There will be no Atheists in Hell (Here's the Proof)

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TurkishDelight

Asheboro, NC

#1 Feb 9, 2011
"That at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow...and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." (Philippians 2:10-11, Holy Bible).

Everyone in eternal Hell will be believers...but then it will be too late for them to escape. Every...yes, every man will know Jesus is Lord at some point.

Will you confess Him as Lord and Savior before it's too late??

BBN is on Facebook and Twitter.
redneck

Cave Junction, OR

#2 Feb 9, 2011
He's your god, you go to hell.

“Citizen_Patriot_ Voter_Atheist!”

Since: May 09

Earth,TX

#3 Feb 10, 2011
TurkishDelight wrote:
"That at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow...and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." (Philippians 2:10-11, Holy Bible).
Everyone in eternal Hell will be believers...but then it will be too late for them to escape. Every...yes, every man will know Jesus is Lord at some point.
Will you confess Him as Lord and Savior before it's too late??
BBN is on Facebook and Twitter.
Hell is for women, haven't you heard? Some Muslim prophet has already checked it out and there are almost no men there, it is all women.

So quit threatening the men here! We women will do what we choose with hell, PDQ.

Satan won't be a problem at all. Haven't you heard hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Now imagine a few hundred billion of us scorned because of our sex, by your god of the gonads. LOL!

“ecrasez l'infame”

Since: May 08

Atlanta, Georgia

#4 Feb 10, 2011
“If I am right, then [religious fundamentalists] will not go to Heaven, because there is no Heaven. If THEY are right, then they will not go to Heaven, because they are hypocrites.” ~ Isaac Asimov

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#5 Feb 13, 2011
TurkishDelight wrote:
Will you confess Him as Lord and Savior before it's too late??
Confess....what?

That you are a lunatic?

Okay: you are a lunatic.

There, can I get into your heaven NOW?

No?

Good.... I really don't much care for harp music anyway.

Since: Nov 10

Location hidden

#6 Feb 16, 2011
Lol
nina

Canada

#7 Feb 17, 2011
Reason Personified wrote:
<quoted text>
Hell is for women, haven't you heard? Some Muslim prophet has already checked it out and there are almost no men there, it is all women.
So quit threatening the men here! We women will do what we choose with hell, PDQ.
Satan won't be a problem at all. Haven't you heard hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Now imagine a few hundred billion of us scorned because of our sex, by your god of the gonads. LOL!
all women?

sounds like heaven to me
Richard

Saint Marys, Australia

#10 Feb 18, 2011
Reason Personified wrote:
<quoted text>
Hell is for women, haven't you heard?......
In that case, which way is to hell!

“Citizen_Patriot_ Voter_Atheist!”

Since: May 09

Earth,TX

#11 Feb 18, 2011
Richard wrote:
<quoted text>
In that case, which way is to hell!
Beats me, but we are apparently going to find it very very soon.
Mr Smartypants

Saint Paul, MN

#12 Feb 18, 2011
According to a popular song, in Heaven there is no beer. No doubt, anything with a stronger kick than beer will probably also be prohibited. And also no sex according to most believers. And, of course, no rock 'n' roll, just harp music. Sounds like a vacation in Salt Lake City--that never ends.

All the cool people like Bertrand Russell, Voltaire, and Carl Sagan will be in hell. Along with awesome bands like Led Zeppelin to provide musical accompaniment. And biker chicks. And dominatrices, of course. Sounds a lot more fun to me...
Richard

Saint Marys, Australia

#13 Feb 18, 2011
Mr Smartypants wrote:
According to a popular song, in Heaven there is no beer. No doubt, anything with a stronger kick than beer will probably also be prohibited. And also no sex according to most believers. And, of course, no rock 'n' roll, just harp music. Sounds like a vacation in Salt Lake City--that never ends.
All the cool people like Bertrand Russell, Voltaire, and Carl Sagan will be in hell. Along with awesome bands like Led Zeppelin to provide musical accompaniment. And biker chicks. And dominatrices, of course. Sounds a lot more fun to me...
Question:
If there is no bonking in heaven how come you can not get in, if your gentleman parts are not in order?

“Citizen_Patriot_ Voter_Atheist!”

Since: May 09

Earth,TX

#14 Feb 18, 2011
Richard wrote:
<quoted text>
Question:
If there is no bonking in heaven how come you can not get in, if your gentleman parts are not in order?
The boinking may not be as, some might expect. All those perfect dangly bits and no women. Could Jehovah have plans that haven't been revealed? Lucky me, I'm female, and not going to heaven.

