Gay grief is 'a second-class experience'

Gay grief is 'a second-class experience'

There are 1315 comments on the gay_blog.blogspot.com story from Dec 14, 2008, titled Gay grief is 'a second-class experience'. In it, gay_blog.blogspot.com reports that:

DOCTORS, nurses and priests are adding to the suffering of grieving gay people by not acknowledging their relationship to deceased partners, a study claims. “Not having the relationship openly acknowledged at a time when the participants were in deep emotional pain exacerbated their distress and reinforced their invisibility,” according to the study by Michelle Glackin of St Angela’s College, Sligo, and Agnes Higgins of Trinity College, Dublin. More

Join the discussion below, or Read more at gay_blog.blogspot.com.

Unions SUCK

Beckley, WV

#338 Dec 16, 2008
Deez wrote:
<quoted text>
whether the govnt allows gay marriages or not you still could have been looked at funny in counseling. so whats the diff. Sorry for your loss but it is a mute point
moot point not mute point. Why do people ALWAYS say and write this wrong????
KALLY

Lancaster, OH

#340 Dec 16, 2008
why can't we all love who we want? it's people with hate in their hearts, that ruin what could be a sacred bond... anyone who takes the time to be negative is the devil... be on god's side and love one another no matter what...
Done That

Plano, TX

#341 Dec 16, 2008
Unions SUCK wrote:
<quoted text>
moot point not mute point. Why do people ALWAYS say and write this wrong????
Because they are hare brained not hair brained:)
Dacato

Canada

#343 Dec 16, 2008
Unions SUCK wrote:
<quoted text>
No one is curtailing your rights. you have the SAME ones we do. You want SPECIAL rights and THAT is NOT what this country is about.
How is it SPECIAL rights? You have the option to marry anyone you want. We want the EXCCT SAME right. How is that special?

And by the way, if I am not mistaken, prisoners have the rights to marry if they choose. This means that murderers, pedophiles and rapists have more rights than hard-working, tax-paying gay people. Not sure about you, but that does not sit well with me at all.
Done That

Plano, TX

#345 Dec 16, 2008
Dasein9 wrote:
<quoted text>
In most states, we can be fired for being homosexual.
We can be denied housing for the same reason. We have no protection under the law against discrimination on the basis of our sexual orientation.
Marriage is a civil right, according to the Supreme Court, but we may only marry in two states. There are civil unions and domestic partnerships in other states, but they neither afford all the rights, benefits, and responsibilities of marriage, nor are they recognised outside those states.
If we want to secure most of the protections of marriage, it costs us a great deal more in money and time than it costs straight couples who marry, and the legal protections we secure are not very secure; they are often overturned by courts or simply disregarded if we've crossed state lines, say to visit family.
What does this mean to you? Well, for one thing, it means that you are not living in a nation that provides equal treatment and protection under the law to all its citizens, as it claims to do. You are not living in a country that lives up to its ideals. That alone should be a source of consternation to anyone who believes in the foundational principles of this nation's legal system.
It also means that any LGBT family members you may have are in our position.(Statistically speaking, it's likely you have at least one LGBT family member.)
It means that you aren't safe from discrimination either, since all it takes for this discrimination to take place is the PERCEPTION of someone being a member of the LGBT community. It doesn't even have to be true.
In most states you can be fired for being fat or any reason. I can also be refused housing because I am heterosexual and I also am not protected from discrimination base on my heterosexuality. We both have the right to marry the person we want of the opposite sex. That is what marriage means. There are a great many sexual arrangements that don't equal marriage. Living together is not marriage nor is hooking up. We live under the same laws with identical rights under law. Only by changing the basic meaning of the word marriage does any unequal treatment take place. But then if words mean nothing laws mean nothing. The state has set laws on the age, family relationship, number of wives, and the fact that they must be of the opposite sex. If you have the right to define marriage any way you want then every other group has that same right to define the word marriage anyway they want.
Done That

