God is No Father

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#667 Apr 5, 2013
The serpent was right wrote:
<quoted text>
Obviously you didn't understand. That's why we are all laughing at you. LOL!!
Any luck with that evidence you were lying about having? LOL!!!
Laugh is all you can do.... if we let it get to us, we'd likely cry for the sorry fate of humankind...
Imhotep

Hernando, FL

#668 Apr 5, 2013
Bob of Quantum-Faith wrote:
<quoted text>
(I say this with great irony)... Thank God.
:LMAO:
I thought mittens lost because of that 47% remark.
As it turned out it was a stunning disaster for the GOP.

Did you notice how he avoided magic Mormon underwear and a fabulous planet Kolub?

Mormons are only slightly crazier than Christians

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The decision of Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) to support same-sex marriage after learning that his son was gay has inspired hundreds of other Republican lawmakers to stop speaking to their children immediately, G.O.P. leaders confirmed today.

“I have gathered my caucus and told them, if your kids are going to tell you something that’s going to cost you the next election, it’s better to nip that situation in the bud,” said House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio).“Just stop talking to them altogether, for heaven’s sakes.”

Speaker Boehner said he was advising his fellow Republicans who were “hell bent on speaking to their children” to keep things superficial:“You can talk about sports. You can talk about the weather. But anything beyond that, your policy should be,‘Don’t ask, don’t tell.’”

But even as Mr. Boehner laid down the new guidelines for not speaking to one’s children, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Virginia) said that the policy “doesn’t go far enough.”

“What if you’re having a conversation with your kids and it turns out they’re in favor of raising the capital-gains tax or banning assault rifles?” he said.“Do what I do—block their calls.”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) agreed with his fellow G.O.P. leaders’ words of caution, adding,“Fortunately, none of my children want to talk to me.”
Imhotep

Hernando, FL

#669 Apr 5, 2013
@john virus caused that double post.
;)

Sorry
Thinking

Staines, UK

#670 Apr 5, 2013
Respeck![sic]
NightSerf wrote:
<quoted text>
... or at least well cultured...

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#671 Apr 5, 2013
Imhotep wrote:
<quoted text>
I thought mittens lost because of that 47% remark.
As it turned out it was a stunning disaster for the GOP.
Did you notice how he avoided magic Mormon underwear and a fabulous planet Kolub?
Mormons are only slightly crazier than Christians
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The decision of Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) to support same-sex marriage after learning that his son was gay has inspired hundreds of other Republican lawmakers to stop speaking to their children immediately, G.O.P. leaders confirmed today.
“I have gathered my caucus and told them, if your kids are going to tell you something that’s going to cost you the next election, it’s better to nip that situation in the bud,” said House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio).“Just stop talking to them altogether, for heaven’s sakes.”
Speaker Boehner said he was advising his fellow Republicans who were “hell bent on speaking to their children” to keep things superficial:“You can talk about sports. You can talk about the weather. But anything beyond that, your policy should be,‘Don’t ask, don’t tell.’”
But even as Mr. Boehner laid down the new guidelines for not speaking to one’s children, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Virginia) said that the policy “doesn’t go far enough.”
“What if you’re having a conversation with your kids and it turns out they’re in favor of raising the capital-gains tax or banning assault rifles?” he said.“Do what I do—block their calls.”
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) agreed with his fellow G.O.P. leaders’ words of caution, adding,“Fortunately, none of my children want to talk to me.”
Effing Brilliant!

Comedy gold.

(in the voice of Monty Python)

...'e used.... sarcasm
Imhotep

Hernando, FL

#672 Apr 5, 2013
Bob of Quantum-Faith wrote:
<quoted text>
Effing Brilliant!
Comedy gold.
(in the voice of Monty Python)
...'e used.... sarcasm
Andy Borowitz is one of my favorite comedy writers.

Topical newsworthy sarcasm is his specialty.

