There goes the neighborhood!

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#12584 Sep 9, 2013
Hatti_Hollerand wrote:
Monday has arrived , again ...
WAKE UP neighbors.!!:)
Shhh, you's wakeup Donkey an then him want to eat.

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#12585 Sep 9, 2013
Good morning Folks!

Back with us once again right here on There goes the neighborhood!.........is our NOT so favorite squatty body, jiggly fat, baby bottle sucking, diaper wearing dwarf Voyeur!

But before he starts his act, he wants to everyone he loves you almost as much as Donkey!

~~~~~~~~~~

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're
in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender, take taxi home.

SYMPTOM: Taxi's interior suddenly takes on colorful aspect and
textures. FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

SYMPTOM: Ugly woman in your sights.
FAULT: Insufficient beer intake.
ACTION: Up the dosage.

SYMPTOM: Shins and toes hurt.
FAULT: You've been walking into things.
ACTION: Maintain dosage.

SYMPTOM: Bed is bumping around.
FAULT: Taking an ambulance ride.
ACTION: It's too late, you made an idiot of yourself.

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#12586 Sep 9, 2013
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#12587 Sep 9, 2013
The primary thing a helicopter tries to do is shake itself apart
Helicopters don't fly, they beat the air into submission

Definition:
Crash (n.)- A landing in which the vertical velocity is so great, and the time spent reducing that velocity to zero is so short, that the resultant forces cause structural failure of the airframe.

----------
Monday Dec 21 2009

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that is sad news indeed. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father.." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said,'Please Mary, put down the gun...'

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#12588 Sep 9, 2013
Ten things you should never say to a woman during an argument

Don't you have some laundry to do or something?
Oh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off.
You are just upset because you butt is beginning to spread.
Wait a minute - I get it. What time of the month is it?
You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?
Sorry. I was just picturing you naked.
Whoa, time out. Football is on.
Looks like someone had a bowl of bitch flakes this morning!
Is there anyway we can do this via e-mail?
Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded.

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#12589 Sep 9, 2013
She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit.

Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up. And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her. She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me. I told her that was what the beer was for.

I don't think she's coming back.

Level 6

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#12591 Sep 9, 2013
Just checking on the neighborhood, how's things going here?

“I care more about my character”

Level 7

Since: Jun 11

...... then my reputation

#12592 Sep 9, 2013
Ricky F wrote:
<quoted text>What's his name? Lol, just kidding, have a good one!
Paul, hahahahaha!

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#12593 Sep 9, 2013
Blue_Eye_Gemini wrote:
Just checking on the neighborhood, how's things going here?
I'm sitting around hoping someone brought breakfast, I'm starving! lol

Good morning!

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#12594 Sep 9, 2013
Beautiful Black Molly wrote:
<quoted text>Paul, hahahahaha!
lol Morning BBM!

“Colorful Beyond Words”

Level 10

Since: May 11

"Always On The Go "

#12595 Sep 9, 2013
Nobody 2 Special wrote:
<quoted text>
ICK!
I totally agree ...ICK !!..BUT ... us worker bees have to get started ....even if it is slowly. LOL !

“Colorful Beyond Words”

Level 10

Since: May 11

"Always On The Go "

#12596 Sep 9, 2013
Ricky F wrote:
<quoted text>I'm sitting around hoping someone brought breakfast, I'm starving! lol
Good morning!
Donkey ate it all !!

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#12597 Sep 9, 2013
Hatti_Hollerand wrote:
<quoted text>
I totally agree ...ICK !!..BUT ... us worker bees have to get started ....even if it is slowly. LOL !
Worker bees, did you have to put it like that? lol

“Denny Crain”

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#12598 Sep 9, 2013
Hatti_Hollerand wrote:
<quoted text>
I totally agree ...ICK !!..BUT ... us worker bees have to get started ....even if it is slowly. LOL !
Good morning Hatti. It is Monday all over town and just when I was getting used to the weekend

“I care more about my character”

Level 7

Since: Jun 11

...... then my reputation

#12599 Sep 9, 2013
Ricky F wrote:
<quoted text>lol Morning BBM!
You called me out! HAHAHA
Good morning to you too.

“Colorful Beyond Words”

Level 10

Since: May 11

"Always On The Go "

#12600 Sep 9, 2013
Ricky F wrote:
<quoted text>Worker bees, did you have to put it like that? lol
Hey , us bees have stingers and can just buzz around !

“Colorful Beyond Words”

Level 10

Since: May 11

"Always On The Go "

#12601 Sep 9, 2013
Denny CranesPlace wrote:
<quoted text>Good morning Hatti. It is Monday all over town and just when I was getting used to the weekend
Happy Monday Denny.... the weekends are always too short for me.

Hey how about those Cowboys! Very interesting game.

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#12602 Sep 9, 2013
Beautiful Black Molly wrote:
<quoted text>
You called me out! HAHAHA
Good morning to you too.
Someone needed to! lol

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#12603 Sep 9, 2013
Hatti_Hollerand wrote:
<quoted text>
Hey , us bees have stingers and can just buzz around !
ZAP!

Take that!!

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#12604 Sep 9, 2013
Denny CranesPlace wrote:
<quoted text>Good morning Hatti. It is Monday all over town and just when I was getting used to the weekend
Morning Denny, how was your weekend?

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