There goes the neighborhood!

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#10774 Aug 26, 2013
RoSesz wrote:
JUST MADE A NEW THREAD
please add your favorite oddity
http://www.topix.com/forum/news/weird
We did so well with the SAY NO thread
Thought this might be fun:)
Sorry Rose, this does not link to anything.

USA_1

“For F***'s Sake”

Level 1

Since: Aug 13

Tanner Flats

#10775 Aug 26, 2013
Ricky F wrote:
<quoted text>He was about show, but his voice was also perfect for that band until he burned himself out on Colorado Chick type drugs!
LOL.

USA_1

“For F***'s Sake”

Level 1

Since: Aug 13

Tanner Flats

#10776 Aug 26, 2013
Naturally Wired wrote:
<quoted text>
Gotta go check it out. I'm usually only on Offbeat nowadays. Well, I do like the islam forums, it's fun getting the moonbats all mad at me.
I've been doing the same thing on the Australian forums too, lol.

“GOD SO LOVED US”

Level 6

Since: Aug 08

He Gave His SON,JESUS Christ

#10777 Aug 26, 2013
_Susan_ wrote:
<quoted text>
Sorry Rose, this does not link to anything.
Yes sorry .

This one works ...
http://www.topix.com/forum/news/weird/T35KU14...

And you can see what it is in about 5 seconds ..the rest is just..well I have no idea,how she functions

“GOD SO LOVED US”

Level 6

Since: Aug 08

He Gave His SON,JESUS Christ

#10778 Aug 26, 2013
TRY AGAIN

STRANGE THINGS AND ODDITIES

http://www.topix.com/forum/news/weird/T35KU14...

sorry about the other link

Please add your own oddities

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#10779 Aug 27, 2013
Good morning wonderful neighbors. An early start to the day for me.

See you all later.

:)

“268th Attack Hel Bn”

Level 8

Since: May 07

AH-1S Cobra

#10789 Aug 27, 2013
Hey all missed ya. <waves>

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#10790 Aug 27, 2013
Good morning Folks!

Back with us once again right here on There goes the neighborhood!.........is our NOT so favorite squatty body, jiggly fat, baby bottle sucking, diaper wearing dwarf Voyeur!

But before he starts his act, he wants to everyone he loves you almost as much as Donkey!

~~~~~~~~~~

Top Ten Things You'd Rather Not Overhear from the Cockpit

10. "The union president called - he said the pilots' strike starts IMMEDIATELY."

9. "We'll just ask the flight attendant to wake us up when we get there."

8. "My name is Forrest Gump - people call me Forrest Gump."

7. "Hey, Jim, do you remember where we're going?"

6. "Buckle your seat belt - I'm going to try something I saw in a cartoon."

5. "Bye, bye, Miss American Pie..."

4. "Wow, we're sure a lot lighter now that we dropped that second engine!"

3. "Only 500 more flight hours, and I'll get my license!"

2. "They say this plane practically flies itself. Good thing, huh?"

1. "Me? I thought you were at the controls!"

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#10791 Aug 27, 2013
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?"

The nav replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"

The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"

The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table.

The pilot asked, "What's that for?"

"To be honest sir," the nav replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#10792 Aug 27, 2013
DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICANISM
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they give excellent quality milk, drink lots of beer, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English..
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#10793 Aug 27, 2013
It's a Sunday morning in an old rural church that is packed when *BOOM! CRASH*... thunder roars, the wind howls... and *POOF*! There in the middle of the church appears the devil. People start screaming. There's panic and mayhem as everyone runs for the exits...well... almost everyone. Two people are still there in the church, in the presence of Satan. One is the pastor, and the other is an old farmer. Well, Satan is a bit perplexed. He points to the pastor and says, "You, I can understand not running and hiding from me. You are here in your Lord's house. You preach against me every day and you are not afraid. But YOU!" he points to the old farmer sitting calmly in a pew, "Why did you not run from me?" The farmer crosses one leg over the other, pulls the toothpick he was chewing out of his mouth... "Me? Why, I'm surprised you don't recognize me. I've been married to your sister for 38 years."

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#10794 Aug 27, 2013
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support
Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the bill. I'm running late now.
Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the bill.
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your bill.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
Waiter leaves.
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!

The bill:
Soup of the Day 3.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day 2.50
Access to Support 1.00
TOTAL 6.50

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#10795 Aug 27, 2013
Rules For Men

1. The Female always makes The Rules.
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately
change some or all of The Rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6.(If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding
which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)
7.(If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the
misunderstanding.)
8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from
the Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be
angry or upset.
12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not
she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.
14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a
backbone, and is a wimp.
15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is
that all?" when the Female is complaining.
17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!

50 Rules For Women

This is a list of rules that guys wished women knew...
1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
3. Don't make us guess.
4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
6. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."
7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
8. Dogs are better than cats.
9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.
11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
12. You have enough clothes.
13. You have too many shoes.
14. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
15. Your brother is an idiot.
16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
17. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
18. Share the bathroom
19. Share the closet.
20. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
22. Nothing says 'I love you' like sex in the morning.
23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
24. Check your oil.
25. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
26. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
27. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
28. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
29. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
30. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
31. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both.
35. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
36. Don't make 50 rules when 36 will do.

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#10797 Aug 27, 2013
Blue_Eye_Gemini wrote:
Where is everyone? Does everyone just get up and leave at the same time on the forum?
Jed had a new batch of moonshine out on in the back 40, lol.

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#10798 Aug 27, 2013
MPk_Kid wrote:
<quoted text>
Hey there, Gem. Could be that they're down at the grand opening of the new supermarket. Free stuff, great deals, door prizes...
I was down there earlier this afternoon, and won a case of lima beans!
Lima beans lol

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#10799 Aug 27, 2013
Rotor Head wrote:
Hey all missed ya. <waves>
Hands Rotor a cold one!

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#10800 Aug 27, 2013
Morning everyone!

“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#10801 Aug 27, 2013
Good morning, Ricky.

Since: Jul 09

Location hidden

#10804 Aug 27, 2013
Good day folks.

Quiet here, everything alright?..lol

Since: Jul 09

Location hidden

#10805 Aug 27, 2013
MPk_Kid wrote:
<quoted text>
They're okay. Their logo and name are more notable than the actual donuts.(lol)
Tim Horton's is the big coffee-donut franchise in Canada. Just letting you know this important info.

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