VATICAN CITY (The Borowitz Report)—This wasn’t how it was supposed to play out. For Cardinal Bonifacius Steuer, last night was supposed to be a time of celebration, when the Dutchman who had dreamed of being Pope ever since his boyhood days in Rotterdam would finally stand on the balcony at the Vatican, basking in the cheers of thousands of the euphoric faithful.

There are no cheers for Bonifacius Steuer today. Only empty silence, and time to reflect on what might have been.

“Look, I’m not going to lie to you,” Cardinal Steuer said, in his first interview since his bruising defeat.“It kills me not to be there, not to be in the Vatican doing what needs to be done.”

While Steuer said that he is “not going to get into that whole blame-game thing,” he sounded bitter when he spoke about the mainstream media.“People weren’t allowed to see me for who I was,” he said.“They made me look like I’m some rich, rich guy, when you know that I’m as poor as a church mouse.”

But what closed the deal for Pope Francis, Steuer believes, was his outreach to the poor, which the Dutchman calls a “failed policy of the past.”

“Look, if you go around saying,‘the poor this, the poor that,’ you’re going to get a lot of support from people who want free stuff,” he said.“Francis’s campaign, if you will, focussed on giving targeted groups a big gift.”

Reflecting on the two-day conclave that chose someone else, Steuer was philosophical:“We were on a roller coaster, exciting and thrilling, ups and downs. But the ride ends. And then you get off. And it’s not like, oh, can’t we be on a roller coaster the rest of our life? It’s like, no, the ride’s over.”

Steuer said it’s “too early” to talk about his future plans, but that he first intends to sit down with his closest advisers to reflect on what went wrong this time around.“I’m going to meet with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, and I’m going to be like,‘Come on, guys, don’t hold back,’” he said.

But even as he sounded an aggrieved note as he spoke about “the hand I was dealt,” Steuer seemed to reserve his harshest criticism for one person: himself.

“Look, at the end of the day, this is on me,” he said.“This was all about getting enough Catholic votes, and I didn’t get it done.”

;)

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#673 Apr 5, 2013
Imhotep wrote:
<quoted text>
Andy Borowitz is one of my favorite comedy writers.
Topical newsworthy sarcasm is his specialty.
VATICAN CITY (The Borowitz Report)—This wasn’t how it was supposed to play out. For Cardinal Bonifacius Steuer, last night was supposed to be a time of celebration, when the Dutchman who had dreamed of being Pope ever since his boyhood days in Rotterdam would finally stand on the balcony at the Vatican, basking in the cheers of thousands of the euphoric faithful.
There are no cheers for Bonifacius Steuer today. Only empty silence, and time to reflect on what might have been.
“Look, I’m not going to lie to you,” Cardinal Steuer said, in his first interview since his bruising defeat.“It kills me not to be there, not to be in the Vatican doing what needs to be done.”
While Steuer said that he is “not going to get into that whole blame-game thing,” he sounded bitter when he spoke about the mainstream media.“People weren’t allowed to see me for who I was,” he said.“They made me look like I’m some rich, rich guy, when you know that I’m as poor as a church mouse.”
But what closed the deal for Pope Francis, Steuer believes, was his outreach to the poor, which the Dutchman calls a “failed policy of the past.”
“Look, if you go around saying,‘the poor this, the poor that,’ you’re going to get a lot of support from people who want free stuff,” he said.“Francis’s campaign, if you will, focussed on giving targeted groups a big gift.”
Reflecting on the two-day conclave that chose someone else, Steuer was philosophical:“We were on a roller coaster, exciting and thrilling, ups and downs. But the ride ends. And then you get off. And it’s not like, oh, can’t we be on a roller coaster the rest of our life? It’s like, no, the ride’s over.”
Steuer said it’s “too early” to talk about his future plans, but that he first intends to sit down with his closest advisers to reflect on what went wrong this time around.“I’m going to meet with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, and I’m going to be like,‘Come on, guys, don’t hold back,’” he said.
But even as he sounded an aggrieved note as he spoke about “the hand I was dealt,” Steuer seemed to reserve his harshest criticism for one person: himself.
“Look, at the end of the day, this is on me,” he said.“This was all about getting enough Catholic votes, and I didn’t get it done.”
;)
:)

As amusing as that is? It's far more rational than the actual reality itself.

