Indeed, TRUE Christians are called upon by His Righteous Armpits to pass judgment upon others. Mr. Skeptic may be repudiated by everyone, including Jesus Christ who died a 33-year-old virgin carpenter in a blood-soaked diaper, but we are also called to first pass judgment upon ourselves. A TRUE Christian begins every act of judgment by looking between his legs. Are you circumcised? Does your "wee-wee" look like Jesus "wee-wee"? You can use a very small mirror (unless you are colored) to verify that your personal member is a replica of the very "wee-wee" Jesus took to Heaven with Him. Remember: when trying to emulate Jesus, you should overlook no detail. You can even circumcise yourself in the privacy of your own home. All you need is a kitchen knife, a can of Crisco, a roll of paper towels and your "wee-wee". Check yourself before you wreck yourself:<quoted text>
Nobody accepts you. You're too dumb.
1.Lay your "wee-wee" over a flat surface (preferably over the sink).
2.Use a kitchen knife with a very dull blade. Press down on the bothersome pink ring near the uncircumcised tip of your "wee-wee".
3.Move the knife back and forth. Apply Crisco oil. Stop when it cuts all the way through or when you hear a popping sound.
4.Apply paper towels saturated with Crisco oil to the BLESSED wound.
5.Wait 7 days before returning to Church or before passing judgment on others.
Glory and Praise to the CIRCUMCISED Lamb of God who shed His blood over a kitchen sink!
**I use "wee-wee" because Topix won't let me post the anatomically accurate vocabulary found in Grey's Anatomy.**