Non-believing White boy marries Muslim Somali Girl

Posted in the Oslo, Norway Forum

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Fighting Word

Almaty, Kazakhstan

#1 May 7, 2009
Okay,

So really this is directed to Somali girls in particular, but you can never choose who actually answers. I'm in love with a Somali girl; she's in love with me. I'm thinking about marrying her, but I will not convert to Islam. Frankly, I don't believe in that higher power shit. It's not against Islam, but against all religions. My girl is of course a Muslim (and a believer, though not a good girl)because we all know what happens to people who are born Muslims but decide that they don't believe. She says that she doesn't care, and I think that right now love has made her blind. There's her family too, who completely disagree with the whole situation. Of course, there will eventually be a question about what doctrine we pound into our child's soft, believing skulls.

All this said, I have no intention of changing my wife's beliefs, making her eat pigs or drink alcohol. But I won't stop this either. Can we continue to live in this separate but equal bliss?

What do you all think? Would you ever be with a man with no faith? Would you stay with a man who refuses to convert to Islam? Is love really the answer? Or my pragmatic side that believes the gap is too big the correct answer?

Of course there will be the bigots and reactionaries, but I'm more interested in responses from Somali girls, who are at least willing to understand and consider the situation
Anonymous

Singapore, Singapore

#2 May 12, 2009
Dear sir,

Under Islamic law it is not permissable for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. While you may not accept Islam, I highly recommend that you learn about this religiion as it is a peaceful and easy way of life. Do not allow your prejudices to blind you. In the end I hope you find the truth.
asi

Lund, Sweden

#3 Jun 23, 2009
true... either u have to convert to her religion... or u and her cannot get married. But it depends on if she wants to marry u even thou u dont wanna convert to her religion.
Haybe

Minneapolis, MN

#4 Jun 30, 2009
first, I hope you are adult enough to understand when comes to marriage, a good marriage to you want to sustain family, have children and live with your sweet heart until one of you dies more important subject to exmamine and weight than the temmparary feelings of love. Man often looks at close distance while women are bit better at though individuality could play a rol. So I tell, instead of creating problem for,divorce, family hatred, u disconfort ur wife asking wish u body aftering pigs, just look for someone you competely live togethether. Indeed,Bro,Islam is a way of life dispite the distortions W.media makes about, Read the Guran, and approciate. Third, make sure make farhter research and you communicate with her about this in every detial so you marriage will not be Summer follower. Thank you
Haybe

Minneapolis, MN

#5 Jun 30, 2009
I am sorry, didn't brush my grammar. Let me try again. U marriage should be along term marriage, not a summer flower. DOes she wants u, has sex with u now, and is ready for you marry but ur problem is the family and bit the nostalgia of religiosity? Than, u,guys, shoudl communicate deeply about this. Second, Love is temparary feelings, dont look at close distance, little beauity, booty that will disappear, but family, religion, and culture play greater role when haversting family. therefore, I would encourage u read quran, I think marrying muslim gurl, who doesnt want to leave religion, eat pigs,or bear, would be had to life and have religion with. For thing, she would ask to clean ur self before, kiss her cuze ate pips, would ask u to have different silverware.Somali women are not also Asian women whites love because subsurviness. They will spit on u and have to learn how to treat somali women because they are different than those whites. I dated with white M. Woman and understand somali woman are more likely to say u should be doning this. I love somali women and please dont mistreat her. Second, i would encourage u to have strong relationship with parents, especially mothe, father and brothers. THird, understand history of somali communities living in the west, we cry fake names, fake clans, but still remain citizens, so should not be suprised later on. Fourth, should understand competely her background,clan,subclan and be like somali man. THan u will enjoy have beautful somali guril as a wife. We somali have extra, will have soft hair like Pakistani, which beautiful. Thanks bro
ayaan

Leeds, UK

#6 Jun 30, 2009
from my point of view i think that u need to think before u enter marriage with the love of ur life, as u said she aint a good girl how sure r u about her?????
kram

Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea

#7 Jul 6, 2009
yeah tough one there, i am actually in similar spot with malaysian girl. i did convert although i also believe that religion is a complete crock of s--- and that people who believe are somewhat retarded. We have had our arguments, met with her parents who all sat around looking at me like i was the devil.
I have not told my family i converted but they know she is muslim, they openminded so were ok with it all. My advise is get her into your society, let her keep her religion and hope does not cause issues. If her family strict muslims then you got problems as they will not allow her to get married to you. So just convert then get her out of islamic country!
Somalia_ For_Dummies

