Alien 911

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#1 Dec 23, 2013
This could be a game. What would 911 calls on other planets be like? Just imagine:

911, what is your emergency?

This orange guy broke into my house and hacked off one of my heads.

Tell me where you live.

I'd tell you, but I can't access my other brain.

Well please stay calm. Help is on the way.

Calm? They killed half of me and I'm supposed to remain calm? What will my friends think, I'm missing a head?!!

I know this is frustrating for you, but you need to stay calm.

----

If we don't have stories like that, then maybe at least give a one-line scenario, eg.:

Someone stole my spaceship.

This Green guy robbed me.

I am human, but this space alien assaulted me, and I seem to be pregnant with a whole litter of aliens.

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#2 Dec 23, 2013
Caller: Alien 911? I can't get into my living room. There is this creature with blue fur and 3 eyes on tentacles coming out of its head. It is growling, and lots of a slimy substance is coming out of what might be a mouth, and I am scared to go near it.

Operator: That sounds like a dogoid. Normally they are friendly, but by your description, that one sounds like it is very sick with a contagious disease. We will send out animal control, and try your best to avoid contact with it.

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#3 Dec 23, 2013
911? My kid has spots, what do I do?

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#4 Dec 23, 2013
911: Alien 911, what is your emergency?

Caller: My Green daughter ate some weird plant, and she's now blue with orange spots, what do I do?

911: Don't panic, help is on the way. Meanwhile, try to induce vomiting.

Caller: Okay, I have a tentacle down her throat, and ewww! Up it comes! What is all this? It looks like bugs!

911: It sounds like she ate some mildly poisonous bugs. It is good you got them out. A medical hovercraft is still on the way to be sure she is alright.

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#5 Dec 23, 2013
911: Alien 911, what is your emergency?

Caller: It looks like a racial riot is starting down the street from me.

911: What makes you think it is a riot?

Caller: There are two dumpsters on fire, a burning spaceship in the middle of the street, and bunch of Orange, Green, and Blue guys in one hell of a fight.

911: About how many sentient beings are involved?

Caller: About 50 to 100

911: What about weapons?

Caller: It appears they have slimeguns, phasers, chains, brass tentacles, and even hand grenades smuggled in from Earth.

911: We will send out a riot team. What else do you see?

Caller: A group of alien girls all stuck together and engaging in tentacle pulling and slapping.

911: Let us know if that escalates, but we are more concerned with the riot and the artillery being used. Just hope they stay clear of the main riot, and make sure you stay clear of it too.

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#6 Dec 23, 2013
Alien 911: What is your emergency?

Caller: a spaceship just crashed in my residence pod.

911: Are you alright?

Caller: Yes. My place is in a mess, but I'm alright.

911: What about the pilot?

Caller: They're feeling no pain. They're so slime-faced. They are lying on the ground giggling uncontrollably and grasping a huge bottle of Tentacle Tickler. Most of it is gone too.

911: Emergency vehicles are on the way. You might want to get out of your residence in case the place is unstable from the crash.

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#7 Dec 23, 2013
911: Alien 911 here.

Caller: My Orange boyfriend just beat me up.

911: Are you injured?

Caller: A little bit. My mother warned me not to get involved with Orange guys. She told me I should stick with Blue guys.

911: Well, where is your boyfriend, do you feel safe now?

Caller: He left to go to the inner city to score some alien fun pills. Probably on 54th Street.

911: We will send out police and medical.

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#8 Dec 23, 2013
911: Alien 911, how can I assist?

Caller: There is a Green guy standing outside my door using spray paint to spray vandalism on my house.

911: Someone is on the way. But please, don't go out there.

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#9 Dec 23, 2013
Alien 911: What's your emergency?

Caller: We have a holdup here at First Tentacle Bank and Trust.

911: How many robbers are there?

Caller: Four.

911: What do they look like?

Caller: They are Green with yellow spots.

911: I heard shots fired, is everyone safe?

Caller: One of the robbers shot himself and has left a trail leading out the door, but nobody in the bank is hurt. The robbers are gone.

911: Police are on the way.

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#10 Dec 23, 2013
911: How can we help you?

Caller: We are on vacation on another planet, and we were just robbed.

911: What happened?

Caller: They accosted us and threatened us, one with a dead mouse-like creature, and the other threatened us with a noodle. They said if we didn't give them the ashes and cigarettes out of our ashtray, they would shoot us. Then the one shoved money into my mouth. And they took a rag out of the back seat.

911: Let me guess, you are taking a trip on planet Stupidicus Robberia?

Caller: How did you know?

911: The way they robbed you is a clue. If you were anywhere else, they would have pointed an actual weapon at you. They would have hit you in the face with the ashtray, tied you with the rag, and taken money out of your pockets, not steal your ashes and give you money. They would have told you not to rat, not threaten you with a rat.

Caller: So what should we do?

911: I would leave their planet, and I wouldn't have any contact with their police, since they might arrest you for being a robbery victim. That's all, so have a nice day!

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#11 Dec 23, 2013
Caller: Hello?

911: Alien 911, how can we help you sir?

Caller: Me and my same-tentacle lover just got attacked at home.

911: Are you hurt bad, and are you safe?

Caller: We are not hurt bad, but I don't think we are safe. There is a mob outside, and it looks like they have a container with something flammable. They are chanting names and yelling threats.

911: Sounds like a hate crime. Stay put and barricade yourself the best way you know. Police, fire, and medical are on the way.

“My LIFE My LOVE My TOPIX”

Since: Dec 13

Stump Water Ar.

#12 Dec 23, 2013
WOW!!!! You BATSHlT CRAZY!!!

I LIKE !!!!!!

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#13 Dec 23, 2013
911: Alien 911, how can I help?

Caller: My two daughters are stuck together.

911: What were they doing before they got stuck?

Caller: They just took a slime bath. We were trying a new brand...

911: What was the brand?

Caller: Heads & Tentacles

911: There was a recall issued. The parent company makes a lot of products, including glue, and they occasionally mix them up.

Caller: So what do I do?

911: Luckily, this is not a medical emergency. Just bathe them in warm water and soap to get all the glue out. Yes, that will be irritating, so you might want to have real slime on hand, and some tentacle oil. But if they break out, you should get them to a doctor.

Caller: Thank you so much!

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#14 Dec 23, 2013
Oh, here are some real 911 calls:



One called saying that aliens were coming through her walls.

“My LIFE My LOVE My TOPIX”

Since: Dec 13

Stump Water Ar.

#15 Dec 23, 2013
Spotted Girl wrote:
911: Alien 911, how can I help?

Caller: My two daughters are stuck together.

911: What were they doing before they got stuck?

Caller: They just took a slime bath. We were trying a new brand...

911: What was the brand?

Caller: Heads & Tentacles

911: There was a recall issued. The parent company makes a lot of products, including glue, and they occasionally mix them up.

Caller: So what do I do?

911: Luckily, this is not a medical emergency. Just bathe them in warm water and soap to get all the glue out. Yes, that will be irritating, so you might want to have real slime on hand, and some tentacle oil. But if they break out, you should get them to a doctor.

Caller: Thank you so much!
OMG OMG!!!! Go MAN Go!!!!!

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