Which is just ugly, but there you go-- humor always plays well.

:D
Imhotep

North Fort Myers, FL

#674 Apr 5, 2013
http://newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzrep...

PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)—In a move that has further ratcheted up tensions on the Korean peninsula, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un today moved his entire collection of Transformers action figures to the border with South Korea.

According to sources familiar with the size and scope of the collection, which is believed to be the largest in Asia, the mercurial Kim began assembling it when he was either eight or nine.

In Washington, an intelligence source reported that satellite photos have confirmed thousands of Transformers massing on the southern border:“We are seeing no Autobots. Just tons and tons of Decepticons.”

Kim himself confirmed the Transformers mobilization today on state television, announcing,“I am Megatron,” followed by an unintelligible roar.

The latest development in North Korea follows published reports that Kim Jong-un may be trying to obtain a light sabre.

Since: Mar 11

Lexington, KY

#675 Apr 5, 2013
:high five:

That would be the Mormon god who had several all night fck sessions with Mary whole Joseph waited patiently outside right?

Lol!
Bob of Quantum-Faith wrote:
<quoted text>(I say this with great irony)... Thank God.

:LMAO:

Since: Mar 11

Lexington, KY

#676 Apr 5, 2013
The stormin Mormon really had no chance even many GOPers I know weren't the least bit excited about him.
Imhotep wrote:
<quoted text>I thought mittens lost because of that 47% remark.
As it turned out it was a stunning disaster for the GOP.

Did you notice how he avoided magic Mormon underwear and a fabulous planet Kolub?

Mormons are only slightly crazier than Christians

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The decision of Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) to support same-sex marriage after learning that his son was gay has inspired hundreds of other Republican lawmakers to stop speaking to their children immediately, G.O.P. leaders confirmed today.

“I have gathered my caucus and told them, if your kids are going to tell you something that’s going to cost you the next election, it’s better to nip that situation in the bud,” said House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio).“Just stop talking to them altogether, for heaven’s sakes.”

Speaker Boehner said he was advising his fellow Republicans who were “hell bent on speaking to their children” to keep things superficial:“You can talk about sports. You can talk about the weather. But anything beyond that, your policy should be,‘Don’t ask, don’t tell.’”

But even as Mr. Boehner laid down the new guidelines for not speaking to one’s children, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Virginia) said that the policy “doesn’t go far enough.”

“What if you’re having a conversation with your kids and it turns out they’re in favor of raising the capital-gains tax or banning assault rifles?” he said.“Do what I do—block their calls.”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) agreed with his fellow G.O.P. leaders’ words of caution, adding,“Fortunately, none of my children want to talk to me.”

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#677 Apr 5, 2013
Imhotep wrote:
http://newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzrep...
PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)—In a move that has further ratcheted up tensions on the Korean peninsula, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un today moved his entire collection of Transformers action figures to the border with South Korea.
According to sources familiar with the size and scope of the collection, which is believed to be the largest in Asia, the mercurial Kim began assembling it when he was either eight or nine.
In Washington, an intelligence source reported that satellite photos have confirmed thousands of Transformers massing on the southern border:“We are seeing no Autobots. Just tons and tons of Decepticons.”
Kim himself confirmed the Transformers mobilization today on state television, announcing,“I am Megatron,” followed by an unintelligible roar.
The latest development in North Korea follows published reports that Kim Jong-un may be trying to obtain a light sabre.
LMAO!

