My "story" has always been the same.Yet you said you actively pretend to believe in god. Sort your story out!
I believe in the probability of a superior intelligence which was at the origin of the universe.
Under which form, I don't know. I call it a god because I cannot define it any better.
I just don't think the universe came to be spontaneously out of nothing like atheists pretend.
Having said that, I don't worship any god, nor follow any religion.