My Teen Verbally Abuses Me

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Nel

Covington, LA

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#112
Aug 31, 2013
 
Hey. I am a mother. I just recently experience my daughter calling me names and being sarcastic and hateful. She was always good and loving and I got really lost not understanding what happened. I like your advise. Thank you and I will try it, especially that I did everything for her including spending a lot of time with her and she said I am just trying to buy her affection. I will stop buying her staff and I already told her that legally all I have to provide her with is shelter and food. I have no one to send her too and I would lie home to let her live without mother to show her what she I really was but I have no one. So, I will stop working as driver for her, buying make-up and other luxuries and we will see how it will work. I love her sooooo much and I don't know what got into her. Thanks for posting personal experience that can help many, not all because everyone different
LucysMom wrote:
<quoted text>
So, I'm sure everyone says it's going to get better- but I believe it will. First off, why is she calling you names? Clearly your daughter is really unhappy, and lashing out at you seems to give her some sort of vindication. I think you need to have a talk together- I know it's like adding salt to a wound, but something has got to give. I remember calling my mother names when I was about 15 and going through some rough times- but it was short-lived and she solved the issue by shipping me off to her aunt for a summer. I lived on a tiny houseboat with my elderly aunt and uncle and after two months, I swore I would never take my mother for granted ever again.... and I haven't.
Now, I'm not sure if you can go carting off your daughter to a relative to make her appreciate what she has- but perhaps giving her a dose of what life could be like without a loving mother would make things a bit better?
I can honestly say that I'm sorry for what you're experiencing, but if you have any faith in your mothering skills and all the good things you have instilled in her- just hang in there, something will make her turn around.
Perhaps she has too much time on her hands? Maybe a job would be a good way to learn some appreciation & respect? Or volunteering at a children's hospital, battered women's shelter? Something to make your daughter see that it's not okay to treat anyone the way she treats you.
Good luck!
Nel

Covington, LA

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#113
Aug 31, 2013
 
Hey. I am a mother. I just recently experience my daughter calling me names and being sarcastic and hateful. She was always good and loving and I got really lost not understanding what happened. I like your advise. Thank you and I will try it, especially that I did everything for her including spending a lot of time with her and she said I am just trying to buy her affection. I will stop buying her staff and I already told her that legally all I have to provide her with is shelter and food. I have no one to send her too and I would lie home to let her live without mother to show her what she I really was but I have no one. So, I will stop working as driver for her, buying make-up and other luxuries and we will see how it will work. I love her sooooo much and I don't know what got into her. Thanks for posting personal experience that can help many, not all because everyone different
jacky H

Limerick, Ireland

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#114
Sep 1, 2013
 

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I have two daughters aged 11 and 13. I have been separated since january of this year due to my husbands mental abuse. My 11 year old is very happy that he is gone because she said he was always angry and it scared her. My thirteen year old on the other hand has become very disrespectful towards me. She is an absolute nightmare. She constantly calls me names and slaps me across the arms for trivial things. She says I am a failure and that my job is stupid(I am a childminder)I believe I have stepped up to the plate since the separation and am doing my best for my daughters.She is about to start counceling with a teen councillor and hopefully that will help both of us....
D-Taylor

Ramsgate, UK

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#115
Nov 1, 2013
 
Thanks to everyone who has left a post, I thought I was alone, my only son who is 21 is so abusive, he dominates the house as well, he will take the telly control, refuse to leave me alone,he smashes things and once I felt so frightened I called the police, it calmned him down but to my dismay the officer made me feel bad calling them, I feel so depressed and its so hard.He has no idea of respect for his elders, where is it going wrong.
ging

Edmonton, Canada

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#117
Nov 5, 2013
 

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Ellen wrote:
<quoted text> You do not deserve to be called harsh hames nor sworn at and although you reacted in a strong way - it is understandable. As a mom you love and have taken such good care of your daughter, Im sure. When teens do this, they know its wrong, you know its wrong, everyone knows its wrong - and I would stick to my guns on this and let her go her way and think about it, even if that means that it isnt easy for you. In fact, I think one of the worst things to do is when the abused tries to make ammends right away with the abuser. When she has cooled down - she should tap into her memory of her loving mom and how all you can have is one mom, so she certainly shouldnt abuse her like this. Im tired of hearing psychologists saying - try to find out whats wrong - Ill tell them whats wrong - they think its okay to spew their anger on people who they know love them, and they dont have to impress, and they wouldnt dare do it to others they are trying to impress. You and your husband need to go to some kind of counseling though - the problem lies with him too- your daughter is using you, him and the grandparents like a ping pong game. Whenever something gets a little tough, dad pulls her out and brings her to grandmas house?? What kind of message is that!
I agree. Dad is not helping. I am going through the same thing but dad and I are still together. He feels guilty when my teen boy abuses us. He doesn't back me up bur keeps rescuing our son. Hes enabling him. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. Right now I just want to die.

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