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#678 Apr 5, 2013
Givemeliberty wrote:
:high five:
That would be the Mormon god who had several all night fck sessions with Mary whole Joseph waited patiently outside right?
Lol!
<quoted text>
:)
Imhotep

North Fort Myers, FL

#679 Apr 5, 2013
Givemeliberty wrote:
The stormin Mormon really had no chance even many GOPers I know weren't the least bit excited about him.
<quoted text>
During the elections last year I had a great time visiting a forum title something like "who says Mormons aren't Christians"

There were some rabid Mormon posters there that provided excellent insight into their faith.

As usual, zero evidence, only more ridiculous beliefs.

Bishop Mittens stayed well clear of his church.
Political and intellectual suicide.
Imhotep

North Fort Myers, FL

#680 Apr 5, 2013
Bob of Quantum-Faith wrote:
<quoted text>
:)
As amusing as that is? It's far more rational than the actual reality itself.
Which is just ugly, but there you go-- humor always plays well.
:D
I thought it's clever the way he mixed our politics in with the sarcasm of the Vatican.

Since: Mar 11

Lexington, KY

#681 Apr 5, 2013
Why couldn't someone have asked mitt about that naughty naughty kitty Mother Mary of the Mormon church? That would have made the debate.

The GOP is going right down the crapper, it may very well be a long time before we see another republican retard as president.

:)
Imhotep wrote:
<quoted text>During the elections last year I had a great time visiting a forum title something like "who says Mormons aren't Christians"

There were some rabid Mormon posters there that provided excellent insight into their faith.

As usual, zero evidence, only more ridiculous beliefs.

Bishop Mittens stayed well clear of his church.
Political and intellectual suicide.
Imhotep

Hernando, FL

#682 Apr 5, 2013
It's Friday night and feeling in Humorous -
mood is there an audience?

Same-sex marriage

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Justice Antonin Scalia dropped a bombshell on the Supreme Court today, announcing his decision to resign from the Court “effective immediately” and leave the United States forever.

Calling this week “by far the worst week of my life,” Justice Scalia lashed out at his fellow-Justices and the nation, saying,“I don’t want to live in a sick, sick country that thinks the way this country apparently thinks.”

Justice Scalia said that he had considered fleeing to Canada,“but they not only have gay marriage but also national health care, which is almost as evil.”

He said the fact that nations around the world recognizing same-sex marriage are “falling like deviant dominoes” would not deter him from leaving the United States:“There are plenty of other countries that still feel the way I do. I’ll move to Iran if I have to.”

Throwing off his robe in a dramatic gesture, Justice Scalia reserved his harshest parting shot for his fellow-Justices, screaming,“Damn you! Damn each and every one of you to hell! You call yourself judges? That’s a good one. You’re nothing but animals!”

Breathing heavily after his tirade, he turned to Justice Clarence Thomas and said,“Except you, Clarence. Are you coming with me?”

Justice Thomas said nothing in reply.

Gun control

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As the national conversation about guns enters its fifth month, the National Rifle Association C.E.O. Wayne LaPierre gave it his seal of approval today, saying that he hopes the conversation continues “forever.”

“I must admit, when the national conversation about guns started in those dark days of December, I thought it was a bad idea,” said Mr. LaPierre.“People kept saying that things would be different this time, and that scared the bejesus out of me.”

Because of what appeared to be a new resolve to finally do something about gun violence, he said,“I was concerned that the national conversation about guns would turn into something uglier, like congressional action.”

“Fortunately, that danger seems to have passed,” he said.

The N.R.A. leader said that he expects his organization to continue to take an active role in the national conversation about guns as it moves forward:“We want to talk about an assault-rifle ban. We want to talk about background checks. We want to talk about anything else that we know will never happen.”

But while Mr. LaPierre “can’t believe how well the national conversation is going,” he said that the N.R.A. would remain vigilant in keeping the conversation from “veering off into concrete remedies that will actually change things.”

“We’ve had five months of talk, and that’s a good start,” he said.“But now is the time for more talk.”