Plano, TX

#346 Dec 16, 2008
Dacato wrote:
<quoted text>
How is it SPECIAL rights? You have the option to marry anyone you want. We want the EXCCT SAME right. How is that special?
And by the way, if I am not mistaken, prisoners have the rights to marry if they choose. This means that murderers, pedophiles and rapists have more rights than hard-working, tax-paying gay people. Not sure about you, but that does not sit well with me at all.
The RIGHT you really want is to define marriage anyway you want. If you have the RIGHT to change the meaning of marriage any other group has the same RIGHT. You can put a saddle on a cow and ride it. I don't care. You can call your cow a horse and I still don't care. When you claim you have the right to run your cow in the Kentucky Derby I care:)
Dacato

Canada

#347 Dec 16, 2008
Unions SUCK wrote:
<quoted text>
You DO have equal protection like everyone else does. you want SPECIAL consideration...that is NOT what this contry is about.
How do we have EQUAL protection? Just saying it doesn't make it so you moron.
Abracadaver

Latrobe, PA

#348 Dec 16, 2008
Good point! Now, lets take away the redefinition of marriage that has taken place (by str8 people) over the last 50 years.

Divorce is now against the law in all 50 states. Marriage between races is also prohibited.

Hey, that's "traditional" marriage. No exceptions, right?
Done That wrote:
<quoted text>The RIGHT you really want is to define marriage anyway you want. If you have the RIGHT to change the meaning of marriage any other group has the same RIGHT. You can put a saddle on a cow and ride it. I don't care. You can call your cow a horse and I still don't care. When you claim you have the right to run your cow in the Kentucky Derby I care:)
Fred from Topeka

Overland Park, KS

#349 Dec 16, 2008
Brian wrote:
This is not a surprise from a culture that does not acknowledge our equality. This is another reason why marriage matters. This society looks at us as less than animals.
Comparing homosexuals to animals is insulting to my dogs.
Dacato

Canada

#351 Dec 16, 2008
Done That wrote:
<quoted text>The RIGHT you really want is to define marriage anyway you want. If you have the RIGHT to change the meaning of marriage any other group has the same RIGHT. You can put a saddle on a cow and ride it. I don't care. You can call your cow a horse and I still don't care. When you claim you have the right to run your cow in the Kentucky Derby I care:)
History tells us that things do change. It used to be illegal for blacks to marry whites. That law was changed despite the fact that nearly 70% of Americans opposed the change.

I have just one question and I would really like you to answer as honestly as possible.

How does me marrying my partner affect YOUR marriage in ANY WAY? Forget about the definition of one man and one woman for a moment. How would YOUR life be different if I married my partner? Having a hard time coming up with an answer I bet.

Does it really just come down to the definition of marriage? With nearly 50% of hetero marriages ending in divorce these days, with the number of women and children being beaten by spouses, with Hollywood types getting married and divorced as if it is no big deal, the institution of marriage you heteros are trying so hard to protect is such a mess and a sham that I am starting to think maybe the gays should reconsider their stance. Who wants to be associated with a right that has turned into such a joke?
Hunter of GOR

Springfield, MO

#352 Dec 16, 2008
Once again! Gays are just for comic relief in movies and real life..Not to be taken serious.
Harry Arse

United States

#353 Dec 16, 2008
We love you gays. Please don't go away. If you went back into your closets, who would we heteros raise our children to laugh at?
Harry Arse

United States

#354 Dec 16, 2008
Dacato wrote:
<quoted text>
History tells us that things do change. It used to be illegal for blacks to marry whites. That law was changed despite the fact that nearly 70% of Americans opposed the change.
I have just one question and I would really like you to answer as honestly as possible.
How does me marrying my partner affect YOUR marriage in ANY WAY? Forget about the definition of one man and one woman for a moment. How would YOUR life be different if I married my partner? Having a hard time coming up with an answer I bet.
Does it really just come down to the definition of marriage? With nearly 50% of hetero marriages ending in divorce these days, with the number of women and children being beaten by spouses, with Hollywood types getting married and divorced as if it is no big deal, the institution of marriage you heteros are trying so hard to protect is such a mess and a sham that I am starting to think maybe the gays should reconsider their stance. Who wants to be associated with a right that has turned into such a joke?
Stay in Canada, eh? No one cares about canucks here in the USA......