Oslo, Norway

#8 Jul 10, 2009
kram wrote:
yeah tough one there, i am actually in similar spot with malaysian girl. i did convert although i also believe that religion is a complete crock of s--- and that people who believe are somewhat retarded. We have had our arguments, met with her parents who all sat around looking at me like i was the devil.
I have not told my family i converted but they know she is muslim, they openminded so were ok with it all. My advise is get her into your society, let her keep her religion and hope does not cause issues. If her family strict muslims then you got problems as they will not allow her to get married to you. So just convert then get her out of islamic country!
You seem like 'munafaq' or hypocrite. You are contradicting yourself by saying that you converted, but at the same time say that religion is a complete crock of s---.

It is obvious that you are cheating her. My advice to you is: Don't shatter the life of this young girl who trusted you.

Your case is a warning to any Muslim girl who is in mind of marrying or associating with a non-believer.
Somalia_ For_Dummies

Oslo, Norway

#9 Jul 10, 2009
Fighting Word wrote:
Okay,
So really this is directed to Somali girls in particular, but you can never choose who actually answers. I'm in love with a Somali girl; she's in love with me. I'm thinking about marrying her, but I will not convert to Islam. Frankly, I don't believe in that higher power shit. It's not against Islam, but against all religions. My girl is of course a Muslim (and a believer, though not a good girl)because we all know what happens to people who are born Muslims but decide that they don't believe. She says that she doesn't care, and I think that right now love has made her blind. There's her family too, who completely disagree with the whole situation. Of course, there will eventually be a question about what doctrine we pound into our child's soft, believing skulls.
All this said, I have no intention of changing my wife's beliefs, making her eat pigs or drink alcohol. But I won't stop this either. Can we continue to live in this separate but equal bliss?
What do you all think? Would you ever be with a man with no faith? Would you stay with a man who refuses to convert to Islam? Is love really the answer? Or my pragmatic side that believes the gap is too big the correct answer?
Of course there will be the bigots and reactionaries, but I'm more interested in responses from Somali girls, who are at least willing to understand and consider the situation
I saw your bs in other forums. Get a life dude. You never have met any Somali girl in your life, and you are not a white man period. I know who you are.
idil

Minneapolis, MN

#10 Aug 1, 2009
Let me get this straight, she is a good girl and doesn't care if you convert or not?
what da hell u want an opinion for?
YOu got your ho, so keep her and stop ur bs
idil

Minneapolis, MN

#11 Aug 1, 2009
Let me get this straight, she is not a good girl and doesn't care if you convert or not?
what da hell u want an opinion for?
YOu got your ho, so keep her and stop ur bs
kadra

Dieppe, France

#12 Aug 4, 2009
i dont see any broblem, after all love is indeed blind. i am a 29 years old somali woman married to a dutch man, we respect each others views,opinions and ways of life. i have not changed myself for him nor he for me, i dont drink nor take pork, my husband doesnt eat pork also. he has worked in somalia for 5 years and knows my religion and culture in and out i have never cooked pork in my house! my family have all met him and love him. sometimes some somalis have a very bad impression of people--they so easily judge! they think we are whores just because we married non somalis. i think the somali men are jealous creatures and they dont like somali women been married to non somalis... thats the truth!

kadra,
amsterdam

“Your beautifull”

Since: Aug 09

Jhb South africa

#13 Aug 4, 2009
Hi im nt muslim but i can tell u a few thngs. I have a friend who is muslim. She wants to marry her bf. Hes nt muslim. Her family said no. They have a chld. Bt her family says he must convert and he wnt. If the family dnt want than u in trouble. U have 3 options. 1: leave her. 2:change to islam. 3:change jst 4 d marriage aftr that go bk to being u. Discouse it with her. I wld go 4 option 3.But u have to leav pork!

“Your beautifull”

Since: Aug 09

Jhb South africa

#14 Aug 4, 2009
kadra wrote:
i dont see any broblem, after all love is indeed blind. i am a 29 years old somali woman married to a dutch man, we respect each others views,opinions and ways of life. i have not changed myself for him nor he for me, i dont drink nor take pork, my husband doesnt eat pork also. he has worked in somalia for 5 years and knows my religion and culture in and out i have never cooked pork in my house! my family have all met him and love him. sometimes some somalis have a very bad impression of people--they so easily judge! they think we are whores just because we married non somalis. i think the somali men are jealous creatures and they dont like somali women been married to non somalis... thats the truth!
kadra,
amsterdam
ur family surported u. Think is will her family like him? Dnt look like it.
SomaliGirl

Warminster, UK

#15 Nov 18, 2009
May that girl see sense if she is a believer. If not, then you can marry her because she doesn't believe in Islam anyhow. I don't see how two people with such different beliefs can live together as husband and wife. It is one thing to understand another person's point of view but marrying them whilst knowing that they don't have the same values as you is just plain madness. You'll never have peace within that household.
Find a nice non-Muslim girl. There are plenty of them out there.

