Controversial diagnoses splits up two families - Newsday.com

There are 20 comments on the Nov 25, 2006, Newsday story titled Controversial diagnoses splits up two families - Newsday.com. In it, Newsday reports that:

That Saturday morning, Cindy Becvar was in the shower, getting ready to take her daughter to the Long Island Performing Arts Center to pose for dance recital pictures.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Newsday.

Neighbor of guardians

Beacon, NY

#22 Nov 26, 2006
Innocent wrote:
My prayers and support are being sent your way. It is very brave of you to go to the media with your story. There will be many who will attack you as their is much evil in our world. Stand by the truth and reach out to God for your strength.
Best Wishes from a mom who has been where you are.
No, it is NOT brave. It is unnecessarily exposing the children to the media. How horrible do you think it will be for them to attend school tomorrow with friends and teachers having read this article? I feel bad enough having to tell my daughter who saw the newspaper this morning to not mention anything to the children.

The children are dealing with enough right now. To have this story in the paper just makes things worse for them.
Everyone needs to start thinking about the children now, and not proving people wrong or right.
Penny Mellor

UK

#23 Nov 26, 2006
www.cbc.ca/news/background/seniorsdrugs/beers... - 50k -

Adderall and Reglan cause SIADH Syndrome of Innapropriate Anti Diuretic Hormone that equals hyponatremia (low salt levels) and also causes NMS neuroleptic malignant syndrome.

Bet they kids aren't on the drugs now-no drugs...and they then improve... surprise surprise.

www.msbp.com for the facts.
Joan Ficca NC

United States

#24 Nov 26, 2006
The most disturbing of all of this is the children. How can children be "doing just fine", when they were "snatched" from there parents? How can they be doing fine when in their minds they equate "being or feeling sick" something that must be wrong, because they were punished for it! So many people think they know all the answers to this, Yes even Lauren and Andrew's Aunt and Uncle, but do you? If you care so much, why do you throw salt on the wound? I was there when Cindy gave birth to both her children, and both children were born with medical problems. Cindy and Greg have always shown me to be loving, caring, giving parents, who from the very start of parenthood, had to learn to be advocates for their children. I just bet that any mother who reads this article would ask the same question as I did "I have taken my children to doctors to get them care, and if I could not get them what they needed, I would search the world until I did. This is what mothers who care and love do. Its not self edifying, its being deligent. So for those of you out there who are so ready to throw the stone, stop, and think about all the damage that has been done to this family.They need your prayers most. This family needs to be reunited, and even with that will probably spend years of therapy to help heal these wounds inflicted by a doctor who has a "savior" complex, and not a lot of knowledge when it comes to MHBP. My prayer is for our very "broken" court system, where it seems there is no longer justice, only law, and even with that the law does not serve the people. May God help us.
Wishing love on all

United States

#25 Nov 26, 2006
I can see both sides of this issue, but after careful re-reading, it appears that the good doctor was determined to bolster her own reputation as the "expert" in this field by diagnosing yet more children with this. Frankly, she reminds me of Robert Moses in her excessive zeal and arrogant confidence that she knows best and all - resulting in long-term destruction and devastation.

To those who wrote in that the children are thriving in their family foster care, how nice. I don't think this article claimed anything otherwise. I'm sure that the neighbors of both families of origin would have been equally supportive. Since the article was not a referendum on the parenting of the foster parents, your comments are misplaced. Try to remain on topic, and on task. Look into some ADHD or ADD diagnosis tools to help you with that - oh, you're not ADHD or ADD?

Ah....

Now you see the point, don't you?

Easy to diagnose someone if the diagnoser has a bias. Hard to be on the receiving end of a false diagnosis and "prove" you're not...whatever you've been labeled.