;)

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#683 Apr 5, 2013
Imhotep wrote:
<quoted text>
During the elections last year I had a great time visiting a forum title something like "who says Mormons aren't Christians"
There were some rabid Mormon posters there that provided excellent insight into their faith.
As usual, zero evidence, only more ridiculous beliefs.
Bishop Mittens stayed well clear of his church.
Political and intellectual suicide.
Proving that his "faith" was just a sham, used to feed his own ego, and to placate his idiot followers.

The louder a politician screams his "faith" the more likely it is, he doesn't really believe any of it, but uses it as just another tool on the road to office.

Sadly, the idiots listening to him, will buy the swill as if it was priceless honey...

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#684 Apr 5, 2013
Imhotep wrote:
<quoted text>
I thought it's clever the way he mixed our politics in with the sarcasm of the Vatican.
It was very clever.

I just have a hard time getting past the Vatacian Atrocity even now being committed onto the world's peoples.

... it's an ugly religion-- greedy as hell too.

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#685 Apr 5, 2013
Givemeliberty wrote:
Why couldn't someone have asked mitt about that naughty naughty kitty Mother Mary of the Mormon church? That would have made the debate.
The GOP is going right down the crapper, it may very well be a long time before we see another republican retard as president.
:)
<quoted text>
That's fine with me-- the recent historical record shows that under republican leadership, the US looses jobs like crazy.

Whereas under the last two Democrat presidents, jobs were created sometimes 10 to 1 as compared to their republican's records...

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#686 Apr 5, 2013
Imhotep wrote:
It's Friday night and feeling in Humorous -
mood is there an audience?
Same-sex marriage
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Justice Antonin Scalia dropped a bombshell on the Supreme Court today, announcing his decision to resign from the Court “effective immediately” and leave the United States forever.
Calling this week “by far the worst week of my life,” Justice Scalia lashed out at his fellow-Justices and the nation, saying,“I don’t want to live in a sick, sick country that thinks the way this country apparently thinks.”
Justice Scalia said that he had considered fleeing to Canada,“but they not only have gay marriage but also national health care, which is almost as evil.”
He said the fact that nations around the world recognizing same-sex marriage are “falling like deviant dominoes” would not deter him from leaving the United States:“There are plenty of other countries that still feel the way I do. I’ll move to Iran if I have to.”
Throwing off his robe in a dramatic gesture, Justice Scalia reserved his harshest parting shot for his fellow-Justices, screaming,“Damn you! Damn each and every one of you to hell! You call yourself judges? That’s a good one. You’re nothing but animals!”
Breathing heavily after his tirade, he turned to Justice Clarence Thomas and said,“Except you, Clarence. Are you coming with me?”
Justice Thomas said nothing in reply.
Gun control
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As the national conversation about guns enters its fifth month, the National Rifle Association C.E.O. Wayne LaPierre gave it his seal of approval today, saying that he hopes the conversation continues “forever.”
“I must admit, when the national conversation about guns started in those dark days of December, I thought it was a bad idea,” said Mr. LaPierre.“People kept saying that things would be different this time, and that scared the bejesus out of me.”
Because of what appeared to be a new resolve to finally do something about gun violence, he said,“I was concerned that the national conversation about guns would turn into something uglier, like congressional action.”
“Fortunately, that danger seems to have passed,” he said.
The N.R.A. leader said that he expects his organization to continue to take an active role in the national conversation about guns as it moves forward:“We want to talk about an assault-rifle ban. We want to talk about background checks. We want to talk about anything else that we know will never happen.”
But while Mr. LaPierre “can’t believe how well the national conversation is going,” he said that the N.R.A. would remain vigilant in keeping the conversation from “veering off into concrete remedies that will actually change things.”
“We’ve had five months of talk, and that’s a good start,” he said.“But now is the time for more talk.”
;)
Well done.

If only Scala really would flee to Iraq...

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