I'm sorry but but I dn't believe in the "love is blind" bullsh-it. Love is irrational at times but it can't make you blind to your values (if you had any to begin with).
Fatuma Jama

Nairobi, Kenya

#16 Nov 19, 2009
I do agree with madam kadra, for two people to be together you have to respect each others lives and views. love is rational and not blind. you have to know what you want in your life.

For me , i am in my second marriage. my first husband was called Ali, he was somali, my clan infact. We married for 6 years, he was the most horrible human being i had ever known. He used to cheat on me( he used to frequent prostitute clubs). He used to drink ,lazy, beat me up, called me names. I got fedup and i kicked him out. I was so depressed i moved from Dubai to Kenya, my brothers wanted to kill him!..Thank God i was offered a job with the united nations. I started a new life and i met my australian husband also working with the united nations. we were friends and later married under a civil court. we are happy together and my brothers are very happy because i am happy. anyway my point is: meet and marry the right man,which ever form he comes in! it will be your life.Discuss with your family and ask them to see in your point of view. My sister unfortunately lives a very sad life, she got fixed with a cousin.... and upto now she is stil planning how to leave him . my father always says : have your own money and career, so that when your husband decided to take off, you will be okey and will not need to be dependent.

FATUMA
UNEP
Gigiri/nairobi
gaalo eri

Dhahran, Saudi Arabia

#17 Nov 27, 2009
hadaad aragtaan naag saas oo kale ah waa mid xun
oo awelba suuqa ku jirtey ma noqon karo jacayl
in in gabar muslim ahi nin gaala guursato hadii
uusan muslimayn dooqna manoqonkarto ee waa edebdaro iyo dhaqankale raac waxaan leeyahay in arimahaas oo kale ay ka fiirsadaan gabdhaha soomaalida ahi ama waxii islaam ahba wbt
ugaas casuus-gaalo iri
qaaluu

Dhahran, Saudi Arabia

#18 Nov 27, 2009
asc maanta soomaalidii la arki jirey ma joogto
haday joogtana waa in yaaban oo buufis kaga dhacay
jiilkan maanta jooga ama nool
waayo waxaas oo kale baa dhacaya aan hore loo maqli jirin ama la arki jirin in gabar muslima oo weliba soomaaliya ay guursato non believers, kaasi guurba laguma sheegi karee iyadaa ku camiranaysa suuqa iyo war baahinta so , hadaba waa dhaqan lumay oo aan dib usoo noqonayn ee bal inta hartayeey iska jira inta kalena ilaahay hasoo hadeey dhamaan-aamiin.
dr: qaaluu- massey university-netherland
guuleed

Toronto, Canada

#19 Nov 27, 2009
most somalis dont follow the strict rules of islaam and most of them like all muslims are superficial muslims.and that girl must be lucky as your a non muslim you would not share one or several wives with her.
sizzlinglady

Tempe, AZ

#20 Dec 5, 2009
I did seen non muslim guy and muslim girl marriend before. I think there is nothing wrong with two people who are in love with each other.I think the most important thing is having respect each other differences and embrace it. If she doesn't mind that you have to convert to Islam or vie verse then go ahead. It doesn't matter if her family approves or not. At the end of the is about who you come home to. Remember you not marrying the family, you are marrying the girl. I personally think is wrong to convert to a religion for the purpose of love.

People will tell you that it is against islam to marry muslim women or muslim women to marry to non muslim but that isn't correct at all. Matter a fact there is no where does it state in the Qu'ran that a woman can't marry non muslim men. People misinterpreted the qu'ran. Men can marry non muslim women but women can't marry non men isn't accurate all. Read the last chapter of the qu'ran it will say the same thing for men as women too. God dosn't discriminate but human does.God is fair judge.

and please read the English version of the Qu'ran, it will clarify for you what I am trying to prove here.

Follow your heart and don't listen to people who are trying to lie to you.

Best luck

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