Rick Perry: "He's a dumb person's idea, of a smart person".


Demented pill addict and mannequin afficionado Rick Perry, who is still Governor of the State of Texas for reasons that modern science cannot explain, would still like to be Commander in Chief of something, even if it’s not the United States. In a teleconference with wingnut pastor Rick Scarborough, Perry called on “Christian warriors” to engage in “spiritual warfare” against that most Satanic of foes, the Constitution of the United States. Of course, Perry claims to like the Constitution a whole bunch; he thinks the real enemy is a “growing tide of secularism and atheism” that has spread the false notion that the establishment clause of that document somehow mandates “separation of church and state.” Clear enough?
Gov. Perry spoke to Pastor Scarborough to promote “40 Days to Save America,” a campaign of prayer and fasting which, while timed to coincide with this fall’s election, is very definitely not political, because then it would not be tax-exempt. Scarborough, one of the participants in Perry’s 2011 Jesuspalooza rally and the author of a book titled Liberalism Kills Kids, also hopes to save America with upcoming telechats with other non-political spiritual figures such as Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum, who, like Perry, are elected Christianists who warn that Christianity has been wholly excluded from American political life.

In a rambling word salad of Dominionist talking points, Perry insisted that the separation of church and state is a myth “driven by the secularists to remove those people of faith from the public arena.” In fact, he said, the Constitution is based upon “Judeo-Christian values”(a term coined in the 1820s, but never mind), and the notion of separation of church and state only arose in the 1960s, which is apparently when Thomas Jefferson lived. Perry also warned that an invisible demon is literally to blame for this state of affairs:

We have a biblical responsibility to be involved in the public arena proclaiming God’s truth. The idea that we should be sent to the sidelines I would suggest to you is very driven by those who are not truthful, Satan runs across the world with his doubt and with his untruths and what have you and one of the untruths out there is driven—is that people of faith should not be involved in the public arena.

Perry went on to explain the necessity of engaging in “spiritual warfare” to save America:

"you think about this spiritual warfare that’s going on and [inaudible] going strong as President Obama and his cronies in Washington continue their efforts to remove any trace of religion from American life. It falls on us, we truly are Christian warriors, Christian soldiers, and for us as Americans to stand our ground and to firmly send a message to Washington that our nation is about more than just some secular laws."

Thank goodness for stand your ground laws, which will allow Christians to defend themselves from the hoodie-wearing Atheist In Chief with his Skittles of Oppression and his Iced Tea of Secularism! Rick Perry will save us from the Constitution, which is apparently just “some secular laws.”

“God=Registered Sex Offender!”

Since: Jul 12

Wylie, TX

#3 Sep 20, 2012
MrDesoto1 wrote:
What costume should this superhero wear?
I'm a TRUE Christian from Texas and I voted for Rick Perry because he's the spittin' image of Jesus Christ, as if Mary had birthed them both in the manger. What costume should our righteous TRUE Christian governor wear? Lordy, that's a silly question. Hell, in the world of questions, your query is like a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest. Obvious answer: Rick Perry should put on a crown of thorns, a loincloth-diaper, and dance the "Thorny Hat Dance"...He'd be the greatest superhero of them all, Joseph's stepkid...Jesus Christ or "Nuestro Señor Jesucristo", as he is known in fluent illegal Mexican. Rick Perry is the SMARTEST Aggie in Texas...Glory!

“God=Registered Sex Offender!”

Since: Jul 12

Wylie, TX

#4 Sep 20, 2012
Reason Personified wrote:
Rick Perry: "He's a dumb person's idea, of a smart person".
Quit sassin' a RIGHTEOUS true Christian man and the SMARTEST Aggie in Texas. Perry is so smart that he can actually pour piss out of a boot even when the instructions are not printed on the bottom. This makes him KING of the AGGIES in TEXAS!

“Reason's Greetings!”

Since: Feb 11

Pale Blue Dot

#7 Sep 22, 2012
6 Reasons We Need to Protect America from Texas Politicians

"Perhaps a fence would be in order."


"1. Texas Republican Senate candidate Ted Cruz says George Soros is funding a United Nations environmental conspiracy (to eliminate golf?)

2. Texas Board of Education rewrites history in textbooks

3. Texas Republican Party calls for ban on teaching critical thinking

4. Voting maps that deny the right to vote

5. Texas judge says civil war if President Obama reelected

6. Texas governor calls for state to secede from the US"

Hopefully AmericasBestChristian, being from Texas, will chime in again. I always enjoy his commentary.

Since: Mar 11

United States

#9 Sep 22, 2012
He is such a reject even the mouth breathing GOP faithful said they'd rather have a north east Mormon! Lmfao!

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