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#15 Feb 19, 2011
Reason Personified wrote:
<quoted text>The boinking may not be as, some might expect. All those perfect dangly bits and no women. Could Jehovah have plans that haven't been revealed? Lucky me, I'm female, and not going to heaven.
Well, we all know that Gawd has male dangly bits-- how else could he have knocked up Mary?

Perhaps, since "heaven" is an exclusively all-male club, everyone there will be turned into gay-homosexuals?

To satisfy Jesus, who only hung out with men, after all.

Now, I have no problem with gay-homosexuals myself; people like anyone else.

But it seems rather hypocritical of christians to be so against gay-homosexuals, when their heaven is going to be nothing >but< teh gays.

I'm just sayin'....

“Citizen_Patriot_ Voter_Atheist!”

Since: May 09

Earth,TX

#16 Feb 20, 2011
Bob of Quantum-Faith wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, we all know that Gawd has male dangly bits-- how else could he have knocked up Mary?
Perhaps, since "heaven" is an exclusively all-male club, everyone there will be turned into gay-homosexuals?
To satisfy Jesus, who only hung out with men, after all.
Now, I have no problem with gay-homosexuals myself; people like anyone else.
But it seems rather hypocritical of christians to be so against gay-homosexuals, when their heaven is going to be nothing >but< teh gays.
I'm just sayin'....
That puts the mandatory "praise him" on a whole nuther level, don't it? I'll bet 99% of those new gays in heaven will just go along, with whatever sky daddy wants. After all, doesn't sky daddy know what is best for them?
Ocean56

AOL

#17 Feb 20, 2011
Mr Smartypants wrote:
All the cool people like Bertrand Russell, Voltaire, and Carl Sagan will be in hell. Along with awesome bands like Led Zeppelin to provide musical accompaniment. And biker chicks. And dominatrices, of course. Sounds a lot more fun to me...
Exactly. Who wants to be in a place with a bunch of party poopers like funDUHmentalist christians or any other religious extremists? Not me.

They can keep their "heaven." Hell is the place for the cool folks. We can all meet up at Satan's Bar and Grill, on the corner of Fire and Brimstone. A non-stop party with no one to kick us out; how cool is THAT? Lol

“Quantum Junctn: Use Both Lanes”

Since: Dec 06

Tulsa, Oklahoma USofA

#18 Feb 20, 2011
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
Exactly. Who wants to be in a place with a bunch of party poopers like funDUHmentalist christians or any other religious extremists? Not me.
They can keep their "heaven." Hell is the place for the cool folks. We can all meet up at Satan's Bar and Grill, on the corner of Fire and Brimstone. A non-stop party with no one to kick us out; how cool is THAT? Lol
Cool indeed.

And, I have it on Good Authority, that there will be No Coffee in heaven.

And I cannot abide not having my cuppa joe....

:)
Mr Smartypants

Saint Paul, MN

#20 Feb 21, 2011
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
Exactly. Who wants to be in a place with a bunch of party poopers like funDUHmentalist christians or any other religious extremists? Not me.
They can keep their "heaven." Hell is the place for the cool folks. We can all meet up at Satan's Bar and Grill, on the corner of Fire and Brimstone. A non-stop party with no one to kick us out; how cool is THAT? Lol
I call dibs on the brimstone jacuzzi with all the rubber dominatrices :)
Luke

Perth, Australia

#21 Feb 22, 2011
Richard wrote:
<quoted text>
Question:
If there is no bonking in heaven how come you can not get in, if your gentleman parts are not in order?
I'm thinking perhaps it's needed to better "show your love" for god. No foreskin to get in the way while god kneels in the centre of all the men.
random person

Brisbane, Australia

#22 Jan 12, 2014
well disprove miracles...
iv seen them happen

“Citizen_Patriot_ Voter_Atheist!”

Since: May 09

Earth,TX

#23 Jan 13, 2014
random person wrote:
well disprove miracles...
iv seen them happen
Trickery, slight of hand, chicanery, willful stupidity, miracles are non-existent. Things happen, but not by miraculous means.
Most good Christain hands-on-faith-healers have been caught at their "God works miracles through me" shenanigans. Check out youtube, there are lot's of things the miracle workers were trying to hide. Miracles are like UFOs and ghostly visitations, seance or not, now that everybody has a camera phone, they just don't happen anymore.

Besides who cares what a god who would make you eat your children might say?

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