“What Goes Around, Comes Around”

Since: Mar 07

Kansas City, MO.

#355 Dec 16, 2008
Harry Arse wrote:
We love you gays. Please don't go away. If you went back into your closets, who would we heteros raise our children to laugh at?
You....for being such an idiot. Got it? ROTFL

“Enough Drama”

Since: Jan 08

Location hidden

#356 Dec 16, 2008
I think this is as far as Gays will get, some states let you have Civil unions so I don't see why this is a topix?

With so many things going on now. You keep going on about this marriage thing and trying to force it and there will be violence.
Unions SUCK

Beckley, WV

#357 Dec 16, 2008
Dacato wrote:
<quoted text>
How do we have EQUAL protection? Just saying it doesn't make it so you moron.
And saying you DON'T doesn't make it so either dumbass.

Since: Nov 08

Roanoke, VA

#359 Dec 16, 2008
To the Trolls, you know who you are but just in case here are a few: whitehair, Harry Arse, nurse, Righty Whiteman, ricky ticky, jay lo, Joseph Tyson, Unions SUCK, Fred from Topeka, free, etc
It is sooooo amusing and pathetic that you have nothing better to do than hang & post in a GLBT forum. Yes I agree with Scottymagic it is boring. But that means you trolls are boring. I for one will not move on. Your kindergarten mentality is so known by all. Not hard to deal with, Like gnats. I realize you all get your jollies by posting here. You keep right on hating and bashing. We are strong and used to the ignorance. After all it isn't your fault that your sexuality matches your mind - small and useless. If you were not useless you would not be hanging out in here, you would actually have a life that obviously is in need of attention. It must be awful to be so filled with hate and self loathing that you do this. I pity you. Yep you read that correctly, I pity you. See I am gay so I am supposed to be in here. You on the other hand are a lurker, like a peeping tom. No life of your own so you intrude on others. You don't bother me at all. Actually you make me proud to be who and what I am. Why? Because I am nothing like you. So thank you for the directional tips on how to be a better human being. And please keep posting and reminding us of what we do not want to be. In your own small minded way you help make the world a better place by being an example of pure useless hate. And one thing I sincerely hope we, GLBT's, have learned is that we do not want to become like you, haters. So have a good day, post on, and help us become stronger. The more you rant, the more the whole world will also see they do not want their lives consumed with such hate and negativity. Peace be to you, and God speed on your journey. Cause the journey sure is gonna be better than where ya end up.
Unions SUCK

Beckley, WV

#360 Dec 16, 2008
Harry Arse wrote:
We love you gays. Please don't go away. If you went back into your closets, who would we heteros raise our children to laugh at?
And to beat the snot out of...
Harry Arse

United States

#361 Dec 16, 2008
Imprtnrd wrote:
<quoted text>You....for being such an idiot. Got it? ROTFL
Aw, now my feelings are hurt. I am going to gather my children around the computer for Christmas and teach them how to laugh at you! We are having hot chocolate and popcorn, and laughing. God bless normalcy and heteros!

“ illegitimus non carborundum”

Since: May 08

Columbia, S.C.

#362 Dec 16, 2008
I work with critically injured patients and this subject is one of the reasons I decided to be 'out' professionally. I've seen a nurse who was kinder to swastika-tattooed criminals than he was to a man he knew was gay. For the most part the MDs, RNs, and therapists I work with are intelligent and socially evolved. The homophobic rednecks know that they are wrong, but when they think they can get away with it, they let their true colors show. If you have a family member in the hospital, please be vigilant about who you let care for him/her.

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