Food for thought. Judge not...lest ye be judged, eh?
BBS

Shoreham, NY

#26 Nov 26, 2006
To all of you out there I have lived near Cindy and Greg for many years. I watched these children grow up in a loving caring family. When this happened to them I could not believe that the court would allow a family to be broken up over a fictitous disorder.As a nurse I have seen Andrew grow increasingly sicker during the time he was on adderal. Has anyone ever looked up the side effects of this drug that they so nonchalantly give to the children we love. If they did they would see loss of appetite , fevers of unexplained origin, loss of weight and many more.If he is showing any improvement it is because he is not taking that anymore, something Cindy and Greg tried to get the doctor to stop but he wouldn't. I was there with Andrew when he had his tubes inserted into his ears, which were full of fluid and his adenoids removed and I know the surgeon who did the procedure. He is a conscienctious, caring knowledgable Ear, Nose and Throat specialist who would never ever do surgery on a child just because a mother said the child needed it. No surgeon that I know would take the mothers word over their own knowledge to do a invasive procedure and jeopardize their career by doing something they know was wrong. This child was sick and the woman who supposedly examined him knew that . I am not even going to go there because I have no respect for that person. I hope I have cleared up any thing else you might be reading on this subject. Please pray these children go home where they belong with both of their parents.
ANONYMOUS

Whippany, NJ

#27 Nov 26, 2006
anonymous wrote:
YOU'RE SICK!!!!!!!!!!
NO YOU ARE A SICK BROTHER AND SISTER IN LAW!!!!!!!
Elyse

AOL

#28 Nov 26, 2006
I know Susan Nilsen and can guarantee that she does not have Munchhausen's. She is a very caring mother who would never harm any of her children, and is most definitely NOT an attention seeker. This pediatrician is on a witch hunt and lose lose her license to practice medicine.
Neighbor of guardians

Beacon, NY

#29 Nov 26, 2006
ANONYMOUS wrote:
<quoted text>
NO YOU ARE A SICK BROTHER AND SISTER IN LAW!!!!!!!
How dare you say they're sick! They are taking care of these children with all their heart! You clearly have no idea what you're talking about! If THEY were the sick ones, clearly they would have had their kids taken away, but they didn't, did they?

And by the way, that was my daughter that put that. Don't assume what you know nothing about.
Wishing love on all

United States

#30 Nov 26, 2006
Thank you, Neighbor of Guardians, for making my point while attacking others.

Your sterling example of the hysteria around this case could not have been better penned had I donned a disguise for the witch-hunters and posed as you.
angela

Cold Spring Harbor, NY

#31 Nov 26, 2006
i think i see this in a person i know. puts her child on meds because she cant handle him plus other stuff but i have no proof
ANONYMOUS

Whippany, NJ

#32 Nov 26, 2006
Neighbor of guardians wrote:
<quoted text>
No, it is NOT brave. It is unnecessarily exposing the children to the media. How horrible do you think it will be for them to attend school tomorrow with friends and teachers having read this article? I feel bad enough having to tell my daughter who saw the newspaper this morning to not mention anything to the children.
The children are dealing with enough right now. To have this story in the paper just makes things worse for them.
Everyone needs to start thinking about the children now, and not proving people wrong or right.
How horrible do you think it is that these children are not home with their parents?? These children did nothing wrong. They beg their grandparents to go home every week. How is this situation helping?? CPS accused the Becvars of endangering their children, and without investigation took these children from their home. How much damage is CPS doing by keeping these children away from their parents. Just remember everyone out their judging these mothers YOU CAN BE THE NEXT TO BE FASELY ACCUSED AND THEN WHAT WOULD YOU BE SAYING??????
Newsday subscriber

Beacon, NY

#33 Nov 26, 2006
If you read about this syndrom, the only way to tell if the child is not sick is to keep them away from the mother. Apparently this child has not been sick in the 5 months he has been out of her care. Does that not say something about the mother.
BBS

Shoreham, NY

#34 Nov 26, 2006
What it says is that he has not been on the medication that the doctor put him on . Don't be in such a hurry to judge.
Good friend of Guardians

