Pipe down jarhead. Got that latrine dug yet? Hurry the f up. I got the sh!ts today. OO-rah.<quoted text>
Oh calm down Frankie boi have another snort, you gimp, I hope you have a designated driver for your wheel chair.
A federal judge in California has knocked down the state's voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage, ruling Wednesday that the state's controversial Proposition 8 violates the U.S. Constitution.
Join the discussion below, or Read more at www.cnn.com.
#213990 Sep 2, 2013
#213991 Sep 2, 2013
The pizza delivery guy quit and went to a doctor and asked about a brain transplant.
The Dr. said he could have a lawyers brain for $500, a doctors brain for $1000 or a Marines brain for $50,000.
The man asked why a Marine brain cost so much.
The Dr. replied, "Do you know how many Marine brains we have to go through to find a good one?"
#213992 Sep 2, 2013
It was a dark, stormy, night. Gustavo the jarheaded Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.
A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young dopey Private Gustavo snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"
The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening Marine, nice night, isn't it?"
Well it wasn't a nice night, but the moronic Private Gustavo wasn't going to disagree with the General, so he saluted again and replied "Sir, Yes Sir!".
The General continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?"
The gay Private Gustavo didn't agree, but then the private was just a dopey private, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!"
The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train."
The flaming Private Gustavo glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said "Sir, Yes Sir!"
The General continued "I got this dog for my wife."
The wiseass Private Gustavo simply said "Good trade Sir!"
#213993 Sep 2, 2013
YUK!YUK!YUK!~Whoop~Whoop! Ah good times.
Gus the jarheaded marine.
#213994 Sep 2, 2013
Subject: MARINE ENTRANCE EXAM
Time Limit: 3 WKS
1. What language is spoken in France?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
___(a) build a bridge
___(b) sail the ocean
___(c) lead an army or
___(D) WRITE A PLAY!!!!
4. What religion is the Pope?(check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given?(approximately)
8. What are people in America's far north called?
9. Spell: Bush, Carter, and Clinton
10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five:
11. Where does rain come from?
___(b) a 7-11
___(d) the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR- spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?
17. Which part of America produces the most oranges?
___(a) New York
18. Advanced math. If you have three apples, how many apples do you have?
19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corporation) stand for?
20. The Cornell University tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?
* You must correctly answer three or more questions to qualify
* If you are stuck on any questions, you may ask the monitor for help.
#213995 Sep 2, 2013
If It Was Me And My Friend' Weren't Paying The Cable Bill - I'd Personally Just Cancel The Subscription And When They Asked Why There's No TV I Would Say "No One Paid The Bill."...
#213997 Sep 2, 2013
No. Low intelligence wasn't my problem. I failed the physical. My head wouldn't fit in the jar. If the Navy didn't take me I'd get drafted and be in the Army, a fate worse than death! Talk about dummies and losers.
#213998 Sep 2, 2013
Gotta give the big doofus a hug for trying. Actually I think he still lives at home but his ma makes him pay rent. Sooo.. he probably has his meals cooked and his clothes cleaned by his 'maid'. Mommy maid. He's a chuckle for sure. How's it hangin f-man?
#213999 Sep 2, 2013
Pizzo your not making much sense today!
#214000 Sep 2, 2013
No wonder them gay bois keep talkin bout yur stinky panties.
#214001 Sep 2, 2013
Navy promotion test
1. You are having lunch with your new Admiral, talking about the decision paper you wrote. During the conversation, a blonde walks into the dining area and she is so stunning you draw your boss's attention to her. Having his complete attention, you give a vivid description of what you would do if you had her alone in a motel room. She walks over to the table and introduces herself as the Admiral's daughter. Your next move is:
a. Ask for her hand in marriage.
b. Pretend you've forgotten how to speak English.
c. Repeat the conversation to the daughter and hope for the best.
2. You have been tasked to present a briefing to the Admiral. The success of this presentation will mean increasing your authorized manpower slots by 125%. In the middle of the proposal the Admiral leans over to look at your report and spits in your coffee. You:
a. Tell him you prefer your coffee black.
b. Ask him about his recent root canal.
c. Take a leak in his "OUT" box.
3. You are presenting a briefing to a group of 0-6s in the plushest office you've ever seen. The hot enchilada casserole and egg salad sandwich you had for lunch reacts, creating a severe pressure. Your sphincter loses its control and you break wind in a most convincing manner, causing three water glasses to shatter and a Captain to pass out. What you should do next is:
a. Offer to come back next week when the smell has gone away.
b. Point out the Chief of Staff and accuse him of the offense.
c. Challenge anyone in the room to do better.
4. You are at a briefing when you suddenly are overcome with an uncontrollable desire to pick your nose. Remembering this is definitely a NO-NO, you:
a. Pretend to wave to someone across the room, and with one fluid motion, bury your finger into your nostril right up to the fourth joint.
b. Get everyone drunk and organize a nose-picking contest with a prize to the one who makes his nose bleed first.
c. Drop your notes on the floor, and when you bend over to pick them up, blow your nose on your sock.
5. You have just spent the evening with an IG inspector who kept you at the club drinking until lights out. You get home just in time to change and go to work. You stagger into the men's room and spend the next half hour vomiting. As you are washing up at the sink, you boss walks in, blows cigar smoke in your face and asks you to join him for drinks after work. You:
a. Look him straight in the eye and launch one last convulsive torrent at the front of his Class A uniform.
b. Nail him right in the crotch, banking on the hope he'll never recognize your green face.
c. Grasp his hand and pump it until he pees in his pants.
#214002 Sep 2, 2013
This will make a few of the crooked politically connected to Glendora, California underbosses bleed from both ends and think twice before tying to screw the residents again.
A New York City judge says J.P. Morgan Investment Management Inc. owes billionaire Leonid Blavatnik more than $42.5 million in connection to an investment account.
Didn't someone end up running that Ken Herman out of town? Give them a raise for that, I heard he was an evil little man anyway.
Are you going to try it again GARY?
#214003 Sep 2, 2013
You talk to them gay boys eh fruitloops? What else do they "say" about panties? Nevermind. I don't really want to know. Enjoy! Sex is fun. With whoever you like and in your case who can stand your stench for 20 seconds. YUK!YUK!YUK!
#214004 Sep 2, 2013
yuk yuk yuk! So you pay twice as much as for an appartment, but then you get some of it back if you sell 'your' place. So if you don't like the spa, or gym, or pool, can you not pay for it??? No? How often do you use the consierge?? Finally, who's name is on the 'property' title??? Bet it's not you.. We still love ya ya big goofy doofus. Talk to a lawyer first if you don't understand those things. yuk yuk
#214005 Sep 2, 2013
Commonpeeps took 2 hours to eat breakfast because when he read the orange juice label it said concentrate. Then he talked to his gay friends about Frankie's panties. GET A JOB commonpeeps.
#214006 Sep 2, 2013
I always make sense, your confusion stems from the fact that you are insane.
#214007 Sep 2, 2013
Am I the only spades player here, that picks nil when I have the Ace of spades?
#214008 Sep 2, 2013
They're hanging real low. One even lower than the other. If I could walk I'd trip on them.
#214009 Sep 2, 2013
Good try Jiz.
#214010 Sep 2, 2013
YUK!YUK!YUK! "Luxury high rise". "Homeowner" "Almost paid for". Too funny! "Staff". "Landscaping". He probably pays extra for a silly little parking sticker. Like in cheesy apartments. "The Palms" or some such silly sh!t.
Ah, you can own anything you want on the internet! Good times.
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