Englishtown, NJ

#35 Nov 26, 2006
I am proud to say that I am good friends with the Becvar childrens guardians. They took these children in upon the request of the childrens father. They did so without hesitation. They did this so the children would not go into foster care. I feel they should be commended for doing this. How many of us would do this??? But they are not the focus of this article are they??
Munchausen by Proxy is taken very seriously by both the medical as well as the legal community. It takes alot of evidence to prove this and unfortunately the Becvars have provided it The list of physicians and unwarranted tests are lengththy at best and any person would be suspicious of all the evidence that was presented. This is not a witch hunt as it has been stated in an early blog but this is about protecting the children.
I feel the Becvars should stop spending their elderly parents money on proving themselves right and turn their energy to seeking treatment for the both of them. How many professionals will it take to for them hear that she indeed has a psychiatric disorder?? Greg needs to help Cindy get the treatment she needs and for him to get treatment so he can get HIS children back.
The children are the main focus. Andrew has been fever free since his arrival in his guardians home. I did not know that chronic illnesses disappear without medical treatment..
Think about that...Andrew does not need any further treatment because he is NOT sick!!! He is a healthy, happy little boy who is no longer pale or withdrawn..Living in a healthy environment has done both of them good. Neither child would qualify for a Make a Wish trip now. Hmmm.. makes you wonder...Of course they both miss their parents but every child wants to be with their parent. But we as a society need to keep our children safe. That is what this is all about.
Having a psychiatric disorder is not disgraceful but not seeking treatment is.
You will not hear from the guardians of the Becvar children since they do not need or want to defend themselves. They are taking care of these children like their own and for that we should be grateful that kind and compassionate people still exist in this day and age.
Good friend of Guardians

Englishtown, NJ

#36 Nov 26, 2006
ANONYMOUS wrote:
<quoted text>
How horrible do you think it is that these children are not home with their parents?? These children did nothing wrong. They beg their grandparents to go home every week. How is this situation helping?? CPS accused the Becvars of endangering their children, and without investigation took these children from their home. How much damage is CPS doing by keeping these children away from their parents. Just remember everyone out their judging these mothers YOU CAN BE THE NEXT TO BE FASELY ACCUSED AND THEN WHAT WOULD YOU BE SAYING??????
CPS has folder so thick if you threw at someone it would hurt them. This was done with thorough investigation. Tell me if you would put your child through all the testing that he went through??? When is enough??? She did this because she is a mentally ill person and she needs treatment. Why is he healthy now???? Explain that to me then ask the question "Why were they taken away?"
PSWI

West Babylon, NY

#37 Nov 26, 2006
Newsday subscriber wrote:
If you read about this syndrom, the only way to tell if the child is not sick is to keep them away from the mother. Apparently this child has not been sick in the 5 months he has been out of her care. Does that not say something about the mother.
It is hard to say this child has not been sick, since the only doctor authorized to see him since he was removed in June is the accusing doctor. Whatever your opinion on this subject, I think all should agree this is not acceptable. The courts have denied any and all requests from the Becvars for the children to been seen by other doctors, including the children's own pediatricians. These are the same pediatricians who testified on behalf of Cindy & Greg. If the accusing doctor has nothing to hide and is secure in her beliefs, why deny this?
Natalie Lynch

Feeding Hills, MA

#38 Nov 26, 2006
I find it quite funny that you posted your opinion but did not post your name. Who are you and why are you hiding?
Natalie Lynch

Feeding Hills, MA

#39 Nov 26, 2006
Hey, Don't go by anything that Jeannie and Glen have to say! Jeannie never liked Cindy and this is her way of really sticking it to her. If would like to comment based on your own opinion, then do so. Otherwise keep quiet. Jeannie and Glen could be making this a little easier instead they insist on making it harder for all involved. They are also suing Greg and Cindy for child support, did you know that? How scummy is that! With family like that I would rather have none. I have known the Becvars and the Vincelettes for over 20 years and have know them to be both kind and loving. All I know about Glenn and Jeannie is they own a hot dog truck and are very to themselves. But they aren't the ones who have to defend themselves...or are they?
Natalie Lynch

Feeding Hills, MA

#40 Nov 26, 2006
anonymous wrote:
YOU'RE SICK!!!!!!!!!!
Pretty sad you can't say what you feel without hiding behind your "anonymous" status
Natalie Lynch

Feeding Hills, MA

#41 Nov 26, 2006
Neighbor of guardians wrote:
<quoted text>
No, it is NOT brave. It is unnecessarily exposing the children to the media. How horrible do you think it will be for them to attend school tomorrow with friends and teachers having read this article? I feel bad enough having to tell my daughter who saw the newspaper this morning to not mention anything to the children.
The children are dealing with enough right now. To have this story in the paper just makes things worse for them.
Everyone needs to start thinking about the children now, and not proving people wrong or right.
Cindy and Greg ARE brave for putting their story out there to be judged by the public, you on the otherhand are a big wimp. You can't even leave your name. Scared? Afraid that your friend the Dr. will be upset? Even better, you must think that Jeannie and Glen will not stay friends with you...you're better off without them. They are sad excuses for human beings.

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